Alice and Jasper brought me here to the Arctic Circle while I was still consumed by the fire of the change. Running across the snow, taking turns to carry me while I writhed in agony. I remember nothing but the pain.
When I awoke, it was like the worst of all fevers began to subside, leaving me aching and limp. And in its place, a tidal wave of new sensations. Deafening noise, blinding light, and a thirst that burned in my throat as if I'd crawled across the Arizona desert on my hands and knees for days.
"It's okay," Alice's voice sounded more musical than ever, soothing. "You're safe, Bella. You're okay."
My eyelids were heavy as they fluttered open. I could feel every thread in the blanket beneath me. Alice held my hand, leaning forward from the wooden rocker in which she sat. Jasper sat on the end of the bed, his features calm in a way that I'd never seen them before, but his skin...the scars! What had happened to him? I stared at them both, so much more beautiful than I could have ever imagined given my useless human sight.
Alice looked uncertain, glancing over her shoulder briefly at Jasper. "Bella? Do you feel all right?"
No. I most certainly did not feel all right. Something was very wrong. I looked around the room again. Low ceiling, thick dark curtains pulled across the windows, the only light coming from a fire blazing on the far side of the room. I'd never been here before.
Anxiety started to well up inside me, flickers of memories, like scenes from a half-remembered movie. The ballet studio, James' smirk, the searing pain. Carlisle binding my leg. Edward's grief-stricken voice crying, "I can't". I gasped. Jasper placed a hand on my ankle, and a wave of calm rolled out over me like a blanket.
"Where is he?" My new voice sounded alien. Like a professional recording, like a singer autotuned slightly beyond recognition. "Where is Edward? Did James...?"
Alice pressed a hand to my cheek. Her touch, no longer icy, felt strangely unwelcome. I had pieces of a puzzle and couldn't put them together right. "James is gone, Bella. We destroyed him. You don't need to worry."
Jasper's calming influence was making me feel drugged, suffocated. "Stop doing that!" I snapped. "I don't understand. Where's Edward?" Jasper drew back to the doorway.
"I'm gonna get some boots for her. She'll need to go soon," he said quietly to Alice as he left the room.
In his absence, the anxiety started to blossom into panic. I sat upright and swung my legs over the side of the bed. I was wearing soft flannel pyjamas that I didn't recognize, and they felt clammy, damp. I kept getting distracted by noises. There was an owl in a tree outside somewhere, and possibly a mouse in the attic. Alice rocked back in her chair, rubbing at her forehead with one hand. For a vampire, she looked exhausted.
I looked down at my hands in my lap, my skin pale, impossibly smooth. I stared in fascination at my wrist, running a fingertip over the glittering silver crescent scar. My patience was gone.
"Where. Is. Edward?"
She sighed deeply. "I don't know", she finally managed, her voice twisted into something agonizing. "He ran, Bella. He ran as soon as he realized you were changing. Emmett chased him for a bit, but he lost him somewhere in Mexico. Edward's the fastest. Emmett didn't really stand a chance."
Nothing was making sense. He was supposed to be here.
"I've been looking for him," she gestured vaguely at her temple. "But it's so unclear. I think he's in South America, but I can't be certain. He keeps changing his mind. Emmett and Rose flew to Rio yesterday. We'll find him, Bella. We will."
I pressed a palm against my stomach, nausea overtaking me. Alice was beside me in an instant, pushing my hair away from face and rubbing soothing circles on my back.
"You need to hunt, Bella. Jasper's going to take you."
Jasper had reappeared, placing a pile of folded clothes on the end of the bed and slipping out again discreetly. Alice began to unbutton my top, continuing to murmur soft reassurances. I could do nothing as she dressed me in layers of wool, a heavy plaid shirt. Every thought, every emotion hollowed out into a series of horrifying, gut wrenching realizations.
I was dead. I was reborn. And I was alone.