Author's Notes: Ficlets? Drabbles? Written for It's Never Over verse and in Kuro's POV. May or may not be in sequence of time frame. It's pretty much all over the place.

Half - way done...

It's Just a Different Kind of Love

"Mummy…"

"Yes, honey?" your mother asks as she looks into your large questioning eyes.

"He doesn't like me." you told her as you leaned forward on the couch and tried to push the tiny, gurgling and sniveling bundle, back into your mother's arms.

"He just hasn't got used to you yet." Mom says as she took Fay back into her arms.

You don't say anything and just clamor forward, until you're leaning against mom's shoulder, looking down at your baby brother's face. You thought he looked really ugly with his face all scrunched up like a dried prune, and those small little lines on his face that makes him look like a tiny old man. You giggled at that thought. Mom looks at you with a little frown on her forehead.

"Fay looks old." You blurted out like the honest truth it is and rubbed your chubby index around your eye, "he's got more wrinkles than you."

Mom laughs.

~ :: ~

You've always wanted a puppy, so you demanded it over breakfast one morning but your parents says no because you aren't old enough to be responsible for a pet yet, and you stomp back to your room and switched on your Game Boy, choosing the goriest game you owned. You know you shouldn't behave like that because it's unseemly for an eight year old to. But you're angry and right now, you just want to hate the world for the amount of unfairness that's been thrown to you. You hear your door open and someone steps in and you pretend to not hear it.

"Kuro-nii" Fay's soft, tinkling and mild timbre voice reached your ears.

"Go away Fay." you replied petulantly.

It got quiet for a while and you don't hear anything, so you think baby brother's gone.

Five minutes later, you hear your brother stumbling across the bed to you, and a piece of drawing paper is shoved between your eyes and the screen. You blink your eyes and you can hardly make out what the heck had been drawn on the piece of paper, when your brother clarified your doubts.

"Puppy…for you."

~ :: ~

"I hate girls."

That was Fay's first reaction when daddy left you guys alone in the sandpit of the playground, and walks back to his bench to read his papers.

You don't say anything and nod your head in agreement because you were only ten years old. And at that age, girls are still yucky to be around with.

And you also didn't realize that Fay actually means what he said, even if the expression was much too strong for a six year old.

~ :: ~

"Who is she?" Fay asks from behind as you waved the girl off from the porch. It makes you jump and squirm with discomfort because you're sure he's spying on you and your date again, and you wish he'd get a life and leave you alone to your hormone inspired peccadilloes.

"Eh…my girlfriend?" you answered, "she's a looker ain't she?" you continued with a smug smirk on your face.

"She's a slut."

"Oh yeah? Says who?" you asked highly affronted with your ego acting up, and wondered at the same time, who taught your brother words like that.

~ :: ~

Sometimes you look at Fay and the way he is, and you don't understand, how come God didn't just give you a sister instead. He has these little peculiarities that drive you simply nuts. Such as how he always earmarks the book once he reaches the middle of it, and he says it's just so that he remembers he had read this before. The funny thing is…it's the only book he ever carries around with him. He always has his dessert right before any of the main courses arrives, only to skip the main entrée entirely because there's always too much chocolate. And then, he gets indignant when you comment on how much he resembles an emaciated scarecrow, except for the fact that he's still a really pretty picture sitting right in front of you. He always insists on cutting his nails when he is in the toilet taking care of some other business at the same time, and then, leaves whatever remains of his nails on the floor without bothering to wash them away. And you never fail to cuss, like a hell cat thrown into a frozen river, everytime you step on them.

~ :: ~

"Eww!" Fay shrieks as the first splotch of cous cous and gravy hits him on the face. You give a triumph grin and raised one of your eyebrows at the same time. You don't bother to dispense with any apology because baby brother was so asking for it.

You were also totally unprepared when a glass of ice cold milk was splashed on you in bed while you were fast asleep, and you jolt awake screaming like a girl and scrambling off the bed thinking that your worst nightmare had morphed into reality.

Later, you had to bribe Fay with fifty bucks for the tape. You tear up the roll of film in front of him, and feels like you've emerged victorious when you see him, giving you that same smile you had given him earlier. That's when you realized Fay hadn't actually done any kind of recording at all.

You're actually surprised that baby brother managed to upend you for once.

~ :: ~

Baby brother might be the most irritating and infuriating person in this world, but, he is your brother and no one lays a hand on him apart from you. Absolutely no one, but you. So when you see Fay being shoved down and eating dirt, you don't hesitate and you don't pull your punches. When the fight is over and the boy is running away like the coward he is, Fay comes over and clings on to the hem of your tee-shirt. You lick your upper lip and flinched at the stinging sensation from a cut right above your teeth. You smile a shit face grin and ruffed up Fay's hair, and tell him that everything is going to be fine.

Except that it isn't.

Dad was waiting for you in the hall when both of you arrived home. The spineless kid ratted.

Dad's busting a vein in his temple, going all red in the face from anger as he shouts at you for fighting with the neighbor's son. He refuses to accept your explanation and grounds you for the whole month. You don't do anything apart from hiss at the unfairness of everything. But Fay steps up at that moment, and tell daddy in his mellow and meek voice, that daddy is stupid, then turns to you and tells you that everything is going to be fine.

~ :: ~

You watched from the door and can't help but be awed by the way your brother dances, though you won't ever admit it to his face since you've told him that dancing are for girls and sissies. It's not that you don't like it but the guys at the kendo club always makes some sort of nasty jokes about guys doing ballet, and Fay has argued with you before as he tries to rectify your opinion and, that it's not ballet that he is learning, but contemporary.

But Fay is really good at this, even at his young age, and it gives you a sort of thrill and flushes of pride as you watch him flex his body here and there, twirling round with hands and feet expressing emotions you never thought limbs could. So, it's hardly unexpected when you turned up at his dance school one day after your classes, asking the admin staff if they have got trail lessons for newbies.

You were only sixteen then and when you look back years later when you're standing infront of a class of your own, you think that was one of the best decisions you've made in your life.

~ :: ~

Mom and dad are definitely not pleased about this. You tried to school your face into a somber expression but fails spectacularly as you looked at Fay's brow less eyes. You could also see that they are dark with anger and promised revenge.

And honest to God…you swear you didn't know those DIY fireworks were really going to work.

~ :: ~

Your brother is utterly diabolical, you think, more than you could give him credit for. You are running about the perimeters of the field as he kept calling mutilated versions of your name. You pretend that you don't hear him and tries to complete your laps before coach starts yelling at you again. Less than six feet away, there's the hot babe you've been trying to hook up with for the longest time. She has that teasing smile on her face as she observed your reaction to Fay. You know chicks think it's cute and they dig it, but, you will be a cupcake if you use that fact to your advantage.

You break out of your routine when Fay starts again. You strode with coiling threatening steps towards the fence. Fay backs away for good measure even though he knows you can't reach past those puny openings in the fence for him.

"Kyle." You grind out.

Fay looks at you like you're stupid. There's also the tiniest detectable curl at the side of his lips.

"Who's that?" he asks voice taunting and with a mock frown.

You let out a huge frustrated huff of air from your lungs and darken your scowl considerably. You've told him a million times before to call you Kyle when you're out of the house. Because you have a mom who's determined to hold on to her Japanese roots, and named you Black-Steel. It's not exactly your name, just a literal translation of it. You know most kids here won't understand but you deemed your name uncool anyway. And here's the thing…you never felt that your name was uncool, until Fay starts breaking it up and adding incomprehensible syllables to replace the other half of it.

Fay keeps looking at you, and then his eyes shift to focus on something behind you. You ignore it because you're too irritated to care what he's looking at.

"Hey, Kuro-pon…remember to pick me up later from tuition, else mom will give you a tongue lashing again."

"Walk home ass-hole." You called out after him as he walks away with a huge smile on his face.

"Your brother is really cute." Hot babe says from right behind you.

You suck in a deep breathe and turn to face her with your most dashing smile, but deep down, you're seething inside and before you knew it, the words are out of your mouth.

"Yeah…and he's too young for you."

~ :: ~

You would expect a kid (because you've been one before and you were rather pathetic, so you'd rather forget about that phrase of your life, even if you're only twelve and still considered a kid) to be horrified of thunderstorms and lightning strikes, monsters in the cupboard, psychotic tooth-fairies, the dark or creepy shadows by your bedside. Fay's phobia, however, have left you completely befuddled, though it's kinda sweet at the same time. So you throw aside your comforter and without words, invited baby brother to climb in beside you. He grips your hand tight as he falls asleep.

You curl around him and smell talcum powder and grape scented shampoo. And you give in to your sappy inner self and admit that, yes, you miss your brother even though you're just one room away. And somehow, you understand why baby brother is scared.

The following morning you talk to mom and declared that you're moving back to the bedroom you used to share with Fay.

~ :: ~

You guys may be brothers, but nature dictates that though you may share similar DNA, it doesn't mean you will look alike. And it's visibly obvious that you might have drawn the shorter end of the stick when it comes to the looks department.

You struggle with growth spurts and the occasional acne. They don't really affect your ragged good looks but you still freak out everytime you see one pops out. Fay breezes through his puberty looking like a doll everyday, you take consolation in the fact that he doesn't grow much though. You have irises bleeding red from the pupils and Fay has dad's eyes. They look like they had the whole effing ocean set in it, all sparkly and bright, and those tweeny girls totally digs it. Fay brushes off the attention most times, but all the same, you get jealous of the attention he gets.

So everytime you see a new girl walks him up the doorsteps, you wished that soon he will be sporting acne, or, have a voice that cracks high and low without warning. But the constellations are lined up in baby brother's favor, and you grew up resenting the fact that baby brother seems to have been blessed with the magic wands of Barbie and Ken.

It didn't occur to you until the day Fay came out, that you understood why those girls like him so much.

Because then, his pretty face wasn't even the point anymore.

~ :: ~

You find Fay sobbing in the bathtub when you get home one evening. The spray is gushing out cold water and he's sitting inside with all his clothes on.

You reached for the towel and walked towards Fay feeling at the same time, all hesitant, anxious, a little lost and pissed. You don't like to see baby brother cry. It makes you feel like you've failed at your duties of being the big brother, makes you feel guilty for not being there. You lay the towel over him, squatted down, and place a hand on his shoulder. You gave it a gentle squeeze, just a small gesture of comfort and you feel baby brother tense up from that contact. You waited for a while before you asked if he wants to talk about it. He looks at you from the corner of his eyes, and he doesn't answer. You nodded your head in understanding and back off. He glances at you again and that's when you caught it, that something that flashes for a split second in his eyes.

Guilt.

He doesn't talk to you for a few days after, but when he does, it's like everything is normal again and that episode had never happened before. But you can't help feeling that there's a distance between you guys now. There's something you don't know about your brother, and you feel lost regarding that fact. You don't like that feeling, so you pushed it aside and think that is how it is when baby brothers grow up.

~ :: ~

You've just officially turned eighteen. You're out of the puberty drag, well…maybe not really, but what the heck? You have girls who just can't seem to stop staring at you, can't wait to paw all over you and you think you're actually the stud of the century. You've got the best present from your parents, though you should have gotten it when you turned sixteen. You were too young then, they explained. Doesn't matter. You have it now. The dream bike of a life-time. A Kawasaki Ninja ZX-14. It's the best time of your life. But you push that all aside for now, because there is something even better, even more special.

You and baby brother had just won the inter-high school dance competition. You don't know why, but seeing him so ecstatic and proud gave you the most exhilarating sense of accomplishment and you forget all of the blood and sweat you've sacrificed to make it through for the competition, and you're grateful that baby brother never gave up on you even when you want to give up on yourself.

You smile the most joyful smile and walked up to your brother who's surrounded by all his fan girls, and you pull him into a one arm embrace. He doesn't startled or anything and fits into the clumsy hug happily, snuggling closer like it's the most natural thing in the world. You don't see anything strange about it, but you can sense the awkwardness creeping into the air. You get irritated. The girls are still smiling but their eyes are more focused on the arm slung around your brother, and that tight grip you have on his elbow. You don't like whatever ideas that's forming in their head right now and you don't bother to stay and figure out.

You dragged Fay out of the party after a dismissive, 'please excuse us,' and hops onto your new bike that's parked outside the house. You let baby brother climb up behind and wait for him to get comfy before passing him a brand new helmet. You tell him that this helmet is specially bought for him and meant for him only, and watch his face light up like an overly decorated Christmas tree. That's when he gives you your birthday present. It's not packed in fancy paper or boxed up, but like every other birthday gift he has got for you, you're sure that it's exquisite. This year, he got you a handmade leather bracelet, and you've been wearing it ever since.

~ :: ~

You feel Fay slither up to you in the middle of the night; it's a normal routine now, so you don't even blink an eye about it.

"Another nightmare?" you asked quietly.

"Yeah." Fay answered voice still bleary with sleep.

"Bout what?"

"Don't really remember." He says and pushes back nearer; you turn flat on your back and just let him cozy up. You know that he's lying about it but you don't call him out on it.

He's almost fifteen now, yet, he still comes to bed with you like when he's still five years old, and you're starting to notice he is adopting a strange dependency on you. You don't think he is idolizing you because if he did, he would be attempting lamely to replicate your likeness, but he doesn't. You catch him studying you sometimes when he thinks you're not looking. You wonder if brothers are normally that close, but as always, there's something that pushes you not to dwell on it.

~ :: ~

Baby brother has been chattering almost non-stop since you guys started this trip three hours ago. You can understand his excitement because you've been waiting for him to turn seventeen for this. You listen as he talk about completely irrelevant stuff, with eyes bright and his whole being humming with anticipation, his face still baby young.

A carefree smile breaks on your face and you can't help but reach across and ruffle up his hair. He shrinks back a little, and you pull away immediately. You know it's not supposed to be offending and that's just him growing up and not wanting to be coddled anymore. But you feel just like that day when you found him in the bathroom, face puffed up from crying and sopping wet and you still don't know what that was all about.

Then it hits you, and all of a sudden you feel that you can really understand how mom and dad feel. This…this letting go, knowing that your kid brother no longer needs you the way he used to…

~ :: ~

He preens for the longest while in front of the mirror, adjusting his floppy light brown hair and scrutinizing his reflection.

"Think I should dye my hair?" he asks without really directing the question at you, so you don't answer and continued surfing the net, "maybe I should give it a go…" you hear him mumble on.

"Just do it and stop talking to yourself like a girl." You interrupted impatiently, wondering at the same time what is the deal about getting his hair dyed.

"You know dad doesn't like it."

"Dad's a prude and will forever be one."

"I'm serious."

"So am I." you answered.

He chuckled, turned and threw the plastic comb in his hand at you and you ducked away effortlessly.

"Try blonde, think it will look good on you." You casually suggested.

Fay turned back and pulled at his hair some more, already imagining and considering the shade of blonde he would like to have. You don't think anymore of it and immersed yourself back into the mystical plane of the World Wide Web.

The next day, baby brother came back late into the evening with his head smelling like chemical, and a crowning glory of gold on his head.

~ :: ~

You smell it on the cover of your sheets and it hangs midway like an invisible curtain of choking agents, you find the air unbreathable. It galls you to know that he keeps snubbing your warnings, to well…snub it out. You open the window to let some fresh air in, and suck in a deep breathe, then you proceed to rummage through the drawers and cupboards for the bag of weed he's hiding. It took you some time, but you finally dug them out from the bottom of the cupboard, hidden from view by a loose flap of wood.

You threw the bag on your bed and sat down to wait for your brother's return. Your mind is being controlled by anger right now, and you're trying very hard to calm yourself down. Your parents don't know about the new habits he picked up and you want to keep it that way. But at the same time you wonder if that is the best way to go about it.

He came back a little after two in the morning, you're already sleeping and you jerk awake from the sound of the door closing. You reach for the table lamp and switched it on. You see him with smudged make-up on his face and for some reason, you lose it. Within three strides, you're across the room, gripping hard on his arm and hauling him against the wall, and you press closer to him because you don't want to be loud and risk your parents waking up to find you guys like this.

"I thought I asked you to stop?" you snarled as you shoved the bag into his chest and you're glad that baby brother can still be intimidated by you. You feel him trembled and turn away from you, and you presume that it's because he's afraid to face your wrath. "I want you to stop, if not, dad is going to know about this."

You see him nod his head and you know that he knows you're serious, so you let go and you're about to tell him to go clean up and go to bed when you hear it. Then you go immediately from mightily pissed off to feeling incredibly guilty. You fuss over the why when you're not even the person here making a mistake, but that's the way it works. Your brother always managed to make you feel like an asshole whenever he cries infront of you.

~ :: ~

"Hey."

"Yeah?"

"What's this?"

"A letter?"

"I can tell it's a letter. But this is sent more than six months ago and you didn't even tell us that you applied for it."

"I'm not interested in going now."

"Why? You'll be great there!"

"It's my future, Kuro. Let me decide what's best for me? I would know…wouldn't I?"

~ :: ~

It's like you just experienced a lightning strike and he don't look at your eyes when he says it. You balled up your fists and tries to swallow your anger, couldn't believe that he's giving up what you've worked so hard for, what your parents have worked for. How do words disappear and why is it that you can never say what you want to? Some changes that never did matter are starting to get vivid and you ask yourself…when did the years get in between? You watch him sit at the other end of the dining table, the cup of water clasped between his hands, his eyes focused on the water swirling within the glass, and you wondered, how did your brother become this stranger before you? You don't think for too long because you know you've already lost him, and you're not being skeptical because you know time won't turn back, but at the same time, you're also confused about how everything got to this point.

TBC