I won't say goodbye
Disclaimer: This FanFic is based on the Twilight Saga, which I do not own it is all the work of Stephanie Meyer.
Overview: Bella and Edward are in love, they are both seventeen years old and humans living in Phoenix. One night Edward disappears and both have to come to terms with what they have lost. Where is Edward? What happened to him? Will they ever find each other again?
Chapter 1 Missing
Bella's POV
I lay on my bed crying. Edward had been missing for over a week, no one had any clue to where he was. Even the police were starting to get worried now. At first they had thought it was just another teenage runaway that would turn up, drunk a couple of days later. But as time went by, worry for the boy's welfare heightened. I knew from the beginning that something was wrong. Edward wasn't the sort of boy, who would just take off, and I knew he wouldn't have left without telling me where he was going.
We were only 17 but irrevocably in love. We knew we were meant to be together from the moment we laid eyes on each other. Edward was the only person that had ever fully understood me. We were inseparable; we spent every minute of every day together. At our Phoenix high school we kept to ourselves, no one else ever seemed to be quite on the same page. We liked it this way, neither of us liked to be the centre of attention, our relationship worked perfectly until last Friday night.
I remember everything that happened that evening, how could I forget. It was the night my world was turned upside down, the night I lost the most important person in my life. Edward had walked me home from school, and we had the house to ourselves for a couple of hours before my mum came home. We sat cuddled up on the sofa watching Romeo and Juliette, and had then gone upstairs to my bedroom. Edward lay on my bed, with me cuddled against his chest. His fingers ran through my hair, everything was perfect.
Edward stayed late that night and my mum had offered him a lift home, which he politely declined despite my mum's persistence. He kissed me goodnight at the door. I remember the last things he said to me. "I'll be back tomorrow, I promise. I love you Bella"he then turned away and walked into the night. That was the last time I saw him, the last time I heard his voice. The last time I felt his smooth skin against mine. I was the last person to see him, the last person to speak to him. He was gone.
When he never showed up the next day, I rang his mums' house. She hadn't seen him either. He never made it home last night. I knew something was wrong immediately, I rang the police and reported him missing, they said to wait 48 hours and then call back if he still hadn't come home. I tried to explain that Edward wasn't like that and that something must be wrong, but they didn't listen. So I went out looking for him myself. In fact I searched every day, all day for 4 days in a row. But there was no sign of him.
I spent the rest of my time crying, and replaying that nights events, trying to find anything that would give me a clue to where he was. Finally the police had come around and got statements, they had also appealed on the local news and were searching everywhere for Edward, my Edward. I felt incomplete without him, when I tried to sleep my head filled with images of Edward hurt, and alone. My nightmares were just as bad if not worse. My life had fallen apart, I was sick with worry, the perfect world I was living in before had just been blown apart. A hole now lingered in my life, the heart of my universe was missing.
Edwards' POV
It was late on Friday night and time to go home, as much as I would have liked to stay with my Bella, I was sure Renee wouldn't allow it. Bella's mum offered me a lift home, however I didn't accept. There was no need for her to go out of her way to take me home, when I could walk. I made my way to the door and said goodbye to Bella. I hated saying goodbye to her, even if I would see her again in a couple of hours. The hours apart from her were the longest in my life. I loved her more than I could express to her with words. She was a part of me, like a vital organ. I couldn't work without her, she was essential for my survival. She was my reason to live.
I turned and started to make my way home, it was dark, only the neon signs from the shops lit up the street. It was late and the pavements were full of drunks staggering from club to club. Most ignored me as I walked past them, a few called out, but I kept my head down and continued walking. I reached the end of the main street and turned left up a small moonlit pathway. People were scarce down this way, probably because it only led to a couple of houses; there were no pubs or shops down this route.
I had walked almost halfway to my house when I became aware that a group of young men were close behind. I could hear their footsteps getting gradually louder, until they were so close I could hear them breathe. I turned to see their faces. There were three of them, they must have been about nineteen, twenty, they were muscular and each was carrying a black bag. Something told me that they were trouble.
Before I could run. The tallest one grabbed the back of my shirt and threw me to the ground. "What do you want?" I shouted "I'll give you everything I have" I said emptying out my pockets. The man grabbed the 20 dollar bill from my hand, the mobile phone and the iPod I had in my ears. "Where's the rest of it?" the second thug spat in my face. "That's all I have on me". I replied honestly, trying to pull myself free from the largest one's hold. The second man grabbed me around my chin, and sneered. "What a shame, if that's all you've got I'm afraid we can't just let you walk away". He drew out a knife from his pocket. The blade shone in the moonlight. "Please, please don't hurt me, my girlfriend, please I love her, she needs me" I cried hoping they had a conscience.
They didn't. The man with the blade lunged forward, plunging the knife into my stomach. It was a strange sensation. All the air was knocked out of me, then I felt cold. I looked down and could see blood, pouring from my abdomen. The man was coming for me again I kicked out at him, but I couldn't take on all three. The other two started to hit me. I felt every blow. Then the man with the knife struck again. I couldn't take anymore. I lay on the ground bleeding to death. This was it, I was going to die I thought. I didn't even get to say goodbye properly I cried. The abuse stopped and the night was once again quiet, but it was too late. I closed my eyes, and remembered all the times I had, had with Bella. My beautiful Bella.
That's when I heard a voice. I managed to open my eyes. Stood before me was a man, the most beautiful man I had ever seen. He was pale, extremely pale, and had an air of calm about him. "Am I dead?" I asked looking around. "No not yet, but don't worry I'm going to help you my name is Carlisle Cullen, he said ripping off my shirt and using it to hold against my wounds. You will be in pain for sometime but it's the only way you can survive" the man explained. "I'm Edward" I breathed quietly.
The man named Carlisle leaned over my body and put his mouth to my neck. What was he doing? I panicked. Carlisle placed a hand on my chest to calm me. That's when he bit. He sunk his teeth into my bloodstream, my muscles tensed. I could see Carlisle's face, I could see the concentration, my eyes rolled into the back of my head, and Carlisle released his mouth. He looked exhausted, but came back to me and held my hand.
Suddenly pain ripped through my body. It was like a fire was burning my insides. I cried out in pain and I felt Carlisle grip my hand tighter. The pain worsened as it made it's way up my body. Carlisle offered words of comfort as I writhed on the ground and begged for death and an end to the pain. What had this man done to me? After what seemed an eternity the burning reached my heart. It was the most excruciating and agonizing pain. I could feel my heart beat faster and faster, then gradually it slowed down until, it stopped beating altogether.
Was I finally dead? The pain had ceased, I opened my eyes. Sat before me was Carlisle still holding my bloodstained shirt. I was in the same place I was when the pain started. Yet it was daytime and everything seemed clearer. I didn't feel the need to breathe anymore, and I had a strange burning sensation in my throat. "Don't worry, I know everything seems strange now, I have turned you into a Vampire Edward, I will explain more when I get you home". Carlisle said holding my shoulders. I was in disbelief, I shook my head. "First you need to hunt, you must be hungry" Carlisle said moving me towards the nearby Joshua trees. He dug a hole in the ground and laid my shirt in it, before covering it back over. I found that I could move quickly and more gracefully than before. The burning in my throat must be hunger, I thought to myself.
Carlisle walked further into the many desert trees and then up the mountains. Carlisle listened for the sound of life, it didn't take long. In a matter of minutes he found a mountain lion. My instincts immediately took over, I could hear the lions heart pump blood around it's veins. My throat burned more. Without even thinking I pounced and bit on the lion's neck. I fed and slowly the burning in my throat decreased, however even when I had drained all the animals blood, I wasn't fully satisfied. I now accepted that what I had become was true. What I had just done was proof for me.
Carlisle and I were making our way out of the desert, when suddenly "he must be so confused, I wonder whether I should explain everything now or wait till I get back home to the others. I won't be able to travel by plane; he's a newborn it's not safe, we'll have to run."it was the strangest thing, It seemed like I was listening to Carlisle's thoughts. "Don't worry, I said I don't mind running, but where about are we heading? It's just there will be people waiting for me." I asked. Carlisle looked at me puzzled at first. "D-did you just hear what I was thinking?" he said coming to a halt. "Um yes, I think so sorry I didn't mean to, It's never happened before, can't you as well I mean you're a vampire too aren't you" I answered worried he might be offended.
Carlisle shook his head "that must be your gift Edward, a special quality. Not all vampires have one but I do know others, it seems you do to. I will try to explain later when we arrive in Forks, Washington. It will make more sense if we sit down and talk then. You will be able to meet the rest of my family". Carlisle finished. Suddenly I was panicking "What do you mean we are going to Forks? That's miles away, I can't, I can't leave Bella and my mum." I said quickly. "Edward I know it's difficult, but you can't go back, they can't know what you are. You will have to start a new life. They will notice you are different, and you're a newborn it's too dangerous.
I wanted to turn around and go back right there and then. I couldn't live without Bella. But I didn't want to put her in danger, or hurt her. This was what held me back. I had been saved from death, but I had lost everything in my old life. Carlisle had said I would have to start again. Depressed and distraught I turned to face Carlisle; we both nodded our heads at each other before setting off, at great pace. I was a lot faster than before, faster than Carlisle, I had to slow down as I didn't know the way. I understood now how we could run a long way. Not only were we fast but I never tired, I never got out of breath because I didn't need to breathe.
Bella's POV
Still no Edward, it had been a month. The police were very worried about him now, so was everyone else. At school people suddenly started taking notice of me. They would say how sorry they were and how they hoped he would be found. I didn't take much notice of them though. In fact I didn't pay attention to anyone anymore; I just kept thinking of Edward, I couldn't help myself. I loved him and he was gone. My mum was struggling with me; she thought I was going to make myself ill so had taken me to the doctor, who had said I was grieving. My mum said I should move on now, but I couldn't she didn't understand no one did.
Sometimes I was angry he had disappeared. How could he just leave without saying? Why didn't he come back? Didn't he really love me? Other times I was upset. Why had he been taken away from me? Would I ever see him again? They were all questions I couldn't answer myself. I needed Edward back so I could live again.
The month that had just gone by, had been the longest month in my 17 years. I spent my time waiting for news, but there was nothing. He had just simply disappeared, without a trace. The police had no leads, they had found nothing. No one else remembered seeing him walk home, as most were drunk at the time, so nobody even knew which way he had headed that Friday night. I kept replaying everything in my head, wishing I had made Edward take the lift home, or going round to his after school instead of insisting to go to mine. But it was no good it didn't change anything.
Edwards POV
Finally we stopped running. I looked around and took in my surroundings. In the middle of a forest was a house. A modern, clean and light looking house. Carlisle took me to the front door and showed me in. We were immediately welcomed by 5 other people, all beautiful pale, perfectly formed, they were vampires too. They all greeted Carlisle. I could hear their thoughts as they stood looking shocked and curiously at me. Who's he? Carlisle didn't mention he was bringing someone back with him? He's a newborn, I can tell by his eyes. I wonder whether he's staying. I heard each vampire's thoughts in turn. This must be the boy I saw in my vision. The small pixie like girl with spiky brown hair wondered. Visions that was unusual I thought to myself, then I remembered what Carlisle had said about some vampires having extra talents.
Carlisle introduced me to the others. Esme was his wife she was very loving and gave me a hug. Emmet was the large muscular vampire with a mischievous grin on his face, Rosalie was the pretty blonde the one who seemed reluctant to greet me. Jasper was tall with curly blonde hair. When he shook my hand I felt a rush of calmness wash over me. Then I was introduced to Alice the small vampire who had mentioned visions. She beamed at me and gave me a hug.
Carlisle explained that I would be staying with them, that I was part of their family now. He explained the circumstances which he changed me, to the other Cullens. How he was hunting after visiting an old friend, when he stumbled across me lying in the pavement. I listened intently as he told the story as I had been in a pretty bad state when he found me, I couldn't remember details myself. When Carlisle had finished he looked straight into my eyes and said "I'm sorry, if this is not what you wanted, but I couldn't bring myself to leave you there dying". I shook my head "no without you I would be dead, and even though I have lost everything from my old life, I am grateful to you for saving me as at least my Bella won't have to find my body." I told Carlisle, truthfully.
Carlisle and the others explained that they were vegetarian vampires and only drank animal blood. This pleased me slightly, I had been worried about becoming a complete monster. Jasper explained that as a newborn it would be difficult to stop myself from biting anything that breathes, but as time goes on it becomes easier. We spent the afternoon all together, I gradually got to know them better, I felt comfortable with them, and they made me feel welcome. Emmet told me about staying out of the sunlight, not sleeping, being strong and very fast. I could tell we were going to get along well.
"Is there anything else you would like to ask?" Carlisle asked me. "um just one thing, earlier you said about some vampires having extra skills, um could you explain more please?". Carlisle smiled and Alice moved to the edge of her seat and beamed at me. "Of course Edward, well some vampires seem to bring personal traits from their human life with them, however they become enhanced. For example Alice can see the future, however her visions are subjective and can change. Jasper can control emotions, he was a natural leader in his human life and could get people to do what he wanted. Now you can hear people's thoughts I understand, maybe you cared about what people were thinking and liked to read people when you were human, am I right?" Carlisle stopped. "Yes" I nodded back.
When Carlisle had mentioned I could read people's thoughts, the atmosphere in the room changed. Suddenly I could hear the others in my head again. I tried to tune them out it didn't seem right to be able to hear what they thought. Carlisle then told me how Emmet was very strong, Rosalie was very beautiful even for a vampire, Esme was passionate. Alice added that Carlisle was very Compassionate as he was a doctor and managed to help humans even though he was a vampire.
Gradually people left the room, until only Carlisle and I were left. "I'll show you to your room if you like" Carlisle said getting out of his seat. I followed him upstairs. He opened the door to a room. It was amazing. The décor was modern and light. One side of the room was glass windows, as Carlisle moved into the light his skin changed. It started to sparkle, it was though he was covered in diamonds, however his skin was still smooth and hard. I couldn't believe my eyes Emmet had mentioned sunlight earlier but I never imagined this. I moved myself next to Carlisle and my skin also changed. It matched Carlisle's.
"Thank you" I said as I got over the shock, and took in the rest of the room. There was a lot of shelf space and a TV on the wall. A cream sofa sat in the middle of the room, which I went to sit on. "My pleasure, just one thing, about Bella I know you love her, but you can't have any contact with her anymore, it's too dangerous for both you and her. There are laws even in the vampire world. She has to become your past, you will both have to move on." This hurt, I knew Carlisle was right but I couldn't imagine never seeing Bella again my Bella. I was missing her already. I agreed that I wouldn't go looking for her and Carlisle left me in the room.
I sat and thought things through, trying to take it all in. But it was too much. I wanted to cry but no physical tears ever showed. It wasn't long before there was a knock at the door and Alice and Emmet came bursting in. They sat down either side of me. Emmet wanted to take me out hunting. Alice was interested in my thought reading, but I wasn't in the mood. So Alice asked what my interests were. I told her, music, piano. She smiled and said "I know something that will cheer you up." she could see the pain in my eyes. Alice leapt up and grabbed my hand. She danced downstairs with me in tow and Emmet close behind.
Alice led me into a room it was large and empty except for a grand piano in one of the corners. It was beautiful, the most exquisite instrument I had ever touched before. I lifted the lid to the keys. It was beautifully polished and in perfect condition. Alice smiled as she saw my face light up. She urged me to sit down and play. I took the offer. As my hands moved over the keys, I forgot everything. I was in heaven and Bella was sat next to me. Only when I finished and looked up, I remembered everything. The room was now occupied by every one of the Cullens. Esme ran and hugged me "it was beautiful" she gushed.
Bella's POV
My life wasn't a life anymore. That part of me was gone, it had disappeared along with the one I loved. There wasn't a second in the day when I didn't think about him, Edward Masen. It had been 5 months since that Friday night when everything had changed. But I still had hope. Every day was a struggle but I clung to the fact that Edward might still come back. People at school had moved on, even Edward's own mother was getting on with life (then again that didn't surprise me, she had never been a good mother to him), I was the only person that seemed to truly care.
It had been another normal day, I had been to school, come home and gone straight to my room. Until I heard a knock at the door, I didn't think anything of it until my mum peeped round my bedroom door. "Honey it's the police, they have something to tell you, is it ok if they come in?" I could see the worry in my mothers eyes. I sat up and nodded. Two policemen entered, I had met them both before, they were in charge of Edwards' case. I could see the solemn look on their faces and I knew the news was bad.
One of them began to talk. "Bella, I know this is going to be difficult to hear, but we found a knife hidden in some bushes, along one of the routes Edward may have used to get home the night he went missing. I'm afraid the knife was covered in blood and when tested it matched Edward's DNA. I'm afraid Bella, that now we are more than likely looking for a body. We fear Edward may have been murdered". The last few words' rung in my ears. I grabbed my hair and rocked backwards and forwards on my bed. I started to scream in pain. "No! not Edward, not my Edward he cant be gone No!" I cried. One of the policemen went to put an arm around me but I pushed him away. I stood up and ran out of the room. My mum was waiting in the hallway. "Baby!" she called as I rushed past her and downstairs. I ran out the door and into the night still crying.
I knew where I was going. I ran the exact route Edward was now known to have taken. I ran through the crowds of people, and to the only bushes there were on the pathway. It was hot even at night, and I had no water with me but that didn't matter, I needed to be near Edward. This area was deserted just like it would have been the night Edward disappeared. I searched for any sign of him being here, but nothing. I sat myself in one of the bushes and talked. I stopped crying and spoke to Edward, it was the only place I could link him too now and I was clinging to it.
I sat there all night, mainly because I fell asleep. When I woke I heard sirens and then my mum. It was sighs of relief. "Bella baby, don't you ever do that to me again, I was so worried about you". She pulled me up out of the bush and I could see the tears of joy in her eyes. I just looked back at Renee, I couldn't bring myself to say anything, not even sorry. The police had obviously been looking for me as well as, I could hear one of them talking on the radio saying they had got me.
One of the police handed me a bottle of water, which I gladly took. My mum put her arm around me and was just about to lead me to the police car when from the corner of my eye I saw a glimpse of red. It wasn't a bright red, more of a maroon. I don't know what made me turn but it caught my attention. When I looked again, I could see it was a bit of cloth sticking partly out of the ground. I couldn't just walk away and leave it. I had to check it out. As I moved closer the wind picked up and a dirt devil formed in front of me. It picked up the dirt around the cloth and gradually more and more of the material was revealed.
My mum called for me to come back, but I ignored her. The dust was going in my eyes but I had to get there, I couldn't let the cloth fly away. Something in my mind linked it to Edward. Maybe I was being stupid, but I needed to get to it. The dirt devil picked up the last of the dust covering the material and I could now see what it was. It wasn't meant to be red at all. The dirt devil threw it up into the air. I leapt forward and managed to grab it before falling to the ground scraping my face and knees as I fell. The police and my mum rushed towards me. "Are you ok?, what were you thinking?" mum cried for the second time that morning. I just looked down.
In my hands was the cloth I was so desperate to reach. It was Edwards' grey shirt, except it was bloodstained. It was covered in so much blood that it barely looked grey anymore. I pulled it to my face. I knew it was Edwards' I could still smell him on the shirt, even after 5 long months. It was a smell I would never forget. I looked up to my mum and I could see the horror. All she could see was the blood. Normally that's all I would have seen. I wasn't good with blood but now it didn't matter, all that mattered was Edward.
My brain was still processing things when we got back home. I had wanted to take the shirt with me, but the police were doing DNA tests on it. I had tried to explain I knew it was Edward's because of the smell, but they said it wasn't enough evidence. Only sat at home did I suddenly understand what the shirt probably meant. I made the connection with the blood and knife. It was more evidence that Edward had been attacked, but worse than that he probably was dead. No, one could survive losing that amount of blood without serious help. That made everything more real. Edward was probably gone forever.