Random Adventures with Lina Inverse
Destiny: Ok, before I introduce the star...
Lina: No point.
Destiny: ...and the guest...
Amon: Again, no point.
Destiny: ...first, I'd like to say that you should have a therapist with you before you read this chapter because you will need help. And you will lose IQ points. Now the STAR! LINA!
Lina: Hey there folks. I'm Lina Inverse, world famous sorceress, expert swordsman and-
Amon: A drama queen?
Lina: HEY! I AM NOT A DRAMA QUEEN!
Destiny: Save it, Lina. And today's guest, AMON!
Amon: Get that thing outta my face before I kick the cameraman's ass.
Destiny: Charming, isn't she? Now, today, we are having a game of...
Destiny&Lina: ASSASSIN!
Destiny: I got the idea from iCarly! And guess who won out of Sam, Freddie, Carly and Spencer?
Lina: WHO?
Destiny: Ok, Sam caught Carly and Freddie by surprise, so it was Sam VS Spencer. Spencer always on guard, until, a package came for him. He checked it over and it was clean. He took out a normal looking lollipop. The package dude took the lollipop and said, "Where I come from, we call this a sucker" and SLAPPED Spencer with the pop.
Amon: 'The pop'?
Destiny: Then, while he was down, Sam came down from above the outside of the door, Spencer stood up, reached for his...shooter thing, don't know what it's called, but Sam spit out a purple ball of paint, right onto Spencer's forehead!
Lina: Yay for Sam!
Amon: Yay for violence, now shut up before I shut you up myself.
Lina: You don't scare me, I'm a sorceress.
Amon: Sure thing, I'm really scared of a light spell faked as a fireball.
Lina: You should be!
Amon: ...That was sarcasm, idiot.
Lina: HEY! I AM NOT AN IDIOT!
Destiny: QUIET! Now, go get your weapons, get ready, and in 30 seconds tops, cos that's how long it'll take people to read the next section, we. Will. FIGHT!
Battle Preparations
Destiny: Got a hunting rifle, polished it, did target practice then laughed like a maniac, killing the therapists when they came to put me in the loony bin. Then switched it for a paintball gun.
Lina: Practiced her magic and sword skills, then got Gourry just in case.
Amon: Polished her knuckles, got a taser, a hockey mask so she looked like a female William Shatner, a chainsaw and a cleaver.
Destiny: OK! Let the game...BEGIN!
Assassinate
Amon stands in the middle of the field, no fortress, with an indifferent look on her face behind her mask. Myself and Lina are on opposite ends of the field behind our fortress'. I shoot...I SCORE!
Amon: *looks at purple paint splat on her arm, eye twitches, then goes ballistic* KILL, MURDER, BUTCHER! *kills Gourry, Takuya and Ikuto*
Destiny: O_O...where'd Takuya and Ikuto come from? (I don't own Digimon or Shugo Chara!) *calls bandb* Yeah, hey there blackandblood. Yeah, I've got your idiot here. Yeah, can't do that. Amon went beserk and killed him as well as the hentai neko mimi from Shugo Chara! and the idiot swordsman from the category of this fic. Yes, we're in the middle of a fic right now. Ok. Say hi to blackandblood, people! *Holds phone out so bandb can hear the people*
People: Hi blackandblood!
Destiny: *Puts phone back at my ear* Yeah, so, I'm gonna send Yasmin to give you back your idiot. Ok? Yeah, 4's good. And it is? $h!t is 3:59. Well, I'll send her straight away. Ok. She'll meet you at the bitchy granny's house from Chapter 3 of Deranged Crack Tales. Ok. And send Koji away, Yasmin doesn't want to get eaten by an emo, starved wolf. Ok. Bye". *Hangs up* Ok, let's continue and make sure that nobody else gets killed. *Glares at Amon, who just give me an indifferent look*
Lina: Ok, how about I continue with...
Destiny: NOOOOOOOO!
Lina: FIRE...BALL!
*Everybody and everything is either burned, singed or burning. Destiny is singed while Amon is burning but doesn't give a $h!t*
Destiny: *puffs out soot* Geez Amon, why are you acting so Emo?
Amon: *shrugs* I don't know, but at least I don't cut myself.
Destiny: But you're on fire and you're not doing anything. You're not even panicking.
Amon: *shrugs again* Maybe cause I don't give a $h!t about anything in this BEEPin' world, or even about what happens to it.
Destiny: Oooookay...Well, I guess this chapter is now finished cause we now have to put out Amon and a couple of trees...
Lina: And a bunny rabbit.
*a burning bunny rabbit hops past while everyone just watches it until it's out of sight*
Destiny: ...Well, see ya's...