362 days, each one crossed off with an eyebrow pencil on a curling, yellowed calendar advertising NorthMart - Northwest Territories Trusted Community Store of Choice. 362 days, and Alice and Jasper are the only people I've seen, vampire or otherwise.
Alice comes bounding into my room with a new pair of snow boots tied up with a garish pink ribbon, and an excited grin on her face. "It's time, Bella. I'm clear on it now. We can take you into town."
It's the first time I've experienced something akin to hope since dying.
Even Jasper looks happy. "I wouldn't get too excited, Bella. Inuvik is like Forks, but darker and covered in snow."
"You're sure?" I quiz Alice, grasping her upper arms, "I'm really not going to hurt anyone?"
"Well, you're hurting me," she grumbles, wriggling free of my newborn grip, and smiling ruefully, "but no, we are totally good to go."
We dress carefully. We may not feel the cold, but we need to look the part. Jasper has been preparing me for this day for weeks. We approach the main street slowly and on foot. His calming influence, which I've resented and struggled against in past, I'm now absurdly grateful for. I am nervous as hell.
The scent of humanity is nothing I could have readied for though. So much more than the animal blood I've come to subsist on. My senses are flooded. I feel both terribly weak, and unbelievably powerful at the same time. I hold my breath, my mouth filled with venom, every nerve in my body on fire. Jasper hooks my arm through his, and pats it comfortingly. "You know we can have you out of here in a heartbeat," he murmurs in my ear. "No pun intended."
The joke makes me smile a little. I feel slightly more in control.
We turn a corner, and come immediately face to face with a mother and two little girls bundled up in snowsuits, hats and scarves. One of the girls bends down in front of us to adjust the lace of her boot. The scent is overwhelming. Her snowsuit is purple, she has a green velvet ribbon in her hair, her blood sounds like a rushing river. My throat is ravaged and dry, and this tiny little girl is an oasis.
"You're okay, Bella." Alice whispers next to me, one hand on my hair. "You won't hurt her."
The words are like a punch to the stomach. I can hear her saying the very same thing to Jasper, about me. It seems like an eternity ago.
Edward. Where is Edward? Why isn't he here now?
The family moves on and gets into a rugged 4x4, which pulls out into the snow. The scent dissipates. I take a strangled breath.
Alice is doing a happy little dance and clapping her hands excitedly. Jasper still has his hand on my arm, but he looks relaxed.
"See, Bella! You totally did it. You were awesome."
It's a hollow victory without him.
"I need to hunt," I say quietly, and pull away from Jasper before breaking into a run.