Merry Christmas everyone!!! And thanks so much for the amazing reviews.

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or New Moon.

EPOV

I could barely stand it, her face looked absolutely terrified and so sad. I couldn't stand standing here not knowing what she was thinking, it was just so frustrating so out of habit I asked.

"What are you thinking?" She looked so shocked and a little pained.

"I don't think you would want to know." That was where she was wrong, I always wanted to know, even though I knew I wouldn't like what I heard.

"But I really do, if you want to tell me."

She just looked at me for a bit, contemplating I guess.

"That I should be mad at you, livid even, but truthfully I just want to stay with you every minute until you leave again." Yes she should be mad at me, but at least she still wanted to be with me. It was more than I could ever ask for.

But.

"I'm not leaving. I swear to you I wont. I already told you that. Unless of course you want me too."

"I don't, but you shouldn't stay just because you feel guilty that I put myself in danger to hear you." What? To hear me?

"To hear me?" She turned pink, oh how I missed that blush.

"I guess I didn't tell Alice the reason I did all that adrenaline seeking stuff. I kind of found out when I was doing something reckless I could remember you more clearly, your voice warned me not to and it helped me believe that you still cared. It was stupid I guess." She was being reckless to hear me? Oh god, if there was one, what did I do to her? This was my entire fault.

"That was stupid doing those things to help you believe I still cared Bella, of course I still cared, I've cared for nothing else my entire existence." And I hadn't not one person had touched me the way she had, that could never change.

BPOV

No. That couldn't be true. Why would he lie? Maybe it was like he had said at the hospital so long ago, that a clean break was the best, it would heal so much faster. But even if it was true that he was here to stay it couldn't go back to the way it was without some sort of promise on my mortality.

"Even if you're here to stay, we can't go back to how it was. Fighting all the time about my mortality and your ethics. I can't stay with you without a promise you'll change me, I just can't." As I spoke he looked like reality was crashing upon him, and I felt the need to take it all back, but I knew I couldn't, I could never believe he truly loved me if he didn't want to spend forever with me.

EPOV (I know I switch too much but there's certain parts that need to be in EPOV and there's others that need to be in Bella's)

I didn't know what to do. I wanted to change her, to be with her forever would be the greatest gift I could ever get, but to damn her to this life. She was so perfect with her warmth and her blush, her clumsiness, all her human traits were wonderful, and to take away her soul would be heartless of me even though mine no longer beat.

But I also knew refusing her would make me lose her. Her resolve on this was final I knew from her look and I knew it would kill me to leave. So where did this leave me? Perhaps I should test her first, before I changed her, to make sure it was what she really wanted, to spend an eternity with me. But I didn't know if she would go for it, I knew of her mother's strong options on the matter, and I'm sure Charlie absolutely loathed me now. But I also couldn't see any other option, so I took her hand.

"I will change you Bella, but you must agree to something first," She looked angry and shocked so I got down on a knee, "Marry me?" Oh no, so warped up in Bella I didn't even hear her father pulling up and it was too late now, he heard the last part.

"What the hell is going on here?" Charlie screamed at me looking livid.