I won't say goodbye

by stevie419

Bella and Edward are in love, they are both seventeen years old and humans living in Phoenix. One night Edward disappears and both have to come to terms with what they have lost. Where is Edward? What happened to him? Will they ever find each other again?

5. In each others arms

Chapter 5- in each other's arms

Bella's POV

I was suddenly aware of someone's hand clenched tightly between my fingers. The hand was stone cold and strong. I then realised the owner of the hand was speaking as well. They spoke in a soft gentle voice almost impossible to hear. I knew who it was instantly. It was Edward. I must be dead I told myself. There was no other conclusion I could come to. Edward was talking the way he used to, to me although I could sense pain in his voice. I listened closer to what he was whispering, I managed to just about hear him. "Bella, oh Bella please be ok. I'm so sorry I should never have let it happen, please wake up". I was now even more alert it was as if I was waking up from a long nights sleep except the dream was becoming clearer instead of fading.

My eyes flickered and then opened. The bright white light came flooding through my eyes, I quickly snapped them shut again. Edward's hand tightened even more around mine. I felt him stand up, he brushed his other hand across my forehead. "Bella, open your eyes again Bella, please I'm so sorry" he cried. I shook my head slowly. There were two reasons why I didn't want to open my eyes again. Firstly I didn't want to hurt my eyes again and secondly this dream was too good to end. I didn't want to wake up into the hell that was my life.

"Bella, I'm so sorry, I will never let anyone hurt you again, I'm sorry for what I put you through but it's over now, just please wake up… Bella I love you" Edward breathed. Then as quickly as he finished I felt his cool lips on mine. He kissed me, at first I was shocked and just lay there but then slowly I moved my mouth in time with his. It was like it used to be. Me and him together. He lay his arm behind my head and pulled me up closer to him, he pulled his perfect lips away from mine. Slowly I opened my eyes.

At first all I could see was the bright light, but then as it cleared I could see Edward. Gradually my eyes came more into focus. It was definatly my Edward, but he was still different. I put my hand to his cheek to touch his face. He placed the side of his face into my palm and kissed the tips of my fingers. Edwards' face screwed up like he was crying but without physical tears, as he pulled my arm back down to my side. "Bella go back to sleep, you need rest, when you wake I will explain everything." Edward soothed. I definatly wasn't dreaming, this was real. I laid my head back down on the pillow. As I did I felt a sharp pain in my side. I clutched at it. Edward nodded, "like I said, there's a lot of explaining to be done, you need sleep". I wasn't going to argue, I didn't have the strength to, and nothing was making sense. I felt Edward move away from me as I closed my eyes. I wanted to tell him to come back, but I could sense he had already left the room. I let the tiredness win and drifted off to sleep.

I next awoke with a start. I had, had a bad dream. Mike from school had been attacking me and then Edward had arrived in the clearing where a fight broke out. I awoke sweating and in shock to find Edward and another man just as beautiful who I had never seen before, sat by my side. I sat up and took in my surroundings, I was in a big room, on the left of me was a whole wall of windows. Outside was a forest. I had never been here before. But it was amazing, the sort of place you only see in the films.

Edwards' POV

She awoke with a start and I was immediately back by her side. "I had a nightmare" she cried into my chest as I tried to comfort her. "Don't worry, you've been through a lot. Do you want to tell me what it was about?" I said wiping the tears from her eyes. She shook her head, but then changed her mind and nodded. Bella told me about Mike and how he was attacking her and then she hesitated. I urged Bella to continue I could guess the reason why she had stopped talking. Bella was remembering me in the clearing. When she didn't continue I filled in the gaps for her. "Am I right?" I asked. Bella opened her mouth in shock. "H-how did you know, it was a dream right?" Bella stammered.

I shook my head, and watched her face whiten. "But it can't be real I saw you and, well you were too strong and you bit Mike and you started to drink his blood, I-I saw you, it can't be true, it was a dream." Bella spluttered. I could hear her heartbeat increase and it worried me. I placed my hand on her shoulder, to try and calm her down, but her pulse quickened further so I withdrew my arm away quickly. Worried about causing her even more harm.

"Bella listen to me it was all real, look." I showed her the knife wound, there would be a permanent scar there. Bella would be forever marked by Mike Newton. She traced her fingers around the stitches, that were holding her skin together. Her hands shook as she realised it was all true. Everything that she remembered happened. "B-but you, you were like some sort of vampire and they don't exist" Bella said trying to understand. I smiled slightly "They do Bella, that is what I need to explain. It's why I avoided you, it's why you know who I am. I love you Bella". I kissed her forehead. I could tell what I was saying was too much for her to take in.

Bella's POV

I couldn't believe what I was hearing at first. Was all this some kind of joke. But then when I though it through everything seemed to fit together perfectly even if it was all bit insane. "Edward can I ask you anything." I said staring deep into his golden eyes. I saw him think his answer through before telling me "Yes, anything you need to know to understand". I didn't know where to start, there was so much I could ask, but I decided to start at the beginning. "What happened the night you disappeared and were you a vampire then?" I asked wondering whether he would really reply or whether he would change his mind.

The corner of Edward's mouth twitched. "no I wasn't a vampire then" he explained before telling me everything that had happened to him. He told me about the attackers and Carlisle. He explained about his new family, and how much it had hurt him to leave me and that he only stayed away for my safety. Edward also told me why he had tried to stay away from me at school and how difficult it was to be around me when all he wanted to do was hold me. This made me feel better.

"What does being a vampire mean, is it just like the story's? " I asked. "Yes and no. Yes we do survive on blood, that's why I stayed away from you at first you smelt so good, but my new family are 'vegetarians' we only survive on animal blood. We are also extremely strong and fast. Some vampires have the ability to do other things for example Alice can see the future and I can hear people's thoughts." he stopped when he saw my expression. "You can read minds?" I said shocked. "Yes everyone's but your's" he answered. I was happy to hear, he couldn't hear what I was thinking, but it worried me that I was somehow different to everyone else.

Edward's POV

Bella had finally finished questioning me. It felt good to get everything off my chest. No more secrets. I was amazed at how easily she had taken everything. I half expected her to freak out but then remembered that I was talking about Bella. My Bella. I lay down on the bed with her, her head on my chest. I lay playing with her hair. She was so beautiful. "My turn, to ask the questions now" I said after a couple of minutes silence. I saw Bella take a gulp, but she agreed.

"What happened after I disappeared?" I asked. Bella looked so worried. "Don't worry I'm all ears, you can tell me everything." I said. She was wary at first and I could tell she was missing out small details, but then gradually her confidence grew, she told me everything. She was sobbing as she told me why she had moved to Forks. I couldn't believe what she had done and I made her promise never to do anything like that again. I comforted her as she explained, and then she asked "We won't ever have to be apart again will we, I mean I know everything now?" I could hear the pleading in her voice.

"What you mean you still want me after everything I put you through?" I asked. "of course I do. I love you. nothing will ever change that". Bella replied. I smiled and pulled her closer "I love you too, more than I have showed you. But I promise to try and make it up to you. I never want to lose you again Bella" I said kissing her neck. For a moment things were like they used to be. Everything seemed normal and I was happy again. Then there was a knock at the door and we were interrupted by Alice and Jasper, closely followed by Emmet.

Bella's POV

Three stunningly beautiful people walked into the room. I recognised all three, I had seen them in the canteen at Forks high school. But I had never taken much notice of them before, I had always been so transfixed by Edward. However now I took in every inch of their perfectly formed bodies.

Alice was small, pixie like. With short brown spiky hair. It seemed odd to look at someone and know they could see your future. She was beaming at me, and was dancing around on the spot. I turned my attention to Jasper, he was tall and muscular. He had curly blonde hair, like someone from the movies. I noticed his painful expression and remembered what Edward had told me about Jasper finding the vegetarian diet more difficult because of his past. He still managed to be polite and nodded is head towards me in acknowledgement. I smiled timidly back, and then looked at Emmet. You couldn't miss him, that was for sure. He was big and muscular and he had a huge grin on his face. I couldn't help but let out a small laugh at his playful grin.

It was strange to be looking at three people who barely a day ago I knew nothing about and now I had been filled in on their biggest secrets. I wondered how much Edward had told them about me. Alice came prancing forward and hugged me. "I can see we're going to be really good friends" she almost screamed. Emmet and Jasper both rolled their eyes, while I looked around completely in awe of them. Alice and Emmet sat down on my bed, while Jasper stood close by. I could tell he was only in the same room as me because of Alice. They were clearly pleased to finally meet me.

They talked with me all day long. Carlisle's wife Esme came to introduce herself. She seemed very loving definatly a good mother figure for the others. We had also been visited by Rosalie. She was not so welcoming. After she had left the room, Edward had explained that Rosalie was jealous of me because I was still alive. It seemed strange to me, what was there to be jealous of.? If anything I should be jealous of her, she had beauty, and immortality. This was something I wished I had ,then I could always be with Edward. My Edward.

I was starting to get tired again. It had been a long day, there had been so much to take in. I was just about to close my eyes when I had a sudden thought. "Charlie". Did he know I was here or not, he would be really worried. Edward heard me mention my dad. "Don't worry we told him you were staying here for the week to do a project. He found it hard to believe but didn't cause any problems. In fact he seemed happy you were spending time with friends" Edward laughed, and I gave him a playful hit back. I knew Charlie could never know the truth about the Cullens and I was glad they hadn't told him anything about me being attacked. Less explaining. Edward pulled me closer to his chest. I rested my head and closed my eyes.

I noticed how Edward would almost hold his breath when he touched me. I realised how hard it was for him to be near me. Nothing in our lives was ever easy. I knew things would be different from now on. But right now I was just happy to be back with Edward. My life was back. I had a reason to live again. Slowly I drifted off to sleep. At first I dreamed of being with Edward. But then my head filled with nightmares of Mike Newton attacking me. It was the same dream as the night before. But I couldn't seem to wake up. I tried to stop or even change what was coming next but everything happened as it had in real life. I thrashed around trying to get the nightmare to stop and then I saw Mike plunge the knife into my stomach. My eyes flashed open, and I sat bolt upright. I was all sweaty and hot, I noticed tears streaming from my eyes and my heart thumping in my chest.

But I didn't have to wait long to feel Edwards soothing arms around me. He pulled me into his lap and rocked me like a baby. I closed my eyes and grabbed his shirt, so he couldn't leave. I didn't ever want him to go. I loved him too much. My sleep was dreamless when I was in his arms and that was the way I liked it. I could hear him humming my lullaby (a song he had composed for me, before any of this had happened) it helped me drift off and comforted me because as long as I could hear him, all this was real and I really had my Edward back. We had each other back.

Edwards' POV

Bella was restless when she slept, and when she awoke I could see her tears and feel her panic. I held her close hoping it would offer her some comfort. What was she dreaming about? Me being a Monster? Or was it the Newton boy? Either way I hated seeing her suffer like this. But it felt good to have her back in my arms again. To be back in my life, no matter how different things were going to be. We could be together again. I didn't care what anyone else thought about it, it was clear to me that we needed each other.

I lay with Bella all night, until she woke again in the morning. She still looked pale, but I could feel she was gradually getting her strength back again. Carlisle came and checked on her, before heading to the hospital. He also seemed pleased with her progress. "You should be well enough to go home soon. I'm sure Charlie is worried about you, he hasn't spoken to you in a week." Carlisle teased. Bella had smiled in return. "He's probably starving by now, he's had no one to cook for him".

I pulled her into my arms and let out a small laugh. I saw the colour flush in her cheeks. How I had missed that I thought to myself. We sat talking again till I heard Bella's stomach rumble. I forgot humans needed to eat frequently. Bella was well enough to go downstairs with me now. She was in awe of the house as I led her to the kitchen, pointing out specific objects and paintings on the way. I sat her at the dining table while I cooked up some eggs, I hadn't forgotten how to cook, but it didn't smell appealing to me anymore. I handed Bella my phone and told her to give her dad a call. I watched as she dialled, and waited for Charlie to answer.

She was so beautiful. Her rich chocolate brown eyes. Her long curls, hanging loosely below her shoulders. The cute pink that would penetrate her pale coloured skin, whenever she smiled. She was stunning and unique at the same time. I loved the way she would bite her lip ever so slightly when she was deep in thought. It was the small things that I had missed the most, and was happy to have back. She wasn't just physically beautiful either. She had the perfect personality as well. She was everything I ever dreamed of and I made a promise to myself that I would never hurt her, or lose her again unless I was putting Bella in danger.

Bella's POV

I sat waiting for Charlie to answer the phone. Maybe he was fishing today. I could see Edward watching me from across the kitchen, and I couldn't help but feel at home. I looked back at Edward, I still was in slight disbelief about the events over the past week. Edward my Edward was a vampire, but a good one at that. He had saved me from almost certain death. I understood how difficult it must have been for him, but it proved he loved me and cared for me still. However a part of me always knew he did and had never stopped loving me. What we had together was irreversible. I was just about to put the phone down and try again later, when from the other end I heard. "Hello?"

It was Charlie. "Um Hi dad" I stuttered back, a bit stunned to hear his voice again. There was a time not long ago when I thought I would never speak to him again, or Renee or even Edward. I waited for Charlie to reply and when he did I could hear the relief in his voice. "Bella? Hi you ok? Why didn't you call sooner and when are you coming back? I'm missing you Bells." I let out a small giggle. Typical Charlie 21 questions, and worrying about me as usual. "Bells?" He called again. I jumped and remembered I was still on the phone. "Dad don't worry about me I've just been so busy with this project, I'm not sure exactly when me and Alice will be finished but I promise I'll be back by the end of the week and I'll keep in touch this time". I finished and saw Edward smile at my response. I had kept to the story and hopefully Charlie would be none the wiser. "Um, that's ok Bells. Miss you though, and make sure you do ring me this time. I thought maybe the Cullens had kidnapped you". I heard him chuckle down the pone and knew he was joking. I felt my cheeks warm and knew my face would be blushing right now.

I finished talking with Charlie and then sat to eat my eggs. I didn't know eggs could taste so good, I complimented Edward. The corners of his mouth turned up as he piled seconds onto my plate, which I ate as quickly as the first helping. "What would you like to do today?" he asked, placing his hand on mine. It sent cold shivers up my arm, but I enjoyed the feeling. "um I don't mind as long as it's with you". I sighed pulling myself closer to him. "I think we should take it easy today, you're still not 100%" he said tweaking my nose. He got up and cleared my plate. I was slightly embarrassed, I was being treated like royalty, and I wasn't totally helpless.

Suddenly Edward scooped me up in his arms. Which further confirmed my thoughts. I can walk by myself you know" I commented looking straight into Edward's eyes. They were darker today, but still had a hint of the honey gold colour left in them. "But it's quicker this way" Edward answered smugly. We both laughed. He carried me through the house, quicker than I could shout "Slow down", and when he stopped I felt slightly dizzy. He placed me on my feet, and then walked me into a room. The room was large and bright, and in the corner I could see a huge grand piano. "I wanted to show you my favourite room" Edward explained.

He sat down on the piano seat and I placed myself next to him. His fingers moved gently over the ivory keys. The music that erupted around the room was the best I had ever heard. Edward's face was full of concentration as he played. I placed my hand over his and mirrored his movements. Slowly the piece came to an end and Edward turned to face me. He leaned forward and placed his forehead on mine. My heart started to flutter and I saw him smile. I knew what I wanted to do. I moved my lips to his and was happy when Edward didn't pull away. We had kissed before, but since Edward had changed we hadn't kissed as passionately as before. It was though we were both holding back.

But today that had changed. I felt Edwards' cool hard lips against mine. I pressed my lips harder to his. Everything was perfect. Edward's hands moved through my hair almost rhythmically, as my fingers traced down his chest. Edward started to lean closer pushing me back onto the piano keys. A chime of notes echoed around the room. I started to undo Edwards' shirt, I couldn't help my self. I could feel his stone hard muscles beneath the material. As I pulled the shirt away the sun hit onto his chest. Before my eyes his skin turned to diamond's, I let out an internal gasp, but never unlocked my lips from his. I placed my hand onto his stomach expecting the texture to be rough instead it was smooth. My heart was racing and I felt a need for more.

Edward started to kiss me faster and harder, he now had me completely locked down. But I wasn't scared, the complete opposite actually. Edward was getting carried away as well. His face was full of determination. He ripped my shirt away from my body literally and then pressed himself against me. I lay there while Edward pinned me down. Every now and then the keys of the piano would play a few notes, as Edward pressed down harder. He moved his lips away from mine and started kissing my body. Every time the beautiful vampire's lips touched a part of me, I felt a tingle, a shiver. He moved his mouth to my neck, I felt as though my heart was going to jump from my chest. Edwards mouth gripped the skin, but lovingly rather than painfully. I wrapped my legs around his, encouraging him.

Suddenly he leapt away from me. He threw himself halfway across the room. I gasped in shock. Edward was shaking, and the look of pain had swept once more across his face. "Um I'm sorry" I squeaked worried I had done something wrong. "You don't have anything to be sorry for. It's me. It's just… I can never lose control like that with you. It's too dangerous Bella, I could have killed you" he cringed, turning away from me. I put my the remains of my shirt back on and made my way to comfort him. "It's ok, we can do other things, as long as you still get to kiss me sometimes. I promise I won't let you get carried away. I love you Edward no matter what and you're not going to get rid of me that easily" I said putting my hand on his arm. "I don't want to get rid of you, I'm always here for you, it's just I want you to know that we can't always do the things other couples do " he answered. I smiled snuggling into his chest "It's ok, I know that, and I still want you. I love you no matter what Edward Cullen.".

Edward's POV

I was annoyed at myself, more than angry. Annoyed I had put Bella in so much danger already, but quite pleased with the way I handled the situation, pleased I managed to stop before it was too late. I lifted Bella off the piano and carried her back upstairs. "come on, you need to get some rest, if you're going to be strong enough to go back to Charlie this week" I teased laying her down in her bed. "stay with me, please" she called, as I went to leave the room. "Bella, you need to sleep, and I'm just a distraction Carlisle won't be very impressed if he comes home and finds you weaker than when he left this morning, I promise I will be here when you wake" I said kissing her forehead. I could see the pain in her eyes but she agreed and let me leave.

I went to my bedroom and listened to Bella's calm breathing as she slept in the other room. Another good thing about being a vampire was exceptional hearing. I could be anywhere in the house and hear Bella, which comforted me. I would be sad when she went back to Charlie's, even though I would see her everyday I would hate the times I couldn't be with her. I was glad that Charlie didn't seem to make the link between Edward Masen and Edward Cullen when I visited the other day to collect some more clothes for Bella. I must admit I had been worried at first, but he didn't notice.

Charlie had been worried when I had turned up at his door, thinking something had happened to Bella. (which had, but he didn't need to know) I told him Alice and Bella were busy and she had asked me to collect some of her things. Charlie was definitely wary at first but finally had let me in when he couldn't find an excuse not to. He watched me as I packed some of her clothes and school books. But this didn't bother me as I could hear everything he was thinking. I had managed the trip without too many questions, but was glad when I returned.

I sat on my couch and started reading one of the many books Carlisle had leant me. Reading had always been something I had enjoyed. I was deeply engrossed in the text when suddenly I heard Bella's breathing quicken. It panicked me straight away, and I leapt up at once, but before I even reached the door, the air filled with a terrifying scream. It sent shivers down my spine and the noise ripped through every part of my body. You didn't need to be a vampire to hear the chilling screams that were now echoing from Bella's room. I ran upstairs and thorough the door in a matter of seconds. Bella was laid down apparently still asleep in the bed. I raced to her side as her screams rung through my ears.

Bella thrashed around and gripped hold of the covers. She was having a nightmare, but a pretty bad one from what I could tell. I placed the back of my palm on Bella's forehead to calm her, forgetting how cold my hand would be to her. I could feel each bead of sweat on her face. As my skin contacted hers I felt Bella jump. She awoke with a start, and sat upright in the bed looking straight at me. Her breathing gradually slowed from a pant as she realised it was just a bad dream. She leant forwards and put her head into my chest. I could feel her tears as she sobbed. "It's ok" I soothed, slowly brushing her back with the palm of my hand.

When Bella had calmed down, I pulled her away from my chest, and looked her straight in the eye. "Please tell me what's up Bella, I might be able to help". She shook her head at me. "What's so bad, you cant say?" I asked almost pleading. "Is it me?". Again Bella shook her head, this time more violently. I let out a small sigh and relaxed my shoulders slightly. Bella smiled and then said "Ok, but promise you won't laugh at me, or be angry". I nodded "I'll just listen Bella, and see if I can help. I don't ever want you to be scared". I said pulling her back towards me.