Disclaimer: Don't own anything except new characters!
Juliet
Chapter 5
The Snap
A week went by, and Juliet didn't see Dallas at all. He wasn't at the Curtis house, or even checking in on Johnny. She looked for him around the neighborhood, but he seemed to have all but disappeared. This depressed her, and she had long since stopped denying why. She had feelings for Dallas. She couldn't lie to herself anymore about it. But what confused her the most was that she had thought he had feelings for her, too…but he was no where to be found. Why would you run away from someone you cared about?
That's an easy one, Jules. Because you're scared. And she was scared, too. She'd been running from him since the moment she met him, just not quite as literally. Juliet was more of a mental runner, a defensive runner. Her guard was always up, she hardly ever let it down.
As depressed as she felt because of Dallas' absence, she felt even worse about Mark. The way his face fell when she refused to hang out with him…how she'd been avoiding his looks whenever she saw him on the street for the past week…Okay, maybe I don't feel worse…but I definitely do feel bad about that. She smiled to herself at that thought.
She sighed, put down the book she'd been trying to read all afternoon, and rolled over on her bed, so she was lying on her back. She stared at the cracks and water damage spots on the ceiling, and saw his face. The spots were his eyes, his cold and dark eyes. The cracks, the hard lines of his nose and jaw. She let out a frustrated groan and sat up, throwing her legs over the side of her bed as she did so. Putting her head into her hands, she leaned over, trying to clear her head of all thoughts of Dallas Winston. Get out of my head!
She gave up after a minute, realizing quickly that her mental version of him was just as stubborn as he was in reality. She stood, stretched, and headed downstairs. She paused for a moment, listening for her mother or Steve. Hearing silence, she opened the front door and went outside.
It was cloudy and humid. Late July weather always sucks. She reached the gate and hopped over it without so much as a pause, and started walking in the opposite direction of the Curtis'. She didn't feel like pretending she was in a good mood today. Today, she wanted to be alone. She wanted to wallow and mope in solitude.
She glanced at the houses as she passed, noticing the dirty windows and broken stair railings. She paused in front of a brown, particularly unkempt one-story house, thinking about how pretty it would be with a new coat of paint and some flowers under the windows.
Suddenly, the front door opened and Johnny stumbled out. Before the door slammed shut she heard a deep voice shouting obscenities. Juliet's eyes widened as she waited for Johnny to notice her standing there. When he finally did, he gave her a small smile and headed over to her.
"How you doing, Julie?"
She shrugged and said, "I'm alright. How are you, Johnnycakes?" She smiled.
He returned her grin and replied, "I'm doing okay. Just living." She nodded in agreement. He continued, "What're doing?"
"Just walking. Trying to clear my head."
"Thinking about Dallas, huh?"
Her eyes widened and she stepped back. She stammered, "I—uh—what are you—no, I—why would you even—that's completely—"
"Jules, calm down. I ain't gon' tell nobody."
She finally found her words and replied, "There ain't nothing to tell, Johnny." He stared at her knowingly as she tried to hide her blush. She gave up and said, "Is it that obvious?"
"Hell yeah."
She groaned and put her hands to her temples, "Crap!"
"Relax, Julie. It's probably just obvious to me. I listen a lot more than everyone else."
"So you can tell that I like him?" He nodded. She continued, "And you can tell that he likes me?" He nodded again. "How can you be sure? Dallas is so rude and quiet around everyone, when he's even around."
"Not many people really understand Dally. He's…he's pretty deep into his own shell. Hell, it's the only way he knows how to survive. But if you knew him like I know him, you'd be able to see behind that front he puts up. My guess is, you know there's something more to him, or you wouldn't give a damn about him."
She nodded and considered this, feeling pretty happy that someone else thought he cared about her, too. She asked, "Do you know where he's been this week? I haven't seen him anywhere."
"I think he borrowed Tim's car and took off somewhere. He stopped by here on his way out, said he just needed out for a few days."
Her happiness fell a little. "When is coming back?"
Johnny shrugged before answering, "Probably won't be too much longer. He doesn't usually stay away for more than a week or so. Glory knows he's got to check in on me." He smiled and let out a short laugh. Juliet smiled, too, feeling hopeful that he'd be back soon.
"One more question, Johnny."
"Shoot."
"Do you think he'd ever let me in?"
Johnny thought before answering, "Well, as far as I know, he's never even really cared about any girl he's ever dated."
"Oh…" Her eyes fell to the sidewalk.
"But…I know he cares about you already."
Juliet looked up and saw sincerity in Johnny's eyes and gave him a small smile. She reached out and wrapped her arms around Johnny's neck. He hugged her back as she whispered, "Thanks, Johnnycakes."
Dallas stared at the road ahead, gripping the steering wheel tightly. Forget about her, man. She doesn't matter. You don't need any woman in your life. He shook his head and took his foot off of the accelerator, letting the car slow a little. It had been a week since he'd borrowed Tim Shepard's car and peeled out of Tulsa down the 44, heading to Oklahoma City. There hadn't been much there to see, and he had no reason to be there. He'd just needed to drive and get away from the greasers, the gang, the parties…and one certain blue-eyed female. However, as hard as he'd tried, he hadn't been able to get her off of his mind.
Now, Dallas was back on the 44, headed back to Tulsa. He'd been away for too long, and he had to check on things. And he had to see her. He had to talk to her, tell her he couldn't be friends with her anymore.
Juliet lay across her bed, reading another of her favorite classic novels, The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald. She was at the part where Mrs. Wilson gets hit by the car, when a flash of light lit up her dimly lit room and a roll of thunder boomed outside. Juliet jumped and let out a small cry. Closing the book, she got up and went over to the window. It was pouring rain outside. She couldn't even see the house across the street. Guess those clouds meant business… She sighed and looked out at the rain, wishing she could see Dallas Winston walking by.
(A/N: I usually hate author notes in the middle of a chapter, but I didn't want anyone getting confused while reading. The following is a conversation Juliet is having in her head with herself. Kind of like an argument with that sensible side that everyone has in them.)
Why do you care so much, Julie? What redeeming thing has he ever done for you?
He hasn't done anything redeeming or particularly amazing. He just…
Just…?
He makes me feel…I don't know, different. I get nervous and excited and warm. I get butterflies in my stomach whenever he looks at me.
Butterflies? You're willing to put your guard down and expose your vulnerability to some butterflies? Do you know how crazy that sounds?
But…why is it so crazy?
You know what happens when you let yourself fall freely into something you don't know is going to catch you. You end up hurt. And Dallas Winston seems like the perfect candidate for someone who will break your heart and walk away. Is that what you want?
Of course I don't want that. But am I going to run away from everything for my entire life? Should I really live my life so sheltered?
It's the only way to stay on solid ground. It's the only foolproof method to not getting hurt.
Life is like football. There are the players, who are out there playing the game and having fun and learning how to be better. They know they could get hurt, but they play on anyway. Then there are the spectators who stand in the crowd. They are perfectly happy living their life behind the fence, watching and cheering on those who play. And then there's the players on the sidelines. They want to be in the action, but they don't know if they're good enough or strong enough. They're waiting for a sure thing…but there is no such thing as a sure thing, and so they'll always be stuck there…waiting…wishing for something more. I don't think I want to be on the sidelines anymore.
And if you jump into that game of life, and the other team wins?
It's just a risk you have to be willing to take.
Are you?
Juliet turned away from the window, unsure of how to answer her own question. Was she willing to take the leap? She sighed and started back over to her bed to continue reading. No sooner had she laid down and opened the book, when her light started flickering. She looked it for a moment, willing it to stay lit. Please, electricity. Don't go out now! And then, the lights went black. Juliet groaned and said aloud, "Great. Just great."
She stood up again and glanced out the window. The whole street was dark. She stumbled her way to the door and went out into the hallway, calling, "Mom? Steve?"
She heard a muffled reply from Steve's room, and then his bedroom door opened. Juliet couldn't see him, but she could tell he was standing there. She said, "So, the powers out."
"Oh, is it? I hadn't noticed." She could hear the smile in his voice.
Juliet called out again, "Ma?" From downstairs she heard, "I'm alright. I'm just looking for some candles."
Juliet called back, "We'll come help." She started slowly towards the stairs, hearing Steve's footsteps behind her.
By the time they reached the bottom, Alexandra was coming out of the kitchen, a glowing candle in her hand. She smiled and asked, "You kids alright?"
"Yeah, we're good."
Steve replied, opening the front door to look outside, "This storm is pretty bad."
Suddenly a flash of light lit up the street and house, and another crack of thunder sounded.
Juliet moved to stand beside Steve and said, "Yeah, it definitely doesn't look pretty outside. I'll bet the lots going to be flooded." Steve nodded and headed to the kitchen with their mom, mumbling something about finding some flashlights. Juliet stayed at the open door. She was staring in the direction of the lot when she saw headlights heading down the street. She rolled her eyes and said, "Who would be crazy enough to drive in this storm?" The car the headlights belonged to then stopped in front of their house. The lights shone brightly onto the hood of Juliet's own car. She cocked her head to the side and waited to see what the occupant of the car would do.
She saw a brief light and heard a car door slam shut. A dark shape was walking around the car and onto the sidewalk, then opening the gate and walking quickly up the path. She went out onto the porch, careful to stay under the covered portion, as the person stomped up the porch steps. She could tell it was a man, but she couldn't see his face because it was so dark. She could hear him panting, trying to catch his breath. Juliet reached behind her and put a hand on the door knob of the front door, ready to dash inside if need be. She asked, "Can I help you?" Before he could answer, there was a flash of lightening and another thunder crack, and Juliet saw clear as day the dripping, wide-eyed face of Dallas Winston.
Juliet gasped and cried out, "Dallas! What are you doing here?"
"I came to see you."
"In the middle of a storm? Are you crazy?"
"Maybe I am. I just had to come talk to you."
"About?"
There was another flash of lightening, and Juliet could see him shaking his head. He said quietly, "I don't even know anymore."
"Dallas…are you okay?"
Dallas practically yelled, "No! I'm not okay! I haven't been okay since the first day you got here!"
Juliet was silent, she didn't know what to say. Finally she said quietly, "I'm sorry."
"Sorry? What are you sorry for?"
"For apparently making your life suck."
"You don't make my life suck, Juliet. I make my life suck."
"Then why haven't you been okay since I got here?"
Her eyes had adjusted, and she could see him a little more clearly now. His head was pointed at the ground, and he was obviously frustrated. Static electricity wasn't the only thing making the air around her feel tense. She asked again, "Well?"
"I have never once thought about a girl the way I think about you. You're always on my mind, your smile, your eyes, your laugh. You have a great laugh, you know that?" He laughed shortly and continued, "I have always been the stone cold wall. No one gets in, nothing comes out. And here I am, cracking up and going insane because of you!"
"Insane? That sounds kind of bad…"
He continued as if she hadn't spoken, "And the craziest part of it all is that I like it! I like this feeling of being insane over you! I actually am craving to see your brightest smile, to stare into your amazing eyes, to hear your gorgeous laugh, and to hold you in my arms and never let you go!"
"Dallas, I—"
"I came here to tell you that I don't think we can be friends, because I just can't take it. I can't stand by and keep wishing and wanting things I can't have. You know, I drove all the way to Oklahoma City and walked around for days. I saw tons of girls who gave me second glances that I knew I could have if I wanted to. But I just didn't care. I just wanted to come back to Tulsa and see you!"
"I'm confused. You don't want to be my friend, and you can't stop thinking about me?"
He ignored her again and continued, "On the drive back here, I planned out all of the things I would say to you. I was going to explain why we couldn't be friends and all about how I hate wanting something I can't have. And then it hit me."
"What?"
"Why can't I have you? What's stopping me? That idiot from the lot? My own ridiculous need to be unattached and without commitment? Because I don't think you feel the same?"
"I don't know—"
He cried out, "Exactly! I don't know!"
"Dallas, you're not making any sense. Why don't you come inside. It's pouring rain."
"I had everything planned out, Juliet. I had rehearsed it a million times. And then I saw you standing here in a flash of lightening and…it all went away." He took a few steps towards her, "I can't be friends with you anymore, Juliet." By now he was standing a few inches from her. Juliet could feel the warmth from his breath on her face. She looked up, trying to find his eyes in the darkness. Raindrops fell from his hair onto her face as he whispered, "But I can't stay away."
He reached out and took her face between his hands and leaned down, placing his lips on hers.
A/N: Is it mean to end like this? I don't care, it's how I'm ending it.
Note #1: So, I hope I didn't confuse you with my thought battle in the middle there, or with any of the thoughts in the beginning. I don't know if anyone's getting lost with my changes from regular to italics, and doesn't get that the italics are direct thoughts, so I thought I'd mention it. It's just kind of how I write. If it's too confusing, I'll consider changing my ways.
Note #2: Finally, we have some Johnny action. As I mentioned in the beginning, I'm a die-hard Johnny Cade fan. My ending of The Outsiders has him making a full recovery…and then falling in love with me, haha. So anyway, hope you liked that.
Note #3: I debated for awhile putting some Dallas POV into this chapter, and decided to give you a taste of what was coming. I didn't want to spoil the ending though, so I tried not to give too much away.
Note #4: If all of Dallas' speech there at the end sounds really confusing and messed up, that's because it's supposed to. This was his breaking point (hence the chapter title 'The Snap'. He basically lost it, and so I wanted to convey that. Hope my point was made.
Note #5: Thank you so much to my reviewers and favorite-story-adders! You give me inspiration and motivation to continue! So, please keep reviewing. If you haven't already done so at any point, PLEASE DO SO NOW! Feedback is ALWAYS appreciated and taken into consideration. I want everyone to leave this story satisfied, so if there's something you're not happy with or want to happen, please let me know. If I like it and it fits in with my plans, I'll consider adding it!
Anyway, that's it! Hope you enjoyed it!
Love Always,
DC
