Chapter Six: Confusion

Draco woke up the next morning, feelings a hand on his chest. He gently touched her hand with his own and caressed it softly. She stirred and opened her eyes in the dark, looking up at him to see his eyes were looking back at her.

"What time is it?"

Draco glanced at the clock on the bedside table and sighed. "It's only six-thirty. You should go back to sleep."

Hermione curled into his body but didn't close her eyes. "I'm not really tired anymore. Are you going to go back to sleep?"

"No, I don't think so. I used to get up around this time anyway before you and Ginny moved in. I'm a morning person," he smirked, kissing her forehead gently.

Hermione smiled and then sighed contently before she sat up and climbed out of the four poster bed. She looked down at her feet that were hiding in Draco's large pajama pants. She bit her lip and then looked at him.

"I need new clothes," she spoke in a timid voice.

He looked at her as he also got out of the bed and stretched. "We can go shopping for them today if you want. Do you want Ginny and Blaise to come with?"

Hermione nodded and felt her stomach rumble. She cursed herself, knowing that Draco could hear it from his side of the room. "Please don't say it," she pleaded.

"Say what?"

"Please don't ask me if I want something to eat."

Draco ran a hand through his messy hair and walked over to her. "You made a promise to me, that you would gain a little more weight, remember?"

Hermione felt her chest tightening uncomfortably and looked away, nodding. "I-I know, but… c-can we start tomorrow? I just… need a little more time."

He looked at her with almost disappointment in his eyes and this made her feel small again. Draco just nodded and started towards the bathroom.

"I'm going to go take a shower. Help yourself to some coffee or whatever you want, Hermione."

She watched him close the door and then shuffled out to the kitchen to make a full pot for everyone. Hermione looked in the living room to see Ginny lying in front of Blaise with his arms wrapped around her. She felt jealousy rise in her just by looking at her. Ginny wanted to get better, and therefore, that's why the boys seemed to like her more. It wasn't fair. It wasn't Hermione's fault she was like this. She didn't even think what she was doing was unhealthy. It was all about the mindset.

Hermione ran her hand through her messy hair and then waited for the pot to fill. She couldn't be like this. She couldn't cause drama between all of them, nor did she want to. Hermione knew she was envious of Ginny's willpower but knew that she had to be the better person and pretend like nothing was going on between them. She had to pretend to be normal.

When the coffee was done, she heard movement on the couch and assumed Ginny and Blaise were awake. Hermione poured two cups of the coffee and walked into the living room before handing them each a hot mug.

"Thank you, Hermione."

"Yeah, thanks," Ginny echoed, glancing up at Hermione but smiled weakly.

"You're welcome, guys."

Hermione walked back into the kitchen and poured herself a hot cup and held it in her hands, feeling alone and isolated. She felt like an outcast.

Draco finally came out a few minutes later and poured himself a cup. "Ginny and Blaise awake?"

"Y-Yeah…"

He walked over to where she was leaning against the counter and leaned against it as well. "Do you want to talk, Hermione?"

She shrugged, taking another sip. "I don't know. I'm… thinking about moving out. Ginny and I aren't close anymore, and I just don't like the way you and Blaise talk about me when I'm in the next room."

He edged closer to her. "Move? I don't think that's a good idea. I don't want you to keep trying to get pills, and starve yourself. I don't want you to die… I want to take care of you. Why won't you let me help you?"

"Because I'm a lost cause, Draco. I'm just wasting your time and a burden to everyone here."

Draco turned to stand in front of her, placing his free hand on her cheek. "Listen to me," he spoke in a gentle tone. "You're not wasting my time, and you're not a burden to anyone. I love you, and that's why I want to take care of you."

Hermione searched his eyes. "I don't want to be taken care of. I've been doing fine this far. I think I can make it on my own."

"If you go out there, you will die. Either by Harry's hand or by not eating, but either way, you will not make it."

Hermione sighed and looked down at her coffee. "It's great to know you have so much faith in me," she said sarcastically in a soft tone.

"I do have faith in you, Hermione. I believe in you, but I also believe that your safety is my first priority. I love you, and I selfishly don't want you to leave," he finished in a whisper.

Hermione looked up at him and searched his eyes, sensing that Draco was genuinely sincere. "I love you too, Draco."

He leaned down and planted a kiss on her forehead before running his fingers through her caramel hair, lingering for as long as he could before he reluctantly pulled back.

"Do you want to try to eat something?"

Hermione swallowed hard, becoming nervous and then took a deep breath before finally nodding.

"Great, we should start with something small," he said as he gently lifted Hermione up and set her on the counter so she could be eye level with him.

She was surprised by this but smiled softly, although she couldn't dismiss the feeling like Draco was taking care of a child. It bothered her that she was so childish and that she was so stubborn that she wouldn't even eat anything, and he had to make her. Hermione looked over and saw he had an apple and was cutting it in small, thin slices.

She began to pick at the skin around her nails to distract herself from being anxious. "Have you had any girlfriends besides Ginny since school ended?"

"Would it bother you if I did?"

She shrugged. "No, I guess not. I'm just curious."

Draco placed the apple slices in a bowl and walked over to her, standing between her legs as he held out the bowl. "There have been a couple women. It was… just sex though, no real relationship or commitment to them. How about you? Have you been with anyone since school ended?"

Hermione hesitantly reached out and grabbed the bowl and looked down at the pieces. "No relationships. It was just about sex. It… was just business," she said quietly, suddenly feeling ashamed.

Draco reached out and tucked a lock of her hair behind her ears. "We all do things we're not proud of. I don't think less of you because of the men you've had sex with. That doesn't matter to me. Not now, not now that I finally have you. You're beautiful, and smart, and nothing you say or do will make me love you any less."

Hermione blushed slightly and then tenderly grabbed a slice of apple before putting it to her lips. She looked at Draco who smiled at her lovingly, and had a split moment of indecision before she finally bit a piece of the apple off and started chewing it.

"Apples don't have many calories. Don't worry, love."

She nodded gratefully and swallowed before biting into another chunk. "Ginny will never forgive me. She hates me."

Draco looked over at Ginny and Blaise who were talking easily and laughing occasionally before looking back at Hermione. "Nah, she doesn't hate you. She just wants you to get better, just like me and Blaise do. She'll forgive you when she sees you eating again."

Hermione placed another piece to her lips, feeling a lot less nervous about eating the apples now and felt it almost come naturally to her. She was quiet for awhile, lost in her thoughts.

Draco noticed her marked sliced only interrupted by the quiet chewing of the apples. He placed his hands on her slim thighs, gently thumbing them affectionately. "Sickle for your thoughts, love?"

She set the bowl down beside her, enjoying his soft touch on her thighs that were not in danger of touching for a long time. "Do you think it's odd that Cormac hasn't come back? We haven't even gotten Ginny's divorce papers."

He sighed and looked down. "It is a bit strange he hasn't come back… but maybe we should go get the papers so Ginny can sign them. Do you want to come with me? We can do it before we go get you some clothes."

She smiled now and leaned in, kissing his cheek. "I'd love to come with you."

Draco wrapped his arms around Hermione, breathing in all of her. It somehow made him relax a bit. He felt her relax as well and felt relieved. He pulled away and kissed her lips.

"Do you want to see if Ginny will lend you a pair of her clothes for today? I'm going to go get ready."

Hermione nodded squeamishly, not wanting to ask Ginny for anything after their fight they had had outside. Once he disappeared from the kitchen, she slowly walked over to Ginny who was leaning against Blaise, his arm around her. When she saw Hermione, her demeanor changed and Ginny looked up at her with annoyance laced in her brown eyes.

"D-Do… you think I could… umm… borrow some clothes? It'd just… be for today and I'll wash them and get them back to you," Hermione spoke delicately to her, waiting for rejection.

Ginny looked at Blaise who motioned with his eyes to help Hermione out. She sighed heavily and stood up, waving to Hermione to follow her. She followed Ginny down the hallway to the guest room and saw Ginny's suitcase there on the bed.

"I just… need jeans and a shirt…"

Ginny dug through the case before grabbing a pair of dark blue jeans and a long-sleeved purple shirt. She handed it to Hermione. "It'll probably be a little big, but it should fit you okay. You always were thinner than me."

Hermione was about to protest but Ginny turned on her heel and walked out of the room, leaving her alone. She shut the door softly and then started to change into Ginny's jeans first. Ginny was right; the jeans were loose on Hermione thin frame and she felt uncomfortably huge in them but she wasn't picky right now. She'd soon have her own clothes and she'd be able to feel thin again. She scrounged around the suitcase for deodorant and used it, not caring if Ginny knew or not at this point. She put it back in its place before putting on the long sleeved shirt. Hermione walked over to the mirror and took a deep breath before looking at herself, pulling the sleeves over her hands.

Once she had the courage to walk out of the room, she walked into the bathroom that wasn't being used and gingerly stepped on the scale.

99.5.

Hermione ran her fingers through her hair and whimpered. "Shit… damn it…"

Now she was going to have to gain seven pounds instead of six in order to stay out of the hospital. She stepped off the scale and tried to fight the tears that were threatening to fall. Hermione took a deep breath again and tried to relax. She couldn't let Draco know about this. He'd become overbearing and hound her to eat more.

She felt so out of control in this whole situation. Hermione felt like she had no control over anything anymore, and she hated this feeling more than anything. Her chest tightened now and she suddenly began to breathe harder. She walked over to the medicine cabinet and rummaged through everything until she found Draco's shaving kit. She opened it and saw a silver blade. Hermione grabbed it quickly before putting the kit back and sat on the floor, needing to feel in control again.

She rolled up her left sleeve, revealing her pale frail arms that were stained with faint scars from mistakes past. Hermione slowly dragged the cold metal across her skin of her wrist, deep enough to feel pain, but not too deep to kill her. The pain felt oddly comforting as it made her need to catch her breath and after she felt better, she heard a knock at the door.

"Hermione? Are you in there?"

She looked down at her bleeding wrist and cursed herself. She tried to think quickly, whispering a spell to make the bleeding stop. Once it did, all that was left was a clean looking cut and she rolled her sleeve back down.

"Yeah! I'll be right out, Draco! I'm just brushing my hair…"

She heard footsteps walk away from the bathroom and she relaxed again, making her hair look presentable and as tame as she could make it. She walked out of the bathroom and then over to Draco who was waiting at the door.

"Ready, baby?"

Hermione smiled and nodded, following him out of the apartment. After they made it outside, he took her hand and apparated them inside the building of the Ministry of Magic. He walked with her until he stopped in front of a door that read: Department of Domestic Affairs.

"Do you want to stay out here? It'll just take a minute."

She nodded and sat down on a nearby bench outside the office as Draco went inside it. She heard faint voices and then looked around, feeling uneasy by the lack of people in the hallway. Hermione heard footsteps now and looked down the end of the hall to see Cormac. She hadn't seen him since school but it was difficult to mistake him for anyone else. He was tall and was wearing an expensive business suit that hugged his body.

"Granger… fancy seeing you here."

Hermione debated what she should do right now. Should she call for Draco? What would he do? She bit her lip and looked up at Cormac as he hovered over her now with intense, dark eyes that feigned friendliness.

"W-What do you want, Cormac?"

He smirked and then sat down beside her on the bench, resting his arm on the back of it. "I don't want anything, Granger. Why would you ask such a thing?"

She scooted over away from him but he scooted closer to her and she could now smell his strong cologne. Hermione looked down at her lap, trying not to look at him. She knew the smart thing would be to yell for Draco but she felt weak, and couldn't find her voice.

"How is Ginny doing?" Cormac placed his free hand on her leg now, caressing it roughly.

She let out a soft cry out of pain and then looked up at him. "Don't you dare ask me how she's doing while you have your hand on my leg, Cormac. You're a scumbag."

Cormac leaned in closer now and then whispered in her ear. "You really shouldn't talk like that to me, Granger. I have pull around here, and I know that your dirty little secret. You're a walking skeleton and you don't want help, but I can easily have you put in hospital with a flick of my wrist. I know people and I could just say one thing and you'll be put in there so fast it'll make your head spin."

Hermione felt herself shiver as he spoke the words against her skin. He was still dangerously close to her now and she didn't like it but couldn't find the courage to push him off.

"Hey! Get away from her!"

Cormac reacted quickly and stood up, glaring at Draco with a smirk. "I was just telling Granger what a beautiful and magnificent woman she is…"

Draco motioned for Hermione to come over to him, and she did so quickly and willingly, hiding behind him. He glared back darkly at Cormac.

"You better hope you like the single life, Cormac. Ginny won't be coming back to you ever again. I have the divorce papers in my hand now and after she signs it, if you so much speak to her in a menacing way, she can legally have you arrested for stalking."

Hermione held Draco's hand tightly and he gently squeezed hers in reassurance that she was safe.

"I'll find someone else. You can't save every woman from me, Malfoy. We both know you're not a saint."

"I may not be able to save every woman from you, but I can protect the ones who are my friends," Draco said before he started to lead Hermione the opposite way down the hall away from Cormac but looked over his shoulder every so often.

Cormac chuckled and Hermione heard it echo down the empty hallway. "It's a good thing you don't have many friends then!"

Draco ignored him and continued out of Cormac's sight until they were both outside. He stopped walking and turned to Hermione, eyeing her up and down cautiously.

"Are you okay? Did he hurt you?"

Hermione shook her head and knew she should feel better but she could still smell Cormac's sick smell. "I-I'm fine, Draco."

He nodded in understanding, knowing she was shaken from the encounter. "Do you want to go home or do you still want to go get your clothes?"

She bit her lip and made an attempt to relax herself. "C-Can we still get me clothes?"

"Of course," Draco nodded again. "Let's go, Hermione."

He took her hand again and then apparated her into Hogsmeade, walking towards Gladrags Wizardwear. They walked inside and Hermione started looking anxious, worried about the price. She glanced over at the jeans rack and felt Draco's breath on her neck.

"Don't worry about the price. I'll get it for you."

Hermione reluctantly nodded and then walked over to the rack, looking through the jeans for a size double zero and then decided on a zero instead. She was going to gain some weight while living with Draco so she had to plan accordingly. She looked at the price tag and flinched although she was well aware Draco had more than enough to pay for it.

About twenty minutes later and three new pairs of jeans as well as several shirts, Draco and Hermione had paid for the clothes and started walking home. They walked in a comfortable silence before Draco looked over at Hermione.

"What did Cormac say to you, baby?"

Hermione bit her lip hard and looked up at him, continuing to walk towards Draco's apartment. "He… he said basically if I said anything bad to him, he'd put me in hospital. He was saying how he knew people and… I don't know. That was pretty much all he said. It just… creeped me out. Why do you ask?"

Draco took her hand with the hand that wasn't holding the bag and gently thumbed her hand with his. "I was just curious. I didn't know if he was sexually harassing you or what. I'm sorry I was in the office for so long."

Hermione shrugged. "It's okay. It couldn't have been more than several minutes. Did you get the papers?"

"Yeah, they're in my pants pocket. All Ginny has to do is sign them and I can give them back to the office we were just at. She'll finally be free from Cormac."

Hermione smiled casually. "Good, she'll like that. I think she found someone else to love."

Draco glanced at Hermione again. "Who?"

"Blaise… you didn't see him holding her? They were cuddling on the couch."

Draco looked a bit uneasy now and sighed, walking up the stairs to the apartment when they reached it. "I was afraid of that."

She looked at him curiously now. "What do you mean? What's so bad about them being in love?"

"Well it could be a problem if they really aren't in love. Ginny isn't looking for a relationship right now. She just wants to feel protected and safe, and she feels those things with Blaise. It could be a problem if… he's in love with her, and getting the wrong idea," he said apprehensively. "I really don't want her to hurt him. Blaise is a good man, and a good friend. It's bad enough I already physically hurt him."

Hermione bit her lip in worry and felt guilty for bringing it up to Draco. She was quiet as he opened the door and walked inside, closing it behind her before looking at Blaise and Ginny who were still cuddling on the couch.

"Ginny, can I talk to you for a minute?" Draco asked, nodded to Hermione as if to tell her she could go to her room to change. After she did, he looked back at Ginny.

"Go ahead, Draco."

He cleared his throat impatiently now. "Alone."

Blaise looked at Draco with a stern expression. "Whatever you have to say, just say it here. I'm not leaving and she's not either."

Draco rubbed the back of his neck in frustration. "No, I just want to talk to her for a minute. Please, Blaise."

Ginny looked at Blaise. "It's alright. It'll just be a few minutes."

He kissed the top of her head and stood up before walking down the hall towards Ginny's room where Hermione was.

"What the hell are you doing, Ginny? You don't love him."

She repositioned herself on the couch and looked at Draco with an unreadable expression. "I kind of love him. I can't explain it."

Draco walked closer to her. "Well I can. You love the protection he gives you. You're scared, and you have every right to be, but you're going to break his heart!"

"No, I won't. He doesn't love me like that. He's just a good friend, Draco."

"He is a good friend, to me! I'm pretty damn sure that he thinks you're falling in love with him, and you're not. You're confused because you feel safe with him and you don't know how to act. He's had his heart broken more times than I can count and I swear that it breaks him a little more every time. Don't add to that. He doesn't need to deal with that shit."

Ginny looked sad and her eyes were full of confusion, unsure how she felt now. She brought her legs to her chest and wrapped her thin arms around them, looking empty. Draco was starting to wish he never said anything but knew it was for both of their own good. He sighed and walked over to Ginny before he knelt down in front of her.

"I'm sorry, but I'm just telling you how I feel about you two. I just don't want you to hurt him if you don't truly love him."

Ginny remained silent now and in her same, statuesque state. Draco sighed and stood up now before going down the hall to where Blaise was, leaning against the bathroom door but straightening up when he saw Draco coming his way.

"You can go back to her now."

He searched Draco's face. "What did you say to her, man?"

"Nothing that didn't need to be said," he answered simply before opening Ginny's bedroom door and closing it behind him, seeing Hermione already changed into her new clothes, Ginny's clothes folded on the bed.

"How did she react when you talked to her?"

Draco stroked Hermione's hair softly. "I think she sees the reality of how she's acting with Blaise, and I think she realizes that she's not really in love with him. She's really confused though about what's going on between her and Blaise. I don't think she realized that she could be unintentionally leading him on."

She leaned against Draco, breathing him in. "Do you think you're confused about how you feel about us? Maybe you think you love me, but mistaking it for something else…"

He wrapped his arm around her and forced her chin up to look at him. "I could never mistake what we have or how I feel about you. I love you, and I always have. I always will. I know that what we have is genuine and I wouldn't want anyone else."

She kissed Draco's lips lovingly and then climbed into his lap before wrapping her arms around his neck. He wrapped his arms around her and held her, kissing her neck.

Blaise walked out over to Ginny and sat down beside her. "Do you want to talk? What did he say to you?"

She tried to avoid looking at him as she sniffled, trying not to cry. "Umm… I'm… I'm tired. I-I think I'm just going to go t-to sleep."

Blaise felt his stomach twist in knots. "Do… you want me to come with you?"

She quickly shook her head and stood up. "N-No… I'm…. I'm just going to go to bed alone…"

"Did I do or say something, Ginny? What did I do?"

She finally looked at him now and couldn't hide the tears anymore. "I-I'm sorry, Blaise… I know it's stupid and cliché but it honestly really is me and not you. I-It's not what you're doing. It's what I-I am."

With that, she hurried down the hall and burst into her room but stopped when she saw Draco holding Hermione.

"I-I'm sorry… I just… I was g-going to go t-to bed…"

Draco easily lifted Hermione up. "Don't be sorry, Ginny. You sleep. This is your room. Hermione can sleep with me tonight."

Ginny swallowed back a sob as she nodded, grabbed the suitcase and close and threw them off the bed before climbing in, fully clothed. Draco carried Hermione out of the room and softly closed the bedroom door.

"Are you tired?"

Hermione nodded into his shoulder, still holding onto him securely.

"Me too. It's been a long day for all of us. I'm going to have some tea first and tuck you in first."

"Okay," she said tiredly.

Draco laid her on the bed and took off her jeans but left her t-shirt on so she didn't feel too bare. He covered her with the heavy comforter and kissed her forehead. "I'll go to bed in a little while. Sleep tight."

"Goodnight, Draco…"

As she drifted off to sleep, Draco crept out of his room and into the living room where Blaise sat on the couch, smoking a cigarette in the silence.

He took the cigarette from him and crushed it in the ashtray on the coffee table. "Those things are going to kill you, Blaise."

Blaise didn't object to his cigarette being taken away from him. He usually smoked outside and he could understand why Draco didn't want him smoking in the apartment with the girls being in here.

"Ginny's upset, and I think it's my fault."

Draco walked into the kitchen and turned the burner on under the kettle before getting out two mugs. "It's my fault, Blaise. It's because of what I said to her. She's upset because of me."

He looked at him and tried to remain calm. "What did you say to her?"

Draco ran a hand through his hair in exhaustion and looked at Blaise. "She just was using you for protection. She felt protected when she was near you. She doesn't love you and she's confused. She doesn't know what love is. Cormac screwed her up in that area. He made her think that being abused meant that he loved her, and now that she's alone, she feels safety in your arms. I just didn't want you to hurt anymore, Blaise."

The tea kettle screamed and Draco shut the burner off before pouring water over the teabags in the mugs, causing the water to become a yellowish-green color. He took the mugs and walked over to Blaise before handing him is.

"I don't know what to say. What am I supposed to say? It was… weird between us. I don't know. It felt like she was using me. She never kissed me. I feel like an idiot."

Draco took a sip of his tea. "Don't, it's alright, man. She's just feeling a little messed up right now. I'm hoping that Hermione and Ginny will become friends again so she's not so alone anymore. And I'm here for you."

Blaise took a drink from his own tea and smiled weakly. "Thanks, man. I appreciate it."

"I know you do," Draco smirked. "You know, I think maybe you should stay with Ginny tonight, so she's protected from Cormac in case he decides to apparate inside her room. Don't get under the covers; that might send her the wrong message."

Blaise nodded in understanding. "Okay. How's Hermione doing?"

"I think she's doing better. I have to weigh her tomorrow morning. She's eating, at least. I'm still worried about her but she hates when I'm overbearing. I just want her to be healthy."

Blaise took another sip of tea. "It's difficult, but I think once Hermione and Ginny resolve their problems, Ginny can help her eat some more and gain weight. Don't worry, Draco. Everything will work itself out."

Draco chuckled now. "You sound like me. You've suddenly become optimistic about things."

He shrugged. "Well… sometimes you're right, Draco. I believe you. I really do believe that things will be okay in the end."

Draco patted his friend's shoulder and the two sat in a comfortable silence in the living room, embracing the calm before the storm.

I'm sorry about having to deleting it and adding it again. I'm only just noticing typos in the chapter so I think I got them all now. I'm sorry again!