Disclaimer: I dont own The Vampire Diaries or these characters. Unfortunately, I don't own Ian Somerhalder also

Author's note: Thank you so much for your reviews. Special Thanks to Peachie X for her precious help for this chapter. I hope that you will enjoy it

Elena got up from her bed and walked to the window. She pressed her forehead to the glass and closed her eyes. She thought about how this morning she woke up and went to see Stefan, without having any idea what the day would have in store for her. These last few months her life was pretty crazy and most of her days were full of surprises, but nothing could compare to this.

She turned her head and looked back at the last page of her diary that she had abandoned on her bed, ready to reveal its secrets. 'The last day I spent in love with Damon and knowing about it.' She admitted to herself. Now, she was sure that she couldn't go back to how things where yesterday. She walked slowly back to her bed and sat down. Taking the page in her hands she spoke aloud "So, Why did you leave me Damon?" She closed her eyes for a second, took a deep breath and read what she had wrote.

14th August 2008

Dear Diary

I've made my decision. I wont let this man walk out of my life without a fight, without answers….

Two years ago

She had spent almost the entire day pacing up and down her room. "I can't let him leave." she was repeating. She knew, that the act he had performed for her last night was not the truth. She had spent the past two months with this man. Hours and hours together and she was certain people didn't change like that. For some reason he was trying to push her away. "Maybe he is afraid that I would hurt him, maybe, he is scared because his last relationship ended badly?" She questioned out loud. "That must be it." She decided it was the only logical explanation she could find and she became determined to convince him that she was honest when she told him about her feelings. "I have to fight for him. For us..." She said, her mind already made. Thirty minutes later she was knocking on the door to the boarding house.

Damon opened the door after a few seconds looking wrecked. His shirt open, his hair was a mess. He was clutching a full glass of scotch in his hand.

"What are you doing here?" he asked and Elena pushed passed him to go inside. She walked to the living room, feeling Damon following her. Stepping to the middle of the room she turned to face him putting her hands to her waist.

"Did you really think that you could get away that easily?" She said sternly catching Damon by surprise. He brought the glass on to his mouth and drained it. He walked to the bar and refilled it, without looking at her.

"What do you want Elena? A hug? To cry together and promise that some day we will meet again?" He snapped at her sarcasm filling his tone. "It's not gonna happen." He added seriously "This is not a fairytale and I'm, certainly, not your prince charming."

Elena walked over him slowly and reached to take his face in her hands, forcing his blue eyes stare into her brown ones. "Damon, you are going to hear this whether you like it or not" She felt her eyes start brimming with tears as she tried to keep her voice steady "You cant run from me because I love you. I love you so much. I know, that you love me too. This is real and you cant just walk away from it."

He closed his eyes tight. "Elena." He said pleading with her, removing her hands from his face. "You don't know. If you knew, you would never feel this way."

"I know." Elena stated at the same time the first tears fell to her cheek "I know that I want to be with you. And nothing else matters. I love you." She got closer to him again, daring him. "Look into my eyes and tell me you don't love me. If you don't then I will leave and will never bother you again. So, can you say it?" She saw the struggle in his eyes but he stayed quiet. She wrapped her arms around his neck whispering against his lips "We can do this." She placed a small kiss on his lip and pulled away, just an inch, to look inside Damon's eyes and she saw hundreds of emotions flitting through his gaze. Fear, vulnerability, lust and finally resting on love. She could sense the inner turmoil he was going through. "I do love you Damon and I want nothing more than to be with you, to be yours. Make me yours, even if it's just for tonight" she whispered over his lips her heart beating rapidly betraying how much she desired him. He pulled her closer, capturing her lips so desperately, with such passion it was like their lives depended on this. He gathered her into his arms and without taking his lips from hers he carried her up the stairs to his bedroom.

He placed her gently on his bed, looking straight into her eyes, trying to see if she was sure about what was going to happen. Elena raised her head kissing him passionately in silent acquiesces, letting him know that she wanted this as much as he did. He moved his lips from hers trailing them softly along her jaw moving down her neck, he placed a little kiss pausing for a moment as if he was trying to breathe her in. He returned to her lips, his breath coming quickly, matching hers. She reached her hands under his shirt trailing the smooth contours of his abs. Reaching to grasp the collar of his shirt pushing it over his shoulders. He returned the gesture, her shirt joining with his on the floor. Their eyes never leaving each other as if they both knew that no matter what the next day had in store for them, this moment, they wanted to remember completely.

Every touch, every kiss he placed along her body seemed to transport Elena straight to heaven. Her breath came in pants her mind completely overwhelmed with the sense that was purely Damon. Their clothes getting lost around the room, their hands unable to stop caressing, feeling, one another. They were addicted to each other, the sounds that echoed the room reflected back into their ears the desire and overwhelming need they had for each other.

When he finally placed himself above her his hand ran through her hair she leaned into his touch and smiled up at him. This smile was innocent and completely trusting. That smile was just for Damon and just for this moment.

He looked her over, she could see his arms trembling with his want to move forward and throw caution to the wind. But he withheld, she knew this was for her benefit, that he knew the magnitude of the gift she was giving him. Whatever the future held, right now she was only his.

She leaned her forehead to his chest nipping at him, silently begging him to continue. He finally pressed himself against her and when their bodies became one, she felt complete. She knew without a doubt and with her entire being that this was right. She was sharing with this man the most significant moment of her entire life up until then. Damon was giving her everything she ever hoped for.

He held her, whispering to her his thoughts of comfort and love through the initial pain, starting slowly and soon bliss took over her body. She clung to him feeling the need to be impossibly close to him.

She had never felt so alive as when her and Damon were connected it was as if they had truly become one, their thoughts only on each other, their love hung in the air surrounding them. Soon Elena saw stars, she felt magical. Their fingers entwined as Damon collapsed next to her with a content sigh and pulled her to him, neither ready for the contact to end. Elena rested her head on Damon's chest and stared at the ceiling while his arms held her close and he rubbed her head, playing with strands of her hair.

Her thoughts went to how lucky she was that her first time had been so incredible and with a man she was undoubtedly completely in love with.

Elena opened her eyes seeing the moonlight blanketing the room. Reaching next to her in bed she found Damon wasn't there. Sitting up she saw him standing in front of the window looking outside. The moonlight caressing his face gave Elena pause as she appreciated this gorgeous man. Feeling her heart rate increase at the sight she spoke softly. "Damon?"

His gaze never leaving the window he sighed quietly "I am really sorry Elena." his voice a whisper Elena felt her heart clench at his words. He turned around slowly and she saw desperation fill his eyes. They became empty and he looked…defeated and Elena felt the urge to go to him and wrap her arms around him to reassure him everything would be fine. Sliding out of bed she put his shirt on. Making her way over to him hugging him tightly resting her face against his chest. "Everything is going to be OK." she said "Don't worry."

Damon brushed though her hair with his finger and put his mouth on the top of her head. "I don't deserve you. You should be with someone good. Like this Matt guy, you have told me about. Maybe if I was more like my brother, Stefan, then maybe..."

"Shh!" Elena ordered "Stop this." She looked up, into his eyes. "I love you. You, no one else. I would never betray you. I will stand by you through everything."

She felt his body tense up at her last statement. Pulling away he captured her face into his hands. "I know that. I know." He assured her "That's what hurts me. Because I want to protect you and I feel that I am losing control of the situation. You can't love me because I am heartless, arrogant and selfish."

"No you are not." she protested and took a step back. "Stop this game. Why are you trying so hard to convince me that what I feel for you isn't right? I know it is." she said firmly

Damon sighed rubbing his hands over his face. "Elena, who I am with you is not who I am. It's not real, you bring out a different side of me, a side I didn't even think existed. It wont continue though, soon enough the real me will be back and you will see it." He grasped her shoulders leveling his gaze with hers imploring her to understand.

"If I stay here, with you, it's only a matter of time before you find out the truth. When you know everything there is to know, you will hate me. You will." he said with such certainty that it sent shivers down Elena's spine fear bubbling up inside her.

"What have you done?" She whispered placing her hands on his arms clinging to them.

"I… I have. I am.." He growled and turned away from her shaking out of her grasp. "I cant. This is a big mistake. I cant drag you into this and then there will be no turning back for you. I just cannot do it. I care about you too much to stay. If I bring you into this darkness with me you cant go back. Right now you have to forget me and move on."

Elena felt exhausted and angry. "You know what?" She laughed with out humor as tears started to fall again "I am sick and tired of this twisted little game of yours. I cant take this crap anymore. If you don't trust me, then what's the point? And honestly you are right! I don't want this pain. I wish it could go away. I wish I could forget you. I really want to forget everything that has happened between us. I want to leave and go home and never think about you, ever again. I pray to God there was some way that I could forget you. But I can't." She shrieked at him. Feeling overwhelmed her knees shook as if she might collapse at any moment.

Damon looked at her and swallowed hard."Give me your hand" he whispered. Elena felt a chill travel her spine but she complied. He brought her hand up to his mouth and kissed it softly. Then he took off the silver bracelet and as if in slow motion, he put it on the small table next to the window. Elena's breath caught in her chest, she wanted to ask him why he did that but the words wouldn't come. Damon brushed her hair away from her eyes. "I'm going to give you what you want." He said meekly attempting a smile.

Damon took a step closer. "I want you to know that I do love you, you have to know that." He said his voice shaking. He pressed his hands softly to her face placing a soft kiss on her trembling lips. Looking into her eyes, his pain reflecting back to her. "Elena..." The last thing she remembered was the blue velvet of his eyes…

Present Day

Elena couldn't stop the tears from falling soaking the diary page she was holding. Sobbing she brought her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. Her whole life had fallen to pieces and she didn't know where to start picking them up.

Damon had erased her memories because he thought that was what she wanted. Foolishly, he took her statement literally and because he thought that it was the best thing for her. 'Because he was too weak and too scared to tell me the truth.' Elena thought angrily. But then again could she really blame him? How easy could it possibly have been for him to say "Elena I am vampire. I am almost 150 years old and I have killed a lot of people and drank their blood and by the way I've been searching for the past century for a way to release your doppelganger from a tomb." She started laughing maniacally. She thought she was losing her mind, that Elena Gilbert after everything had finally cracked. She took deep breaths calming herself.

It wouldn't have been easy for him and surely if she had known what he actually was, she would have struggled to deal with. He had been right about that. Undeniably as hard as it would have been to deal with Elena knew that at the end she would have forgiven him for his past and she would stayed by his side. Because she knew that Damon was another person when he was with her, he wasn't a killer. He was kind, caring and thoughtful and the only person that could make her feel this way."He was then and he still is." Elena said out loud. Elena was sure that the Damon he was around her was actually the real Damon and the monster he created of himself was just a ruse. She wiped away her tears with the back of her hands and stood up gathering her strength. "I have to talk to him." She determined and walked from her bedroom.

I am desperate to know your thoughts for this chapter. Did you like it? Please let me know.