Chapter Four: The Third Man
New York City, 1956
I: Eddie
It was morning in Bensonhurst.
At the Blake residence, which had been occupied by various members of that illustrious Brooklyn family, since 1938, Edie Blake was cooking breakfast for the current configuration.
In 1954, when Jimmy moved out, and it was just Eddie and Allie living there, Eddie invited Edie and Aggie, their common-law husband Ivan, and his two nephews, Edie's son Paulie and Aggie's son, Pat, to get out of East New York, which was going downhill, fast, and move into the house in Bensonhurst.
Eddie had pretty much moved into his Manhattan apartment, full-time in 1955, when Allie went off to NYU.
But, Allie moved back home after a semester in the dorms, and Eddie was still coming there every night after work to change out of his costume and take a shower, and he usually stayed at least one night a week, and weekends.
Just to keep an eye on all of them.
Not to mention that ever since she was a child, Eddie's daughter with Sally Jupiter who, despite her resemblance to him and lack of resemblance to Rolf Mueller, her purported daddy, was a regular guest at the Blake homestead.
Edie was Laurie's babysitter.
She and Eddie both refrained from mentioning to Sally that Eddie still lived in the house when Sally started bringing Laurie around, somewhere in '50.
At first, Sally trusted Larry with "his" daughter when she had to go out of town, but when he proved unable to cope, if Sally was flying out to the West Coast to talk to Paramount, or Universal, she left Laurie with her aunts, and her beloved cousins Paulie and Pat, where she knew the kid would be safe.
And, if Eddie so happened to be in his own house when his own daughter was visiting, well, why was that a crime?
So, on that morning, the family assembled around the table, and although Edie was cooking, her brother had something to say about it.
"Jesus, don't put so much fuckin' butter in the pan! What the hell you gotta use alla that butter, for? You're gonna make everything too fuckin' greasy!" he was complaining.
"Don't do that, Edie, Jesus, my stomach is bad enough this morning! I got mid-terms. I'm a wreck. The goddamn smell of the goddamn food is making me sick." Allie piped in.
"I want Froot Loops. I hate fried eggs." Paulie volunteered.
"All I ever get is Froot Loops. My mom can't cook. And Larry, he's an asshole." Laurie complained.
"Laurie! No swearing at the table!" Edie told her.
"Since when?" Allie snorted.
"She's right. That fuckin' pencil-necked prick bastard! He is a fuckin' asshole! What good is he? He can't even take care of the kid for two nights? And he never takes her anywhere. Some father that asshole is." Eddie agreed.
"He's not my real father." Laurie said.
"You bet he ain't." Eddie snorted.
"Eddie!"
"What? The kid just said it, I didn't1"
"Edie, could you hurry up with eggs? I have job to get to." Ivan asked.
"You have a job? You? What's goin' on? You guys short on money?" Eddie asked.
"Not regular job. Salvage job at docks. Cash under table. Big money. Goes right into box under floorboards and fuck IRS."
Meanwhile, Pat was looking at his food like it was green.
"That's more like it, Ivan. Pat, what's the matter with your plate?"
"This bacon isn't even dead yet, Uncle Eddie, for cryin' out loud! I can't eat this."
"I'll eat it. I'm hungry." Paulie said.
"Don't eat that! It's raw! Edie, what the fuck?"
Edie threw down the spatula, and sat down.
"Okay, Eddie, you got a fuckin' problem? You cook."
"Good idea. Allie, get Paulie his Froot Loops. Whaddya you want? Toast and four Alka-Selzers?"
"Yeah."
Breakfast went on, and Pat and Paulie left for school, and Ivan gave Allie a ride into town, and Edie did the dishes, and Eddie wondered why Laurie was just sitting there, playing with her cold food.
"What's the matter, honey? Don't you feel good?" Edie asked.
"I don't wanna go to school. And I'm not hungry. I dunno. I miss my Ma."
"She'll be home, tomorrow, Laurie. Do you want to go home with your Daddy?"
"Larry's not my Daddy! And if I never saw that jerk again, I'd be happy!" Laurie exclaimed.
That was enough to make Eddie take notice.
If that fucking little bastard has touched my kid, I'll rip him to pieces with my bare hands.
"Why? Is he mean to you? Does he hurt you? You can tell us, Laurie. We'll tell you Ma, and she'll make sure nobody hurts you, anymore."
Laurie rolled her eyes.
"Larry doesn't have the balls to hurt anybody. He's just a jerk. He yells at me all the time, and he never dose anything. I mean all the other kids' fathers take them places. Larry never does anything. And whoever that guy is that's my real dad, I never even met him. He skated on Ma and me a long time ago. I got a raw deal. It's lousy." Laurie complained.
"Well, where do ya wanna go, Lar? The zoo? Prospect Park? Down the street to get a hot dog? The drive-in?"
"Yeah! Places like that."
"I can take youse. I'm always takin' Paulie, or Pat, someplace. What's another kid, more or less?"
"Eddie—"
"Shut up, Edie."
Laurie thought about it.
"What if they ain't goin?"
"Then you an' me can go."
"Is that okay, Edie? Ma says to listen to you when she's not around. " Laurie asked.
Edie knew goddamn well that it would not be okay with Sally.
But she knew her brother, she knew him better than anybody on God's Green Earth.
She knew what he'd gone through, since he was about Laurie's age, trying to keep her, and Aggie, and the little kids safe.
He might have been a lot of things, but he wasn't the kind of man who would ever do anything bad to anyone of his blood, let alone his own daughter, and goddammit, he deserved a chance to be some kind of father to Laurie.
The little girl shouldn't have to suffer for the mistakes her father had made.
Or her mother.
"Sure, Laurie. You go ahead. You can listen to Eddie, too, when ma's not around. He's my brother, he'll look after you as good as I would."
"Really! I can go! Neat? So, where are we gonna go today, Eddie?"
"It's rainin'. We'll go to the movies. Wait a minute, kid. Put ya coat on. It ain't too warm today, either."
New York City, 1965
I: Eddie
The more he thought about it, the better of an idea it was.
Of course, Sal wasn't going to like it.
They had made a big deal of it, reporters everywhere, and all Eddie had said, offhand was that when it came to cars he liked Caddys and Lincolns, but when you were talking about trucks, he'd go with Ford.
Then he said something about his father's old Ford V-8.
Those were some of his only good memories of his father.
Despite what he told Sal about not knowing how to drive, Eddie's father had him behind the wheel as soon as his feet could reach the pedals, so he was driving from the time he was seven or eight.
He used to drive the Old Man around town, while he shook people down in the back of the car.
They'd stop at a gas station so the Old Man could wipe the blood off the seats, and he'd get Eddie a candy bar.
A couple of times they were on the run from the cops, or from some other hoods, and the Old Man was shooting out the window with a Tommy gun, which is great fun when you're a kid. It was better than having John Dillinger for a father.
The least he could do for his kid, who was about to start her tenure as a mask, was teach her how to drive like one.
Of course, when you're a mask, somebody's always trying to pimp you off, and he would have told the corporate pencil-necks from Ford Motor Company to fuck off, but the car they wanted to give him, it looked like something a kid would like.
It was a Saturday morning, and when he got to Sal's place, Laurie was sitting on the front steps, smoking a cigarette, and waiting for somebody.
She came up to the shiny red new '66 Mustang with eyes as big as saucers.
"You like this thing, kid?"
"Like it? Jesus, what a car!"
Eddie got out.
"Yeah, well it's too small for me. You got your permit, yet?"
Laurie rolled her eyes.
"Uh-huh. Ma's teachin' me to drive. She's a lousy driver."
"I know. That's why I'm takin' over. So, ya like this car? If ya like it, it's yours."
"Eddie, I can't pay for it."
"So? They gave it to me. Even if they didn't, you think I need money from a 15 year old kid? Title's in the glove compartment. Made out to you."
"But Ma has to sign for it. I'm too young to have a car without her permission."
"Don't worry about it. I fixed it for ya. Here, take the keys. Let's see if you're a better driver than your Ma."
II: Sally
First, Sally saw the car.
Then, she looked at the title.
Then Laurie told her Eddie was going to teach her to drive.
The Silk Spectre hit the roof.
"Laurel Jane Juspeczyk, you are not keeping that car! And that no-good lousy Mick sunnuvabitch is not going to teach you to drive!"
"I am so keeping the car, Ma! And Eddie's a lot better driver than you are! Jesus, you act like he's some fuckin' guy that walked in off the street! I mean, you've known him since, like, the goddamn Depression, and I've known him, like, all my fucking life!"
"You have not! I wasn't dumb enough to bring him around here until you were 11!"
Laurie gave her one of her most infuriating smart-ass Eddie looks.
"What are you talking about? Ma, his sister was my babysitter. His nephew is my best friend. You used to drop me off at Edie's house all the time, when I was little, and you were trying to do, movies, or whatever. That used to be Eddie's house. He, like, lived there when I was little. He still practically lives there, for Christ's sake."
That was when the walls fell in on Sally.
All the sudden, the car and the driving lessons didn't mean a goddamn thing.
She tried to play it off.
"Go to your room!"
"Why? I didn't do anything!"
"Goddammit, Laurie, I told you to go to your room!"
Laurie gave her an odd look, and huffed out of the kitchen.
"I am not giving my car up and you can't make me! Liv's had her permit since she was 13 and she has three cars! I'll be goddamned if I'm not gonna get one!" she announced.
But Sally was already on the phone.
"Yeah, whaddya want?"
"Edie?"
"Oh, hiya Sal. What's doin?"
"Edie, how often did Eddie come around when you used to babysit Laurie?"
"What?"
"How often—"
"Yeah, I heard you, Sal, it's just a funny question. I dunno. We still call this place Eddie's house. He comes here every night he works, to change out of his costume and get his car. I mean, he's got his own key. I'd say, Jesus, when the kids were little, he'd come over at least three, maybe four afternoons a week. He useta stay here on weekends, then, too. Sometimes he still does. And then there was the drive-in on Thursday, that was up until what, a few months ago? Alla time, Sal. I mean, this is his house, and I'm his twin sister. Alla the family gathers here, yunno?"
Sally bit her lip.
"Yeah. I guess they would. Hey, thanks, Edie. I'll, ah. I'll call you later."
Sally hung up the phone, put her head in her hands, and cried.
All those years.
All those years he was going behind her back, and spending time with Laurie.
No wonder she didn't seem to care when he started coming around here, she was already used to him.
And it was my fault.
I could have got her a babysitter to come here.
Or taken her anywhere.
But I wanted her to have her family, to know them.
They're good people.
Why didn't I think, that's Eddie's house, of course he's going to go there?
Especially to see his daughter.
How many ice cream cones did he buy her?
How many walks did he take her for in Prospect Park?
How many pony rides and slices of pizza?
Trips to the zoo?
To the movies?
Larry ignored her.
He never took her anywhere.
Did Eddie make sure she had her hat on, and her coat buttoned on cold days, and hold an umbrella over her in the rain?
Did he hold her hand so she wouldn't wander off?
Maybe, when she got tired, he'd carry her.
Sally left the kitchen and went to the foot of the stairs.
"Laurie! Come down here for a minute."
She did.
"When you were little and you used to stay with Edie, did Eddie come and take you and Paulie and Pat places?"
"Sometimes."
"Did you ever go places with him, alone?"
"Yeah, Ma, I did. So what? I mean, Larry never paid any attention to me, and I felt lousy about it. Jesus, I mean, Eddie's a weird guy, he's not some kind of creep, or anything. I mean, we'd go for walks in the park, and I'd get a hot dog and an ice cream cone, or a slice of pizza, and then we went back to Edie's. When I was real little, if it rained, he'd carry me back to the car. You know. Just like a regular guy. Paulie, he was there a lot, too. And Pat. Liv too, sometimes. When we were really, really little, like when we were five, she'd run away all the time. She could run like hell, even then. And we'd run too, and make him chase us. Kid stuff. Why?"
"Nothing. I guess it's just you being old enough to drive, it makes me all sentimental. You don't have to stay in your room. Here's the title to your car, back. But, no driving it on your own until you get your licence."
"Thanks, Ma. Uh, so, Liv's comin' over in about half an hour, and me an' her an Paulie, we're gonna go to the movies or hang out at Grossmann's, or something. I'll be home by 10:30, like usual."
"That's fine, honey."
After Laurie left, Sally sat down and cried for a long time.
She was still crying when the phone rang.
"Hello?"
"Hiya Sal. You mad at me?"
"Mad at you? Mad at you! You fuckin' son of a bitch bastard, you been going behind my back all her life, haven't you?"
"Kinda hard for me to be goin' behind your back when you drop the kid off at my house for my sister to babysit her and my nephew is one of her best friends."
"What did I do it all for, then, Eddie?"
"Because you didn't want her to grow up watchin' you an' me fight. Which we woulda. Lotsa reasons, Sal. You were right, yunno."
"Yeah, well, you could have asked me about the goddamn car! And on the title, right where it says for the parent or guardian to sign, there's your name!"
"Yeah? So? I am her father, so what? Sal, you put my name on her goddamn birth certificate, for Chrissake. I mean, it's a matter of public fuckin' record."
Sally sighed, deeply.
"I don't know why I even try. I don't have to wait for you to screw me over, I do it to my fucking self. I have to go, now. I'm having dinner with Hollis and his successor. Dan Something."
"The Scoutmaster an' the Boy Scout, huh? What are ya doin' after?"
"Washin' my hair."
"Can I come over an' help?"
"I'm hanging up on you, now, Eddie, you fuckin' sunnuvabitch!"
When Sally got home that night, she didn't see Eddie's car in the immediate vicinity, but he was there, anyway, waiting for her in the kitchen.
She didn't throw him out.
What would be the point?
Upper East Side, Manhattan, 1966. The Comedian's Apartment
II: Eddie
In the years right after the war, when he was still a young pup, Eddie woke up on a lot of Saturday mornings naked and face down somewhere that wasn't his bed with a terrible hangover and no memory at all of how he had gotten there.
These days, it was something that happened to him two, three times a year, tops, but, what the hell, sometimes a man has to have a good time.
However, awakening to the sound of screaming women, face down on the floor in the can, Eddie realised he may have had a little bit too much fun.
As he tried to become ambulatory, the screaming became more clear.
"…fucking put it down, you dumb cunt, or I'll put my foot right up your ass…"
"…owww, you're hurting me…"
"…never hit a woman before, but I'll start with you…"
Something broke, there were a couple of shrill screams and he heard the front door slam.
"Jesus Christ! Eddie? Eddie, are you in here, someplace?"
Sally opened up the bathroom door just as he was staggering to his feet.
"Big night, huh, Eddie?"
"I guess so, Sal. What was all that about?"
"Oh, nothing. I came here to have an important discussion with you about our daughter and found three broads robbing you blind. Three, Eddie? What the hell were you doing with three?"
Eddie got in the shower, and turned the tap to cold.
He leaped out after a minute or two.
"The same thing ya do with one. Whaddya mean, our daughter? She's only 'our daughter' when somethin's fucked up."
"Things are fucked up, alright! They are really fucked up! What the fuck was I doin' yellin' at you at that meeting? Like you'd make a play for your own kid! I should have been yellin' at that big blue bastard! She wants to move in with Dr. Manhattan. She says they're in love. Yeah, right. I know what that sunnuvabitch has been into. And it ain't love, the dirty bastard!"
"WHAT THE FUCK?"
Eddie almost killed himself getting out of the wet shower stall.
"That's what I said when I found out! I didn't even know they were dating! I mean she told me she had a boyfriend, a steady boyfriend but I assumed he was somebody a little younger! And a color other than blue! And when I insisted she produce this guy, so I could meet him, she drops the bomb on me! So, can you think of a way to kill the son of a bitch? Because if you can, I'm up for it! That big blue nuclear reactor has been at my little girl!"
Now, Laurie was 16, and a mask, and when Eddie was 16 he was in charge of his whole family and a mask, and when Sally was 16 she was holding down two jobs, and Eddie's mother had been 15 when she married Mickey Blake, who was 20, but it was all a different story when it came to a man, and that man in particular having been at his little girl.
"I wish I knew a way, Sal! I'd do it!"
"What are we going to do?"
Eddie just looked at her.
"Jesus H. Christ! For 16 years, you do everything you can to keep me away from my own kid, and it's like pullin' teeth what time I do get with her, and then you went and told her about the Trophy room, so now she fuckin' hates me, an' now, all the fuckin' sudden, it's we?"
"What did you want me to do? Let her read it in Hollis' book? And yeah, it's we!"
"Well, if it's we, it's fucking we, then. Is she home?"
"Yes."
"Just lemme put my pants on, and we'll go."
Out of all the kids, the only one who was ever any trouble was sweet little Allie.
She was a sweet little girl until her red hair kicked in when she was 15, and then she started going crazy all over town.
Boys, booze, reefer, fast cars, the whole nine yards.
Eddie barged into her History class at FDR High one afternoon, picked her up, and carried her out the door, and to his car, with her kicking and yelling and swearing all the way.
Once he locked her in the car, and started driving, he told her the truth about her father, about how he was, and how he died, something only Ruthie, the oldest of the little kids could really recall with any clarity, and the others had almost forgotten.
Allie was a baby when their father died; she had no memory of him at all.
He dropped her and a suitcase full of her stuff off at a boarding school for girls out on Long Island; it was run by Russian and Polish nuns.
After six months, he let her come home at nights, and drove her back and forth for the next year.
Her last year, he trusted her to drive.
Allie grew up to become one of the toughest, smartest, most ruthless New York City lawyers in the history of New York City.
She never got married, never had any kids, and never moved in with any of the guys she was seeing, but she lived in the same building as Eddie, and was the go-to lawyer for every mask in New York.
If Laurie was going to start trouble, the school on Long Island was still there.
Standing there in Sal's kitchen, she was giving him that same surly fuck you kind of look her Aunt Allie had.
"Now you listen to me, Laurel Jane, and you fuckin' listen, good! You're 16 years old. You ain't old enough to spit in the street unless your Ma says you can. You sure as shit ain't old enough to shack up with a guy who's only six years younger than me, an' you'll quit school over my dead body! Now, Sal and me, we ain't dumb enough to tell youse that you can't see that big, blue cradle-robbing sunnunvabitch, because we know your mind's made up. But you ain't goin away on little trips to DC, and you ain't quittin' school, and you ain't movin' noplace!"
She looked at him like he was out of his mind.
"What gives you the right to say shit about it, Eddie? You think because you and my mother have a history, a dirty, sick history, that gives you a say over me?" she demanded.
"You wanna know what gives me the right? Listen, kid, you and me, we both know goddamn well what gives me the motherfuckin' right! You looked in a mirror, lately? When ya did, didja see anybody who looked like Rolf Mueller? We both know why you're so fuckin' mad at me, cupcake, and it don't have shit to do with somethin' that happened with me an' your Ma a long time ago before you was even born." Eddie shot back.
Sally sucked in her breath, sharply, and Laurie looked dumbfounded.
Eddie had just put words to her deepest, secret fears.
Laurel Jane, there has to be a reason why Eddie Blake's been playing Daddy to you for most of your life.
Laurie was suddenly speechless.
"Do I have your attention, kiddo? Good. Glad to see you're listenin' I put sixteen years into you, kid, an' I ain't done yet! That pencil-necked asshole who lived with you was never any kinda father to you, and I'm the closest thing you got, whether you like me, or not! So you're gonna do what your Ma tells you, an' what I tell you, or you're goin' to that convent school on Long Island, one fuckin' way!" Eddie finished.
"But I love him!" Laurie shot back.
"Love? Love! Bullshit! I loved your Ma, and she loved me, an' look where it got us! Love's the worst fuckin' reason in the world ya could ever do anything! I'm gonna go have a little talk with that cradle-robbin' blue bastard! You better fuckin' well be here when I get back. Because I'll fuckin' find you an' bring you back, and I don't give a shit of I hafta call up half the fuckin' Marines and drive the goddamn tank, myself! "
Eddie stormed out of the kitchen.
"Ma, will you really send me to school with the nuns?"
"In a heartbeat, cupcake."
"What if I escape?"
"Then you better hope Eddie finds you before I do."
Dr. Manhattan's New York Laboratory
The Comedian burst into Dr. Manhattan's lab, practically foaming at the mouth.
"Woops! Time for my coffee break." Liv Napier, the good doctor's student intern, insisted.
She made an attempt to leave in a big hurry, but Eddie grabbed her arm along the way.
Almost twenty years of being Batman didn't make Bruce Wayne's hair turn grey, but since his stepdaughter turned 13 and puberty hit her so hard she hit the whole of New York City back, he was getting streaks of grey around the temples.
Liv was Laurie's best girlfriend, and Laurie could have stood to be tough as Liv, and as streert-smart, and as good of a budding detective, but everything else she did was every man's nightmare of an out-of-control teenage daughter.
Hell, Eddie had to keep his distance from her and the yawning black hole of total fucking chaos that was her life despite promises he made to Jack and Bruce, and poor dead Merrie,ever since she put her fast little hands all over the fly of his pants at the drive-in a couple years back, with a hell of a lot more authority than you'd think a 14-year old girl would have.
Sure, he was the only one who was holding out because she was too young, but he owed Jack and Merrie Napier more than to screw their crazy daughter in the back of a Buick on a drunken Saturday night before she was even 18 years old.
But sometimes, the kid was so out of control, he had to step in, and with Laurie on the brink of disaster, he was suddenly sensitive to what a huge fucking train wreck Jack and Merrie's smart, spunky, pretty little Irsih girl daughter's life had become.
What the hell, he might as well hit them all in one day.
He grabbed Liv by the arm, and her body jumped like he had electric current running out of him.
"Yeah, Mr. Blake?"
Ostermann looked amused.
Yeah, Eddie, that's why you don't stand next to this fire. That crazy little train wreck just wants to rub her big tits and her burning bush all over you until you rip her clothes off and fuck her into next week.
And when she was a goddamn child, it was weird and sick and unthinkable, but she ain't a little girl, anymore, is she?
Eddie let go of her.
"Not so fast, there, Bonnie Parker. What's that on your pants?"
"It's blood. Occupational hazard, Mr. Blake."
"Uh-huh. I wasn't talkin' about the blood, kid"
"Oh. That."
The kid grinned at him, knowingly.
"Well, that's an occupational hazard, too." Liv replied, and winked.
Eddie wasn't having any of it.
Not today.
"Ya know somethin', kid? It ain't cute, and you an' your hey sailor, buy me a drink an' I'll suck your dick in the john routine ain't funny, either? Jesus, you're an educated broad, from a good family, and ya got no shortage of money, an' a good home. So why the fuck d'you live like a stew bum under a fuckin' bridge, an' put it on like you're some kinda shanty Irish bar whore? Ostermann, don't fuckin' sit there like a big blue paperweight, am I right?"
Dr. Manhattan cleared his throat.
"I have to agree with the Comedian. You've gone far beyond youthful high spirits, Trivelino. You're flirting with disaster. Debilitating alcoholism. Unwanted pregnancy. Dangerous back-alley abortions…"
"…gettin' beat to shit an' gang-banged by a bunch of lowlives in some dive who'll leave youse for dead in the gutter…" Eddie added.
"…incurable veneral diseases. Crippled for life in a car accident…" Jon continued.
"…end up kicked outa every mask team in New York, failin' outa college, a mush-brained toothless old whore draped over a bar on the Lower East Side singin' "Whiskey in the Jar" to nobody in particular." Eddie finished.
"Jesus. You guys are sure layin' it on thick, tonight." Liv said.
"Yeah, well, me an' your father an' your stepfather, we didn't jump through the fuckin' hoops we jumped through so you could grow up to be a drunken' fuckin' grease monkey who's fought half the lowlives in the city an' fucked the other half. You're puttin' on a costume, now, kid, and you already got your ass handed to you, big time, fuckin' twice in your first year. That oughta be tellin' you somethin'. Like maybe you should get your fuckin' shit together, sweetheart. You better listen to Bruce, and to Jack, because if you don't, someday you'll have to listen to me, an' I ain't buyin' your poor me act. I'll make you toe the fuckin' line."
Liv looked at him, blinked, and then that evil, cocky little smile crawled across her face, again.
"How you gonna do that, Mr. Blake?" she asked.
Eddie really felt like hitting her, at that point, and gave her a murderous look.
The kid didn't look scared, she smiled at him, again, like if he wanted to fight, that was okay with her, too.
"Just get the fuck out here, alright? Make tracks. I'll deal with you, later."
"Whatever you say, Mr. Blake."
Liv made herself scarce, and the Comedian whirled on Dr. Manhattan, hitting him with the full force of his rage
"Now, you and me gotta talk, Ostermann! You're goddamn lucky I can't kill you, you motherfucker! Because if I could, I woulda ripped your fuckin' spine out by now!" Eddie raged.
"Please, calm down. I expected you to be angry, Comedian. After all, she's your daughter, and I'm almost the same age as you are. But, I assure you, my intentions are honourable. I love Laurie. Very much."
That slowed Eddie down, but just a little bit.
"How did you know who the fuck I am to her?"
Dr. Manhattan shrugged.
"It's hard to explain. But I will keep the secret. Even from her."
"Uh-huh. Sure. You got honourable intentions. You want her to quit school and leave home at 16 and shack up with you, that's real fuckin' honourable, you lousy fuckin' prick!"
"What?"
He actually looked shocked.
"I most certainly do not! I assure you, Comedian, I would never do a thing like that! Laurie's much too young to leave home, and…quit school! Quit school! That would be horrible! Where did she get such an idea? I would never, ever suggest that laurie leave home and…quit school!"
Eddie almost laughed at the way Dr. Manhattan talked about quitting school like most people would talk about committing an axe murder.
"I assure you, I only want to be allowed to see Laurie. Exclusively, of course. I am not a polygamist, by nature, and I have only been in love with a woman once before in my , when I met Laurie, I realised that, perhaps, I had never really been in love at all. I don't have any other women, and I don't intend to get involved with anyone else. I am not that kind of man. I would also like to work with her, as a mask, to keep her safe, out there, on the street.I give you my word, Comedian, I never induced her to leave home or quit school. I would never encourage her, to do crazy things like that!" he protested.
"You don't have to, Doc. She's a young girl. They fall for a guy, they go fuckin' goofy in their heads."
"Trivelino is sixteen. She's not… goofy in her head."
"She ain't? You been asleep for a year? Three weeks out, the kid gets her face smashed in by three punks with a piece of rebar who got a nice rape and beating planned for her. What does she do, then? Retire to your lab, like a smart girl? Fuck no! She blows two of them away with her guns, and beats the other one to death with the rebar, ties up her face and crawls for help. Her jaw's still wired shut when she goes back on the street with a nice fresh tattoo, which is like the fifth or sixth she's got. An' she came to Laurie's first Watchmen meeting drunk two days after takin' a bullet in the guts. You were there. You saw her. Which she took halfway through a fire-fight with a gang in the South Bronx, and didn't even realise her vest hadn't completely stopped it until after the fight was over. Then, not a week later, she puts on a fuckin' disguise and goes after Veidt in an alley because she don't like what he said about her father and the Bat, and manages to give him a shiner. You're damn right she ain't goofy in the head, Liv's plain old fuckin' nuts! She's probably out there pourin' whiskey into her coffee, an' tryin' to get the coffee boy to go down on her, because the only thing she got that's itchier than her trigger finger is her four alarm fire red pussy. She's goofy in her head, alright. She's just not goofy in a normal way, because nobody ever taught her how to act like a broad, just how to act like a mask, and she's a fuckin' brain and her father's the Joker and her mother, rest her soul, was the best witch in Brooklyn. You're outta touch, Doc. Things are different for the rest of us mere mortals in the real world."
"I admit, that might be the case. But I do love Laurie. And I want what's best for her."
"So do I. What you wanna do is talk to her about alla this goofy shit goin' on in her mind. And fuckin' thank Christ she ain't crazy like her good buddy Liv Napier is. You tell her she's gotta stay home, an' finish school. You tell her she ain't goin' noplace with you until she's twenty-one fuckin' years old!"
"I certainly will. You know, Comedian, I always thought that Trivelino's problem was that her father, albeit through no fault of his own, left her life for so many years when she was just a girl."
"That and she saw he Ma die, real hard, right in front of her."
"But she doesn't remember that. At least, not consciously. But, my point is, I think that she would benefit from having an older man in her life. Someone who would look after her. Now, and I might add, through no fault of your own, you were only an intermittent father figure in Laurie's life. Maybe if she's with, well, someone like me, she'd be better off."
The Comedian gave him a dirty look.
"Yeah, well, if ya put it that way, it's probably a lot better her bein' with you than some fuckin' little bastard who'd teach her to drink and knock her up."
"I worry about her, working alone. I want her to be safe. You can trust me with your daughter, Comedian."
They were both, all of the sudden, thinking about Liv Napier, sitting at the end of a dive bar, drunk at two in the morning, banged up from the fight she had in the street, eyeing the local talent and trying to decide if she wanted to get some action or start a bar fight.
Staggering home all beat to Hell in the wee hours of the morning, and Bruce Wayne at home, looking at the clock, glad to see that she was just alive and in one piece.
Until the next day, when he'd have to start looking at the clock and wondering when or if his little girl was coming home, again.
Neither one of them wanted to see that happen to Laurie.
"You do know if anything happens to her, even if I hafta get every egghead brainiac on God's Green Earth to figure out how, I'll kill you."
"Understood. Now, if you'll excuse me, I think I'd better get Trivelino back from her coffee break, and see to it I transport her directly home before she ends up at the bar. She is the one I really worry about."
"You let me worry about that kid. Me and the Bat and Jack."
"Well, maybe you could use some help. Like all you can get."
"Probably."
"I'll take care of the kid." Eddie told Dr. Manhattan.
III: Eddie and Liv
Eddie felt his rage ebbing away, as he left the Doc's lab,
Which was bad, because without his rage, he was a grown man, 41 years old, still wrestling with a mistake he made when he was 16.
A mistake that made it nigh onto impossible to protect his own daughter from the fate that befell his friend's daughter, so that he had to rely on another man to keep her safe.
Not to mention that all there was between him and Sally was a few stolen nights a few months out of the year.
She'd never let him get close enough to really be a man to her, either.
To live with her, to keep her safe, to have something like a normal life.
After everything he'd done, for his family, for his country, for New York City, didn't he deserve to have something like a normal life.
But his daughter wasn't his, the only woman he could ever have imagined having as a wife, the only woman he ever really loved, she wasn't his, either.
Forty one years old, and as a man, what have I got to show for my life?
Jack shit.
"Jesus, Mr. Blake, you look like I feel. You alright?"
The kid appeared at his elbow.
"Did you fuckin' know that Laurie's been takin' rides on the big blue pony?' he demanded, dredging up some residual anger.
Liv's jaw dropped.
"Fuckin' hell! Laurie and the Doc? You gotta be kiddin' me! No. She didn't tell me shit. Is it, yunno, serious."
"Yeah. They're in love."
Liv laughed, derisively.
"And ain't love grand. For some people. For others, it's just another fuckin' kick in the teeth." She observed.
Eddie had noplace to go, no one to see.
Sure he could have gone to Sal's, but right now that would hurt like a kick in the teeth. And he had any number of broads he'd got out of jams that left their windows open at night for his secong story fire escape back door man routine. Not to mention there was no shortage of women who were crazy over guys in masks, he was a change in his costume away from his pick of broads, and not all of them crazy mask groupies.
But Eddie felt desperate, and he felt low, and he just wanted to spend a little time with somebody who gave a fuck whether Edward Morgan Blake lived or died, and fuck the costume.
Liv hadn't gone anywhere, she lit a cigarette.
"Hey, kid, you wanna go to a movie, or somethin'? I mean, you better keep your hands off my cock, but, yunno, I mean, do ya?"
Her little face shone so bright with her thousand watt smile that even with the shiner she looked good.
"Do I? Shit, that would be great! Tonight's my night off, yunno. Ya think we could go to Grossmann's first? I'm starvin'. An' I promise, I won't make any unwanted attempts on the whitened citadel of your virtue, Mr, Blake."
"You're funny, kid. C'mon. Let's get the fuck outa this dump, it's depressing as Hell."
III: Laurie
"Liv, I'll never understand you. Don't you believe in love?"
Liv laughed, harshly, and took another drink and another drag on her cigarette.
"Yeah, love. Right. Sure. Not the kind you do. Like on a fuckin' Bee Gees record. That shit's for suckers. Saps. Morons. It's sentimental bullshit. Bullshit they tell you how ain't love grand. Sure. Sometimes, But sometimes it ain't. You know what love is, Lar? It's all consuming. Insectile. It eats you up from the guts out, an' leaves you a big empty hole, full of scars an' fire."
Liv took another drink, and put the bottle back in the glove compartment.
Laurie was slightly taken aback.
Most of the time, Liv was full of macho bravado and everything was a big laugh, but when she got in her philosophical moods, like now, that's' when you got to know what she was really thinking.
And Laurie was thinking that Liv seemed to share the same opinion about love that her mother did.
But, Laurie knew her mother got soured on love, forever, because that son of a bitch Eddie Blake tried to rape her, and it fucked her up so badly, she never could manage to love anyone but him.
Sick, twisted, wrong.
"Jesus, Liv, what kind of love is that?"
Liv smiled, grimly.
"Worst kind. But it's all I've got, Lar. My love's the only thing in me that's good a decent and pure, aside from my blood an' my honor. I wouldn't trade it for the world. Even if it kills me."
Laurie shook her head.
"I have no fuckin' idea what you're talking about. What, are you saying you're in love with whiskey and bar fights and car crashes and screwing complete strangers? Because that will kill you, someday."
"Hey, at least I'm my own woman."
"No, you're anybody's woman who's mean enough to remind you of that son of a bitch Eddie Blake."
"Ya know what? Fuck you."
She laughed, but Laurie could tell she'd hit a nerve.
Later, she was talking to her mother about the conversation she'd had with Liv.
Sally just shook her head.
"Laurie, I want you to try and understand something. I love Eddie. I don't know why. And I know you think that the reason, if I loved him, that I never married him was because I couldn't forgive him for what he did to me. But I forgave him for the trophy room a long time ago. The reason I only see Eddie two or three days a week with sometimes as much as six months inbetween is because I can't love him enough. I love Eddie in spite of himself; I love what's good in him. But the bad side of him, the violent, amoral, brutal side of him, his rages and his bloodlust and his fury; it scares me. He comes by it honestly, and I don't think Eddie's a bad man, but I could never live with someone who's capable of the kinds of things Eddie is. I love him as much as I can love him, but I can never love him to accept him the way he is, and say, well, that's alright. Because, like any sane person, there's a part of me that fears him. Do you understand?"
Laurie took another drag on her cigarette and thought about it.
"I don't know, Ma. I understand what you're saying, but I still don't see how anyone could love a man like that, at all."
"Then this part is going to be even harder for you to understand. Your friend Liv, brawling, swaggering, mean as a snake, macho Liv, who won't ever settle down with one man as long as she lives, no matter who ends up being the rooster in the henhouse, she's truly, madly, deeply in love with Eddie Blake."
"What? Ma, that's ridiculous! I mean, I know she has, like, a thing for him, but that's just Liv. Her and her dirty superhero magazines and books and comics. It's like, yunno, her hobby."
"This goes way beyond Liv and her compulsive sex life. She loves Eddie. I can tell by the way she looks at him. And she loves him the way I never could. Completely. I love him in spite of the fact that he's a crazy, violent wild man, and she loves him because he is. And she has since she was about 13 years old. They put people in nut houses for feeling about other people the way Liv feels about Eddie. And now that she's older, I can see it coming out in Eddie, too. He's drawn to her like a moth flying into a lighted candle. When they collide, it isn't going to be pretty."
"You know, Ma, you don't sound too upset."
"I'm not, Laurie. The last five years with Eddie, they've been good and bad, but despite what he thinks, they haven't been what either of us want, or need. Especially not Eddie. He's a good man, in his way. And Liv's a good girl, she's just troubled. They need each other. Liv needs someone to guide her through the rest of her teenage years, show her the ropes, keep her out of trouble. Someone she respects and trusts, someone who does the same kind of street work she does, in the same way. And Eddie's given his whole life to other people, since he was a boy, without getting much in return. He deserves to have a woman who can really be his woman, someone who loves him without fearing him. Someone who understands him. Someone to make the second act of his life easier than the first. And I deserve to have a life of my own. I'm not saying I don't want Eddie to be part of it. But I can't be his woman. I'm not crazy enough. I'm not strong enough. That's all."
Laurie lit another cigarette.
"How the fuck could you, or Liv, or anybody, for that matter, be in love with a guy like Eddie Blake?"
"How could you be in love with a guy like Jon Ostermann? He may not even be completely human." Sally replied.
Laurie suddenly got her mother's point.
"Okay, Ma. I get it. It's been a long day. I'm goin' to bed."
IV: Sally
Sally wanted to tell Laurie that she didn't get it.
She wanted to say that for all his flaws, at least Eddie was still just a man, and he saw the world the way other men saw it and lived in it the way other men lived in it, as mortals, subject to cold and heat and passion and pain.
By those standards, the loftiest of masks with the craziest range of powers, even the virtually indestructible Superman and Wolverine were just men.
But Dr. Manhattan transcended what it was to be human or even she supposed, Kryptonian.
He didn't live in any place or any time, and he'd be just as fine and dandy on the moon or the North Pole or two miles under the ocean or at the beginning of time as he was having coffee in his lab while he went over his notes.
Then, there was the thing that disturbed her the most.
You could say a lot of bad things about Eddie Blake, and he had done a lot of bad things, but one thing about Eddie, he didn't, perhaps couldn't kill in cold blood. Sure, he had enough rage in him that he could go from laughing to homicidal without wiping the smile off of his face, but Eddie wasn't a murderer or an assassin; he wasn't going to kill without passion or reason
With Eddie, it always had to be personal.
Even his most cold-blooded act, the assassination of President Kennedy, had deeply personal roots.
She'd asked him about it, one drunken night, and Eddie surprised her by admitting to her that he was the man behind the grassy knoll.
She was about to yell at him for having become a puppet for the right wing when he followed up his confession by saying that "they" could have got ten or twenty different guys for the job, but as soon as Eddie heard the murmurs in the grapevine, he volunteered for the task.
"I hated that sunnuvabitch Jack Kennedy. He was a fuckin' hypocrite. Smilin' an' waving, actin' like he was this athletic All-American Boy, with his perfect family. Bullshit. It was all fuckin' bullshit. The guy was fuckin' sicklier than most guys three times his age, and all he did was chase tail. An you know, his fuckin' father, that Joe Kennedy cocksucker, he was a fuckin' bootleggin' Mick gangster motherfucker, he wasn't many rungs higher up the ladder than my old man, an' you know Jack usedta put on the dog with me? He fuckin' called me a shanty Irish thug, right to my face, more'n once, and it wasn't just the booze talkin'. That guy treated me like a fuckin' dog, like I was his on-call pimp, drinkin' buddy an' all-purpose gofer. An' you shoulda seen the way he treated them broads. Jesus. I mean, it was like a revolvin' fuckin' door. An' he was a shitty fuckin' chief executive. His fuckin' mobbed up cocksucker father bought him that election with all his greaseball buddies, and once Jack got in the Oval Office, all he knew how to do was turn it into a fuckin' photo opportunity by day an' a whorehouse at night. Not that fuckin' Bull Johnson is any FDR, but at least you get what you see with him, and the man fuckin' recognises that I'm an important fuckin' guy in the US government, not his personal whoremaster. You don't understand. I did Jack Kennedy's wife, and this country a big fuckin' favor. There's one shanty Irish bastard who won't be pullin' his lace curtain routine on me, ever again."
So, Eddie thought the president should have been assassinated because, in his capacity working in the intelligence community he thought that JFK was some kind of threat to national security, but he carried the job out himself because he hated the man, personally.
And Dr. Manhattan?
He could vaporise people with a wave of his hand; turn them into a bloody jelly with the odd bone sticking out of it, without even thinking twice.
Laurie thought that Sally was crazy and that Liv Napier was crazier because they were both in love with a man who was a monster.
But, Sally realised, that she, and probably Liv, and Eddie too, they thought Laurie was crazy because she was in love with a man who quite possibly wasn't anything at all.
(Author's Note: Well, it looks like Sally's really going to try to make a break for it. And Laurie's going to ride off into the sunset with Dr. Manhattan. And Eddie? Well, he gets to be the bad guy again. But, there's always the bad girl. Isn't it about time Eddie got the girl, instead of the shoe? And you and I both know that no matter where Sally goes, or what she tells herself, she's not going to get rid of Eddie that easily. And nor does she wish to. And, as nobly as she might seek to let someone else bask in the full sunshine of Eddie's love, should it come to pass, will she be as glad as she thinks to see him ride off into the sunset with someone else. Be careful, Sally. You can't eat your cake, and have it too.)