I am exactly where I want to be. Gone are those days where I always wondered if I wasn't missing something better, more exciting, more …fun by staying where I was.

The days that I would be at some club, dancing with some cute guy, wondering if I should take him home now or should I wait for someone hotter to walk in? Days that I would wake up in the middle of the night in a strange bed, knowing I didn't really want to be there. Or I would be having a cosy night in, with my boyfriend at that time, when suddenly I just knew he wasn't the one.

I am exactly where I want to be. I am with Syed.

He is lying in my arms. I can feel his luscious body resting on top of me. His naked skin, still flushed from our lovemaking, touching mine. I can feel him smile against my chest. He is happy. Happier these days then I've ever seen him. Most of the time.

'Don't you dare fall asleep again!'

'O, I don't know… I'm pretty comfortable here really. What's wrong with a little nap?'

'Nooooooo! I've made big plans for today! You can't sleep your birthday away, come on, up, up, up!'

He gives me the cutest stern look, accompanied by some hand movements which are meant to indicate he wants me out of the bed.

'Alright, alright, I'm up! Yeez….', I complain. But I get up and as I head towards the shower I whinge at him: 'It's just that I'm an old man now, you now. Us older men need our beauty sleep. Especially if we are trying to keep our hot young boyfriends satisfied!'

'O yeah, 40 years old today, you're positively ancient!' He rolls his eyes at me.

'Oy, I am not 40 years old thank you very much!' I know he is just teasing me, but still… I slam the bathroom door behind me. I can hear his laughter through the closed door. Cheeky git.

While I take a shower, I think back to my last birthday. My heart chills at the thought. Syed and I were worlds apart that day. Roxy, Jane and Lucy doing their best to make sure I had a good time. God, my face hurt at the end of that day of fake smiling…

All I could think about was Syed. What was he doing? Was he at home? Did he remember it was my birthday? I was miserable all day. And the worst part of it was, I wasn't even allowed to show it.

I hear a muffled yelp coming through the closed door.

'Sy, what's happened? Are you ok?'

I turn off the tap, sling a towel round my waist and rush out of the shower. He is standing in the kitchen, running cold water on his hand.

'It's nothing, I'm an idiot that's all. I burnt myself while placing the bread into the toaster'. He turns around looking rather sheepishly and shows me the red mark on his hand.

'Poor baby! Come here, I'll kiss it better for you'. I pull him into me and pres a soft kiss on the red mark on his hand. For good measure, I decide he could be hurt in other places too, so I start to place little kisses all the way up his arm, as far as his sleeve will let me.

'Christian, stop it', he laughs. 'You're dripping wet!'

I look at the puddle of water that has formed at my feet. Oops…Calmly I pull at the towel that is still around my waist. I use it to dry myself, and then the floor. Syed is watching me appreciatively. When I'm done, I sling the towel over my shoulder, a question in my eyes.

'No no no, no time for er… that. Go on, get dressed, breakfast is on the table'.

He is using his bossy voice with me now. Then he tries the stern look again. He just looks so adorable that I decide that I can wait. So I march myself over to the wardrobe and get dressed. Jeans and a black shirt, no shoes.

I sit down at the breakfast table. I'm loving this birthday already. Waking up from a beautiful dream, only to find out that reality is even better.

'Here you go, I thought you could do with the "full fullness of an English breakfast" this morning!'

He winks at me as he stacks my plate full of bacon and eggs. He did the works, all traditional ingredients are at my fingertips. I am touched that he would do this for me.

Then I notice the square, flat package lying next to my plate. It has a bright yellow bow on it which is tied rather crookedly. He must have wrapped it himself. I love that about him.

I look up to see him standing next to me, excitedly hopping from one leg onto the other. His eyes are shimmering with repressed excitement. He is biting his lip impatiently.

'Go on, open it', he urges me. He is irresistible when he's this excited. I hook my finger in one of the belt loops of his jeans, and give it a little tug so he tumbles onto my lap.

'Wha… hey!' he protests. But I hug him tight and shut him up with a big kiss. He gives in without a fight and settles himself into my lap, his right arm slung over my shoulders. He presses his nose against mine and whispers:

'Go on, open it'

I make a grab for the package and start unwrapping it. It's an envelop. What could be so exciting about an envelop? I open it to find two airplane tickets to Barcelona.

'Remember when you went to Barcelona and asked me to come with you?'

Do I remember? Do I remember that feeling of unbelievable joy when I saw him walk towards me, thinking he was coming with me? Do I remember the feeling of my already battered heart breaking when I realised he hadn't actually come to see me? Do I remember the ice-cold dagger of jealousy stabbing at whatever pieces of my heart were still left when I saw him standing there with her? I think I do. I wish I didn't. God how I wish I didn't. But I do.

Hesitantly I look into my lovers eyes. His dark, gorgeous eyes are beaming back at me. When he sees all the turmoil going on in mine, he hesitates.

'Wait, no… I didn't mean to make you think about… me… not going… not… I'm so sorry'. His eyes are full of guilt and misery now. He lays his hands on both sides of my face and kisses me tenderly. Instantly I feel all bad thoughts leave my brain. I pull his shirt out of his jeans, and let my hands caress his back. A mutual contented sigh fills the room.

'I wanted us to go to Barcelona together, because that's what should have happened the last time. I knew I was making the biggest mistake of my life, letting you go without me. Afterwards, I just didn't know what to do with myself. Trying to find out how you were from Jane, without letting anything on. I did ask Lucy, but well, you know Lucy… I kept wondering if I'd ever see you again. If you'd ever hold me like this, touch me, kiss me, fuck me…'

'Then why did you let me go?' I can hear the hurt in my voice still hasn't completely vanished.

'I was paralyzed. Scared, so scared. And I wasn't ready to leave my family behind. But this is my way of changing history. This is us, you and me, off on a trip to Barcelona, like it should have been. So what do you say, are you up for it?'

'I think you'll find I'm always up for it babe'

'Shut up you! Now we leave in about 4 hours, so that gives you just enough time to repack the bag I packed for you earlier. Not that you're obsessive about it much', he smirks at me. Then he tries to get up, but I won't let him.

'You think I'm wasting precious time repacking my bag? I don't think so! Barcelona has shops hasn't it? Now let's use those 4 hours a little more productively…'

Catching him of guard I throw him over my shoulder in a fireman's grip. Ignoring his indignant protests I carry him over to the bed, then I lay him down gently on his back. I lie down next to him, turn on my side, arm propped up under my head. With my thumb, I trace his sensitive lips. Then I lean over and kiss him.

I am exactly where I want to be. And I'm doing exactly what I want to do. My mouth on his. My tongue invading him. My hand wandering down his body, unbuttoning his jeans.

I'm exactly where I want to be. I'm with Syed.~

~c~s~

This story has a sequal called 'A Holliday in Spain'. Did you enjoy this story? Then please leave me a review!