Um, I guess I have to cover the Disclaimer, huh? Well, I don't own Naruto or the Akatsuki, though I really wish I did. Having a sexy Hidan willing to follow my every command sounds very appealing.

As for this case file, it was the original brain-fart of my twin sis, tho I did throw a few ideas twinpathically(c) at her. So, if you have any problems with the language or any other shit, don't come crying to me, go find her. Good luck and may the force be with you.

Deidara walks along, whistling a merry tune from all three mouths but stops when he hears sneezing coming from inside Tobi's room. Curious, and a little sneaky, he inches over, hoping he'll get a peek at the childlike Akatsuki members face. As he knocks once, Deidara slowly opens the door and looks at the bed. There, lying under layers of blankets, is a sniffling lump in the middle of the bed. Deidara almost feels dejected but stills when he sees the orange mask on the nightstand by the bed. Excitement courses through him as he inches closer, knowing that the only thing between him and the mysterious idiot are a few layers of blankets.

"Tobi?" Deidara reaches out for the blankets, giddy. "Are you ok, un?"

Tobi rolls, bringing the blankets around him tightly like a burrito, sneezing and sniffling coming from the mass. "Deidara? Tobi doesn't feel so good. Can we play some other time?"

Deidara's surprised. Tobi's never been sick before. Feeling bad now for the usually hyperactive annoyance, Deidara pats a hand on -what he hopes is- Tobi's back. "It's ok, un, I'll get you some soup. You just rest, un."

A pale slender hand reaches out and gently grabs the edge of Deidara's shirt, the black nailpolish stark against the nearly transparent skin. "Deidara... Tobi's happy you're here."

Deidara's amazed at how pale the hand is that's holding him. It's definitely not a girls hand, but it's actually a very nice hand. He's never seen Tobi's hands without gloves before. Reaching down, Deidara takes the hand.

"Hey, gotta look out for the under dog, right, un?"

"Hehe..." he pulls his hand back in and shivers.

Deidara takes a last look at the bundle then walks out, easing the door shut, then heads to the kitchen to find Sasori, with an apron on, a cookbook in hand, stirring a pot as he stands in front of the stove, reading the recipe.

Deidara scoots past the puppet master, intent on the pantry, when Sasori suddenly asks, "And what are we doing now?" He doesn't even glance up from his reading, his stirring even and unhurried. "Dinners almost ready. You can wait."

"But it's not for me, un."

Sasori's eyes shift from the page and to Deidara. "Then who?"

Deidara jabs his thumb in the direction of the hall. "Tobi. He's sick, I was gonna bring him some soup or something. Do we have soup?"

Setting the stove to a lower setting, Sasori steps away from the meal and goes to the pantry to search. "Here," he produces a can of Alphabet soup. "He'll get a kick out of it" As Sasori hands the can over, he can't help but ask, "Why are you caring for the little pest? I thought you'd be singing and dancing with him out of your hair for a few days?"

Deidara thinks about it a moment, unable to really pinpoint why he is helping the immature idiot. "I don't know, un. I guess it's because it's not really the same without his annoying voice echoing through the halls. I've gotten used to it, un."

Sasori lifts a brow to Deidara before going back to his cooking, having been using a chakra string to continue stirring the meal. "Make that for him then get out of here. And," he turns a sharp look to Deidara, "if you see the little retards face, get a picture!"

Deidara grins at his partner, giving him a thumb-up. "Got it, un!" Deidara prepares the soup and takes it back to Tobi's room, knocking once before opening the door and peeking in. "Tobi, you awake?" He notes that the bed is empty and steps in as he hears the toilet flush. "Hey, I brought you some soup, un."

"Soup?" Tobi opens the door, his head down and his shaggy hair shielding his face no matter how hard Deidara tries to see it. "You good friend to Tobi... I wanna die..." he falls to his knees then forward to face-plant on the bed. "Urgh..."

Deidara feels bad for the guy, even though, with Tobi wearing only a pair of cotton pants, Deidara can see just how much muscle this immature man has. It's shocking! "Well, un, you should roll over and eat this. Sasori-danna picked the soup out special for you. He said you'd like it."

"What is it?" Tobi sniffles, reaching under his bed to produce a mask which he places over his face the moment he rolls over and sits on the floor. "Tobi feels like shit..."

Deidara's shocked at the use of language from this overgrown kid. "You sure do if you're cursing, Tobi. Damn, un."

"Plenty of things about Tobi is gonna shock you while Tobi's- oh, fuck it, I feel like hell!" He groans, dropping his head forward just as he makes an "urk" sound, then, a moment later, he whines. "Eww! Tobi urffed in his mask!" He pulls himself up and heads for the bathroom, his back to Deidara as he removes the mask.

Deidara shifts to see the other mans face but he closes the door before he can. "Damn, so close..."Deidara then gets an idea. He sets down the soup tray and starts searching for all of Tobi's masks, finding around three identical swirling masks in different places. Maybe, if he hides them all before Tobi comes out, he'll be without one he's not gonna want to put on that one after puking in it. "Success!"

"What is?" Tobi grumbles, coming out, scrubbing his face with a washrag.

"Uh... your soup, un! I was making sure your soup didn't get cold!" Deidara hopes Tobi believes him as he quickly tosses his spare masks out into the hall.

"Thanks, Deidara..." Tobi goes to one of the places he'd hidden his mask then stops. "Where's you put it? I am not in the mood to play games, Deidara? You'll find out just how bad Tobi can be if you don't give me my freakin' mask!" He turns to glower at Deidara, only one eye peeking out from the washrag, actually making Deidara cower. This is a side of Tobi he's never seen before. "Tell me or I'll butt-rape you with a broom handle when I get better!"

Deidara's eyes widen and he instantly gets the masks from the hall, tossing them onto the bed. "Sorry, sorry, Tobi."

"Tobi's sorry for getting mad at Deidara, just don't take Tobi's things." Tobi goes over and flips through mask after mask until he finally chooses one and puts it on. "Tobi has to burn the other mask because Tobi urffed in it. The smell will never go away, and Tobi's not about to wear it while it stinks."

Deidara nods, understanding that. "Hey, you'd better eat your soup before it gets cold, un. Sasori-danna said it would help you feel better." Deidara brings the bowl over and sets it down as Tobi sits on the floor and picks it up. "Eat every bite, otherwise you might not get better any faster, un."

"Ok, Tobi'll eat it up." He turns the mask, using it to block Deidara's view of his face while he eats, and gets a laugh at the soup. "Letters! Tobi likes letters. Look, Deidara, Tobi spelt him name!"

Deidara looks and, sure enough, there's the letters T-O-B-I in the spoon. "That's cool, un. I should get myself some of that just for kicks."

"Tobi would share but, you know, you might get sick, too, and Tobi doesn't want to pass this to Deidara."

Deidara takes care of Tobi tirelessly, worrying about the annoyance constantly, but still trying to get peeks of his face whenever possible, starting to get used to his more mature outbursts as they happen only when he gets a high fever. So Deidara makes a good point of keeping his fever down. That other side of Tobi scares the shit out of Deidara! Two days after finding the Akatsuki member in bed, Deidara brings him his soup, at the same time as always, and finds Tobi standing by the window, fully dressed.

"Tobi wants to go outside for a little bit. It might do Tobi some good." And, just like that, Tobi's better. The next day he's running around, skipping and jumping after butterflies while Sasori uses chakra strings to feed Deidara soup since, whatever Tobi had, Deidara now has.

"I hate the little ass, un," Deidara eats another mouthful of soup, glaring over at Sasori. "Can't you at least hold the spoon, Sasori-danna?"

Sasori glances up from the new puppet he's making and gives Deidara a smirk. "Why? I need my attention on this project."

"Why? What is it?"

Sasori gets a sadistic grin and places the blond wig on the doll he's making and turns it to show Deidara. "Look, Hannah Montana! And she wants to sing to you, Deidara!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Stay tuned for more case files! ^-^ If anyone has any "case files" that they would like to share, feel free to message me.