Disclaimer: Ok, ya'll, I hate to say it, but I gotta. I don't own the Akatsuki or anything pertaining to them. Wish I did (I could have a lotta fun with Itachi *wink*)

Alright, like I've said for every other Akatsuki Case File, this is all the work of my twin and I. You'll find the original fic on my twin's site on Quizilla: StunningEyesBlind. I suggest ya go check out the original one there. It has pictures! ^^

Oh, and to Skimx, who placed a ACF request; it is in the making!^^ My twin is right now working on it, but she's really busy right now with stuff, so you'll have to bare with us.

Itachi watches Tobi where he sits and plays cards on the floor inside Akatsuki HQ, and all the young Uchiha can think of is, I wonder why Madara cut his hair? When I met him it was long, but now... He tilts his head, looking at Tobi's hair. It's short. I wonder... could it be because... of that day? And before he can stop himself, Itachi asks, "Hey, Tobi?"
Tobi lifts his head to look at Itachi, and with a happy voice, says, "Yes, Itachi?"

Itachi considers him for a moment longer, and then asks, "Why did you cut your hair? I remember it being longer, and then suddenly... it wasn't."

"My hair?" Tobi reaches up to touch the short strands almost quizzically. "I dunno why Tobi did it."
Itachi looks at him thoughtfully for a minute, then asks another question. "Is it because you caught it on fire that one time?"

Tobi's head snaps around, and Itachi can just feel the menace in the glare Tobi sends through the single hole in his mask. "I said never to speak of that again!" His voice is dark, deadly, and even though Itachi can feel the danger, he's bored, and decides to push things just a little more.

"You burned off a good portion, didn't you?" He gives Tobi a taunting smirk, knowing he's needling the other, much older, Uchiha, but he can't seem to help himself. He's bored, and teasing the other -disguised- Uchiha has always been fun.

"Shut your mouth!" Tobi/Madara shouts, leaping at Itachi, and before he knows what hit him, Madara has him thrown over the back of the couch, and is sitting on Itachi's stomach, punching him two or three good times before getting pulled off by Kisame and Pein.

"What's gotten into you, Tobi?" Kisame asks, shocked. He's never seen the acclaimed "retard" of Akatsuki ever lose it before, and he'd jumped Itachi so suddenly, no one had realized what had happened until they heard Tobi beating Itachi behind the couch.

Madara doesn't answer him, just jerks one arm free of their hold so he can stab a finger at Itachi as the younger Uchiha picks himself up from behind the couch, wiping away blood from his split lip. "You keep your mouth shut, Itachi. Do you hear me? I told you to never bring that up again!"

"Bring what up?" Pein asks, looking curiously from one Akatsuki member to the other.

"Don't you say it, Itachi!" Madara warns, seeing the gleam in the bleeding Uchiha's eyes.

"Say what?" Itachi asks, feining innocence. "That you caught your hair on fire and that must be why you cut it?"

"AAAAAHH!" With a great war cry, Tobi/Madara rips himself free of Kisame and Pein to leap at Itachi again. They crash to the floor in a tumble of arms and legs, fists swinging and legs kicking and hair pulling.

"Stop!" Pein shouts, and both Uchihas freeze. "Get up and explain what the hell you two are doing trying to kill each other?"

They get to their feet, neither letting go of the fistful they have of each others hair, even as they face Pein.

Itachi clears his throat before licking the blood from his lips. "Well, you see-"

"Don't even, Itachi!" Madara orders, trying to glare over at Itachi through his mask without turning his head. "It's nothing, Pein." he tells the Akatsuki leader. "Just something between Itachi and myself. It doesn't concern you."

Pein's brows fly up, and his gaze turns to consider Itachi. "Is that how it is, Itachi?"

Itachi uses his sleeve to wipe more blood from his nose, and giving it a glance to see how much is there, says casually, "Yeah, that's how it is."

"Ok, then." Pein scrutinizes them for a long moment, then demands, "For the love of- Let each others hair go! I can see Tobi's scalp bleeding!"

"Huh?" Tobi reaches up to feel his head, and pulling his gloved hand away, rubs his fingers together as he looks at the wet on his fingertips. "I'm... bleeding?"

"Yup," Itachi sniffs, slowly letting his fingers slip from Tobi's hair as Madara releases Itachi. "Guess you can bleed." He accepts the wet washcloth Kisame offers him, and wiping his face, says, "Just curious, Tobi, but... What does burnt hair smell like?"

Madara growls at Itachi, making Pein step back swiftly in apprehension. "Itachi." The name is spoken in a low voice holding much warning and promise of retaliation should Itachi continue, and, being Itachi, he does. An Uchiha never backs down from a challenge. It is not the Uchiha way... especially when they're bored.

"I was just asking," he says innocently, touching the rag tenderly to his bruising cheekbone. "Ouch. You really hit me."

"You should learn to keep your mouth shut when told." Madara starts to turn away, to leave the room, but Itachi's next words have him stopping midstride.

"How much of your hair did you really burn off?"

Pein sees Madara's fist shake, and he knows there's going to be more bloodshed, so he hurries to intervene. Stepping between the two Uchihas, he says with authority, "My office. Now!"

Itachi rubs his neck, but does as ordered. "Yes, sir." he says, walking into Pein's office, Tobi/Madara following right after him, Pein closing the door behind them.

Once the door is sealed and locked, Pein states, "I don't know what the hell is going on between you two today, but I want it to stop. You're breaking things, and, I hate to say it, but that's setting a bad example for Deidara. He's got enough destructive tendencies. I don't need him thinking he can get away with them here."

"Oh, yes," Itachi says, agreeing too readily, with a devilish smirk on his handsome face. "We don't want Deidara burning anything."

"Itachi!" Tobi growls, balling his fingers into a fist but restraining himself otherwise.

"It would be a shame if Deidara caught anything on fire... or anyone."

"You're pushing it, boy!" Madara hisses under his breath, and Itachi knows he's walking a fine line, but he's having too much fun to stop just yet.

Just... one... more... jab...

Itachi clears his throat, and slowly standing from the couch so he's ready for anything, he asks in a steady drawl, "Is "retard" short for "fire retardant"?"

Madara is on Itachi in an instant, and Pein can only sit back and stare in amazed shock as the two Uchihas fight it out on his office floor. "They really are related," he says musingly, leaning back against the wall and crossing his arms across his chest and his legs at the ankles, relaxing as he watches the brawl taking place. "That's gonna hurt later," he says to himself, wishing in the back of his mind that he had some popcorn.

Pein flinches, grimacing as Tobi flips onto Itachi's back and, taking a fistful of hair, begins bashing the young mans face into the wood floor, all the while screaming, "How's this for retarded?"

Just as Madara lifts Itachi's head up for another blow, Itachi throws his head back to hit Madara's chin with his skull, staggering the Uchiha off Itachi's back, letting him roll over and flip up onto his feet, and smooth as a dancer, Itachi kicks a leg out to knock Tobi's feet out from under him, but he doesn't quite fall, just loses his balance, so taking the advantage, Itachi throws himself at Madara, tackling him to the ground.

Outside the room, the sounds of the fight are heard throughout Akatsuki HQ. Members gather to listen, and bets are placed on who is going to walk out of that office alive, and who will be dead. Many bet on Itachi, but by the sounds of screams and growls, equal bets are placed on Tobi, and Konan places a bet on Pein intervening, which they all ignore since, although the Akatsuki leader doesn't promote violence inside HQ, he's not about to step in-between two skilled shinobi in the heat of a furious battle.

Just as they start to wonder how they could still be alive, the sounds stop, and everyone shares glances and whispers, all wondering who killed the other, whether Itachi finally offed the retarded Tobi, or if luck was on the "under-dogs" side, and Tobi had won. A few minutes later, the door opens, and there is a collective gasp from everyone as Itachi steps out, his face a mess of bruises and blood, his clothes torn and in shambles, his hair untied and messy.

Looking back into the room, Itachi wipes at his nose, giving a sniff before saying, "I'm heading back to my room. You might want to get someone in here to clean up the blood soon."

Konan gives a cry, and Itachi looks at her curiously, and she asks, aghast, "You- you killed him?"

"I wouldn't even kill a retard, un," Deidara mutters not-too-quietly, grimacing.

Itachi wipes at his bleeding nose again, a boyish grin forming on his split and equally bloody lips. "Nah. He's still very much alive, but is wallowing in a pool of his-"

"OUR!" Tobi shouts and Itachi grins more.

"-our blood," he corrects himself. "I'd leave him alone for now. He's not happy." He gives Pein a nod as the other man leaves his office, and without another word, Itachi limps away, one of his arms hanging uselessly at his side, his other hand holding the dislocated joint.

A minute after they hear Itachi's bedroom door close shut, they hear floorboards creek, and look to see Tobi standing in Pein's office doorway, his mask cracked and broken in places, revealing the most anyone has every seen of his face, being the right side of his forehead and right eye, and they can see blood pouring down his face from just inside his hairline. His clothes are as equally torn and in shambles as Itachi's are, one of his gloves is even missing, but his hair is... as messy as always.

Tobi puts a hand to his head, covering the uncovered part of his face, and swaying, places his other hand on the doorframe to balance himself. "Tobi doesn't feel so good," he says in his usual Tobi way, and everyone gives a huge sigh of relief to find that he's back to his old self again. "I'm getting a shower." They see him glance off down the hall, towards Itachi's room, and he says with an almost resigned sigh, "I guess I should apologize to Itachi... later."

"And I'll make sure he apologizes to you, too, Tobi." Pein says, nodding. "Go get washed up. If you need help with any wounds, Konan will treat you."

Konan gives him a glare for volunteering her, but doesn't say anything as Tobi shakes his head, already saying, "No, no, Tobi doesn't need help." He walks off towards the bathroom, closing the door behind him, and everyone hears a few minutes later the water start.

All eyes turn on Pein, and everyone is asking him questions, all amounting to the same thing. "What started this and why the hell did they fight over it?"

Pein shrugs, pretending to know but not say even though he hadn't quite caught the cause of the brawl, only that it had something to do with fire, but he doesn't tell them that, just says, "If I tell you Tobi might come out here and kick all of your asses for it, so I'm gonna stick to the side of safety, and keep it to myself."

They hear a door open, and looking down the far hall, see Itachi walking towards them, his face cleaned of all blood, his clothes changed into a simple T-shirt and cotton drawstring pants, his feet bare. "How is Tobi?" he asks, looking at Pein. There's a butterfly bandage on his cheek under his left eye, and another on his right brow, both holding two rather deep cuts closed, and he has a bandage patch on the right side of his jaw, and a small Band-Aid just above it. His neck is covered in a dark purple, hand-shaped bruise, and thin, finger-sized bruises, showing where Tobi tried to strangle him. He apparently reset his dislocated arm himself, because it's moving just fine now as he rubs his sore neck.

"He's in the shower," Kisame tells him, bringing Itachi's eyes to him. "He looked bad. What the hell happened between you and him?"

Itachi gives a little grin but doesn't answer, just says, "I need to apologize to him. It was my fault this all happened, anyway." He cuts his chuckle short, but can't stop the smirk that crosses his bruised and beaten features. "He's in this shower?"

Not understanding Itachi's amusement, Pein hesitates to tell the cunning Uchiha, but hearing the water, he knows he can't lie, so he nods. "Yeah, he's in this one. Itachi," he tries to warn him, "You shouldn't goad Tobi anymore. Neither you nor he are in any condition to have another throw down like you did in my office." Pein glances into his office, and with an open wince, closes the door to lean against it, keeping everyone else from seeing the blood covering his poor desk, floor, and walls. And a bit on the ceiling.

"Oh, I wont goad him into another scuffle." He says it too innocently. Pein instantly knows that that's just what Itachi's going to do, but the Akatsuki leader just watches as the Uchiha goes, not to the bathroom door, but back to his room, returning moments later holding his bed sheets. Everyone shares confused and curious glances as they watch Itachi twist the one end of the sheet into a knot which he ties around the bathroom door handle, then twists it tight as he trails it across the hall to the door there, which just so happens to be Hidan's current room (he sacrificed himself in his old room and ended up destroying the carpeting and linoleum).

"What are you...?" Pein starts to ask, but trails off when Itachi steps up to the door, his finger flicking the taut, twisted sheet before knocking.

"Tobi's in here," comes the reply from inside, and everyone moves closer to see what it is that Itachi has planned, since they can all see his sneaky smirk, and they're all curious about how the twisted bed sheets play into this.

"It's me, Tobi." Itachi calls, and everyone hears the silence on the other side of the door. "I just wanted to apologize..."

"I should apologize, too, Itachi." Tobi says back.

Itachi's smirk grows for just a second before he finishes his sentence with, "...for telling everyone about how you caught your hair on fire and that was why you had to cut it short."

There's a wild cry of outrage from inside the bathroom, and everyone leaps back as Tobi throws himself at the bathroom door, but the twisted bed sheet keeps it held shut, and thanks to a jutsu Sasori had used on the bathroom door, mainly to prevent someone from doing just this -smashing it-, the door does not budge, but shakes violently as Tobi jerks the doorknob, twisting it furiously, but realizing the door is somehow jammed, he starts throwing himself against it, growling and shouting in a most terrifying manner, making everyone swallow in fear of what might happen when he gets out.

Hidan, finally hearing something outside of his room, tries to leave, but finds the door tied shut, so he shouts, "What the hell? Why won't my fucking door open? Someone had better start fucking explaining themselves!"

Itachi steps back to lean against Hidan's door, saying in an even, and very pleased, voice, "Oh, I just secured a sheet to your door so I could keep Tobi locked in the bathroom."

"Why the fuck would you do that? Let the retard out already!"

"When I get out of here," Madara screams, giving the door a violent shake, "I am going to murder whoever is fucking responsible for locking me in here!"

"Hear that?" Itachi asks Hidan, who had fallen silent when Tobi had shouted. "That is the sound of a very disgruntled Tobi. He sounds deadly."

"Not to me," Hidan laughs from the other side of his door. "I'm immortal!"

"I'M GOING TO *censored* SOMEONE!"

There is a long silence before Hidan finally says, "Don't let him out!"