A/N: okay, here's another rather pointless piece. Just a few tings before everybody goes "WTF": as I stated in the first chapter, this actually began as a one-shot that was supposedly a minor spin-off of another fanfiction I wrote. You don't have to read the other one at all to get this – the only thing you need to know is that Monkey Fist basically had to ring Amy to know if there was a possibility his genetic mutation could be passed down through the genes since he was about to have a kid (this is one long, twisted story you're probably better off not knowing about XD), and considering how obsessed with him she was, a phone call was enough to make Killigan jealous.
…er, are you still there? Wow, you're brave XD
"Oh, isn't that just adorable? Babies are so cute! I wonder if it will be a boy or a girl…"
Duff Killigan rolled his eyes, holding back a groan. Yes, it HAD been fun thinking of monkey boy having to deal with a kid – he had gotten a good laugh at the thought, wondering who would ever be crazy enough to settle with that nutcase – but Amy's squeals of delight were starting to get on his nerves. She had been repeating how cute and adorable a 'baby Monty' would be for at least three hours, and there was only that much he could take.
"Is something wrong, honey bunny?" she asked with a slight frown – she HAD noticed his utter lack of enthusiasm eventually.
Och, better late than never…
"Aye, I'm perfectly fine," he grumbled from the couch "especially since ye've been blabbering about yer ex for the past three hours."
Amy grinned a little, feeling almost guilty. "But sweetums, I wasn't talking about him, I was talking about the baby…"
"Whatever. Ye can't expect me to be glad when ye keep squealing over anything related to monkey boy," he said with a frown, causing Amy to giggle and sit on the couch next to him.
"I thought you got along with him. Well, sort of," she said, remembering that among villains 'getting along' pretty much meant 'manage to stay in the same room without feeling the urge to kill each other after five minutes' rather than actually…well, getting along.
"Aye, I do – as long as he stays away from ye."
"Ooh, still jealous?" she cooed, feeling just a tad smug as she gave him a rib-cracking hug – she loved it when he was so protective, especially since she couldn't recall anyone that ever had that kind of attitude towards her.
He seemed to calm down as she hugged him – or maybe he was just trying to not waste any oxygen until she let him go – but the scowl was still on his face. "Aye."
"Oh, but you don't have to be, silly! He just called to ask if the mutation would have been passed down, nothing more. And I told you, you're my pookie bear…"
Killigan grimaced slightly – those nicknames still annoyed the crap out of him, and to make things worse she had called him like that with monkey boy listening from the other side of the line – but he didn't feel like protesting now. "And ye're my lass – monkey boy better remember it," he said, forgetting the small detail that Monkey Fist had never showed anything even vaguely close to interest in Amy once he had had his monkey hands and feet.
"Well, now he has a baby coming – that means he is busy already, doesn't it? Not that it would matter if he weren't," she quickly added as Killigan glared at her, hugging him tighter. She didn't want him to think he was some kind of replacement, because he definitely was not. It had felt bad enough when she had unintentionally hurt poor Drakken, and she didn't want him to think it would be the same.
"Och, sure it wouldn't," Duff Killigan snorted, but he was grinning a little as he reached out to put arm around her just a tad possessively. He was actually relieved by the idea monkey boy wouldn't be interested in her: yes, he was a bad guy, but he didn't fancy the idea of turning a still unborn child into an orphan.
"Of course not, Duffy, you're my –"
"Do ye just have to say that every time?"
"Done!" DNAmy sighed happily as she closed the box where she had stuffed a bunch of Cuddle Buddies. She had those ones double anyway, and she was sure Monty's child would love them – what child wouldn't, she thought a bit sadly as she picked out a Cuddle Buddy that had fallen from the box before she closed it. She didn't have any child of her own that could play with those, she thought with a sigh…well, not yet.
Amy smiled a little at the thought: oh, wouldn't that be wonderful, having a baby! Too bad she wasn't sure Duff would have wanted it – not so soon, at least. But if not now, she mused as she got out of the room, when? He wasn't that young anymore, and neither she was. The more they waited, the less were the possibilities they could someday have a baby.
Maybe she should try to talk about it with Duff, she decided as she walked in their room. Killigan was already under the blankets, staring intently at the television. She bit her lower lip a tad nervously: she wasn't sure Duff would have liked the idea. It had been in her mind for a while now, but she had decided to wait for a better moment to suggest it. But now, after hearing the news from Monty…
"Honey bunny?" she called out a tad nervously, climbing on the bed next to him and leaning her head on his shoulder.
"What?" Killigan just said, still looking at the national golf match on the screen. He frowned a little – he should have been there to show all of them HOW to play golf, but no, they had to kick him out from the golf field – those idiots, they couldn't hit a ball with a baseball bat, let alone with a golf club!
"Well, I was thinking…" she began, but whatever she said next was lost to Killigan as he kept staring at match, just occasionally nodding.
"Aye, I agree," he said as she finished speaking, grinning inwardly as one of his old rivals on the golf field completely missed the hole. He was so busy smirking at the screen that he didn't notice how she was beaming – thus he was caught by surprise when Amy hugged him again, causing him to gasp for breath.
"Aw, I'm SO happy you want it, Duffy!" she exclaimed merrily, clapping her hands like a child who just got an early Christmas present "I was afraid you wouldn't want – but we can wait if it's too soon," she added, looking a bit worried.
Killigan – whose brain was deaf to whatever she was telling him – simply nodded again, still glancing at the television. "Och, whatever ye want," he said. He would later regret his words, but for now he was too concentrated on the golf match to even wonder what exactly Amy had just suggested.
His concentration, anyway, was interrupted again by another embrace – a real embrace, warm and soft and welcoming, not just the usual rib-cracking hug – and he knew well what that kind of embrace meant. Before his mind completely shut off, he reached out for the remote control and switched off the television.
After all, he could always learn what had happened from the next morning's news: he had something more important to take care of right now.
"Ye're what?!" Duff Killigan blurted, his eyes wide. His hand lingered in mid-air, still reaching for the salt.
Amy was literally beaming, and her smile was so wide that it seemed almost physically impossible. "Isn't it wonderful, honey bunny?" she chirped.
"Uh…" Killigan simply gawked at her for a few moments, his mind blank "…how did it happen?" was all he finally managed to mutter, his voice sounding oddly weak – which was most unusual.
She giggled. "Well, you see, sweetums, when a man and a woman…"
"I know how it happened!" he bellowed, "I just…er…" he paused as he saw Amy's smile waver just a little.
"Aren't you glad, Duffy?" she asked, her voice trembling slightly. She suddenly seemed more unsure and frailer than he had ever seen her, and he suddenly felt something oddly close to panic.
"I…" he bit his tongue before he could say anything stupid he would regret "aye, sure," he finally said, a bit too quickly to be believable – but she didn't seem to notice "I'm just, uh…it WAS unexpected," he said almost defensively.
"Aw, but sweetie, it shouldn't be," she said with a gleeful chuckle, patting his shoulder with enough strength to make him yelp "I told you I would stop taking the due precautions so it could happen. You told me it was fine with you, remember?"
No, Duff couldn't remember anything like that, but he had little doubt she was telling the truth – it had probably been one of those times he just nodded to whatever she said without paying attention. He mentally kicked himself, taking a mental note to always listen to whatever she said at least twice before speaking or nodding or just doing anything that could be even remotely taken as a 'yes'.
"Och, sure I remember," he lied "it just isn't something ye can just say over lunch like that…"
Amy grinned a little sheepishly. "Sorry, Duffy, I just couldn't wait," she said almost apologetically, giving him a hug – and Killigan felt like he didn't have enough strength left in him to squirm out of her grasp.
"Are you alright, honey?" she asked, a tad surprised by his lack of response – he hadn't even grimaced as he always did when she called him 'honey' or such.
"Aye, I'm fine," he said mechanically, getting up from the chair – he didn't feel like eating at all "going to play golf now. See ye later," he said numbly as he grabbed his gold bag. He actually doubted he could focus enough to play decently right now, but he just needed to get out as soon as possible.
"Of course – have fun, sweetums!" she cheerfully shrilled as he left the room. She turned her attention back to her lunch, humming to herself, a wide smile still on her face as she thought of all the stuff they would have to get ready for the baby – she just couldn't wait!
"AND DON'T COME BACK!" Killigan yelled as he threw another explosive golf ball to the retreating…whatever it was. He didn't know how he should call a mixture between a hippo and a beaver, nor he cared in any way – he just wanted those…things to stay away from his golf field. What was he thinking when he let Amy bring them on his island? He sighed. Oh, well – at least they were useful in a way: if anything, he have someone to rage against without having to feel guilty and make it up for it later.
It's not like this is going to help. Ye're in trouble, lad.
Killigan grumbled to himself, absentmindedly swinging his golf club. "Aye, I'm in trouble," he said to no one in particular, then he paused, still staring at the golf club "…or not?" he thought aloud.
Alright, it had been rather shocking knowing that Amy was expecting, but now that he had taken it out on those creatures the shock had worn off and he had considerably clamed down…and that allowed him to think a tad more clearly.
After all, it wasn't like the world was ending: he could deal with Amy's creations already – a brat wouldn't be too much trouble in comparison, would it? Besides, who said it would necessarily be a bad thing? What the heck, his lass was bearing his kid: wasn't he supposed to be proud? Even though it wasn't exactly in his plans, it wasn't like he disliked the idea of continuing his bloodline: he had just never really thought about it before.
Besides, he thought as he glanced at his golf field, it would be fun having someone he could teach playing golf to – the idea his kid could not like golf didn't even cross his mind. Not to mention that he would have to leave both the island and the castle to someone someday, and the mere thought of leaving them to anyone but another Killigan was enough to make him grimace.
"Aye, maybe it won't be that bad," he said aloud, and he was almost surprised by how quickly he had come to accept it now that the shock had faded. Well, the idea the kid could turn out to be like Amy was somewhat scary – he wasn't sure he could deal with a younger version of DNAmy as well and still keep his sanity – but that didn't really worry him. From his grandmother's tales – the old lass had the tendency to start rambling about the clan's history after the third glass of whiskey – he knew that pretty much every single Killigan in centuries had always showed the same temper he had, men and women alike…and no matter what, his kid wouldn't be any different, he thought with a certain amount of pride. He would make sure of that.
His thoughts were interrupted by a low growl coming from his stomach. It looked like his appetite was back, he thought as he began walking to the castle, and so was his good mood. Aye, golf would have to wait: aside from lunch, there were other matters he had to take care of.
"Pookie bear?" Amy called as she peeked inside the room a tad surprised to see he was back already "I thought you were playing golf."
"Later, there's too much stuff to do," he muttered, looking for something inside a drawer "I was sure I had left it here…"
"What are you looking for?"
"A few phone numbers – I wrote them on some paper because I kept forgetting. I better start to get things ready."
Amy blinked. "Ready for what, sweetums?"
Killigan looked at her as if she had just asked the dumbest question he had ever heard in his life. "Och, what do ye think? For the wedding," he said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world "I should still have my mother's wedding gown somewhere, but if ye want…what?" he asked as Amy kept staring at him as if he had just grown wings.
She just kept staring at him for a few moments before opening her mouth to speak, but no sound came out. She closed her mouth, blinked, and opened it again.
And then she shrieked.
"Oh, honey bunny!"
"Ouch!" Killigan gasped as DNAmy promptly flung her arms around his neck with such force that he lost his balance and fell on his back with her on him. "Och, lass, are ye trying to kill me?" he protested, trying to get her off him or at least make her loosen her grip around his neck before he ran out of oxygen.
"Oh, I'm sorry, Duffy," she giggled as she unwillingly loosened her grip to let him up.
"Sure ye are," Killigan grumbled, cracking his back, but he was grinning a little as she hugged him again – thankfully not as forcefully as before.
"This is so sweet of you! I thought you'd never ask," she blabbered happily, causing him to blink. Actually, he hadn't precisely asked anything: he had simply assumed that, with a kid coming, it would only be obvious they would tie the knot. He was rather old-fashioned and traditional in that regard, and the idea they could simply keep living together as they were doing now even after the baby was born hadn't even crossed his mind.
Thankfully she didn't seem bothered at all by the fact he had pretty much decided they would get married without asking for her opinion, he thought with a slight stab of guilt, but he quickly chased the thought away from his mind. Alright, he hadn't exactly proposed properly, with a ring and some speech and all that stuff most women seemed to love, but she was happy anyway and that was the only thing that mattered.