"Explicame porque razon no me miras la cara. Sera que no quieres que note que segues enmorada. Tus ojos me muestran pasion y falsos sentimentos. Por el hecho de tu rechazarme mientras te mueres por dentro. Sabes bien que no puedes olvidarme y mucho menos enganarme. Todavia no a nacido otro hombre que pueda enamorarte. Si antes de inventarse el amor ya yo estaba amando. Ni el amor de Romeo y Julieta llego hacer tan grande."
-Aventura
(Explain to me the reason you don't look at my face. Maybe you don't want me to see that you're still in love. Your eyes show me passion and fake feelings. For the fact of you rejecting me while you're dying inside. You know very well you can't forget me and much less cheat on me. There hasn't born another man that can make you fall in love. Since before love was invented I was loving you. Not even the love of Romeo and Juliet got to be so big.)
Bella: "Get up!" Rose said and pushed me softly. I only moaned and pulled the light fleece blanket over my head. She sighed and again shook my shoulder. I didn't respond to her. She could go to hell and back and I wouldn't care. She growled once and I knew she was only getting angrier.
"Bella! It's twelve. You just going to sleep the day away?" she asked and I responded by standing up and dragging both the fleece and pillow behind me. She followed my every footstep.
I made my way down the small hall and opened her bedroom door. I plopped my pillow down and curled up on the full size bed.
"Ugh!" she screeched. She sat down making me bounce slightly before growling something under her breath.
"Are you going to tell me what happened last night?" she asked and I shook my head and I pulled the blanket once again over my shoulder. I was awake now. The pain had caught up and I didn't think I could sleep again. I only stared numbly at her windows and traced the design of her curtains over and over again.
"If he did something to you, Bella I swear I'll rip—"
"No. It's my fault," I said softly stopping her rant and watching the sunshine dance over her bedroom floor.
"You're fault?" she asked and I closed my eyes allowing the tears. Why not? If I was going to make myself suffer I'd do it thoroughly. Crying felt good. I had given up my chance, but I had too. I had too.
There were so many things getting in the way. I couldn't meet him…I just, I couldn't.
"You don't want to talk about it?" she asked and again I shook my head. She sighed and lay next to me.
"Vera's coming over. We're going to chat about the wedding. She said she found this wonderful dress. It would suit you to the tee. She sent it to my email. It's actually very pretty. She's only known you for like 5 seconds and yet she knows you better than I do. I like that about her. I always have…" Rosalie trailed off as sleep once more made its way toward me.
I would grasp whatever I could. I wanted sleep. I needed it. I didn't hurt when I was asleep. I didn't think. Everything floated around in a mess of strange visions and stranger sounds. I didn't have to understand or like it. It just happened.
I didn't control my dream either. I let them take me where they pleased. I guess dreams decided to give me what I couldn't really have. I dreamed of Edward. I dreamed of a life we could never have together.
. .
"Poor thing," I heard a soft whisper creep into my thoughts. I stood up hurriedly and looked around the dark bedroom. I had slept most of the day away. It was already four. Hadn't Edward said he would be there at three?
It was settled then, right? I was too late. I threw the blanket off me and stretched slowly feeling the bed sores. I groaned and stood slowly. My legs were wobbly. I felt like a mess. My cheeks were stained with dry tears. I stepped out of the bedroom and heard the voices once again.
Vera must have been here. Her voice was the one that had woken me. I shook my head and opened the hall closet searching through my suitcase and pulling out some clothes. Rose and Vera must have heard but they didn't say anything. I was glad. I wasn't ready to talk to anyone. I couldn't stop myself from glancing at my watch. Would he still be there? It was snowing out.
It was probably cold. He wouldn't wait in the cold and snow right? I wasn't worth that.
I shook my head to clear him from my thoughts and walked into the bathroom. I stripped and stepped into the shower. I took a bit longer than was necessary, but I didn't care. The shower helped waken me and felt nice on my stiff joints and sore back. It washed away the tears from my cheeks and hid the new ones that I couldn't stop from coming.
When the water began to run cold I stepped out and quickly changed into a new pair of sweats and a baggy t-shirt.
I walked into the living room to catch Rosalie and Vera picking though their pizza. Rose looked up as she peeled off a mushroom and placed it back in the box.
"Why do you order the supreme if you're going to take it apart?" I asked and surprised myself. My voice was hoarse. I cleared it and Vera rolled her eyes.
"Hey! I eat the mushrooms I can't see. I just don't like eating the ones I can see. This is fungus? Who in their right mind eats that knowingly?" she asked and wagged the mushroom she had just peeled off in front of me. I rolled my eyes and took it from her fingers and popped it into my mouth. She made a face. I couldn't even laugh.
I walked around the couch and sat on the empty loveseat. Some comedy was playing on the television.
"That's terribly disgusting," she said and wrinkled her nose. I faked a smile and ate another one from the box. I hadn't realized how hungry I was. I picked a slice up and began to nibble on it.
"She'll eat anything on a pizza. Except fish," Rose said and rolled her pretty eyes.
"You hardly taste it when you mix it with tons of different toppings," I breathed and took a bite.
"So what brought you out of bed?" Vera asked. I shrugged not really knowing the answer.
"What happened last night?" Rosalie asked putting her slice back into the box and leaning forward to stare at me. I stared numbly at the television.
"Nothing. I just…nothing," I stated and took another bite pulling myself closer together to compress the pain. I wasn't sure if it actually worked, but it wasn't about to stop now.
"Nothing is always something," Vera said and peeled off a pepperoni slice and popped it into her mouth. Unlike the mushrooms she liked to eat pepperoni purely by themselves. I guess we all had weird quirks with food.
I shook my head and realized I had finished the slice except for the crust. I threw it back into the box where it was picked up by Rose and eaten. I didn't like crust.
Edward had once teased me about that. He told me it was the best part. I shook my head. He wasn't supposed to be in my thoughts.
"Bella, you can tell us. Talk it out," Rose said leaning forward and placing a hand on my calf in comfort. Tears prickled but I held them back.
"I…it's nothing," I whispered and watched as the television was abruptly shut off. I looked toward Vera who had leaned forward with wide eyes.
"You were going to say something," Vera said and I rolled my eyes not truly wanting to talk about it. I had made my choice now it was my turn to wallow and get over it.
"Edward has something to do with this," Rosalie said and leaned forward. The tears began to sting. I swallowed hard.
"He asked me to runaway with him," I whispered. Vera gasped audibly.
"What about Jake?" she asked covering her mouth with her hands. I nodded and felt the tears slide down my cheeks.
"Exactly! I love Jake. He's such a good guy. He's sweet and funny, and makes me feel better when I'm sad," I said and felt my throat tighten because Jacob was a good guy.
"You just described a friend," Rosalie added and raised her blonde brows. I snapped my head to her.
"I…I love him. What Edward asked me to do was ridiculous! What was I supposed to do? I have a life. I can't just up and leave!" I defended.
"He asked you to run away with him…" Vera mused in her romance voice. It was wispy and soft.
"It's really not that simple. I have Jake and my job and it isn't like our families are best friends!"
"Oh bullshit!" Rose growled. Vera and I both looked at her.
"You can be a teacher anywhere!" Rose said and crossed her arms over her chest. I ran a hand through my hair.
"It's not that easy. I just can't pick up my things and leave. I have a class of 23 I would be disappointing!"
"Oh boohoo! They're seven. They get sad for two days top and next thing you know its Miss who?"
"Are you seriously going against my decision?" I shot back.
"Only because I know you'll regret the one you're making now!" Rose said and stood up before walking into the kitchen. Vera sat on the couch stumped.
"We're talking about the Cullen boy? Edward?" she asked her eyebrows rising. I nodded and pushed my hair away from my face. Rose came back with a glass of water and sat back down.
"Next reason you can't do it?" she asked.
"Rose, I'm doing this. It's over. I told him no!" I said stunned by the change in her.
"Why?" she asked and I shook my head as the tears began to flow freely.
"He's a Cullen, Rosie," Vera said softly and I looked at her with thankful eyes. She smiled and then a loud ringing filled the room.
"Henry," she mouthed before standing and walking toward the bedroom to talk with her fiancé.
"She's right. He is a Cullen."
"That never stopped you before. He was a Cullen eight years ago. Did that ever mean anything? You were still a Swan," she shot.
"Yes and look how our relationship ended!" I shouted.
"You were children. You're fully functioning adults now! You're parents don't control your decisions anymore!"
"But family is still important to us!" I said and quickly wiped the tears from my eyes.
"And look where you went yesterday! Alice. Alice Cullen or whatever her last name is! You have my support. You have hers. You had your grandfather's! Are we not family?" she asked softly. She made this sound so simple. She made it sound easy.
"What about Jasper? My parents? His?" I whispered.
"Jasper will get over it. He loves you too much not to. And you don't think your parents would put it aside. You think they'll risk never seeing their only child again for this? Or their only chance at grandkids?" she asked and I took a deep breath.
"I made my choice, Rosie. Don't make it harder," I said in a defeated voice. The room grew quiet.
"I don't really believe you have," she whispered and I stared at her with watery eyes.
"I'm happy. I was happy before he came into my life and I'll be happy when he's gone," I said in a heavy breath.
"You're such a liar!" Rose stated.
"Rose, I don't love him anymore. I did once, but everything is different now. I fell in love with another man. I've created a life without Edward and I don't need him," I lied and sat back on the couch.
"You do love him Bella! You've met your one and only and you know it. I know you love Jake, but you don't love him like Edward," she said in a cold voice that she had never directly used on me. I stared her down.
"I have to!" I stated.
"Why?" she asked her eyes hardening. Before I could answer the doorbell rang.
"I'll get it!" Vera said loudly and came out the hall to answer the door. We both looked toward the door as it swung open.
Rose and I gasped why Vera stared dumbly.
He didn't…
"Bella!" he said with a bright smile and Vera moved to let him in. He walked in and pushed aside snow off his jacket. His bright smile made my eyes water and my heart pump a little harder.
"What-what are you doing here?" Rosalie asked with wide eyes.
"Jacob," I said with much less enthusiasm.
.
.
.
Edward: I opened my phone with numb fingers.
"Yeah?" I asked into it.
"You coming home?" Alice asked on the other end.
"I…" I knew it was time to go home, but I couldn't. I didn't want to. I was giving up if I went home, but she wasn't coming.
"It's been 4 hours. You probably have frostbite," she said angrily. I only chuckled. Wow four hours. That was a long time. I closed my eyes in defeat,
"I'm pretty toasty actually," I teased. Anything to get my mind off of her. I didn't want to have these feelings twice. I didn't think I would live through the first time. Now it was feeling much much worse. The sinking of your heart into the pit of your stomach. The nausea that crept up. The plain exhaustion that floated throughout my entire body.
"Cindy wants you home," Alice said and I ran a hand through my snow covered hair.
"Okay," I said staring at my watch. 7:30.
"I'm sorry," Alice said quietly.
"I should have known it. But I had to be sure," I said with a heavy breath.
"You couldn't actually expect her to come. You did end it first," she said and I felt the laugh break free. The bitter humorless laugh.
"No, I guess I couldn't. I'll talk when I get home," I said quickly and hung up the phone. The cold was catching up with me now. I rested my head against the brick wall letting the mixture of emotions run through me once more. I didn't actually think I would ever feel this again. This heartbroken feeling.
I was almost positive it could never happen after she left eight years ago. I was almost positive because I knew I would never feel the way about anyone again.
And dammit I was scared after she left. She accused me of not chasing after her, but it scared me. I didn't want to find her again only to know she had started a life without me. I couldn't take that feeling again.
It was ironic now that I thought about it.
I had never sought her out for fear of finding her with a life, but truth was she waiting for me all that time. God that just killed.
I waited too long. But I had given it my best. I could accept that right. I could live with that right?
I did all I could. She had to meet me halfway and she decided she couldn't do it. I couldn't even be angry at her and that just pissed me off more. I could never be angry at her. I hit my head against the wall hoping the pain in my head would distract me from both her and the cold.
I opened my eyes after a while to find that the city had actually grown a bit quieter. It was the cold and the night that had calmed it. There weren't as many pedestrians out in the streets, but the cars still zoomed by endlessly.
I peeled myself away from the wall.
It was truly over.
I took a deep breath to hold myself together and began to walk away. Our story was amazing and this was the final end.
I wished it could have ended so many different ways. I wished I wasn't a coward. I should have tracked her down earlier. I should have acted sooner. Maybe I should have even put up a bigger fight when she wanted to call it off, but I couldn't find myself to be selfish enough to ask her to wait for me.
She still did.
I glance back. I shook my head at my stupid thought and walked to my car.
We were done.
.
.
.
Bella: It was empty. Dammit all!
I kicked the wall and leaned against it trying to catch my breath. I saw two cups of coffee on the edge and knew he had been here. He had waited, but I was too late now.
I felt my eyes prickle. I had ended a perfectly good relationship. Broke a good man's heart and there was nothing to show for it. I pulled my hair and felt the tears slide down my eyes.
What was wrong with me! The pain was quick and excruciating. It felt as though someone had ripped a hole in my heart. It hurt beyond belief because I was too late. This was it.
It was finally over.
My legs couldn't find the strength to hold me up and I felt my body slide along the wall until I sat on the lightly covered snowy ground. I froze and let the shivers and shakes of sobs control me.
How could I be so stupid?
Rose was right about everything. I had no reason not to be with him. He was everything and now he was gone. The tears continued to leak down my cheeks. I couldn't stop them now.
I rested my head against my knees. Maybe it wasn't over? Maybe I could go to Alice's and…
And what?
Tell him I changed my mind. What if he doesn't accept it? What if he accuses me of being too late as I had done with him?
It would be better than admitting it was over right?
"Bella?"
I snapped my head up and saw him standing on the edge of the curb watching with weary eyes. A slow smile crept over my face. I stood and threw myself at him. He was cold and I briefly wondered how long he had been out here. The tears didn't stop, but the reason was completely different. He wrapped his arms around my waist and I buried my face in the crook of his neck.
"You came," he whispered into my ear. I laughed softly but I wasn't ready to pull away from him just yet. It felt nice to hold him.
"You waited," I replied.
He was mine again. His smile, his eyes, his perfectly ruffled hair was all mine. I couldn't live without this.
"I'm sorry," I began to mumble into his neck and kissed the line of his jaw. He pulled back and took my face in his icy fingers.
"I'm so glad you're here," he whispered and I thought I saw his eyes water but before I could check for sure his lips were on mine.
I sighed in contented bliss and wrapped my numb fingers in his hair. This kiss was everything. It was our anger, our happiness, our regret, our sadness, our past, our future all wrapped up in this. This simple kiss.
Our lips moved in a dance they clearly remembered all too well. It was better than anything I had ever experienced. His fingers dug harder into my skin making my face tilt slightly to give better access. My head was dizzy at our breathless effort.
There really weren't words to express this feeling. This feeling of another chance. Our happiness.
He pulled apart slowly and rested his forehead against mine.
"I love you," he breathed softly. I smiled.
"Me too. I love you. I do. I'm sorry for making you wait. I'm sorry for hurting you. I'm sorry for—"
He shut me up by capturing my lips in another kiss.
"Shut up," he said with a laugh before closing his eyes. He didn't kiss me again. It was quiet and I took the moment to stare at his face. I softly stroked his cheek and his eyes opened lazily. I smiled again because I couldn't keep it off my face.
"I am the most horrible person ever. Who breaks up with their boyfriend after they traveled all the way to Chicago just to spend Christmas with you," I said with a hysterical giggle.
"He was glutton for punishment. You were always supposed to be with me," he said his eyes darkening slightly. I nodded slowly and rubbed my thumped softly under his eyes.
"Always," I agreed in a whisper. He smiled suddenly.
He pulled away and offered me his hand. I stared at it for a while and then back at him. His eyes were shining in relief and joy. I smiled brightly and twined my hands with his.
We were going to be okay.
With our hands together and tucked at our side we began to walk down the street. Something we had never done and this was change. This was us. This was our end.
This was our fate. Our taken second chance and this time around we would be okay. We would find a way to make it.
"Where we going?" I asked and his hand squeezed softly around mine.
"Somewhere warm. I'm freezing," he said with a laugh and I began to laugh with him.
"Yeah, okay."
I leaned against him.
We'd deal with everything as it came along. Crossing every bridge when we come across it. We would do it together and we'd get through it.
Now our mission was to get warm.
But I had to admit I was feeling pretty happy just being next to him. Just being together.
"What are we going to do now?" I asked and swung our closed hands. He wrapped his arm around me and placed it over my shoulder all while holding my hand.
"I was thinking maybe a summer wedding, two kids, and a house in the suburbs."
"That sounds good to me."
"I thought so."
"Could we make it three kids?"
"Bella…"
"Okay. Fine. Just promise me our happy ending," I said with a smile.
"I promise forever and always to make you happy."
"To make us happy."
"Us. Forever."
. . .
People seriously doubted my happy ending! What the heck! I only have a few stories without them. I'm a huge fan of them. Eh, at least I kept you guessing but I think everyone knew in the back of their head that Bella would pick Edward.
Wow so this story decided it wanted to drag a few more chapters from me than I actually planned. But I've got to listen to my stories. Big scare…this chapter was almost not posted because I lost my flash drive and my lap top doesn't have internet. Luckily my bro-in-law had one I could borrow. :)
Okay so 'THE EPILOUGE' gets posted in like the next two days for sure. In the mean time…
REVIEW!