Gah! I'm soooo sorry, I had this done like five days ago... but I literally snapped my wireless internet card in half... So, yeah this chapter makes it obvious who's POV these chapters are in. anyway. As to reviewers, thank you quite much. Stylistically it's going to change a bit from here on out, so to those of you who were worried about dragging, don't. :)
Fleeting
His eyes met mine once more and the force of the emotion he was trying to hide and smother within them nearly sent a shiver down my spine. He had beautiful eyes. Beautiful golden eyes. They always openly displayed his emotions to me, and I hated it when he tried to hide things. He was trying so hard lately to hide things from me.
I'm sure he read the sad expression in my eyes because now his was one of sympathy and apology. But he'd only look at me shortly recently. Every glance was fleeting. I hated it more than anything. He was holding onto something so closely that he could barely look at me anymore.
I'm getting sick now. My stomach rolls angrily in worry and grief. It flicks from side to side rocking like a storm is raging inside of it. My eyes water and clench back the urge to cry right here in the middle of class. He sends me a glance eyes widening in shock and worry at my current state. I send him back a look of pain and sorrow. His eyes fill with guilt and he knows this pain is his fault. He knows that by hiding from me he's making me sick and leaving me hurting. He looks away and I can see him bite his lip. His way of fighting back tears.
If hiding what he thinks he's done is hurting us both so bad… why can't he just tell me?
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A gentle voice and touch, we whisper for those all around us to hear. He pulls me closer, plays a line. To them he's looking straight into my eyes; to me he's looking anywhere but. His eyes shift from my forehead, to my cheek, my nose, my hair. Nearly imperceptible shifts, but of course I'll notice how hard he struggles.
I get a fleeting look into his eyes, as he accidentally brushes them over mine and gets caught for a moment. Heat. Pain. Disgust. The last hurts to see. The first is unexplainable. Then they're gone, he finishes his line and the girls around us scream. All I need is just a moment. Just a second for him to explain what's going on. That's all I'm asking for. I just want him to be back to me again, this distance in his touches and his words is driving me to insanity. I just want my brother back. Apparently that is far too much to ask for.
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We've always slept together since… always; since the night he woke up and saw me in the middle of a nightmare he'd slept with his arms around me. And I was glad he did. I felt safer nowhere else besides wrapped up in the arms of someone who truly understood me and cared about me.
There was not a person I trusted more than him. Especially to watch over me in my sleep. But recently, his arms wound less tightly. And when I woke up they were gone. He was facing away from me, towards the wall, instead of having his arms wrapped around me, chin resting on the top of my head, making me feel safe and secure. Had he stopped caring…?
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Fleeting. That's all everything had been recently. I enjoyed feeling my brother's love for me, through his adoring glances and light touches. But now every look was fleeting, I barely got to peer into his enrapturing golden eyes before he flung his gaze elsewhere. His touches were like lies whispered across my skin. He didn't mean anything in them. The affection and happiness that normally filled his movement was gone and they were distant and pained. Did he hate me so much he couldn't stand to look at me or touch me?
Hopefully this awful feeling boiling in my stomach and this phase he was going through was just as fleeting as the glances he gave. It really was starting to make me sick, I needed him to be here for me, because if he wasn't who was?
No one who could understand me. And I can't be alone.
I don't know how to be anymore…
I hope you enjoyed? Tell me what you think! Reviews make me write faster [and better!] for realz this time :)