A/n: Hey guys I'm back!!
Everyone: (glare)
Me: Hehe sorry I've been gone so long I've been really busy. We're packing up a bunch of stuff up at my house and fixing it up for when we move and its taking FOREVER and I was also kidnapped by my cousins for a week where they forced me to do manual labor for them to help them move in their new house so yeah!
Everyone: (busts out pitchforks)
Me: WAIT!! I um……brought a new chapter?
Everyone: (puts down pitchforks)
Me: Hehe ENJOY! (runs away)
Disclaimer: Don't own characters, don't own song.
Yeah it's sexy back by Justin Timberlake I think you should listen to the song while reading, I was thinking of using I'm too sexy but I changed my mind when someone mentioned sexy back in the reviews so thanks for that!! I think it's funnier now.
Chapter 3: Sexy Back
Lois had to admit, she never ever, EVER expected to be invited to a super-hero party, let alone a Super Karaoke Party. 'This could make the headlines!' she thought, but sadly before her and Clark, or should she say Superman, took off in the Javelin, she was checked for any devices that could record the events at the party. During the search she managed to lose her digital camera, tape recorder, mini spy camera, and the audio recording wire she had been wearing under her shirt. It was funny watching the so-called man of steel blush, as he removed the wire. He then swept her into the awaiting Javelin and they were off.
It was after 7 when Flash, J'onn, and Zatanna had finished decorating the cafeteria. It may have gone faster if Flash had not insisted on putting up all the streamers himself, only to get tangled up in them 5 minutes later. They had everything planned out since yesterday. There was a big stereo system set up along the front with everything they needed for karaoke. They also set up an area on stage that had some instruments, if anyone was brave enough to play a song themselves. The rest of the cafeteria was filled up with tables and chairs for all the super heroes, and there was even a long snack table set up with different snacks along with some homemade Martian punch.
"Yes we're finally done!" Flash exclaimed quite loudly
"There is one more thing." J'onn stated in his usual monotone, and Flash groaned,
"Can't we just skip right to the party?"
"No," J'onn replied as he pulled out a very high-tech looking…box?
"Um…J'onn? What the heck is that thing?? Zatanna asked, giving the Martian box a strange look.
"This is my own invention," J'onn explained, "it will ensure that everyone gets a turn to sing."
"So it's like pulling names out of a hat?" Flash asked as he grabbed the box and examined it.
"No," J'onn stated seriously, "it's a box." He said, trying to give Flash a Batman like glare.
"J'onn, I think you might need glasses, you look like you're squinting." Flash said looking at J'onn up close. J'onn sighed, 'I'll have to ask Batman how he does it', he thought.
"Ok Flash, let's 'get this party started'"
"YAHOO!"
"Ahem" Flash cleared is throat, trying to sound important, and get everyone's attention. More super heroes had shown up then they had expected, most likely here to see the brave leaguers make fools of themselves on stage.
"Welcome to the first ever Justice League Super-Hero Singing Palooza" Flash yelled into the mic, making those with super hearing cringe. Some people in the audience clapped while others just ignored him and went back to their conversations, or to the snack table to get more food.
"Well I guess I'm your host for tonight and I just wanted to let you know that there is a book on each of your tables to pick songs out of, and when you're ready to sing, just come on up!
'Duh' the audience thought - not everyone was interested in singing.
"Also," Flash continued happily, oblivious to the audience's blank stares, "names will be drawn out of a hat so everyone gets a turn."
'It's a box!' J'onn thought.
"What if you don't want to sing?" Green Arrow shouted out from his place in the audience. Beside him sat Black Canary who hit him in the arm and gave him a shut-up look. Hehe…you can tell who wears the tights in that relationship…well both of them do actually.
"Uhh…" Flash said, trying to think of something to keep the plan going, "if you don't you get extra monitor duty for a week – no a month!" Flash exclaimed. J'onn groaned. People were going to blame him for this. Most people in the crowd groaned, while others began to look through the song books, some wandered over to the snack table to get some food and punch.
Flash jumped off the stage looking a bit put-down, and approached J'onn,
"I dunno if this is going to work, even if I do draw names out of a hat-"
'BOX!' J'onn thought angrily,
"-people might still not sing"
"That will soon change." J'onn predicted
"How do you know that?" Flash asked
"I spiked the punch" J'onn stated, holding up a bottle of peach schnapps.
"Nice."
Batman had snuck into the room unnoticed just as Flash had jumped off stage, and was currently standing near the snack table.
"So the Batman decided to come after all" Batman turned to see Superman walking up to the table to get drinks for him and Lois.
"Crime rate's low; I had some spare time." Batman responded in as few words as possible.
"Right" Superman said giving him a knowing look as he started walking away,
"Diana's over there just in case you're looking for her," he said, gesturing to a table near the back where Diana was looking through one of the song books. Batman turned toward the snack table, grabbed two glasses of punch and headed in the direction of Diana's table.
It seemed that everyone was enjoying J'onn's homemade Martian punch and everyone had yet to notice the secret ingredient. J'onn was sitting at a table, examining one of the song books, when Flash came bouncing over, soon followed by a curious Zatanna.
"What's with you?" he asked the excited Flash.
"I'm gunna show everyone what sexy really is!" he explained. Zatanna rolled her eyes,
"What are you going to sing? I'm too sexy?"
"Oh Zatanna," Flash sighed, "there's no such thing as being too sexy…Anyways I got something else up my jumpsuit."
'Up his jumpsuit?!' Zatanna thought,
"I don't want to know" she said, sitting down and sipping her punch. Flash and J'onn stared wide-eyed at the big cup of punch in her hand.
"What?" she asked, noticing the strange looks.
"Nothing!"
Five minutes later Flash was on stage preparing for his karaoke debut. He definitely had caught the room's attention when he strutted on stage wearing black dress pants and a red, silk, button-up dress shirt with the collar flipped up. Of coarse it was all worn over his uniform, but it wasn't the fact that he had done that, that caught people's attention; it was the fake chest hair he had stuck onto his chest, over his uniform where the top 3 buttons had been left undone.
Before anyone could laugh and point out Flash's apparent inability to grow manly chest hair, the song had begun, and he had already placed a headset on.
I'm bringing sexy back (yeah)
Them other boys don't know how to act (yeah)
I think you're special, what's behind your back? (yeah)
So turn around and I'll pick up the slack. (yeah)
Flash had stepped off stage and began to dance around the room using some pretty suggestive moves.
Take 'em to the bridge
Dirty babe (uh-huh)
You see the shackles
Baby I'm your slave (uh–huh)
I'll let you whip me if I misbehave (uh–huh)
It's just that no one makes me feel this way (uh-huh)
By then Flash had picked put one of the more tipsy super heroes out of the crowd and proceeded to dance with her on stage.
Take 'em to the chorus
Come here girl
Go ahead, be gone with it
Come to the back
Go ahead, be gone with it
VIP
Go ahead, be gone with it
Drinks on me
Go ahead, be gone with it
Let me see what you're working with
Go ahead, be gone with it
Look at those hips
Go ahead, be gone with it
You make me smile
Go ahead, be gone with it
Go ahead child
Go ahead, be gone with it
And get your sexy on
Go ahead, be gone with it
Get your sexy on
Go ahead, be gone with it
Repeat 6 times
Get your sexy on
I'm bringing sexy back (yeah)
The mother fuckers don't know how to act (yeah)
Come let me make up for the things you lack (yeah)
'Cause you're burning up I gotta get it fast (yeah)
Take 'em to the bridge
Dirty babe (uh-huh)
You see the shackles
Baby I'm your slave (uh–huh)
I'll let you whip me if I misbehave (uh–huh)
It's just that no one makes me feel this way (uh-huh)
Flash and the girl were dancing really close together now and it seemed that some of her friends planned on joining them on stage because they jumped up there a second later.
Take 'em to the chorus
Come here girl
Go ahead, be gone with it
Come to the back
Go ahead, be gone with it
VIP
Go ahead, be gone with it
Drinks on me
Go ahead, be gone with it
Let me see what you're working with
Go ahead, be gone with it
Look at those hips
Go ahead, be gone with it
You make me smile
Go ahead, be gone with it
Go ahead child
Go ahead, be gone with it
And get your sexy on
Go ahead, be gone with it
Get your sexy on
Go ahead, be gone with it
Repeat 6 times
Get your sexy on
I'm bringing sexy back
You mother fuckers watch how I attack
If that's your girl you better watch your back
Cause she'll burn it up for me and that's a fact
Take 'em to the chorus
Come here girl
Go ahead, be gone with it
Come to the back
Go ahead, be gone with it
VIP
Go ahead, be gone with it
Drinks on me
Go ahead, be gone with it
Let me see what you're working with
Go ahead, be gone with it
Look at those hips
Go ahead, be gone with it
You make me smile
Go ahead, be gone with it
Go ahead child
Go ahead, be gone with it
And get your sexy on
Go ahead, be gone with it
Get your sexy on
Go ahead, be gone with it
Repeat 6 times
Get your sexy on
The song ended and Flash, along with his dancers posed for dramatic effect. The dancers, except for one, returned to their seats. The first one who had come on stage with Flash walked up to him, and kissed him on the cheek, before taking her seat.
"Oh yeah, I still got it!"
Hmm…interesting performance…let's take a look at some of our favorite super heroes' reactions, shall we?
Hawkgirl
She hadn't planned on coming to the party to begin with – she'd never been big on social gatherings – but it seemed that there was nothing better to do. She had been lucky enough to arrive in the cafeteria near the end of Flash's interesting performance. She took a seat near the back and tried her best to hold back her laughter when she noticed Flash's "outfit". As soon as the performance was over she burst into a fit of laughter as people applauded the performance.
"What the hell was that?!"
J'onn
'Hmm…I wasn't aware that gyrating was a popular dance move'
Wonder Woman
'Is all of Man's world like this? Is it all about sex appeal and how many girls you got?!' Diana thought angrily and continued to rant about sexism and what not in her head while she gulped down her punch.
Green Lantern
'That's Flash for you.'
Superman
Superman had run over to where Supergirl was sitting some time in the middle of the performance and covered her eyes.
"Clark, what are you doing?"
"Shielding your eyes, you're to young to be watching that!" the boy scout explained
"Um Clark?"
"What?"
"X-ray vision"
"Oh."
Batman
"…"
"…"
"…"
BAT-GLARE!
Black Canary & Green Arrow
Green Arrow was in shock. How was Flash able to get so many girls?! (A/n: because he's Flash of course) Black Canary on the other hand seemed disappointed.
'Why can't Ollie move his hips like that?'
Please leave a review!! And check out my other story, "Fart: A Joker Story", its funny or at least I think it is, my friend and I did write it late at night….hmm…