Here's another chapter. RL has got in the way! Doing work experience atm and I'm sooo tired after a day of work with a school of 56 kids all calling for your attention! This song has been inspiring me and keeping me sane all day, and I was completely shocked and Happy when it was the first song on shuffle. These are the thoughts I have felt during deaths of family and friends, which have been renewed this morning when I didn't have to do work experience today as a women I have known since I was a baby, and has helped out at the school died and all the work experience kids got sent home. All my thoughts are for her husband, children, and mother who all live in my village.

This chapter contains the greiving period of a loved one, I'm sorry in advance if you don't think it's good enough!

Read, Reveiw, Enjoy!

Disclaimer, The character's are JKR's and the lyrics and inspiration comes from Diana Vickers.

N.U.M.B. - Diana Vickers

N.U.M.B I feel empty

Of feeling, of feeling

Even God is grieving

N.U.M.B, elevate me

I'm drowning, I'm drowning

Please God, I'm numb to life

No, I still can't believe it, I won't believe it. My eyes deceived me, it never really happened.

I chant this over and over again. I've barely said a word to my family. They're all trying to comfort me, but none of them understand. They've never lost the other half of them. I don't mean their other half in their heart, I mean the complete other half. I'll never be me anymore. Everyone has their scars from the war, but most of mine are invisible. My scars are inside, my soul torn in half, my partner in crime gone, in a flash of light. His laughter still echoing on his face, the face that resembles mine so much our own mother couldn't tell us apart until that fateful night last year when Snape cut my ear off trying to save my life. It's never going to be Fred & George again, unless mum accidentally says it, which will bring back everything, everything that's happening right now, the pain that keeps ricocheting around my empty body. His laughter, his courage, his humour, all gone, forever. The sky outside is clear, most people think of this as a reason to rejoice, I feel that God is grieving too, that he is as empty of emotion as I am.

I'm not in control of my body now, I haven't eaten anything, I've been subconsciously avoiding places that remind me of him, but it's just not working, because everything reminds me of him, every place I've been he went too, every prank I pulled he was right beside me all the way, but now, now he's gone, and I'm left here, to drown. Please, somebody, Merlin, God, anybody help me, I'm stuck here, my grief and agony ripping through my body, over and over again, I can't escape, I'm numb, I can't do anything.

Fred would want me to be joking about his death, keep up the smiles in these hard times whilst we're rebuilding the wizarding world, what he didn't realise was that whilst the wizarding world was being rebuilt, so was my world. I would need a partner at Weasley Wizarding Wheezes now; Ginny would be up to the job, but she's got Harry and her high-flying aspirations of being a Quidditch player, Maybe Ron, although he wanted to be an auror, I guess I'm just making excuses now, I don't want anyone to replace Fred. I want Fred back, and that's never going to happen well, unless he doesn't come back as a ghost, no a poltergeist. And with these thoughts of Fred being a poltergeist and Weasley Wizard Wheezes I start returning to reality, I don't know how long it's been. Three days I think. I better get my job done, be the one cheering everyone else up. Putting a smile on their faces even if I can't put one on my own for a while. I will also need to help with his funeral, fireworks, jokes, the whole shebang, the way he would want to go. Most of all, I need to go and support my family, I'm not the only one who's lost someone, Mum and Dad have lost a son and two dear friends, Ginny, Ron, Bill, Charlie, Harry, Hermione, we've all lost family members, friends or both during this war, or the last one, but now they're over, we can move on, but I know we'll never forget them all.

I know I'll never forget Fred, my other half, my partner in crime, my twin, my brother in heart and soul.