I just wanted to leave a note saying for all those who are fortunate to actually speak Russian that the wording I've used will most likely be awkward or wrong (haha) as I used translators and such seeing as I don't speak a word of it :P I ask that you suspend disbelieve and just ignore it please, unless you can offer a better on then I will happily exchange the sentence structure for an accurate one. As far as "translating" the text, pretty much Russia later says what he did say so don't worry about it too much, your not missing any part of the story. The last word is in Hungarian however and means "Revolution".

Please enjoy the last installment of this fic, and I do apologize for the angst factor, but while I like the Russia/Hungary pairing at this time in history it is simply impossible for them to have a normal relationship. haha

Never, Never [2/2]

It had probably seemed insignificant at the time when she mentioned it to Russia, why she had remembered so clearly what book it was she had hit him in the face with.

War and Peace.

Hungary had hit him in the face with a leather bond copy of War and Peace...the same copy she retrieved from the floor and set into her lap as she drew the sheets close around herself to block out the cold. He'd been gone now for some time, but he was still everywhere. It seems so cliché, Hungary thought to herself, that he's stuck underneath my skin...like...like...some disgusting grime I can't get off!

With a sharp cry she threw the book as hard as she could against the wall, the loud slam echoing through the high ceiling of the room and then again when it hit the floor. Hungary threw herself unto the nearest pillow, clutched her arms around it and buried her face deep into its material to muffle her raging screams. Her throat was burning, aching and straining until the sound cracked and her tone changed from anger to bitter sobs.

What have I done...What have I done.

She let the pillow absorb her tears, finally sitting up to rub the last view from her dampened cheeks. With her face set stubbornly, jaw clenched tight, she slid over to the side of the bed and stepped onto the dull carpet. Hungary made her way directly to the adjoining bathroom and stood in front of the mirror, bared to her own eyes and scrutiny as she glared at her own image.

"You...are a fool!" she said to the weak, bruised woman.

"A fool...to e-even...for one second..." her voice broke from a whimper that forced its way up her throat. New tears rolled down her cheeks and she hastily rubbed them away and refused to look up at her reflection...refused to see herself reduced to such a pitiful state because of him.

At least he had the benefit of not remembering...at least he would not forever have that night playing in his head over and over. Hungary would always remember, always bare the burden of this shame and Russia never would know what happened that night, would probably...never care to.

What she didn't tell him…

"Get your hands off me! I said get them OFF!- YOU! What the fuck is the meaning of this? Dragging me out like these bastards are gonna shove me in a car and snuff me...not like you have the gas to drive off to the dump the body-" Hungary sneered viciously the moment the human men had shoved her into Russia's room and shut the door behind them. She had been fast asleep, dreaming of better days when those two shitheads ripped her out of the barely noticeable warmth of her own bed and stuck her in here with the bane of her very existence. Wonderful.

Russia said nothing to her, and instead picked up an already filled shot glass and drank it down as if it were nothing but water. He tottered slightly as he fell off balance, dropping the glass with a thunk on the carpeted floor.

"...you're drunk."

"Да."

"...what do you want? Just get it over with so I can go back to sl-"

"Вы мечтаете, Венгрии? ...Я мечтаю."

His words were slurred and Hungary barely spoke Russia to begin with, his added drunkenness making it near impossible for her to even figure out what he was saying.

"Speak English you bastard, or German- and don't give me that you don't know it shit, you speak it just fi-"

"Я мечтаю о поле подсолнухов. Я мечтаю о тепле." Russia spoke over her louder as he tried to pour himself another glass and ended up with just a stream of the strong smelling vodka on the table. He looked at it puzzled for a moment, muttering and mumbling so lowly Hungary didn't even know if it was speech as he looked about for his missing glass.

"...I resent this. I resent being dragged up here to listen to you...though not understanding you for once is a plus-"

Russia seemed to finally notice the glass and picked it up with a smile, ignoring Hungary much to her ever growing frustration as he set it on the puddle of vodka on the table and attempted to fill it again.

"Недавно ...Я мечтаю о другом."

His voice seems so different, and the change in his tone makes Hungary stop mid sentence, perhaps just humoring him a bit just to hear more of it. She can hardly believe this is the same man anymore. He fumbles to even bring the shot glass to his lips and every word sounds as if it's on the verge of breaking into a silent stream of tears. Hungary is certain she has never seen Russia cry and the twist in her gut made her resolve that she never wanted to.

"I can't…understand you. Look, sleep it off. If you still remember me even coming up here tomorrow maybe then I'll listen, but I'm tired. Good night." She said with a shrug, turning to the door and walking away from him.

"Я мечтаю ... ждать. Стоп. Куда вы идете!" his voice rose higher, panicked and startled as she goes.

The sound of broken glass followed by a thud and a crash startles her into turn half way back and Russia's grip around her upper arm forcing her the rest of the way around. She jerks her arm back instinctively and his grip suddenly goes tight and it's…painful. She yells and grips at his fist, trying to pry his hand off, but he refuses to let go.

He's talking faster and louder and now he's got her by the shoulders and he shakes her to punctuate some of his words more deeply. Hungary swings her arm up between his, trying to hit his face, his chest, anything that will shove him away and get that crushing grip off her body. It's horrifying how strong he still is even after drinking so much, and a terrible thought flashes through her mind…that he could kill her without even meaning to in an instant if his hands just glided up a bit higher to her throat.

"L-Let go of me right now you-" and the moment the words left her mouth, his hands were indeed there, choking the air and the words right out of her neck.

Gasping, she stepped back as he pushed in, eventually groaning as he slammed her against a bookshelf. Thick volumes fell around her and slap against the floor. Thankfully none struck her head and sadly none struck his. She couldn't breathe, clawing at his hands and feeling everything spinning and lurching in utter chaos, his voice rapidly going off In Russian gradually becoming dimmer and dimmer as her ears began to ring. The brunette went limp and moved her hand along the book shelf until she found one that was thick enough she could grip it completely in her hand.

Hungary felt she had one shot to save herself, and she took it, slamming the book against Russia's face repetitively until something cracked beneath its surface and with a sharp yelp he let her go and backed away holding the side of his cheek. Air burned down her throat and lungs as she breathed in as much as she could, stumbling to keep standing as the ground rocked beneath her.

Have to get to the door. Have to get out of here.

Arms wrapped around her from behind as she tried to break into a sluggish run, snaking around her waist and under her breasts and lifting her feet from the ground. Hungary struggled blindly, like a raging cat, but Russia did not let go…nor did he squeeze her hard enough to hurt. Exhaustion was sapping the fight out of her and she didn't have the breath left to scream.

"Stop…stop…Hungary. Stop."

German. She could understand him now as he buried his face into the back of her hair until she could feel him breathing on the nape of her neck. Her heart was beating fiercely in her chest and knowing that he could feel how terrified she was through his arms made her only want to get away from him more.

Everything…slowed down. Where noise and panic had been, silence (save for her own heavy breathing) filled the room and with both of them no longer struggling to grasp hold of one another or a weapon…she felt Russia's body relax and calm against hers once again. She kept tense, wary of an attempt to crack her ribs…or her spine if she gave in too readily.

In the moment of silence she could see he had knocked over the table in his way to reach her before she left. Slowly, he let her feet touch back down to the floor and she could feel the dampness in the carpet where the vodka had streamed to from its half shattered bottle.

"….Венгрия.." he says softly, and the smaller woman knows exactly what that word is. It's her name…her name he is saying in that strange gentle voice, devoid of its high pitched and childish tone that was normal for him. Hungary had no idea that he could even speak without it…he sounded almost normal now.

"…I've made a mistake. I am drunk."

"Really? I couldn't tell-"

"No. Do…do not bite at me…not right now. Listen, just listen…"

She snorted and pushed her head back, trying to bump his nose or that broken bone in his face to get him to back off.

"You…have NO right to ask me to do anything! I…I hate you. I hate you so much. You're always doing this shit. Always forcing everything on us and expecting us just to take it, but I won't! I won't do it! You can't make me-"

"Я люблю тебя, даже если вы меня ненавидите."

Hungary sighed, "There is a perfect fucking example. I can't understand a word your saying and you expect me to…just like you expect me to understand why you're doing all this. I don't und-"

"I dream of sunflowers."

The brunette went silent for a moment, before nodding, "I know that junk already."

"…but…I am always with many during these dreams. Everyone…but now…" Hungary felt him swallow, "…I only dream of being in that place…with you."

He let her go in that instant and she turned immediately to face him, confused eyes searching his face for some kind of answer to what he meant by all this. His hand lifted up and Hungary flinched. Russia frowned at that, but in a guilty way rather than in displeasure. He moved slower now, as if that would set her at ease, and gentle touched her cheek with his fingertips.

Slowly he slid them further along until his palm rested against the softness of her face. He held it there for a moment as suspicious green eyes watched his face carefully for any sign of his behavior changing. He slid his hand up through her hair, fingers curling around the strands caught between them gently…stroking through the soft waves with a faraway look.

Hungary surveyed the damage she had done to his face while he did this, nervousness edging around inside her stomach as her eyes searched his own rapidly.

"….what do you want from me?" she said, her voice tight as she forced herself to speak.

"….everything."

She took even herself by surprise with what she did next…and why she had done it would still plague her mind forever on, though she did not know it then. Hungary stepped in closer and standing up unto her toes she gently kissed the corner of his mouth. His voice had doomed her the moment she'd heard it, his voice…not demanding…but pleading, Please, please I don't care what you do to me…just please love me.

"Stay with me."

It was a request, not an order…he was asking…instead of taking.

"…and if I say no?"

"I'm…not in a position to stop you."

Hungary laughed and drew close to him again, "…it's a start."

Was it pity that made her kiss him again? Hungary had no idea…he was drunk; the heavy taste of vodka in his mouth was evidence enough of that….but what was her excuse?

His hands practically dwarfed her small waist, touching and rubbing down her thighs before moving back up to pull her against him. This was difficult, their drastic height difference making it harder for Hungary to keep kissing along his jaw, and with all the horrible stuff that woman had done to his face over the years he was not willing to give up the one thing she was doing that felt good for once. He felt drunk all over again, which somewhat was an annoyance as everything else started to haze so did his sense of feeling. The warmth of her skin and the touch of her lips were becoming dulled…dulled to the point Russia was uncertain who was even in his arms anymore as the alcohol began to erode the memories away.

Hungary remained blissfully ignorant, though somewhere in the back of her mind a warning tried to stop her from doing this. It was trying to stop her before it was too late and she would never be able to affirm her hate again. Just like the alcohol was slowly draining his memories of love away…each touch was draining away her memories of hate.

He was in absolutely no position to be dominant in this setting, but it was fine by her as she was not always such a prim and proper lady. She knew how to get what she needed by giving him what he wanted. Her hands unraveled the scarf from around his neck and she set it over a chair rather than on the floor. Russia made a sound that she took as appreciation as she helped him to get his coat off. His skin was icy compared to her meager warmth, and with the Slav trying to soak up as much of the heat as he could it was becoming clear there was not enough in the air for them both.

With a slight laugh, she backed away from him and got him to his bed. Her stomach tensed and sent a burst of fluttering adrenaline through her veins.

Was…was she really going to do this?

For a moment it looked like she wouldn't need to worry about it as Russia lay back against his pillow and his eyes shut almost instantly…his breath going shallow. Carefully Hungary crept up unto the bed, slipping one of her legs over him so she could sit down on his hips…and let her hands move up under his shirt. His eyes opened half way and the skin tensed beneath her finger tips.

She snorted, "You're not as fat as the Baltic's worry you are."

Why in the world was she even talking? Wasn't this odd enough without her adding to it? But Russia never failed to disappoint when he was drunk He chuckled and moved his hands from his side up Hungary's thighs, squeezing a bit as he went.

"…that's what you think."

"A-…are you being lewd?"

Despite how awkward his laugh should have made her…it relaxed her to think Russia could behave just like a typical man. She smiled slightly and helped him tug the shirt up over his head. His face was flushed despite how cold he felt, and the way he looked so weak and sleepy against the sheets made her more confident in her power over him.

"Kiss me again…I liked it. You don't normally let me…"

"I never let you and…ask me nicely."

He gave her an odd look, as if trying to make out her face in the haze of his drunkenness. He smiled eventually and shrugged as best he could, "…kiss me again, please."

"That's better…" she complied this time, bending over to press her lips to his (minding both his nose and his broken cheek as best she could) while one of his hands slid up her spine and eventually nestled behind her neck after brushing her hair back from where it had made a curtain around their faces.

"Ow. Ow…why do you always have to be so cruel to my face!"

Hungary took the chance to slip her tongue in past his lips as he whined against the kiss. He tasted like a brewery. It was not the most pleasant thing in the world, but the soft groan he made when she slipped the side of her tongue slowly against his made up for it.

Then he started to push up her nightgown and Hungary jolted back as though she had been struck.

"Hmm?" he mumbled lazily, unable to form words properly anymore it seemed. She…could feel a small shudder go through her body as she pushed his hands away.
"…let me."

She picked up where he left off, slowly sliding the slick thin material up her body and trying not to pay too much attention to the violet eyes that followed its hem as it edged up, that lingered on each newly bared bit of skin. She stopped just beneath her breasts, as once she took it off the nightgown she would be one bit of clothing away from nothing…as she didn't often make a habit of wearing her bra while asleep and she had been asleep prior to this.

Hungary couldn't very well just keep sitting there torturing the Slav, as amusing as his expression was now that she risked a look at him, and slipped the nightgown off. She got up from where she sat on his lap, still straddling him as she slowly slid forward until she could kiss him again and gently pressed herself down until her warm stomach touched his and the soft curve of her breasts pushed up against his chest.

Russia tried to switch their position, tried to get her beneath him, but he could barely keep himself up without getting dizzy and having to lie back again..and besides…Hungary still held to her believe he wouldn't be as good at leading as herself of course.

Through his pants she could feel where the fabric was beginning to bulge up slightly, bumping a bit against her bottom and telling her that he was going to…probably need a bit of encouraging with how much alcohol was pumping through his blood. Hungary moved to pull back and Russia grunted in protest as the warmth left him, but the grunt quickly turned into a moan as she sat back on his lap and gave her hips a little squirm. She sat up a bit, and pressed back down while gently rocking her hips. Russia's hands had slid up to her hips, pushing a bit to show her where he wanted her to press down more at and when he was satisfied she was doing it very right he moved them up her stomach and to her breasts.

The brunette shouldn't have been as startled by it as she was, the Slav was always groping at her to get a rouse out of her for fun, but it took a moment for her to even be able to find pleasure in the touch as the warning in the back of her mind kept sending the signal to break his face. Hungary had been right to think he was out of practice the way he experimented with how best to get her to shiver and flush by fondling her, and even though she was consenting to the touch right now the moment he pinched one of her nipples between his thumb and the side of his forefinger she couldn't help but give him a whap against the side. He laughed at her and didn't stop, gently tugging it a bit before giving the reddened nub a pluck.

"You're so soft; I want to play with you more…don't hit! Such a mood killer, Hungary. Really, how did you learn to beha-aanh."

The smaller woman grinded down against him suddenly, it turned out it was a good way to get him to shut up…almost as effective as a fry pan to the face.

"Be quiet and take off your pants."

"No. Do it for me." He countered, smiling innocently as can be. Hungary could feel the burning need to hit him coming back, but instead she gave a coy grin of her own and bounced a bit, grinding forward a little more until she heard him make a sound of slight discomfort.

"Do it yourself."

"…..you're a bad bad lady." He slurred, then again everything he had said tonight sounded slurred so gradually the sound was beginning to sound normal to her, and reached under her to do as she asked. He didn't seem to mind too much his hand was bumping right…against…a very delicate part, but Hungary noticed before he even got his hands on his zipper.

Hungary was the only one left with any clothing on now, but she took less time to slip out of her panties then she had taking of her nightgown. She was…god forbid…getting comfortable being naked around the drunk Russian. Partly because she knew he could barely see to begin with, and secondly because she hoped that by morning he'd be a bit foggy on the details. Russia wasn't speaking anymore thankfully, it was a small mercy she was sure, but that she had managed to silence him by just taking off her clothes…easy as it sounded she wasn't sure she was ready to make a habit of doing so…ever.

He was…not joking, when he made the comment before. Hungary had never heard those sounds come from Russia…panting out heavy moans as she rocked and pushed her hips down until gradually she was able to finally open enough to take him in. Her whole body felt hot, so much so that Russia's chilled touch felt…good against her skin. Her thighs were trembling, little spasms of nervousness as she let out a shaking breath.

Reason was suddenly coming back to her like a flood. If she wasn't planning on making something of this why was she doing it? This was…Russia she had beneath her…inside her…not Austria, not even Prussia for God's sake and she would have thought only hours ago she would have had him before she'd ever have the Slav.

"Hungary…" he mumbled half lucidly beneath her, and odd sort of contentment in his voice as he let go of her hips and took hold of her hands, "…stop thinking."

For once, the Hungarian woman did exactly as her superior ordered. He gripped at her wrists as she moved up and pushed down, up…and down…slowly at first until she got use to the feeling and her mind hazed as if she were as drunk as the Slav. If she didn't think of anything, not of the USSR, not of the communists or Austria or all the pain her people had endured…if she thought of nothing but the warmth of the hands holding tight to her wrists…and the pressure and heat inside of her…of the pleasure prickling her skin and sending shivers down her spine…then everything was good.

She could simply forget, and live in the dream of warmth and flowers with him.

And in the end that's all it had ever been for him. A dream like all the ones he had had before of her. Hungary had bathed and dressed, a car already waiting for her outside of Russia's house and a ticket Estonia had secured for her on the next train headed for Budapest. She did not look back at the house as the car pulled out of the driveway and unto the street.

It was not until she reached the station did Hungary realize it would not be so easy to run away from what she had done. A call was on hold for her already upon arrival and Hungary took it with shaking hands.

"…hello?"

"Hungary, it's me…Estonia…he told me what happened. Well, what he k-knew might have happened- I just…are you alright?"

Lithuania.

"I'm fine."

"…are you sure? I'm..I'm so sorry. Had I known, I would have stayed with him. I was…I was with him while he was drinking and he sent me away and I was there when he told them to bring you up. I'm so sorry Hungary."

She said nothing for a long time, and then with a small laugh shook her head though he could not see it, "It's alright Liet. I'm going home, I've never been happier. It's been a long time since I was allowed to go live in my own house."

"I...I'm glad…but Hungary…I know from Estonia you…were bruised up pretty badly, but he's never sent you away before like this. Now he's locked up in his room and…I don't know."

Hungary knew what he was trying to get at, but quietly allowed Liet to fumble around until he found the right words, "He seems…guilty. He never feels guilty after hitting us if we did something wrong…but…it's like…he knows he did something wrong."

"What are you getting at?" Hungary sighed, snapping a bit now as she checked the clock above the station to make sure she didn't miss her train.

"…d-did he…did he rape you?" Lithuania cleared his throat and finally asked outright the question she knew would be plaguing his mind.

"God, no." she said, hearing his relieved exhale of breath as the weight lifted from his shoulders…and settled back where I belonged on hers.

"Oh thank god. I was horrified-"

"It's worse. I love him."

If there ever was a way to completely punch Lithuania in the gut without lifting a hand Hungary had certainly just found out how. It sounded as though the wind had been sucked right out of him the way he stopped breathing over the line.

"…what? H-How…Hungary. Are you crazy? I- the things he's done to us-"

"This phone is tapped you kn-"

"I d-don't care! W..what did he do to you? Hungary…"

She rubbed her eyes, feeling stressed and her head was beginning to ache from it. All these memories she wish she didn't have, and now…this feeling she wished she could give back.
"He told me…he loved me. And I believed him. I was an idiot and I believed him…now..-"

Looking up at the bit of blue sky trying to peek out from behind graying clouds Hungary whispered to no one as the rain began to drizzle unto the railroad tracks.

"…I love him, Liet. But…it…it's not going to work. As long as I stay under his thumb it's never going to work. I have to get out of here. I have to get out, and maybe…maybe after then- maybe I can fix this- fuck…god d-dammit. I hate him for doing this to me!"

The sound of the trains whistle echoed around the station and a voice called out in Russian for the boarding to Budapest to begin.

"Hungary-"

"I have to go."

"W-wait! Hungary you shouldn't be alone right now! Hungary? Wait-!"

She hung up the phone and stood silently in front of it, the wind sending a faint sprinkle of rain against her skin. She did not wipe the droplets away from her cheeks as she picked up her bag and walked quickly to the open passenger car. With her head held high and her face fixed with new purpose, no one would see her tears.

Forradalom.