Chapter 3- deception

Bella's POV

I made my way to Biology I had promised myself not to think about Edward until at least I had left school for the day. I walked through the door of the classroom and scanned around for and empty seat. It was then I noticed Edward sat on a table by himself, it was the only space left. I forced myself next to him. I saw him go rigid in his seat, as he edged away from me and pulled his hand to his nose. I also noticed his fists clenched underneath the table. It looked so like my Edward, the hair, his height, his slender but muscled body and his eyes. Although they were darker they were still his eyes. Beneath the blackness I could see the colour and pain. There was no doubt that this was my Edward.

But why was he so pale? Why was he here in Forks, and how had he survived losing so much blood? Why was he acting so cold to me? It was my Edward I was sure, but he was different. I couldn't help the tears that rolled down my cheek. I wanted to cry out loud and hug him. I wanted to ask him why he left? What had happened? But most of all I wanted to tell him I loved him. But I couldn't bring myself to even speak to him, he was acting so cold, he scared me.

The lesson went slowly and as soon as the bell rang Edward stood up and rushed quickly out the class. I followed shortly after, and made my way to my truck still crying. I sat inside for a while trying to stop the tears from falling. I saw the Cullens leave the parking lot in a shiny silver Volvo, without a glance at me. I was so sure it was Edward though, and I swore he recognised me too, beneath the glare I could see the pain and longing. I managed to stop myself shaking and turned on the engine, to make my way home. I would have to sort myself out before Charlie got back, it wouldn't be fair on him, to be sobbing over him after his long day at work.

When I got home I got to work making dinner. Charlie sat down and ate with me at the table when he got back. He asked me how my day was and I lied my way through his questions. Saying I had lot's of homework to do so I could escape upstairs to my room. Charlie nodded and offered to do the dishes for me. I could tell he felt awkward about everything that had happened, and I was happy he hadn't broached the subject of why I was now living with him. I was ashamed of myself.

I made my way to my room and lay on the bed. I started crying again. I thought about Edward. In my head I planned to confront him tomorrow and demand answers, but I knew in reality I wouldn't have the confidence or composure to follow through with it in the morning. I drifted off to sleep without even realising, until I was in the middle of another of my nightmares.

They were the same as before though this time I found Edward, but he just kept turning away. I woke up screaming. Charlie came bursting in through my bedroom door. Renee obviously forget to tell him about my disrupted sleep. "Bells you ok" he panted, worried. "Yes sorry just a bad dream, it happens a lot I guess mum forgot to mention it to you". I explained still sweating from the scare. He nodded and sighed with relief before returning to his room.

Edwards POV

I didn't know what to do. The other Cullens were worried about me I could tell. Carlisle had suggested leaving Forks, but they all had lives here. I didn't want to take that away from them, but I also didn't want to take away Bella's life either. I had thought about just me leaving but decided against it. Instead I would go hunting instead. I would satisfy myself as much as possible before returning to school. At least Bella could be a bit more safe. I loved her and would do anything for her. So that night I set off with Emmet, hunting we would travel far this time and would be away a couple of days before returning home. It gave me time to think about what was right.

Bella's POV

The next day was both better and worse. Better because the weather was ok and also because less people stared now. But worse because Edward wasn't there. He didn't arrive at school and I noticed that only him and Emmet were missing from the Cullen table at lunch. I couldn't help but feel it had something to do with me when he didn't turn up for the rest of the week.

I spent my time with Jessica, Angela and Mike who was still being too friendly, I had gathered he was after more than friendship but I wasn't interested. There was only one person I wanted and he had gone again. Disappeared just like before. Even though he had been so cold towards me before, what scared me most was Edward not returning.

As the week went by I got less and less responsive. I reverted back to the way I was when I lost Edward before. Charlie had realised something was wrong and had stayed at home with me on the Saturday, instead of going fishing with a new friend. He said he just wanted to spend some quality time with me, but I knew better he just wanted to make sure I didn't do anything stupid like before. We spent the day sat by the TV Charlie watched the baseball, while I sat thinking. It was all I ever seemed to do these days.

On Sunday Charlie felt confident enough to leave me in the house alone. I turned on my computer in my room as soon as Charlie had left. I waited for the slow connection and then checked my emails. There were three new messages all from Renee. "Hey Bell's hope you arrived safely, tell me what the new house is like, are you ok? Email me as soon as you get this . Love from Mum". I sighed and opened the next one "Bella are you ok, you may not like it there but I think it's for the best. Email back. Love Mum". It was typical I could just imagine her sat in front of the computer screen panicking because I hadn't written back in the first day. I opened the third. "Bella Swan, answer this email please. I just want to know you are ok. If you don't reply before 5 I'm ringing Charlie. Mum".

I sat back in my chair and thought a while before typing a reply. "Mum, I'm sorry I didn't email back, it's been the first chance I've had to look at my computer. Everything's fine, me and Charlie are getting on ok and schools, well school. Hope you and Phil are both well. I'll speak soon. Love Bella x." I read it through and then clicked the send button. Hopefully she wouldn't ring now.

Edwards POV

It was time for me and Emmet to return to Forks, I was nervous but also excited to see Bella again. I had decided I could talk to her, but just pretend I didn't know who she was. It would hurt me more than it hurt her that way I hoped. On the Monday morning I drove the silver Volvo to school as usual and was happy to see Bella's truck already parked.

At lunch in the canteen I saw Bella looking at me again. "She's happy, that your back, she was a mess last week" Jasper informed me. This made me feel awful for leaving her again, but happy that I was back. Maybe I had done the right thing. After lunch I made my way to Biology and waited for Bella to arrive.

When she did I could see she was panicking again, so I gave her a small smile as she sat down. Bella looked at me puzzled in return. She still smelled as good as before but this time it was tolerable the hunting worked.

I made my decision to talk to Bella. I turned to face her, but she was already looking at me. She was so beautiful even when she was upset. Again I couldn't hear any of her thoughts and it frustrated me, but I spoke. "Hi my name is Edward Cullen, I didn't get a chance to introduce myself last week" I said. Her face blushed and looked shocked. I suppose she wasn't expecting me to speak. "You're Bella Swan aren't you?" I asked trying not to give myself away.

Bella's POV

He spoke to me was all I could think at first, I could feel my cheeks blushing. Then he said my name. "How did you know, I mean you called me Bella, not Isabella like the others?" I asked my voice slightly cracking. I saw his face frown in concentration. "that is your name?" he asked. It was a question and not a fact. This annoyed me I wanted to scream at him and shout "You know it is!" but I couldn't cause a scene here. So I went along with his little game.

For the rest of the lesson we talked as though we had only just met, he asked why I had moved here? What my father was like and about the weather. however I could see by his pauses and concentrated eyes that he was trying not to give up his real identity. I knew it was him, I just couldn't understand why he was doing this. Didn't he want to know me anymore? I was going to confront him before he left school tonight I was desperate.

Gym passed slowly and I was glad more than ever when It was over. I rushed to the parking lot and was happy to see the Cullens' car still there. I made my decision and stood next to the shiny Volvo. I didn't have to wait long before Edward came strolling towards me. "Edward I need to talk to you in private" I said trying to keep my voice steady. "Um ok, but not too far" he answered pulling me over to the edge of the woodland. His grip was icy cold and it shocked me. His grip was strong and not gentle, but it felt like he was pulling back still. "What do you want?" he asked me.

"I want you to tell me the truth, I know who you are, and you know who I am, What happened Edward? Why did you leave me?" I shouted. Edward looked taken aback and then answered as calmly as before. "I don't know what you are talking about I've only just met you Bella" he said in a slightly patronising tone. "You do, You do know" I cried. "We loved each other, how can you do this, don't you love me anymore" I screamed losing my cool. I could see this hurt him but after a minutes pause he just said "I don't know what you're talking about, I've only just met you" he didn't answer the last part, but turned on his heel and swiftly left, heading back to his car.

It hadn't gone to plan. I had broken down, I had ended up screaming at him, like some crazy woman. He had been quite polite to me and had just walked away. That was what anyone would have done. I just stood watching him return to the others. It hurt more than when I thought he had gone, maybe because he was within reach, but not close enough for me to grab.

Edwards POV

I was sat in the car with the other Cullens. That hurt, I didn't think I would have the strength to leave Bella there. I wanted to tell her the truth and hug her and hold her, comfort her, right there but I couldn't. I was glad I couldn't cry no physical tears at that moment. It was killing me keeping these secrets. I hadn't expected that so soon. I never wanted to see Bella in that state again. It was awful. I decided I would check on her tonight, to make sure she was ok. She would never no I was there.

That night I sat waiting behind some trees near Charlie's house. I watched as Bella and Charlie ate at the table and then watched as Bella left for her room. I waited till all the lights went off in the house and was sure Bella and Charlie were asleep until I climbed the tree in front of Bella's window, which was open. I looked before creeping into her room. It was small, but nice just what I had expected. Bella didn't move as I stood over her. It hurt to be so close to Bella but not be able to pull her in my arms and tell her I loved her.

I sat on Bella's bed, being careful not to wake her. She was quiet at first and barely moved. But after I had been sat there for an hour she started to toss and turn. I got up off the bed, worried she would touch me and feel I was there. I was just about to leave when I heard "Edward". I stopped and turned. It was Bella, at first I was startled I thought she had caught me. But then I realised she was sleep talking. I stood still and watched her again. "Edward, Edward!" she screamed. "Why- leave me?" she sighed through heavy breaths. "Edward, back, Edward" she cried. I wanted to rush forward and hold her. I wanted to tell her I was sorry and everything would be ok. Then the screaming started.

I was shocked this animal sound was coming from her. Bella. It was awful, terrifying. I expected Charlie to come bursting through the door any minute but he didn't. This worried me. It made me come to the conclusion that Bella did this a lot in her sleep. I wanted to grab her tight and never let her go. The screaming continued. It was screams of pain, and loss. She thrashed violently in her bed. I had to squeeze my eyes shut and clench my fists to stop myself from comforting her. Suddenly she jumped and sat bolt upright in the bed. She was staring straight at me. In a flash I moved across the room and to the window.

I hoped I had been quick enough for Bella to think she had just been dreaming. But I hung around outside to make sure. When I knew she was back asleep, I left for home. After seeing Bella in that state I wasn't sure it had done me any good I was hoping, it would make me feel better, but it didn't. Instead it made me feel worse. Even more of a monster than I already was. However I knew I would go back, every night, I couldn't stop myself.

Bella's POV

I woke up early the next morning. I had had a bad night. I had been dreaming of Edward as usual except when I woke up he was still stood there, for only a second but I was sure he was there. By morning I had decided I had still been dreaming. I was going mad I was sure of it. I heaved myself out of bed and got ready for another day at school. I was worried how Edward would react to me today, after my outburst yesterday. Maybe he wouldn't want to talk to me at all anymore.

I drove to school and made my way to Spanish with Jessica. She rambled on as usual, about a dance coming up. She was extremely excited, I however wasn't. Dancing wasn't my thing. I listened to her talk for an hour and then went to my next lesson. I sat alone thinking now. About Edward. Who else. He was all I ever thought about. Until now I told myself. I had come to Forks to move on as best I could. I would never forget Edward but I could still live my own life.

I had decided to try to get over him. It would be difficult but I had to try. I could live my life for Edward, whether he was dead (which I doubted), or whether it was the boy in Biology. If that was the case Edward obviously didn't want me anymore. So I should start again, make new friends, have a life worth living for.

The bell rang for lunch. I got up out my seat and made my way to the canteen. Jessica, Mike, Angela and the others were already sat there.

I went to sit next to Angela, who smiled at me. But I was interrupted by Mike. He came behind me and grabbed my arm. I turned to face him. "Hi" he said. I answered back politely but wriggled free from his grasp. "Do you mind If we talk in private?" he asked. "No" I replied confused. I followed him to the edge of the canteen where it was quieter. "Well I really like you Bella. Already and I want to get to know you better" Mike began stuttering slightly. My cheeks flushed pink as I realised what Mike was asking. "Would you like to go to the ball with me?" he asked quickly.

"No" I said a bit too sharply. Mike looked taken aback and very embarrassed, I immediately felt guilty. "Sorry, I didn't mean it like that. What I meant was that's very kind but dancing's not really my thing. But I would like to get to know you better". I said shyly. Mike nodded his head and said "okay maybe some over time. We could go catch a movie or something." I smiled and agreed before heading back to the table. Mike was nice and everything I just wasn't ready for a relationship. It was too soon and I could never love him like Edward. But I could see us being friends.