Sakura inhaled deeply as she looked from left to right in the hospital halls.
The coast was clear. The only people around were the ones in that line waiting to be tested.
With another sigh, Sakura rushed over to the back of the line—
Not before bumping into someone.
"S—Sorry!"
Her eyes widened at who was in front of her.
"W—What are you doing in the line?" Sakura whispered frantically.
Sasuke stared back at her impassively.
"You don't need to be in this line!" she muttered, poking him in the chest harshly. "Or well, not because of me anyways…"
He frowned back.
"Then why are you in the line?"
"Well…"
Sakura blushed darkly.
"Well I thought… Um… You!"
Sasuke made an offended face before glaring at her and raising his voice.
"I do not have syphilis."
"Well neither do I!"
"Good!"
"Fine!"
-
shades of grey
by: ohwhatsherface
3. McSyphilis
-
Naruto pulled on his pants awkwardly with one hand while using the other to help slurp up his noodles.
Sakura and Sasuke frowned at him.
"Are you okay, Naruto…?" Sakura asked slowly, sounding like the doctor she was. "You've been squirming in your pants since you and Sasuke-kun left for your mission two days ago… You guys are back now, and you're still the same. What's wrong with you?"
Naruto squirmed again.
"Nothing is wrong with me," he lied with a forced smile. "I'm great—"
"Just spit it out dobe."
On a normal occasion, Naruto would have said something back, then Sasuke, igniting a chain of childish insults, and then Sakura would tell them to either shut the hell up or get the hell out of her apartment, and then the two would stop fighting and sit down.
But this time it was different.
"I, um…"
He swallowed awkwardly.
"Sakura-chan, you're a doctor, right?"
Sakura twitched slightly, offended by his question.
"I like to think so," she hissed with sarcasm in her voice.
If Naruto had noticed her hostility, he made no show of it.
"Sakura-chan… Well… I, um…"
Naruto's cheeks quickly became redder and redder.
"I have a rash."
Sakura nodded, staring at him intently while Sasuke watched the situation (Naruto's embarrassment) with amusement.
"Right. Where?"
The blond squirmed again at that point.
"Where's the rash you idiot?"
Naruto was too busy being mortified to get angry.
(Well at least their conversation was safe in Sakura's apartment.)
"The rash… It's um…"
Naruto sighed dejectedly.
"It's on my penis."
When Naruto pulled down his pants, Sakura made a face, her eyebrows shooting up, and Sasuke looked away in disgust.
"Oh dear."
Sakura bit her lip awkwardly.
"You have syphilis."
…
…
…
…
…
Sakura and Shizune exchanged glances before snickering to each other.
"You are all shinobi!"
Tsunade smacked the table in front of her hard with a furious look in her amber eyes.
"You are all being trusted to protect this village!"
The jounin and chuunin population of Konoha had been called to Tsunade's emergency meeting at the sign of a syphilis outbreak among his shinobi. It made sense that if they were going to be in any sort of intimate relationships with people, it would be with people of their own profession who could understand their work.
"How can you be trusted with missions for our village when you cannot even be trusted to have safe sex?!"
Several guilty faces looked away.
Sakura almost choked at the sights.
Naruto's shameful frown.
Ino's nervous twitching.
Kiba's shocked expression.
It was all priceless.
Tsunade gestured for a nurse to come by.
"Now, you will be given a demonstration on how to put a condom on for safe sex."
And while Sakura giggled some more, she caught the eye of Sasuke, who was also forced to be at the meeting—
Oh my god…
She would have blushed on any normal occasion to think about her late night excursions but this was different.
Could I…? Could he? But he's Sasuke… I—
"I guess there's only one upside for the fact that neither of us is getting laid."
With still wide and frightened eyes, Sakura looked up at Shizune who was still snickering a bit.
"I…"
Sakura glanced back at Sasuke one last time before smiling back at Shizune.
"Right!"
Oh crap…
…
…
…
…
…
"W—What are you doing in the line? You don't need to be in this line! Or well, not because of me anyways…"
"Then why are you in the line?"
"Well… Well I thought… Um… You!"
"I do not have syphilis."
"Well neither do I!"
"Good!"
"Fine!"
As their yelling died down Sakura shifted from one foot to the other awkwardly, chewing on her lower lip.
"I, um…"
She shrugged.
"You'd tell me though, if I had to be tested, right?"
Sasuke raised an eyebrow at her.
"I mean, if you had syphilis, which I realize you don't, but if you did… Well you'd tell me, right?"
As she continued to babble and make hand gestures, Sasuke sighed and grabbed her wrists.
"When would I have the time to get syphilis?"
He rolled his eyes.
"When would I have the time to sleep with someone else?"
Sakura gaped at him.
"You slept with someone else?!"
"No."
He groaned and Sakura shifted again.
"I'm just asking," she began. "If I needed to be tested, you would tell me, right?"
Sasuke frowned in annoyance.
"You realize that we're practically a condom ad with how much we—"
Sakura's eyes widened and she ripped her wrists out of his grip, waving her arms around all over again.
"OKAY! THAT'S ENOUGH!"
He smirked and then began to drag her away from the testing line so that they could leave since it wasn't like either of them needed to be there.
"But maybe we should set some rules," Sakura suggested when they finally made it outside of the hospital.
She began to shift once more.
"Maybe… I don't know, we can become exclusive, you know, just for the sake of being sure we're just… all each other has…?"
That came out horribly… I sound like I'm proposing to him!
Sasuke shrugged, surprising her a bit.
"Rules…"
He nodded.
"Rules sound good."
Sakura stepped forward and then glanced back at her new boyfriend.
(They were no longer just friends with benefits or bed buddies or sexy friends.)
She smiled prettily, and then stuck her arm out, gesturing for him to take her hand.
He did.
They walked away together.
…
…
…
…
…
"By the way, we have no more condoms left, Sasuke-kun."
"…?!"
"Relax, jeez. We just have to pick some up."
"We should get—"
"We are not getting the glow in the dark ones."
"…Fine."
-