When I added a new story to FanFic, I finally got into the mood to right again. So, to those who had been waiting so patiently for this story, I'm so sorry. Hope that this would make you happy enough not to kill me…
oOo
(Anoop's POV)
I was about to relate to Adam what I saw the other week. To set the mood, I dramatically looked out the window, scratching my chin.
Adam just looked at me in a weird way. "Dude, what are you doing?"
I glared at him for ruining my moment. "Do you want me to tell you the story or not?"
He raised his hands in front of him and replied, "I'm sorry. You can continue… whatever it is you were doing."
Just as he said, I returned to my recent position and carried on. "As I was saying, it all started last week."
:::Flashback:::
"Where is it?" I asked myself as I opened the cupboards overhead, looking for food. I know we're not permitted to leave our room passed our curfew but I can't help it. My stomach won't stop roaring that Matt, my roommate, told me to get out 'til I get my stomach to shut up. And that's why I'm here.
I was about to open the last cupboard when the flashlight I was holding slipped off my hand and broke its light because of the impact. "Darn it." I muttered.
I crouched down to get it. Then suddenly, I felt vibrations beneath my hands. Someone's coming! I looked for the best hiding place as I tried hard not to panic. My eyes fell on the utility closet. I ran immediately into it and closed its doors. But I left an inch open so that I could see who the copycat is. And to breathe.
I wasn't a bit surprised to see Allison enter the kitchen. I watched as she opened the lights and looked around. She headed directly to the refrigerator and grabbed a tub of ice cream. Why didn't I think of that?
She was gobbling huge spoonfuls of ice cream when another person came through the kitchen door. Just when I thought I'm gonna have the kitchen all to myself… It proved to be Megan who entered. Now that is a surprise.
They talked for a while. I heard their words clearly from my position. At first, it was about boring topics like the house rules. But it led to one of the biggest revelations I would've never expected.
Megan said something about a rehab. Allison's sudden change of expression took me by surprise. She couldn't reply straightly, which was a first since I met her. Then moments later, I heard a glass shatter on the floor. When I heard from Megan about Allison's stay in a smoking rehab, I was flabbergasted! Who in their right mind wouldn't be?! Who could have thought that our baby girl once went to get help in a rehabilitation center?
But my shock was immediately replaced by pity for the resident rocker. She was literally on her knees, begging for Megan not to spread the word.
I felt myself pushing my ear against the cabinet door. Megan said something about a condition. And, as I expected, she demanded for Adam. Everyone knows that she's not happy about Adam and Allison's closeness. I just never thought that she'd go as far as blackmailing Allison! Just hearing Megan's words makes me want to burst out of my hiding place and defend the little rocker but I can't do that. I don't want to be the one to make Megan start spilling about Allison's secret.
So I just stayed in my position and waited for both of them to leave. Megan fled the room first. Allison stayed for a while, sobbing her eyes out. She's probably in too much shock to move a muscle. After a few minutes, she finally stood up from her stool and made her way to the door slowly.
With a sigh, I stepped out of the cabinet. I headed straightly back to my room, forgetting the reason why I went to the kitchen in the first place.
:::End of Flashback:::
"And that's why she won't talk to you." I concluded after my storytelling. The seriousness in my voice surprised me. It's highly unlikely for me to be this staid. But this is indeed a no laughing matter. "The question is, what are you gonna do now?"
It's clear that my words pierced through him. My question left him speechless.
When he couldn't reply, I resumed, "I know it's hard for you not to talk to her 'cause if you do, you'll put her secret, career and dream in danger. Why'd you think I didn't strangle Meg when I had the chance? If I were you, I'd just go with Allie's plan and don't bother her. At least 'til Megan's eliminated, which would be very soon. Everyone knows that she's going downward. But in the mean time, just let Allison be." At that, I left him to himself – to think about what I just said.
(Megan's POV)
Why do I feel so empty? It's been weeks since my talk with Allison and as far as I can see, she's still keeping her promise. I have Adam all to myself. I should be happy now. But why do I feel that something is still missing?
The nine remaining contestants, including me, are currently stuck in our dress rehearsals. I just finished mine and actually felt good about it. I've been receiving so much negative reviews that I decided to give my all at this performance. I'm gonna sing 'Turn Your Lights Down Low' by Bob Marley.
For minutes, I've been walking around the studio, looking for Adam. I don't even know why I'm looking for him. I just need to know where he is. And, finally, I saw him by the water dispenser. He's looking pretty tired, probably because of his rehearsal.
"Hey Meg." He said. I didn't even notice the half-hearted tone of his voice.
"Hey Adam. Looks like someone's working up a sweat." I flirted, throwing him my sweetest smile.
He chuckled. "Yeah. I guess my song choice requires me to dance around." He referred to the song 'Play That Funky Music'.
"Well, I'm sure your performance will have everyone cheering for you." I'm sure of this statement. I mean, who wouldn't want to see Adam Lambert hotly dancing on-stage?! I myself felt lightheaded after watching him practice!
"Thanks." He smiled. "Yours is pretty amazing too. This would probably the great comeback everyone's waiting from you."
"Let's hope it is." My bleakness is evident in my remark.
Allison passed by us as we talked and I can see Adam following her with his gaze. His eyes are so full of longing that it actually made me feel a twinge of guilt.
oOo
And just when I thought this feeling couldn't grow, it did. Later that night, at dinner, I caught both Adam and Allison stare at each other, though not at the same time. I could see how much they miss each other. They can't even partake at the hilarious conversations that we're having.
This is too much. I stood up and left without any announcements. I could feel everyone's heavy stares at me but just shrugged them off. I'm too confused to mind what others think of.
I went directly to my room and plopped on my bed. I don't even know why I'm so upset. I've got Adam all to myself, I'm confident at my performance tomorrow, I've got my own fans and admirers and I'm in American Idol. I'm practically living my dream. And yet when I saw the way Adam and Allison stare at each other longingly, it's as if all that I've been working hard for is in vain. All my attempts to block the fact that I can never actually make him love me is going down the drain. I'd rather see him with Allison – happy and content – than with me, where he's disheartened and yearning for someone else.
What should I do now: let Adam go and be miserable or just enjoy the fact that he's with me and make him miserable? There are only two choices but my head felt heavy from trying to figure out what's the right thing to do.
So I just rested my brain and turned to something more reliable: my heart. And it didn't took me long to choose my action. From that moment on, I know that I changed. For the first time, I actually thought about other people's feelings. Love really does make a person change to ways they never knew they'd be.
oOo
"That was completely boring, indulgent, and monotonous. You're in for some serious trouble." Simon Cowell bluntly verdict after my performance the next day. I've been in so much distress about my current situation that I guess it showed through my piece. I tried to give it my all, I swear, but my mind kept on fluttering away.
"I love you Simon, but I didn't really care." You don't know how long I've been wanting to say that. I'm going through so much emotional stress that I'm not going to let any crap he says add to my concerns.
Immediately after Ryan said my numbers, I ran backstage where every contestant is standing. All of them watched me with pity in their faces. They're probably expecting this to be my best performance after they saw my rehearsal. But I don't care what they thought.
So I just ran past them. Their eyes just followed me and didn't move. They obviously don't know if they should comfort me or not. I just left them there and ran towards my dressing room. But before I even made it there, I felt a hand grasp my shoulder. Just by that touch I can already identify who that person is.
"What do you want, Adam?" I asked.
Adam just looked intently at me for a few minutes, maybe trying to figure out what's going through my mind. "Meg, what happened?"
I reached for his hand and made him enter my dressing room for me. "Look Megan, you can tell me anything. You're not yourself anymore. He said. I walked towards the door and locked it.
With my back facing him, I asked, "You don't like me do you?" My voice wobbled because of the cry I won't let escape from my lips.
He couldn't respond for a few minutes, probably taken by surprise by my question. I faced him and saw that he couldn't look directly at me. "Look, Megan, you have been really, um, kind to me and I -"
He was cut short when I snapped, "It's a 'Yes or No' question."
He finally looked at me in the eyes, which made this confrontation twice harder. I could see every emotion he has though his piercing blue eyes. Pain. Confusion. Pity. Hesitation. "I… like you.
"But not as much as I do to you." I added. It sounded more like a statement than a question.
Sighing, he continued, "Megan, I tried to return all your affections. But I – I…" I've never seen him this lost with words.
"You already gave all the love you have to another girl." I said frankly. My eyes were on the ground. Saying those words – having that sentence come out of my mouth – I have an actual proof that the truth really does hurt. This is the first time that I addressed the fact that he will never be mine. And it pains me like hell.
Another infinite pause passed by. I went on when he didn't reply. "I'm not stupid. I have eyes. You're head over heel for Allison. I'm with you but all that is on your mind is her!" The tears finally broke out of my eyes. My voice rose with emotions.
"And that's why you did it?" he murmured.
"Did what?" My tone softened and my eyebrows met in confusion.
"You blackmailed her, that's what." His voice is still low but loud enough for me to hear. "I mean, what were you thinking? You scared her half to death!" I would probably be wondering how he knew that but right now I'm too caught up with my emotions to wonder.
This time I was literally shouting. "I only did it for us! I just thought that with Allison out of the way, you would actually notice me." I was sobbing now. "But now I realize that without her you're broken. You're no longer the outgoing , hilarious guy I once knew and loved. And it hurts to see that I can't make you as happy as you are when you're with her!" Part of me is still in denial and unable to accept the truth in my words.
Adam's eyes also began to well up. I guess he can see how much ordeal I have been going through for the past few days. He pulled me towards him and enveloped me to a hug. I know that he only did that to comfort me but I can't prevent those stupid butterflies from fluttering through my stomach. He whispered to me, "I never meant to hurt you like this. Believe me Megan, I tried. I just wish I never gave you those false hopes. This is all my fault." His cracking yet musical voice tells me that he meant every word he said. "I'm so sorry."
I pulled away from his embrace so I could talk to him face to face. "Don't be. It's not your fault at all. If there's anyone to blame here, it's me. I guess I got a little bit… possessive."
He let out a chuckle. "A little bit?" he said with an eyebrow raised.
I laughed with him and punched lightly on his shoulder. "Okay. Maybe I acted like an obsessed fan girl, maybe. But another fan girl is probably the least thing that you need right now." I paused. "But I do know where you need to be. And that's not in this stuffy dressing room with me, watching me bawl my eyes out. You should be with Allison." I said in a low voice. If this would've happened weeks ago, I would have thought I never have the strength to let him go. But now that I did, I never felt so satisfied and proud of myself.
His face lit up at my statement. "Really?"
I smiled sincerely and said, "Yes, I've never been more sure in my life. Now go, before I change my mind. You don't know how long she's been waiting for you." I caught a tear rolling down his cheeks. "And thank you."
"For what?"
"For helping me change for the better." I muttered. I wiped off the captured tear.
He took my hand and countered, "I should be the one thanking you." At that he turned to the door, running, anxious to be with the one he really needs.
As soon as he left, I sat myself on a chair. Even if I know that what I did is right, there's no denial that it still hurts. I know that I'll continue loving him. I know that his face will never escape my mind. I know that there's a possibility that I'll never see a man like him ever again. I know that someday I might regret this, that he'll be my biggest 'what if'. But right now, at long last, I'm sure that I made him genuinely happy.
oOo
Y'all know what to do…
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