Disclaimer: Not Mine

Author's Notes: This chapter is all 'awwwww', lol. Well, I think so anyway. Draco does a bit of growing up and there is a delightful kiss.

And the cookie for the review that made me smile last week goes to... Mina Hikari who said that both Harry and Draco were stupid in their own ways... so cookies to you my dear! *mwah*

Anyway, enjoy this chapter and love to you all.

jamie xxxx

oh, PS. Just wanted to add that I suck at replying to reviews, but I do read and appreciate every one of them. Maybe champagne this week for the one that makes me smile the most.

'Harry…' Draco started, moving to his feet in an instinctive need to draw Harry closer so he could explain.

'Don't worry, Draco,' Potter interrupted. 'I'm just here for breakfast.'

Draco blinked. 'All right,' he said warily and sat back down again. Very aware that Pansy and his mother were still in the room and hanging on every word and gesture he and Harry made, Draco refrained from engaging Harry in any in-depth conversations. They would have to wait for another time.

Harry sat down and told the elf what he'd like for breakfast, Pansy sipped her coffee and his mother finished the last of her big breakfast. Draco, on the other hand, could barely keep his eyes from Harry, trying to determine from an action or a facial gesture what his thoughts might be.

Contrary to what he'd always thought about Harry wearing his heart on his sleeve, the look on Harry's face now was inscrutable. Draco frowned, cursing Harry for not giving him any clues about how to behave. It was especially vexing as Draco had never before admitted to having a crush quite like the one he had on Harry. Some help in knowing how not to stuff it all up would have been appreciated.

'Good morning, Harry,' Narcissa said. Pansy echoed the sentiment, and Harry politely nodded to the ladies and gave them a smile.

'I hope you both enjoyed the dinner last night,' he said.

'We did, Harry, thank you.'

'Good, I'm glad,' he said, smiling at them in a way that made Draco's heart flutter just a fraction in jealousy because he was not its beneficiary. Maybe never would be again. 'Narcissa, you definitely look like you enjoyed yourself.' Harry grinned at her, and Draco saw the resultant blush stain his mother's cheeks. Harry was becoming entirely too good at playing the charming host. Draco had to admit it sat well on him though.

'Yes, well,' she began, 'I think I shall retire and freshen up. It wouldn't do to spend the whole day in my evening robes, now, would it?' She stood and moved to Draco, pressing a kiss to his temple. 'I'll let the caterers know about the extras for your party, dear.'

'Thank you, Mother,' Draco replied, giving her a smile. When he turned to look back at Harry, the shutters had fallen down over his eyes and Draco was at a loss to know what he was thinking again.

'Extras?' Pansy asked. 'Draco, I'm not sure that we have room for extras.'

'Pans, it's for Theo and a few other old school friends. I invited them last night. Theo was overly-grateful,' Draco said, answering Pansy but directing the answer to Harry in the hopes that he'd see that Theo snogging him was out of gratitude and not an actual come-on, even if Draco's plan had been to make Harry jealous.

'I'm sure he was,' Harry snorted.

'Oh, that's why he was eating your face, then?'

Draco groaned. Pansy was nothing if not blunt. 'Crudely put, but, yes: Theo was terribly grateful to be issued an invitation to the social event of the year. He was probably drunk and didn't realise what he was doing.' Again he directed his comment at Harry, but Harry nonchalantly continued with his breakfast and paid no attention to Draco at all.

'Although from the way some people act, even if one is attacked with no provocation it still seems to be their fault. Doesn't seem very rational to blame the victim, now, does it, Pansy?'

Pansy switched her gaze several times between Draco and Harry and in the end sighed. 'I'll leave the two of you to sort it out, then. But you're both behaving like children and I don't know why I bother with ether of you.' She stood. 'Draco, you have a robe fitting at three this afternoon and then you have the day off. I am going to see if I can dig Blaise out from the rock he crawled under last night with that blonde thing in the white dress.'

'Blaise went home with Susan Bones?' Harry asked.

'That's her name? Huh.' Pansy frowned. 'Didn't we go to school with a Susan Bones?'

'Yes, she was in Hufflepuff.'

'Ah.' Pansy brightened. 'That would explain why I didn't know her name.' She wrinkled her nose. 'Why on earth would he go with a Hufflepuff?'

'Maybe he's grown up,' Harry replied.

Pansy gave him a long look, then shook her head. 'No, I don't think so. She looked very pretty last night and Blaise never could say no to a pretty girl.' She turned to Draco. 'You'll notice Blaise doesn't have calluses on his hands, darling.'

'You bitch,' Draco exclaimed, blushing when Harry laughed. It was the first really natural thing he'd done the whole morning. Draco scowled.

'Well if someone wasn't such a prude, there'd be no need for my hands to develop calluses, would there?' It was silly and childish, but Harry's laugh had stung. And besides, there was a modicum of truth in it. Not that Draco had calluses but that Draco wouldn't need to wank if Harry stopped being so stubborn.

Draco stood. 'Suddenly the air in here feels frightfully stuffy. Pans, I'll show you to the door if you're leaving.'

He took her arm and before she could even say goodbye to Harry, he dragged her out the door.

'What is the matter with you?' she demanded as soon as they were out of earshot.

'Nothing. The sooner Potter and his Aurors find and catch whoever is trying to kill us and gets the hell out of my house the better.'

'Merlin, Draco, what happened last night?'

'Just the next step in the seduction plan, that's all,' Draco replied, not looking at her.

'That's not all. I can always tell when you're lying. Something happened last night - tell me what it was,' she demanded.

Draco sighed. 'He seems to be under the impression that before anything can happen between us I need to make some sort of commitment.'

'And? What's the problem with that?'

Draco looked at her as if she were mental. 'I am not planning on spending my life with him. What happened to use him and spit him out?'

'Draco, stop and think about it.' She sounded exasperated. 'If you are using him, why does it matter what you say to him to get him into your bed? The whole thing is a lie, isn't it?'

That was just the thing - it wasn't a lie any more and with that observation came the desire to tell Harry what he wanted to hear for all the right reasons, not the wrong ones. After the outburst Harry'd just heard, it was unlikely Draco would get the chance to say what he wanted to say. Not any time soon, anyway.

He nodded at Pansy, just wanting her to go in case he blurted out the truth. He wasn't ready for anyone to hear that yet. If ever. And especially not until Harry knew.

Before he could do that, though, he needed to find a way to apologise to Harry without the conversation descending into a fight, verbal or physical – no matter how tempting that was to Draco's libido. For as long as he'd known Harry they'd had trouble communicating, and every imagined slight or off-putting comment sent them straight back to behaving like school children.

It was time for a different approach.

Which was all very well, but when he returned to the breakfast room after saying goodbye to Pansy, Harry had already left.

'Pippy!' he called.

The house-elf popped up beside him. 'Yes, Master Draco?'

'Did Harry tell you where he was going?'

'Harry Potter is informing Pippy that he is to be visiting friends and will return in time to escort you to your appointment.'

Draco pursed his lips, bothered that his apology plans had been thwarted so neatly. It was almost like Harry was avoiding him. Previously, Harry had been happy enough to stay close to the Manor during the times Draco had no official appointments. Not that Draco blamed Harry for escaping the Manor after hearing Draco's petty insults, as he'd done this morning.

'Tell Mister Potter that I will meet him in the entry hall at ten minutes to three this afternoon for him to accompany me to the tailor.'

'Yes, Master.' The elf bowed and left the room.

With nothing productive to occupy his time, Draco wandered through the Ballroom to check how the decorations for his birthday were proceeding. But after watching the workers scurrying around building this and painting that, he decided that they didn't need his help anyway and, restless, headed back to his room to examine what he'd been trying to put off all day.

Taking a bath had always helped him think in the past, so he ran the water and added his favourite oils, letting their aroma surround him and settle his restlessness. When the water was ready, he undressed and stepped into the bath, sitting down and absorbing the warmth of the water through his skin. It settled the final vestiges of anxiety and he sighed in relief.

Several minutes later, after having done nothing more than clear his mind, Draco fell asleep, the relaxation of the water finally enabling him to rest.

He was awoken some time later by the noise of Pippy Apparating into the room.

'What is it, Pippy?' Draco blearily looked around, finding himself still cocooned in the charmed warmth of the bath. He was thankful for the warming charm on the water, without it he'd be shivering with cold alongside looking as wrinkled as a prune.

'Master, Pippy is thinking that you is to be getting out of the bath now, sir. You is getting all wrinkled.'

'Thank you, Pippy. What time is it?' he asked as he dragged himself from the bath and then wrapped himself in a warm fluffy towel.

'It is being nearly two in the afternoon. Will Master require lunch before his appointment?'

'I don't think so, Pippy; I had rather large, late breakfast. I believe that will be adequate until I return home. Has Harry arrived home yet?'

'Very well, Master. Yes, Mister Harry Potter is in his room, sir.'

'Good. Thank you, Pippy, that will be all.' Once dressed he would go and sort this thing out with Harry once and for all.

'Master?'

'Yes, what is it?' He looked at the elf and noticed the glint of mischief in his eye. This was becoming a regular occurrence. Draco wasn't sure that he liked the elves becoming this forward.

'Pippy is thinking, Master, that we is preparing lunch in case there is any walls crashed into.'

Draco frowned. Was everyone going to mock his love life? Pippy was becoming decidedly too familiar, no matter how long he'd been with the family. 'Ironing your hands ought to remind you of your place,' he warned.

'Yes, Master.' Pippy bowed, looking mightily pleased with himself.

Draco shook his head and sighed. Bloody conscience wouldn't let him do that any more either. What was happening to him? Had the spell been laced with Hufflepuff genes as punishment or something?

'Oh, go on with you. No punishment; you like it too much,' Draco huffed. Bloody cheeky elf.

When the elf left, Draco dried off carefully and dressed casually, before walking down the hall to Harry's room. Still Draco had no idea what to say to Harry, but he knew he needed to be genuine for his apology to mean anything.

Taking a deep breath, he knocked on the door.

Several moments later, Harry opened the door and the first thing Draco noticed was that Harry truly was beautiful. Even with a swollen lip from last night. Still. Before it had been Harry's eyes that made Draco forget to think, now it seemed to be the set to his jaw and the firm curve of his lips as well. The sight halted the words in Draco's mouth and he just stood there, staring, for long moments until he registered the hard look in Harry's eyes.

'Harry,' he croaked.

'Draco. Come to insult me again? I have to admit that you've had better insults.' Harry folded his arms and leaned on the doorframe.

'No, I came to apologise, actually.'

Even the look of disbelief on Harry's face was beautiful, Draco decided. 'It's true. I have no excuses for what you heard this morning, other than I'd spent a rather sleepless night, where all I'd been able to do was think of you. I was confused. I just wanted to stop thinking about you for a minute. Then Pansy asked where you were and I snapped. I apologise.'

'You can't keep doing this, Draco,' Harry said. 'In one breath you tell me how much you want me and then the next you're insulting me and treating me like you hate me. No wonder I have no fucking idea what I want from you.'

Draco stepped closer, not trying to crowd Harry, more to help foster the sense of closeness, of a shared desire to work things out. Harry's face was still hard, shut down, and gave Draco no clue as to how he was feeling, but he didn't step back from Draco. That was encouraging at least.

'So, where do we go from here, then? Is there anywhere to go?' Draco didn't want to ask the question, but it needed to be asked. Even if it did come out sounding hoarse.

Harry shrugged.

Draco felt his insides shrivel up in knots. 'I'm too much hard work, is that it?' Draco wanted to sink through the floor in grief, while at the same time wanting to smack Harry round the head for being such an arse. At least his voice had regained its strength; although perhaps too much, as he sounded bitter. 'So, the great Harry Potter finds himself no match for Draco Malfoy?' Draco gave a bitter laugh. 'So, I finally beat you at something –'

'Draco, stop it.' Harry unfolded his arms and grabbed Draco by the wrist. For a moment the old anger flared up and Draco tried to wrench his wrist clear, but Harry had too strong a grip and refused to let him free.

Instead, Harry dragged him inside and shut the door. 'Go and sit down and we'll talk about this.' Harry pushed Draco into a chair by the window and then sat on the bed. 'I never said there wasn't anywhere to go; I just…' Harry ran his hands through his hair, evidence of some discomfort, and Draco suddenly wanted to hug him instead of smack him. 'We just…rub each other up the wrong way all the time and while I have admitted I'm attracted to you, I don't want to be with someone in a relationship where we spend all our time fighting. I want peace sometimes, too, Draco.'

'And you think I don't?'

Harry gave him a wry smile. 'I get the impression that your peace and mine are two different things.'

'Tell me about your peace, then,' Draco said quietly. He could do this; he could take a step back from living on the edge of arousal each time he and Harry fought, to find out about what else Harry liked. And who knew, maybe there were things about Harry's peace that would do things to him, too, just the same.

Harry looked at Draco for several long moments; long enough that Draco felt a frisson of fear: what if Harry didn't want to tell him things like that? But then he smiled and leaned forward; taking Draco's hand in his.

'My peace includes things like being able to compliment you on how you look without your eyes stripping and devouring me like a morsel of food.'

'But–' Draco began.

'Like now,' Harry continued. 'I want to tell you how nice you look.'

'I'm not sure I can control my reactions to your compliments.' Draco frowned.

'But you get compliments all the time from hundreds of people a day.'

'They're not you, are they?' Draco tried to pull his hand free of Harry's and deliberately wouldn't look at him.

'And part of my peace is being able to tell you that your fingers are all wrinkly without you biting my head off and storming off in a snit.'

Draco looked up at Harry, not understanding. 'You…what?'

'You hands, look. They're wrinkly.'

Draco looked down at his own hands in horror. How had he forgotten that they were still all prune-like from the bath? He really tried to pull his hands free, but Harry refused to let them go. 'I fell asleep in the bath,' Draco said, feeling his cheeks heat with embarrassment.

Harry didn't say anything. When Draco ventured looking up, he saw that the inscrutable face was clearing and there was something resembling amused fondness in Harry's expression instead. His face heated even more.

'Part of my peace is to be able to share these little human frailties with you. To know that you won't mock me for mine and to appreciate you sharing yours with me.'

'How do we do that, Harry? The things that have defined our previous relationship have all been about hiding weaknesses; not letting one get the better of the other at any cost.'

'Hence our confusion, don't you think? We've operated under the impression that the only way to make our mark, to mean something to each other, is by having to use force and conflict.'

'And now you want fluffy Hufflebunnies?' Draco tried to lighten the conversation somewhat because of course Harry was right. There was no balance that way. They'd end up hating each other in a very real and violent sense. It would be unhealthy.

Harry laughed and rubbed his thumbs over Draco's knuckles. 'I don't think either of us are built like that.'

'I keep telling you I'm not here to make things easy on you.'

'I don't think you'd intrigue me half as much if you were. I like you feisty; I like that spark of passion I see in your eyes when you look at me. When I see that, I want to ravish you and sod everything else.'

Draco's heart stuttered and stopped for a second.

'But I need the other, too. I need the honest, deep regard, concern for me and my feelings. I need you to like me as a person as well as want me as a lover. Do you understand?'

Draco nodded. 'And what about what I need?' He regretted the words as soon as they were out of his mouth as they sounded like they were coming from spoiled-brat Draco and not a man struggling to redefine how he interacted with someone immensely important to him. But Harry only smiled.

'What do you need?'

Faced with a direct question like that, Draco had no answer. 'Well…I don't know,' he said helplessly. 'I don't really have many healthy, committed relationships to base my opinions on. I don't know how these things are supposed to work.' It was hard even revealing this much about himself, Draco discovered. It was all well and good to hide any insecurities behind seduction and lust, but…

'I've seen you with your friends and you are committed to them and their happiness. As much as you pretend otherwise, you care a lot about Blaise. I've seen your regard for Pansy and how much you love her. And your mother. What do you need from them in return?'

'Not sex.' Draco laughed.

'Why does everything come back to sex with you?' Harry asked, exasperated.

Draco sighed. He was getting everything wrong here. He tried again. 'I want…I need to know that I'm with someone who won't up and leave me if I do or say something wrong.' Draco frowned, feeling the revelations leaving him on the precipice of something painful and vulnerable. 'I need to be able to trust that you won't mock me if I don't conform to what you want exactly.' He looked at Harry, lost; feeling like he was about to do the usual and fuck everything up. Again. 'I told you, I'm not an easy person to love, Harry.' Damn. Where the fuck had his confidence gone?

'Might be easier than you think,' Harry mumbled, but then continued before Draco really had time to register what he'd said. 'That wasn't so hard, was it?'

'Not for you, maybe,' Draco replied. 'I generally don't expose myself to ridicule like this.'

Harry sighed. 'You can trust me.'

Harry removed his hand from Draco's and cupped Draco's chin. His hand was warm and slightly rough, but to Draco it felt like a promise of something he could believe in. For long moments Draco struggled, captured by the honesty in Harry's eyes as much as by his hands. If he couldn't trust Harry now, when would he be able to? Stepping from his safety net into unknown and unchartered waters was frightening. Draco's heart was thumping loudly in anxiety, and not only because he was being asked to trust someone he used to hate, but also because Harry was so close and Draco was rapidly losing himself in his eyes.

He nodded. 'I can only try, Harry. I'm bound to stuff things up.' If Draco's teeth could have started to chatter, he was sure they would have. Any second he expected the wrath of the gods to come and smite him for daring to say he'd trust someone else. His father had taught him never to expose himself to anyone, for any reason. Maintain complete and cool dignity at all times.

'Don't worry; I'm no expert, either.' Harry sat back on the bed and drew Draco to sit beside him. A warm arm draped around Draco's shoulder and he was nestled in against Harry's side. It was not uncomfortable. In fact, he appreciated the solid sense of the body beside him and the safety and protection it offered. He relaxed into Harry's side, for once, letting himself have no expectations, no strategy, no plans; he just relaxed and let the tension slide away from him.

Harry continued talking and Draco let his voice wash over him; it's deep tones humming along Draco's tired thoughts. 'Can you understand why I'm confused about being attracted to you?'

'Well, no, frankly,' Draco replied, laughing softly. 'I'm gorgeous, everyone is attracted to me.'

Harry squeezed his shoulder. 'Prat, I'm being serious.'

'So am I,' Draco began, still teasing. 'Oh, all right. I was thinking about what you said and I wondered how I'd feel if I was suddenly attracted to Granger. Now I'm wondering why you don't ship yourself off to St. Mungo's every time you think of me. I was almost violently ill.'

'Hey! She's one of my best friends.'

'Harry, she's a girl.'

'Oh.' Harry chuckled. 'Well, that's all right then.'

'Does this mean I am going to have to be nice to your friends? A whole horde of Gryffindors?'

'Yes. And Hufflebunnies and maybe even a few Ravenclaws.'

'Like Lovegood? I'm already nice to her. We went to her opening.'

'Hm, so we did. And I distinctly remember telling you no gay stuff.'

Draco smiled and buried his face in Harry's neck, inhaling that indefinable scent that he hoped to become incredibly familiar with soon. He seductively let his tongue trace a vein along the side of Harry's neck and heard the short intake of breath as he allowed the taste to blossom through his system. 'I am just too irresistible,' he said, pulling back and looking up into Harry's face.

'You might be at that,' Harry murmured.

He lowered his lips to Draco's and peace settled deeper into Draco's bones. Different from the violent kisses of the previous night, this kiss was slow and solemn, as if acting as a salve to heal past wounds and promising a new start. While Draco would always be turned on by the ferociousness of the power with which they clashed, he found that this kiss, too, with its gentle, thorough melding of firm lips and warm breath, had its own charm that made even his blood sing.

Draco sank into the kiss, his hand winding into Harry's hair, the strands feeling softer and silkier now that he was kissing Harry and not fixing the mess. He opened his eyes as Harry's tongue pressed inside his mouth; he could see each one of Harry's lashes, long and curled at the ends. Harry kissed with his eyes closed, those pretty lashes fluttering against his cheeks. Strangely, Draco was glad he didn't have to deal with the intensity of Harry's eyes holding him captive. His heart was already pounding and if Harry could see right through him while looking deeply into his eyes, Draco thought he might break completely.

The soft snick of their tongues and lips meeting was overlaid by a quickly inhaled breath and a softly exhaled moan and Draco thought he'd never heard anything more erotic in his life. Harry pulled him closer, cupped Draco's chin in his hand and deepened the kiss until Draco felt his body tingling all over. Harry was kissing him like a lover and Draco was captivated by it. Never before had Draco kissed anyone just because he liked the feel of their mouth against his but the tender, reverent feel of the way Harry worshipped his lips felt better than anything he'd ever experienced. This feeling of being cherished buried deeply into Draco's heart and he felt most of his reservations dissolve under the onslaught.

He was well and truly fucked, he told himself.