This stemmed from a chaptered fic called 'Sins of The Father' by Seraphalexiel, xShawnsGuardianAngelx, and wrestlefan4. It was inspired a lot by Sera and her Ric. It's been emotional hell for me.

At The Crossroads

So, I guess you can pretty much see that so far the little pieces of our crazy lives Ric and I have shared with you have been the wild times. Sure it's fun to share this stuff, and I bet you all have gotten some great laughs out of it but I mean, it wasn't all just fun and games with us. Yeah, we were rowdy and wild, but sometimes that got us into more trouble than it was worth. There were times when we got into some serious shit. There were plenty of hard times when we just held onto each other, and cried. That's right, I said we cried. I didn't make a habit of it or anything, but I am a human being, I shed tears just like the next person does.

You know, maybe things are different now, but for one thing back then when we started out—and I'm talking about late seventies was when Ric and I first met—it wasn't easy to be two men in that kind of a relationship. That was one of our biggest hardships we had to deal with, really. We had to keep things as close to the chest as possible, that's just how it was. The sixties and seventies had the hippie free love revolution and all that shit, but you've gotta know that even with a lot of people broadening their views on stuff like that, it still wasn't really acceptable, and especially in our line of work. I always found it so weird how so many were secretly into that kind of thing, and yet the same guys who did were the biggest fucking bigots and pricks, going round picking on (or attempting to pick on) guys who wore "skirts" or sequined robes. Hell, they knew better than to push me too far, my temper wasn't nothing less than legendary around the locker room. I wasn't called Hot Scot just for shits and giggles, I was hot-headed. Roddy Piper learned early on not to take shit from people. If you don't fuck the people who fuck you, then you're just gonna spend your whole life on your back being used up, and that sure as hell was never gonna be me.

Anyway, I guess I got off on a little rant there—let me get back to this thing. What I was trying to get across is that Ric and I had all sorts of heavy stuff we had to deal with. It was a different level of craziness than never ending drunk nights, jail stays, Caddy crashes, parties, all that stuff. It seemed like there was rarely anything ho-hum or SSDD with us. The highs were way the fuck out there, and the lows, well they were just about as deep as the darkest pit of the ocean I'd say. Me and him always had to be drastic I guess, but it was good that we'd both found each other like that because no one else would have been able to handle us they way we handled each other.

I know I've kind of said this stuff before, but I don't know. I guess I just want people to get it or something. I'm really not sure. Hell, maybe I'm just still trying to delay this one particular thing here. I want to talk about and get it off my chest real bad, but at the same time, I've never spoke about it to anyone—for years and years. I never even really told Ric how I really felt that day, I just couldn't do it. It's always haunted me that I didn't, because then maybe things would have been different. I thought about sitting him down and doing it now, but now hell, it wouldn't be of any use now.

See, I doubt you all really know this about Ric. Maybe you've heard some of these rumors flapping around about Shawn Michaels and A.J. Styles, you know the ones I mean? Well, you can take it from a man who don't lie (alright, so I might just exaggerate things from time to time, just a little bit…but I sure as hell have no reason to lie to anyone about anything) that those rumors carry truth to them.

That's what this thing is about. I gotta tell you if you stick around for this story, it's not going to be so funny as the last ones. Don't worry, I don't plan to shove every burden of mine off onto you folks, I mostly love telling a good story, one that can make people smile. But I just have to, with things how they are right now, so tense between all three of them, I just have to get this off my chest. It's been eating at me, and I'm tired of it.

When Ric and I had something big to do, we always did it together. I knew Ric would back my ass up through anything. I could count on Ric to stand next to me and never waver, even if I told him we were going to fight a fucking tornado (and no, we never did that in case you're wondering, ha) and Ric knew I'd do the same for him.

Well, Ric took me along when he went to talk with A.J.'s mother. If was hot as fuck that day, I remember that so vividly I'm about to start sweating right now. It had to be one of the hottest damn summers ever, and maybe it was worse because I didn't have such a great feeling about this whole thing. I already knew how Ric felt about having a second child now getting ready to be birthed into his life. There were so many nights I spent up with him, as he cried over it, worried over it, drank himself to shit over it, and everything else. He asked me over and over for my word of advice on it, me having four kids of my own I guess he thought I oughta know something right to say. I mean, I had my own ideas sure. I've always been a strong family man even when me and Kitty called it quits. That's another dark place that came up with me and Ric, but I'm not gonna go into that now. I honestly don't want to think about how that was for me, and some of it I was so fucked up I don't ever remember.

But anyway, even when we weren't an official family anymore I never forgot my kids. See, my dad was a real fucking douche bag—don't even get me started I could go on for a year or more tearing that fucker from one side to the other and then back again. I always told myself I would never be that kind of a person to my kids, if I was gonna do one thing right in my life it was gonna be that. My line of work put me away from my babies a lot but be sure of it that any time I could I was right there. I wish I could have been there more, but I had to do what I had to do to make a living and send off the money to make sure my kids had everything I never got. That's what was always on my mind before every match I ever did after my first daughter was born. From then on it was always for the kiddies. I never missed sending them what they needed, I did whatever I had to do to make sure of it. Any dumb fuck can father a child but you've gotta grow a set and step up to be a father. Even though I was away so much, I still busted my ass trying.

To be honest, my code of manhood told Ric to step up and be a man and do what needed to be done, but I never said that to him. I loved Ric and, well I don't know. I didn't want to push him to do something he didn't really feel convicted to do in his heart. I could have pushed him all day long to take care of his responsibilities but I think he should have done it because he knew that and because he wanted to, not because I was on his back about it or something. So, I never really pushed him too hard be involved in A.J.'s life. A.J.'s mom had made things pretty black and white, but still, I think now that maybe that was wrong of me not to try. If anyone could have gotten through to Ric, it could have been me. I often wonder how things might be different now if I would have said something else or nudged harder, but there's no way to tell. I guess I just feel horrible that A.J. had to grow up without his father in his life, without nothing, when he had a Daddy that despite what he chose—was a good man.

I couldn't imagine having a son, knowing about him, and not ever really knowing him. It just ain't in my nature I guess, but like I said I didn't say much to Ric about it. As ballsy as I was over practically everything, that was one time when I maybe needed to be but chose to back off instead. I just wish I could know if I did right or wrong. I've wanted to try and make up for my part in it, but I don't really know how. I even sent money to A.J. and his momma sometimes when I had some extra, because I still knew where they were, and because I got it. I mean, I knew how it was to be with nothing. I took off from home at thirteen and for most of my teenage years I lived on the street or in and out of youth hostels around Canada. I ate other peoples half eaten food, I played my bagpipes for pennies to try and have a little something, I did a lot of things I'm not proud of now just to survive. I understood A.J.'s mom and their situation in a way Ric couldn't get. Ric's Daddy was a doctor and as far as that goes he had it pretty okay. I understood scratching and scrounging for anything and everything, and it really bothered me when little A.J. and his mom came to my mind and I knew they could use help, that Ric could make things easier on them just by sending a check in the mail, and he didn't.

I'm not trying to demonize Ric here, I love him. Ric's a great guy, he's a hell of a guy. It's just in this part of his life, he kind of missed the mark. I can't put it out to be nicer than this, because it wasn't nice. All I can say is the truth, and Ric gets that. He knows, and he regrets I think, the way things happened. But there's no changing the past just trying to make the best of the twisted thing the past has grown itself into as the now, if that makes any sense. Sometimes I wonder if I do, but I try.

Of course, as I always do I've went and lost track again.

It was summer like I said, so fucking hot. It was that kind of hot that makes the air feel like honey stuck to your skin. I hated it so much, I mean I grew up in a damn tundra so you get the idea! I wasn't made for that stuff. Well, Ric had actually let me drive for once. For some reason he thought I was a reckless driver (let me tell you it was all him) but he was too nervous that day to think about touching the wheel, so I got to man the boat. Ric spent most of the drive quiet as a mouse which was even more awkward, because we always found endless crap to talk about. Usually, our conversations ended up in the gutter, but today there wasn't hardly even a peep out of Ric. I even tried a few times, and ended up holding a conversation with myself.

Ric kept leaning up against the window glass and rubbing at the middle of his forehead like he had a bad headache. His platinum hair fell just over the collar of his shirt, and it was sweaty and stuck together around his temples and some to his forehead. I can't believe how clearly I can remember it all, like I'm still there. He always wore some fancy sunglasses, and they hid the anxiety I knew was in his eyes.

We pulled into the trailer park and Ric let out a long sigh. We were almost there, now just searching for the number that belonged to her. She had bugged Ric, demanding to speak to him personally, until he finally agreed to it. I kept my eyes watching for that number, passing each dusty, desolate looking place. It just felt bad being there, because you could tell it was a place where people either went on struggling from day to day, or had just plain given up.

One place we passed there was a herd of little kids playing out in the yard with grimed up faces, kids that were probably picked on in school for the place they lived in, kids that would probably be here their whole lives. Another there was this old man sitting out in a lawn chair, broken pieces of the lattice work hanging off of the bottom, looked like it would collapse on him at any moment. His steely hair was all swirled up like some sorta sloppy birds nest, and empty cans were scattered all around his feet. He just looked lost, like he didn't give a fuck at all. The whole place just gave off this vibe of desperation, and it didn't feel like it was right to raise a kid there.

We stopped outside the right trailer. It was small and pink, well actually it was more like pink smeared up with pencil smudges. There was a line strung up with clothes hanging off of it, and I noticed one of the windows was busted up, that fix all duct-tape plastered all over it. I waited for Ric to get out, but he just sat there for what seemed like the longest time with his hand white-knuckled around the door handle.

"Pipes…" He finally practically squeaked out.

"Ric, I'm not going with you up there. I'm staying out here in the car, this is all you." I said, watching as his hand moved instead to the lock and toyed with the little lever pushing it up and down. Click, click. Click, click. Click, click.

"I know." He said quietly.

"Well, get your ass out of here then!" I reached over him and opened the door for him, and practically shoved him out of the car.

With a frustrated sigh, I closed the door as he stood there with his hands shoved into the pockets of his slacks, and prodded the toe of his shoe into the tall grass. I rolled the windows down, needing some air in there—did I mention it was hotter than the devils asshole that day? Well, it was.

I was just about to get out of the car, drag Ric up the steps, knock on the door, then bolt back for the car like some horrible, twisted prank but finally I didn't have to. Ric dawdled, but he eventually got up to the door. He knocked a few times, waited shifting from foot to foot, knocked again, and finally came back to the car. He leaned in through the rolled down window and ran a trembling hand through his hair.

"Roddy, I don't think she's home man. Let's…let's just go."

"She wouldn't have had you come all this way out here about something like this if she wasn't gonna be here for it."

Ric shook his head.

"I…don't know if I can…" He choked up, dropping his head a little, and a couple tears rolled out from beneath those dark tinted glasses.

Ric felt bad about it, I do believe that. Like I said, I spent so many nights up with him bawling like a baby on me, that I knew. It wasn't some cold-hearted snap decision he made, he agonized over it. In the end you know what he picked, and that was what Ric had to live with for so many years.

"Pipes, let's just go." Ric pulled the door open, and had his butt just about halfway onto the seat when the front door creaked opened. A small little lady with dark hair and a big pregnant belly moved out onto the porch. She reminded me a lot of my Kitty, actually. Ric sighed heavily. He turned and moved towards her, shuffling his feet and kicking dust up on his good shoes. He ran a hand through his fluffy platinum hair.

I couldn't hear most of what they said, and didn't want to. I wasn't there to eavesdrop or nose into anyone elses business, that's not my way. I did hear it when they started to get loud though, there wasn't any not hearing then.

I'm not going to have you popping in and out of my sons life, being nothing in his mind but a dog-eared photo that he wishes was real—a strangers face that haunts his dreams and leaves him crying in the dark. No Ric, no. I don't care who you are, I don't care if you're the King of the Universe, it doesn't matter! You're either going to be a father to my boy, or you're not. You're in, or you're out. I'm not going to torture my son's life with a ghost.

The last of her words wobbled just a little bit. I could tell just from hearing their shouted tremble that she was doing her best to keep a brave heart, and not let the tears fall. My own head was hung sadly as the loud part of the conversation unfolded, and I'd tried to occupy myself with picking at the leather steering wheel cover rather than glancing up to the porch where the two figures stood. Just for a moment, I did though. Her small form was squared strong and proudly, and Ric was slumped and pitiful. I have never seen him rendered so powerless. I have never seen Ric look as defeated as he did that day, and even now, it brings tears to my eyes.

Ric came back to the car, his shoulders fallen, his head bowed. He slipped into the seat and more slick trails made way down his cheeks. I reached over and took his hand, and he squeezed mine.

"Thanks Pipes." He said quietly, his voice nearly stopped up with emotion. "I…I wanna get out of here."

So, I got Ric out of there. He was real quiet the rest of the trip. The only other thing he asked me was 'Did I do the right thing?' and I felt like a douchebag because I couldn't bring myself to give him an answer. Seems like a lot of times in life, we never really know anything. I think lotsa times in life we just have to pick a way, pay the tolls as we go, and hope that once we reach the end of that long stretch, we're not damned for reading the map wrong, and getting lost.

Yeah, I guess that's how I see it, at least. As for Ric, he's not a bad man, not by a long shot. He just took the wrong exit a couple of times, and then he couldn't go back.