Chapter 2- A new life
Edwards' POV
As time went on I was finding life easier, I still never forgot Bella, but I never would. I was gradually getting used to the hunger and although it was difficult at first, I had now managed to put it to one side, at the back of my mind. Human contact was now bearable, even though now and again I would catch someone's scent, but with the help of the other Cullens I could stop myself from doing anything stupid. At the beginning I had found it very difficult, and when I came across criminals (through mind reading by accident) I couldn't help myself. When I killed one of them I didn't feel so bad at first, it didn't make me feel as much of a monster. In a way I was ridding the world of evil through my own wrongdoing. But as time went by I realised that it made me as bad as them and I stopped. I managed to control my hunger and can now survive on animal blood only.
Carlisle had decided to enrol me at the Forks high school, once I was controllable. I was excited to be doing normal things again, but also nervous. Emmet, Rosalie, Jasper and Alice already attended and they agreed to help me. However I was younger than them so would start off as a junior. I would only see the other Cullens at lunch and break times. Alice had promised Carlisle and Esme that she would keep an eye on me by using her visions.
It was my first day and Emmet had let me drive the silver Volvo for once. Emmet had said it was my little treat. As I went down the road I put my foot down, I had never driven this fast before, but now my eyesight was clearer I found it easier. It made the journey to school fun, yet a lot quicker. We arrived early. Rosalie was complaining that she had already graduated from school at least 20 times and didn't think she could face another year. We waited in the car until other students started to arrive. I could smell each and every one of their scent'.
I got out of the car and made my way to the reception to collect my timetable. The lady behind the desk was very friendly, and I tried to block out her childish thoughts from my head as she spoke. When I walked into my first class everybody looked up and stared. Each and everyone's scent wafted across the classroom as the wind blew through the open window. I could see a few of the girls' pointing at the empty seats next to them. Gesturing for me to sit with them, but I decided it would be safer for me to sit at the table at the back of the room on my own.
I found it difficult to pay attention to the teacher as other people's thoughts kept finding their way into my head. "He's fit", "Wonder if he'd go out with me", "He must be another Cullen". I had found my newly found good looks hard to take in, even though I hadn't exactly been ugly before. But the last comment surprised me the most. Other people obviously noticed the Cullen's were different and when I thought about it a bit more I understood why? The pale faces, good looks and the way we kept ourselves to ourselves.
At lunch I sat at a table with the Cullens, it seemed we were the centre of attention in the canteen. Everyone stared but, no one dared come and sit with us. We were outsiders. Rosalie, Emmet, Jasper and Alice didn't seem to be bothered by everyone else but, their scents were overpowering. I stood up and made my way to my next class. A room with less people was easier.
Day after day I went to school, less people stared now, I was just ignored and people let me get on with what I wanted to. People's thoughts were no longer always directed towards me. I had turned down almost every girl in the school, which had annoyed and disappointed a lot of them, then the boy's didn't seem to like me because I had had female attention and turned it all down. But I liked it this way it made things easier. After all my human life had been much the same way. Me and Bella had never liked to be in the limelight.
Bella's POV
The DNA results on the shirt had come back positive. It was definatly Edwards blood. I had started the grief process all over again this time without any hope. This time as if Edward was dead. It was worse than before. I couldn't talk with out crying so I didn't. I couldn't do anything without Edward. I couldn't even sleep. The nightmares were the worst part. I would dream of Edward leaving me at the door, then every night something terrible would happen to him, each time different, but the outcome was always the same, images of Edward lying dead in my arms covered in blood.
I would scream in my sleep and at first mum would come in to check I was ok. But after a while she stopped. She just accepted it. Renee was worried about me, her daughter had been replaced by some grief stricken zombie. Nothing she or the doctor could do could snap me out of the state I was in. As far as I was concerned, without Edward my life was over as much as his. I had made my decision. I knew the only way I could be with Edward again. I had to do it to be with him.
I went into the bathroom and ran the tap. I locked the bathroom door and got undressed. However I left the locket Edward gave me for a birthday on. I opened it up and looked at the face in the tiny picture staring back at me, smiling. I closed the locket, turned the tap off and stepped into the bath. I lay down with my head out the water and thought things through. It was something I had never agreed with before but it was the only way to be with Edward again. I took the locket from around my neck and placed it in the palm of my right hand.
I took a deep breath and put my head underneath the water. I don't know why I held my breath it just felt like the right thing to do. As I ran out of air, I forced myself to keep my head under. I was panicking and couldn't help but thrash around in the water. Fighting with myself. Drowning was meant to be peaceful. But it was hard and took too long. I had too much time to reason with myself. I couldn't hold my breath any longer, I ordered my brain to let me drown. I let the water rush into my mouth and up my nose. At first the shock of water everywhere was terrifying but then it was quiet.
My heart was pounding in my chest beating faster and faster. I could see Edward, I was reaching towards him, but he was telling me to go back. I was fighting to keep my eyes open. "Bella, Bella what are you doing in there you've been ages Bella? I heard my mum shout. Then nothing darkness. There was no light and no staircase just black, all around everywhere.
Edwards POV
I had managed to create a new life for myself. The only person I missed was Bella. I missed Bella more than anything. But I knew I couldn't go looking for her, for her safety more than mine. But I couldn't help but wonder what she was going through? What had happened after I had disappeared? How was she coping? Had she moved on? They were all questions I wanted answered but knew couldn't be without putting Bella in danger.
School was boring, easy , I had already covered most of this stuff in Phoenix. I now understood why Rosalie complained about having to attend school, and she's done it more than 20 times over. Doing the same three years over and over again. However attending school had also improved my reaction with humans. I could now lead an almost normal life without worrying about blood all the time.
People at Forks high school have started to talk about a new girl enrolling next term. I'm worried I'm going to have to start all over again with a new scent, but Alice assures me it doesn't' work like that, that you just get used to human's as a race. I suppose she's right, as Carlisle meets new people everyday for his job and bleeding ones too.
The new girls' dad is to be the new Chief policeman in town. So everyone is eager to meet them. They have bought a small two bed roomed house on the outskirts of the Forks, and the new chief has been seen furnishing it. Everyone seems to get more excited in Forks about new people as they aren't very common. Whereas in Phoenix it was rare anyone noticed.
Bella's' POV
I opened my eyes. There was an annoying beeping sound in the background and the light in the room hurt. "Ah baby your awake" my mum said stroking my hair. "where am I?" I asked confused. "In hospital, don't you remember?" she asked tears rolling down her usually rosy cheeks. It all came back to me gradually. It took a few minutes before I could piece things together. Great I thought to myself I couldn't even kill myself properly.
"Why, baby, Why did you do it? What were you thinking? I nearly lost you?" Renee spoke. "I'm sorry mum, I-I just couldn't cope anymore, I need Edward and I don't think you understand, no one does. I didn't mean to hurt you, I just can't cope without Edward" I cried into my arms. "How do you think I would cope if I lost you? My mum said slight annoyance in her voice.
"I think you should go and live with your dad for a while, so you can move on. Charlie, I mean your dad has just got a new job as chief policeman in Forks. I think you should stay with him for a while. To get away from Phoenix and the bad memories" mum explained. "No, no mum I don't want to". I cried, I would be even further away from Edward, he was all I could think about. "I'm not taking no for an answer, it's for the best and everything is already arranged, I do love you baby" she finished pulling me into her arms.
It was only now I realised how stupid I had been. To think Edward was the only one to love me. I never thought how it would effect Charlie, and Renee. How much I would have hurt them if I had succeeded. How mum must have felt when she found me. I couldn't help but cry. I had to be strong now, for me and for Edward. I decided that living with Charlie might be a good thing. To get away from Phoenix.
It didn't matter how I felt though. I had no choice I had to go. Charlie had picked me up straight from the hospital and mum had packed my stuff. Charlie was quiet, he didn't talk much, but then neither did I. The flight on the plane was long and dragged out. I could see the change in weather as we made our way to Forks. It was overcast and rainy. Charlie kept looking at me, I felt uncomfortable next to him as we hadn't seen each other in so long.
"I bought you a truck" Charlie said, breaking the silence. "So you can get to school and around the town easier, I got it off an old friend. It's a good car for you". I was surprised I hadn't expected this. "Um thanks" I said trying to sound grateful, because I was, I just struggled with happy emotions at the moment. Charlie drove the rest of the way to our new house. It was small but kind of cosy. My new red Chevy was already parked outside. Charlie was right it was a good car for me. Strong and less likely to be destroyed in an accident.
Charlie let me unpack alone. It was easier this way and I was grateful Charlie had saved me a lecture on the whole suicide thing. However I didn't like the disapproving and worried glances he kept giving me. It made me feel strange. I laid down in my new bed. Tomorrow I would start a new school. I didn't expect much. If I only made one real friend in Phoenix a school of 3000 I was unlikely to make any at a school of only 300 students.
After another disturbed night I woke up. I had breakfast and made my way to school. Charlie had already left for work. I wasn't looking forward to the day ahead, I was sure to be the centre of attention in this small town school. I was the shiny new toy, something that obviously didn't arrive often. When I arrived the parking lot was empty. I knew I was early, I had got here an hour before I needed to on purpose. I wanted to find my classes before everyone else got here to avoid getting lost.
After a quick look around the school I realised I needn't have got here so soon, the school was so small it was difficult not to find my classes, compared to my last school this was tiny. I made my way back to my truck and put the heating on. I sat and waited for the other kids to arrive. It wasn't too long before the first cars started to show. I was pleased to see that my car didn't look too out of place here, all the cars were old that had arrived so far.
I let myself out of my truck and made my way to my first lesson, I had already memorised the way there, however I walked slowly not wanting to be the first in the room. I was aware of everyone staring at me but I tried to ignore it. Things were exactly as I had expected, everyone looking at the new girl, I had obviously been a topic of discussion as my name was whispered a couple of times as I passed.
Suddenly I hoped they didn't know too much why I was here. I hoped they hadn't heard about Edward and my failed suicide attempt. That would be embarrassing to explain. As I walked down the corridor I couldn't help but think how much easier this would be if Edward was by my side. I missed him so much. I had reached the classroom. I stopped at the door and held my breath, before walking inside. Most people were already sat in their seats, but a girl waved at me to sit in the empty chair next to her.
I blushed, no one except Edward had ever wanted much to do with me before, especially girls. But she seemed friendly, if not too enthusiastic. She told me her name was Jessica and asked me whether I wanted to sit with her and her friends at lunch. I politely agreed, though I wasn't paying much attention to her anymore. I sat for an hour listening to Jessica and the teacher ramble on. She asked me about why I had moved here. I decided to tell her a half truth. "Charlie, I mean my dad got offered a job as chief here and I thought it was time for a change, things weren't going too well in Phoenix" I explained. Jessica nodded her head "I had heard something like that, but I wanted to make sure it wasn't just another Forks rumour news travels fast here" she laughed. I was quietly glad that it seemed no one knew the details.
I made my way to the canteen at the end of the lesson, with Jessica by my side. I sat down at a table with all her friends, who seemed amazed at how confident Jessica was with the new girl, but pleased nether the less. Jessica introduced me to each, I remembered some of their names. Eric he was the over helpful boy with dark black hair, then their was Tyler, Lauren and Angela a quiet shy girl. Also Mike a sporty boy with spiky hair. He seemed very chatty and overly friendly.
I sat eating my salad, when five people entered the canteen. I couldn't take my eyes off them. They were all beautifully pale and they glided smoothly across the floor as they walked. I had never seen people this stunning before, it was like a scene from a movie. I managed to turn my head to Angela who had noticed me staring. "Who are they?" I asked turning my head back to look at them. Angela leaned closer to me "oh they're the Cullens beautiful aren't they?" I nodded. "the small brown haired girl that's Alice Cullen, then the tall one with curly blonde hair next to Alice is Jasper Hale their together." she stated. "oh" I wondered out loud "I thought they were related, I mean they look like each other ?".
Angela smiled. "They're adopted by Dr Carlisle Cullen and Esme Cullen. But you're right they are all stunning. The big muscular one is Emmet Cullen and the pretty blond girl next to him is Rosalie Hale, they're also together. Then lastly is Edward Cullen, the one with the reddish brown hair". I quickly turned to look at the boy furthest away, the name Edward still rung in my ears. I nearly fell off my chair as I focused on his face. He looked like my Edward, but it couldn't be could it, he was too pale and why would he be here in Forks, the police had found his blood, it couldn't be him. Could it. I couldn't breathe the boy named Edward was now looking my way, I could see him glaring, his face pained.
"Bella, Bella what's wrong?" Angela and Mike asked together as I leapt up knocking my tray off the table. "I-I don't feel too good, I think I just need some air, don't follow me" I gasped, turning and rushing out of the canteen to my truck. I got inside and started to cry. I gripped my sides. It had looked so much like Edward, his hair, his posture, his face. But it couldn't be I kept telling myself over and over until I had calmed down enough to breathe properly. I waited in my truck for the rest of lunch until the bell rang for lesson.
Edwards POV
I was walking into the canteen with the other Cullens when suddenly I heard Angela thinking. "I knew it wouldn't take Bella long to notice the Cullens, she seems like such a nice girl but quiet, a bit like me I guess". I couldn't help but look over, I hadn't seen this girl yet and the name meant so much to me. I turned my head in Angela's direction and looked at the small girl sat next to her. She was staring right at me. I couldn't believe my eyes I glared trying to see clearer. It was Bella, I knew it was. How could it not be? Her perfect porcelain skin her chocolate brown eyes and hair. It was Bella, I was sure, just by her reaction she had leapt up and disappeared as fast as she could. Alice was looking at me confused she hadn't seen this coming I could tell.
I knew I had to pretend I didn't know Bella, no matter what for her safety. But I couldn't get her out of my head. It pained me to have found her like this. I knew I would have to be cruel to be kind, unless maybe she was in forced denial. I could tell the hurt Bella had already been through, I could see it in her eyes, the way she had looked at me. The ill look on her face, like she was worn out, I could tell she had been searching. But I was curious why wasn't she with her mum in Phoenix?
I made my way to Biology when the bell rang. Alice said she would keep an eye out for me and we would talk to Carlisle about it when we got home. I made my way to my seat. I was the only person sat on their own in this class but I liked it that way, it was easier. I sat thinking things through when Bella walked in through the door. The wind caught her face as she stood by the window and it flicked her hair, suddenly I could smell her scent. It was the nicest most irresistible smell I had ever smelled. I wanted to jump out my seat and bite her then and there, but I managed to stop myself.
Bella stood by the window shock on her face as she forced herself to sit in the only empty seat left. Next to me. She was pale and shaking. Tears were rolling down her cheeks, I wanted to comfort her but I couldn't she smelt too good. I was afraid I wouldn't be able to control my hunger. The burning in my throat was worse than ever. I also knew I couldn't because I was dangerous for her now. I pulled my self as far away from her as possible and held my hand over my nose. I knew she had noticed my rudeness and I could see it hurt her more. It was the worse thing I had ever witnessed. I loved her so much, yet I couldn't run and hold her and tell her I loved her like I wanted to.
That was when I noticed the silence around me it was strange. There was a buzz of thoughts in the background. But nothing from Bella. I tried to tune myself into her head somehow, but I couldn't. She was immune to my skill and I hated it. I wanted to know how she felt to see if I could make her feel at least a little better. But I couldn't.