Days could have gone by, maybe months. But that's all I know. Things have been going by, just not me. No one has mentioned much about the wedding. Only a few, 'this is going to be great' and a 'oh this is going to be the happiest day', but nothing really close to what everyone was really thinking. Everyone was really thinking of how much time they had with me before I left. How they were planning on trying to live without me.

I couldn't take it anymore. I was hurting them, and I haven't gone anywhere yet. This couldn't be the truth, could it? Could this really be what it all comes down to? A life of pain.

Yes.

This is what I've done to myself. I've injured those around me, and they don't believe I'll stay.

Well they were at least right, I won't stay. They'll forget about me soon enough.

The days I stay here, with them. Aren't the best of days.

"Hey, Bella," Alice said.

"Hey, Alli."

"Bella, what is it that has you so depressed. You know you can tell me anything." She said.

"Well, you're the psychic, you should know." I retorted.

There was a slight pain that masked her face, before she covered it. But I saw.

I sighed.

"I'm sorry, Alli, I didn't mean to be rude."

"No it's ok, I understand." She argued.

I knew it was a lie, but let it go.

"Well what's wrong is the fact that, everyone in this family is hurting. And I'm the cause." I mused.

"Bella, you could never be the cause. We just worry about you its-," I cut her off.

"Don't. Don't try to say it's no big deal, or it's not my fault." I demanded, "It is my fault. This family is falling apart… and because of me."

"You can't blame yourself. None of this is your fault-," I was going to stop her but she continued. "It isn't. It was just something that happened. Nothing could have stopped any of this."

"Maybe this just wasn't meant to be. Did you ever think that? I mean… I kill vampires! I mean. Could this be wrong?" I argued back at her.

She didn't say anything. She couldn't say anything. Because she didn't know the answer. After all these years of knowing, this is the one thing she didn't know. But what makes it worse. Is I could feel the pain, the desperation, of wanting to figure things out. And help me. But she couldn't… no one could.

I thought about the conversation I had had with Alice. Thinking of how I was going to tell everyone that I was leaving, that I wasn't coming back; for their safety.

It was ironic though, how they always thought for my safety. But now I was worried about theirs. There was too much irony in this world; vampires, real; check, shape shifters, real; check, evil killing vampire slayers, real; check. The world is filled with nothing but irony. But could life ever be real? No, I don't think it really could.

This is your life so deal with it, Bella.

By the time I was done arguing with myself, I didn't get a chance to notice that someone had come up behind me. Actually, I didn't even know what room I was in, let alone where I was, and who was there.

"Hello, my Bella." With that, I knew who it was.

I just nodded; I hadn't fully come out of my thoughts just yet.

He sighed, "Bella, sweetie, you can't just sit out here all day. It's going to start raining soon."

And that's when I finally took a look at my surroundings. I was sitting on the big boulder in the backyard of the Cullen's house. The look, to others would have been disturbing. But not if you were able to see all of the colors blending in, the reds the blues, even some orange.

The water shimmered from the now droning sun. The colors of pink giving the sky, a somehow unpleasant feeling, with the tent of pink the sky is a dark gray. Giving it an evil texture, but to me, I think it's….

"Beautiful…" I whisper without notice.

He stares at me in disbelief; he too, thinks this is an ugly sight.

"Bella," he starts. "This really isn't that beautiful."

For some reason that statement makes me mad; because yes, it is an ugly sight, but not in my eyes, he just wouldn't understand the beautiful texture of it all.

"You wouldn't understand." In the end, I didn't mean for it to come out menacing. "You wouldn't be able to understand, how effortlessly all the colors just happen to blend together. How it looks as if the sun is droning into the trees. Or even how amazing it is that there's still that little shade of pink; even though the skies are dark gray!" My voice had risen toward the end of my speech.

He stared at me with complete apologetic eyes. And I couldn't help but feel bad for yelling at him.

"I'm sorry for yelling at you. I don't know what happened… I just… I don't know. I'm just sorry." I stammered.

"It's okay, Bella, I understand. I upset you, and for that, I'm sorry as well." He conjured.

"No, Edward, it's not okay. You didn't do anything wrong. I did, I shouldn't even be alive right now." I paused. Waiting, should I tell him now?

He suddenly looked pained. It was the whole existing card; I didn't even notice that I had pulled it.

"If there is someone who shouldn't be alive, it would be me, not you. Do you understand me?" He demanded.

All I could do was nod, I knew he was wrong. He was the most beautiful creature I have ever seen, I'm not. I shouldn't be alive and I know it, I will have to tell him someday.

After just walking away from Edward and going in the house, he just stayed out there for a while. I went up to our room, opened the closet, and dug around for my box. Edward had no clue that I had anything in here, let alone a box full of everything I needed to leave. To keep them all safe. I had my new passport, a new driver's license, birth certificate, everything, so they couldn't come find me, just another thing that they don't know about me. Before I leave I do hope that I can tell Edward the truth about my past. Or maybe I can't, maybe that would be good enough reason for him to find me. I don't know.

With how everything has been transferring these past few months I don't think I have much of a choice anymore.

After checking to make sure I had absolutely everything that I needed, I headed back downstairs to everyone else. But as I walked I could hear them talking, about me.

"What are we going to do; we can't just let Bella leave. She's scared. Everyone can see that. How she's just been spacing out, like she's taking the longest sleep I've ever seen, it's not natural." I could tell by the voice that it was Alice.

"Well, it's not like we can stop her, she's probably more powerful than the Volturi. I mean, how would we stop her?" A booming voice said; Emmett.

"We can't lose her, I just got her, and I don't feel like giving her up just yet."

Rosalie.

How could I forget about her? We just started things out on a good note; and now I was planning on taking it all away. Not just from her but from everyone. But it has to done; it just has too. This decision could be one of the most horrible of decisions ever made on the face of the planet earth. There's nothing else I would rather do then to just somehow be gone. Be invisible, to never have to worry about rights and wrongs. There's nothing else. The thought of just having to leave all of this behind brings bile in my throat. Days of insanity are soon to come. They wait on the other side of the end. This could be it; for not just me, but everyone.

E(POV)

Ever since Bella left me sitting outside the only thing that I could do was just sit there. It seemed like there was something she wanted to tell me, but she just didn't. It saddened me to no end that she would try and keep something from me. I can only hope that she will tell me whatever it is that was bothering her. Giving up, I walked back inside; everyone was in the living room having a conversation; it seemed to be about Bella. It seems to be that everything has been about Bella lately.

"We have to try and figure out some way to help her. I mean, we can't just let her go without trying." Esme said.

"I really have been trying to see something." Alice said. "But I just can't seem to see anything. It's almost like she jumped off the face of the world. It's like she's deliberately blocking me. It's never happened before with her. That's my only explanation."

"I really don't think there's any use. I mean if she is blocking you then maybe it's because she just wants to be left alone." Emmett said.

"How could you say that, Em," Rosalie said.

"Well, he is right," I interjected.

Everyone turned to stare at me at that moment. No one expected me to say something like that. But it is the truth. Why else would see be so secretive?

"I mean why else would she be so cut off? She's finding out all these strange things about herself; that she never knew about, might I add. It's different and new, you would want the same thing she does right now." I said. "She probably just wants to feel normal again, and the fact that, we ourselves, are vampires and she was destined to slay vampires, is probably also saddening because she considers us her family."

"This is also why we can't just let her go! If she is feeling scared then she would only cause more harm to herself if she does leave." Rosalie responded.

"But we can't just keep her locked up here forever and hope that she comes to an understanding. She's not just something you can hold onto because you're afraid of it disappearing." I explained. "There is nothing more that I want to do but keep Bella safe and in my life; but we also have to realize it's not our decision."

Alice looked at me with a heartbroken expression. "But she's my sister, Edward. I really don't want to lose her; not this way, while she's scared and feels alone."

I sighed. "I know, Alli. But what have to, even though none of us want too."

"He is right." Carlisle said finally. "I think we have let this go on to long. We have been possibly putting her in danger by letting her know our emotions by the fact of her leaving. We have to let her do what she thinks is right."

No one spoke after that; we could all feel the emotion in the room. Remorse, nothing but sad remorse. Nothing could be said or done, there was no clue as to what to do next. The silence of the room could have gone on forever. It could have been hours, days, maybe even months. But the only sound that could be heard was the cry of a beautiful angel; the scream of Bella, my love.

Ok listen, I am so sorry that it has taken me so long to put this up. But with the mix of school and band and dances and just everything that could be; there just wasn't time. But I really hope you like this. And I really did want to make this chapter longer; but I figured I made you all wait long enough. And again I am so sorry. Please don't hate me!