I had writers block. Sorry.

I hope you enjoy this, although I doubt it's worth the wait.

DISCLAIMER: Don't own Ouran. Huzzah.

Unadulterated

He looked at me with clouded half lidded golden eyes that had grown a shade darker with the uncontained unadulterated lust that filled his gaze. His body moved slowly, confidently, and gracefully towards me in even strides. When he was less then a foot away he stopped and looked me up and down in a ferocious and painfully slow way, to the point it felt he could suck my soul out with his gaze. Then his arms reached towards me, controlled, nearly languid and ran up my arms to wrap around my neck. He pulled his body closer to mine set it flush before leaning his head to my shoulder and turning it so his breath ghosted across my ear and I held back a shiver.

In the most sensuous voice I've heard, low and husky he whispered–all the while entangling his hands into my hair and forcing me to hold back a low hum as his hands moved tantalizingly through my messy locks– "Hikaru…" He paused here and moved closer, wrapping himself tighter into me, his hips now pressing against mine, his heart beating swiftly against my chest causing an irregular rhythm within my own, his lips now ghosting the shell of my ear, "I want you."

His words were so drawn out I shivered almost harshly against him before moving my arms to wrap fiercely around him, pulling him tighter, closer, needing to feel him securely against my body, needing to feel him touching me everywhere. He pulled his head from my shoulder and looked at me with those unseeing golden eyes that lolled and rolled in lust. His lips, pink, light, begging for my touch drew me in and I dropped a light kiss on them. Our lips barely touched but we remained like that for what seemed ever; where his breathing began and mine ended I wasn't sure.

I pulled away and then smashed my lips down upon his, he bowed, willingly, against my force and his lips moved against mine before I ran a quick tongue over his lips which were so sweet, and he opened his mouth to allow me entrance.

Then we were falling backwards and I was over him, in between his legs, on a black sheeted bed. His hands were swiftly removing my shirt and stroking feverish skin as it was revealed. I leaned down to place my lips at his neck teasing, biting, sucking until I found his most sensitive spot and as I took a strong suck he moaned and arched up into me. The sound sending a jolt of fire and lightning straight to my already tight stomach.

"Kaoru," I groaned out, hating and loving the fire filling my veins. Then the name I'd uttered reached my ears and I stopped. Backing away to look once more down at the body revealed to me, the body that matched mine nearly perfectly, I nearly shouted.

"No, no, no, no…" the words poured out of my mouth faster than I could recognize and I was backing up and falling off the bed, tumbling to the floor, shaking, moving backwards, away, still the words shooting out of my mouth. And he knelt up on the bed, looking down at me wounded.

"Hikaru," He said crawling down after me, literally crawling up to me where I was pushed flush against the wall. I was breathing hard, each breath painful and filling me with a reminder of my hatred of self. "Hi-ka-ru." He pronounced each syllable distinctly. The sound bounced off the walls, and surrounded me. "Why? Why are you afraid to touch me?" He whispered like sin.

I shivered harshly at his voice. "It's wrong… It's wrong Kao. We're… we're brothers." I explained away, wishing he'd only leave me alone.

"But that doesn't mean we can't… especially here…" He said leaning in from where he knelt before me, one hand resting on my knee, and the other stroking the side of my face slowly now.

"No! I won't give in to temptation, I won't; I won't; I won't." I clenched my eyes shut against him and turned my face away. I felt his hand, stroking my face gently, and his breath, now too close to my skin, and his lips as they pressed to mine.

I awoke then, nearly whimpering with my self loathing. And all I knew was that I hated my self, in the most unadulterated form of hate I'd ever experienced. It burned through my lungs and burned over my skin and through my mind and it left a trail of black despair and disgust, sinking in every where.

I'm sure I would have fallen into the black abyss that seemed to be ready to swallow me whole but I heard a low whining noise besides me. Immediately I knew it to be Kaoru. I could feel that he was laying up, shivering as the whimpers escaped his lips.

Instantly I was in twin mode and my heart bled for him, and I wanted to whimper, if only because he was in pain, and I could feel his pain falling into me. I wanted to sit up in bed wrap my arms around him, and let him cry to me about what was hurting him. To tell him it was okay. He'd be alright. I wanted to be comforting and brotherly, but I couldn't.

It killed me, but I couldn't hold him when I wanted to be holding him. I was an awful brother. I love him. I really do. It's all encompassing and it's always been that way. He has always been the other half of my soul, someone created just for me to have, so I would never be alone, so I'd always be understood. But now I wanted him too. How selfish could I possibly be? And as I breathed in deeply I rolled away to face the wall, hate filling every single crevice of my body, flowing through my heart, rolling in my veins, and I stayed awake all night listening to the whimpers and sobs of my beloved brother, and feeling the bed tremble as his body did.

When he finally fell into an exhausted sleep, I remained awake, wondering what I could do to fix this...

Well, do tell me what you think.

I feel like I'm going to go back and tweak this later. I'm not very satisfied with it.

Review, pretty please. [btw, I love my reviewers I have currently. You guys are WONDERFUL and the reason I continued.]