Epilogue—They Build Buildings so Tall
The silence of the early morning settled around her as she lay in bed, propped up against a mountain of pillows. Her fingers absentmindedly rubbed against the bare skin of her stomach, skimming the swollen roundness.
She shifted, aligning her spine against the pillows, trying in vain to find a comfortable position.
"Awake already?"
She turned her gaze, catching his sleepy smile as he propped himself up against his elbow, reaching out to cup her chin gently with his free hand.
"Couldn't sleep," she admitted, reaching to place her hand atop his, running her fingers against his skin.
"Your back again?" he asked, concerned as his hand strayed to her hip, rubbing the edge of her massive stomach lightly.
She nodded, slowly maneuvering her body so she could face him. The back aches were only one of the physical discomforts of pregnancy.
He continued to stroke her side. She delighted in the feel of his gentle hands against her stretching skin. She closed her eyes, her lids fluttering shut as her lips pulled into a faint smile. With the constant motion of his hand stroking the length of her side, she found the dull ache of her back easier to ignore as she slipped in and out of consciousness.
He chuckled slightly, causing her eyes to open once again as her gaze fell on his. His own lips curved into a smile, the goofy grin she loved so much—the one he saved only for her. She bent down, brushing her lips against that smile she adored.
"You can sleep," he encouraged her, pulling his mouth away from her hungry lips, leaving her slightly frustrated. Her pregnancy hormones raged, making her even more sensitive to his touch than usual.
"I'm not tired...not anymore, at least," she grinned, bearing her lips against his once more. He didn't protest as he hovered over her, giving her just what she wanted as he bit her lower lip gently.
She still found it hard to believe her life had reached this state of such stability and perfection. Only a year and a half ago, she had her doubts, but with her husband's strong arms around her and her perfect child sleeping soundly just down the hall, she had to wonder why she had ever had qualms in the first place.
"Sometimes I still can't believe we're having another one this soon," she murmured as he slid his hand down her expanding stomach once again. It certainly hadn't been in their plans, but as the tiny life they created continued to grow within her, she could not help but to flush with pride, the adventure their life had become only bringing her a wave excitement.
Despite the unintentional circumstances, they knew they were ready. Everything they had gone through together, every worry, every doubt, every unsure moment had led to this.
"Do you still think we're having a boy?" he asked her, surfacing a typical early morning discussion. As her stomach grew larger, becoming a more permanent and definite part of their lives, the conversations always seemed to revolve around the baby.
"I think so," she told him, glancing down at her stomach, as if staring at the mound would somehow clarify her prediction. "They say you carry differently depending on the gender...you're supposed to carry a boy down lower...but I honestly can't tell if there's a difference from last time."
He skimmed his finger along the edge of her stomach, dipping his fingers into the elastic waistband of her pajama shorts as he traced the outline of her belly. "I can't really tell either."
She quivered slightly, the subtle touch igniting her hormones once again. She suddenly wanted his hands deeper. Much deeper.
A loud cry from down the hallway cut through her her lusty thoughts. She turned to catch his gaze, letting out an overly dramatic sigh. "I'll go," she offered, regretfully pulling away from him.
"Are you sure?" he asked, sitting up as well. "I don't mind."
"No, I'll go," she insisted, sliding her swollen feet into a pair of slippers, groaning slightly as she dragged her massive body from the bed. "Take advantage of it while I still can."
She heard him chuckle as she padded down the hall, opening the door to the small bedroom. The shrill cries grew louder as she entered the room.
"Don't cry, Mommy's here," she soothed, approaching the crib to lift her small daughter from behind the bars. She held her close, aligning her child's body around her stomach as she ruffled her dark, wavy hair.
Bella's cries ceased moments later, her mouth curving into a wide smile. Rachel couldn't help but to smile in return, placing a kiss against her daughter's wet cheek. As she placed the eighteen-month-old child onto her changing table, Finn appeared in the doorway, smiling as he stepped up beside her.
"Didn't think I could handle it?" Rachel mockingly accused him, trying to keep the ever-energetic Bella from rolling onto her stomach.
"More like I couldn't stay away from my two favorite girls," he grinned, placing a kiss against both of their foreheads.
Bella giggled, squirming as she reached for her father. "Dadda."
Finn smiled as broadly as the day she had first uttered the word, reaching to rub her rosy cheek affectionately.
"Do you have enough time before work to dress her while I make breakfast?" Rachel asked, moving to the side as Finn took over, snapping the buttons of her onesie into place.
Finn, inspired to reach out to children the way his favorite teacher had never failed to do, had become an elementary choir teacher. Mr. Schue couldn't have been prouder of the younger man when he had announced his first position to their closest family friends.
Rachel had never imagined she's be a stay-at-home mom, though she hadn't ever planned on marrying her high school sweetheart while still in college either. The much subdued lifestyle she adopted away from the glamor and glitz she had always imagined did not cause her regret as it had in the early days of their marriage. With a beautiful daughter and a new baby on the way, Rachel's endless adoration of herself had shifted to these two small people she loved more than she could ever express, and though it had fallen into place without a plan, Rachel had found her perfect place in life. She hoped to mold her children into driven young stars, cheering them on the way her own fathers had. By encouraging them to find confidence and reach for their dreams, she hoped they would grow up to live a life as fulfilling as hers.
"I have time," Finn informed her, "though you'll have to pick out the outfit. You know I suck at that."
She grinned, not bothering to assuage him because it was the absolute truth. Finn had no more appreciation for fashion than he had in high school, and even if he had, it would've been impossible for him to keep up with Rachel's eccentric tastes.
After sifting through her closet, Rachel handed Finn an appropriate ensemble, heading for the door as soon as her task was complete.
"Emma's bringing Josh over today," Finn reminded her as she stepped over the threshold.
"Oh, yes. It's Wednesday," Rachel remembered.
A year and a half after being released from the hospital, Emma was doing as well as expected. The transition back to her home after four months in confinement had proved to be particularly difficult. Though on medication and equipped with the tools to handle her debilitating condition, using those same techniques away from the safety of her hospital room were much more trying than she or Will had expected. Josh had spent a great deal of time with Rachel and Finn while Will tried to ease Emma back into her real life and help her adjust to taking on the tasks and lifestyle she had left behind.
She still had breakdowns from time. There were days she refused to get out of bed, days she cried so much she could not even properly function. But Will stood firmly by her side, mustering the patience of a saint as he struggled with her through the long healing process. Rachel and Finn always offered to help in any way they could, which usually meant taking Josh of their hands. Rachel hardly minded. She loved the little boy like her own son, and she was more than happy to help the couple that had been such a significant part of her life over the years.
Emma did not return to McKinley, and a year and a half later, she still showed no signs of returning to her former position. Still, with Emma at home, Will and Emma had decided to send Josh to daycare every Monday and Friday. Rachel had offered to him on Wednesdays, and on Tuesdays and Thursdays, Emma took care of her son herself. Breaking up the week into manageable chunks this way turned out to be a success. Emma was happier and healthier having three days out of the week to keep caught up with the laundry, cleaning, other errands, and the care of herself, and on the days she did care solely for her son, she was able to more adequately shower him with the undivided attention and love she had always struggled to express.
After dressing, eating breakfast, and giving Finn a lingering goodbye kiss, the doorbell rang right on cue. Rachel left Bella in her highchair, kissing her dark curls, as she went to open the door, revealing a pencil skirt clad Emma and a sleepy looking Josh holding onto one of her legs.
Though almost six, he was very small for his age, looking more like a toddler rather than a boy about to enter kindergarten. Emma ran her fingers through his curly hair, which was just beginning to cover his small ears—Rachel knew that was one of Emma and Will's minor battles. Emma liked his hair long, letting it curl into soft little ringlets, while Will was convinced it looked better cropped shorter. It looked like Emma was winning this time around.
"Ready to go in?" Emma asked, taking Josh's hand in hers as they stepped through the doorway. Josh dragged his feet, his face contorting into a pouty expression. "We had a late night last night," Emma explained. "And someone woke up a bit later than usual so we're having a bit of trouble getting going this morning, aren't we?" Emma glanced down at her son, who immediately attached himself to her leg once she let go of his hand.
"Up, Mommy," he whined, tugging at the hem of her blouse, acting more like a three-year-old than the five-year-old he was.
Rachel watched as Emma sighed, giving into her son's pleads easily as his brown eyes widened, his lower lip trembling slightly. "You know you're getting too big for this..." she muttered as Josh wound his arms tightly around her neck. Emma rolled her eyes, beginning to rub Josh's back lightly as he clung to her. While Emma had been in the hospital, Josh had done exceptionally well developing at a normal pace. He interacted with others, both children and adults, and he began to develop his own sense of independence. But having his mother back had caused him to regress slightly. He became increasingly clingy, refusing to let his mother out of his sight when she was around and constantly holding onto to her and seeking her attention. It was his own way of dealing with the fact that the person he adored most had been taken from him for so long; he seemed slightly frightened that she would leave him again, and he tried his best to keep her near him in the only way he knew possible.
Rachel, feeling useless as she watched the pair, attempted to coax Josh from his mother's arms. "Hey, Josh. Why don't you come with me to the living room where you can play with some toys?"
Josh only buried his face deeper into Emma's neck, refusing to even look Rachel's way.
"Why are you so shy today, sweetheart?" Emma murmured. "You see Auntie Rachel almost as much as you see me..." Josh refused to answer, locking his legs around her waist as soon as Emma tried to place him on the floor. "He's definitely going to need a nap today," she told Rachel, eyeing the younger woman significantly. As Josh grew older, it was harder and harder to enforce nap time, and with him enrolled in an all day kindergarten program at the start of next school year, Emma and Will no longer fought it, figuring that training him to handle himself for six hours straight without a nap would prove beneficial.
Rachel nodded. "Of course. I'll put him down with Bella this afternoon."
"Bella," Josh murmured, his eyes sparking with interest as he dared to peek out from behind Emma's neck.
Rachel smiled faintly, knowing exactly how to pry Josh from his mother's arms. Josh adored Bella as though she were his own little sister. Just the mention of her name always perked him up considerably. She was the only thing that effectively distracted Josh from Emma.
"Bella's in the kitchen. Do you want to come with me to see her?" Rachel asked, earning a smile from Emma as Josh twisted in her grasp, nodding eagerly.
"Well, you're going to have to be a big boy and walk with me there if you want to come," Rachel told him solemnly.
Josh squirmed in Emma's arms, burying his face in her shoulder in frustration. "Mommy can carry me."
"I don't think so, Josh," Rachel continued, peaking behind Emma's back to catch Josh's wide stare. "You see, your Mommy's not coming to the kitchen right now. You're going to have walk with me if you want to come."
Josh looked at Rachel, considering her words. He glanced toward the floor, and for a brief moment, she believed he intended to come down. But in an instant, he had his arms around Emma's neck once again. "Mommy, please, please, please carry me there," Josh begged, twisting his fingers in Emma's hair as he held on tighter.
Emma licked her lips tentatively, glancing desperately at Rachel for support. Rachel knew Emma hated to say no. Not only did her sweet disposition make her willing to give in, but her fear of causing a mess or a breakdown also led to her soft parenting technique.
Rachel encouraged her with a nod, hoping that Emma could muster the strength to be kind, but firm.
Sighing, Emma went along with Rachel's original words. "Nope, Josh. I'm not going to the kitchen right now. So you can either go with Rachel by yourself like a big boy, or stay right here with me while Rachel goes to see Bella without you."
It wasn't exactly what Rachel had in mind, but it was an improvement to Emma's normal way of handling things.
He pouted for a moment, but soon he gave in, sliding down Emma's front as his feet hit the floor. Emma flashed Rachel a victorious smile.
Rachel took Josh's hand in her own, leading the small boy to the kitchen.
"Mommy, will you hold me again when we get back?" Josh asked before disappearing into the next room, craning his neck behind his shoulder as he glanced hopefully at his mother.
"We'll see, Josh," Emma sighed as Rachel tugged Josh's hand, leading him around the corner.
"Bella!" he shrieked, letting go of Rachel's hand immediately as he ran over to the highchair.
"Dosh!" the one-year-old child screamed just as loudly.
"That's right, Josh is here," Rachel smiled, bringing a wet cloth over to clean her daughter's sticky face.
"Dosh," she said again, pointing a fat finger to the grinning boy peering over the edge of the tray. "Bay?"
Rachel easily translated her daughter's request, unstrapping her from the seat as she spoke. "Yep, you and Josh can go play in the living room right now."
Josh eagerly trailed along behind Rachel's heels as they entered the living room. His prior request to be babied by his mother seemed long forgotten.
"Say hi to Emma, Bells," Rachel encouraged her daughter. Bella twisted around, noticing Emma for the first time.
"Ebba," she clarified, her mouth curving into a toothy grin.
"That's right. Can you say hi?" Rachel once again encouraged.
Emma waved, smiling at the little girl. Bella obediently waved back.
She placed Bella on the floor next to Josh, who immediately began shoving toys in the direction of the toddler. With the two children engaged, Rachel turned to Emma. "Do you want to stay for a little bit, Emma?" Rachel had only recently begun to feel comfortable calling her former teacher by her first name. It had been easier than with Will—with him, she still often found herself calling him Mr. Schue. He had been much more of a part of Rachel's life during high school. She honestly hadn't given a lot of though to her kind, quiet guidance counselor until Will had announced his engagement to her.
"I can't stay long," Emma told her as she led her to the couch. "I have grocery shopping and a much needed kitchen scouring to do today."
Rachel nodded, knowing the Emma needed to stay on top of these tasks if she were going to function properly. Emma's needy, controlling personality had frustrated Rachel back before she had truly known the woman. It seemed almost selfish to Rachel the way she couldn't handle things on a normal level, but as Rachel grew closer to her, she had come to realize that her actions were anything but self-centered. The fact that she tried so hard, the fact that she ended up breaking down at the expense of trying to function normally for the people around her only made Rachel have a new respect for the woman. Emma had to work just that much harder for all the things that came naturally for most people, things Rachel took advantage of.
"I can't believe how big Bella's getting," Emma muttered, watching the little boy and girl become lost in their own world. "And you too—I can't believe you're due in four weeks. It feels like just yesterday you were pregnant with Bella."
"I know—it's crazy, isn't it? Just a few more weeks, and I'll have another little one to chase after." Rachel grinned, rubbing her swollen stomach affectionately.
Emma smiled at her, but Rachel could see the slight hesitation in her eyes. With a brand new baby in the house, Emma and Rachel had come to the decision that it would be best if Rachel stopped taking Josh on Wednesdays until her lifestyle become stable once again. Taking Wednesdays out of the mix meant that Emma would have to watch Josh on her own for three straight days, a task Rachel knew intimidated her. Emma had worked so hard to reach the consistent point her life was at now that Rachel knew it frightened her to imagine all the progress crumbling. But her progress did not have to be viewed pessimistically. Rachel was sure that Emma had built enough of a foundation that she would be able to handle the task with only minor difficulties.
Rachel patted Emma's hand reassuringly, letting the simple touch say a thousand words. Emma smiled appreciatively. "Thanks, Rachel. For everything."
"You know I don't mind in the least," Rachel told her.
Emma nodded, rising from the couch as she did so. "I need to head out now."
"I'll see you around four this afternoon," Rachel told her, watching Emma approach the two playing children.
"I need to leave now, Josh," Emma gently told her son. "Be good for Auntie Rachel. I'll pick you up later."
Josh nodded, hardly even glancing up from his game as Emma brushed a soft kiss against his forehead. Bella was just as unresponsive as Emma gently patted her curls.
Rachel chuckled. "At least they aren't making a scene."
Emma smiled. "Thanks again, Rachel. I'll see you later."
Rachel saw her to the door, collapsing against the couch as soon as Emma left, watching the children continue to play happily on the floor. It took Josh a good five minutes to register that Emma had left. Slightly distraught, he ran to the door, Bella immediately tottering after him.
"I want her to come back," he whined, shooting Rachel a worried look as he reached for the locked door, twisting the knob in vain. It was not uncommon for him to ask for Emma as soon she left.
Rachel pulled herself from the couch, approaching the little boy. "She'll be back before you know it. Why don't you and Bells come back over and play again?"
He bit his lip, chewing on her words. "She'll come back, right?" He caught Rachel's gaze, yearning for confirmation.
"Of course she'll come back," Rachel reassured him, ruffling his ginger curls. "She'll always come back."
It was a hefty promise for her to make, especially since it was not even hers to keep, but Rachel felt confident as she uttered the words, leading Josh and Bella back over to the living room.
Rachel knew that Emma would not give up. Despite her delicate condition, Emma had always been one to persist. Though on the outside she could easily appear broken, she had a strong heart, a strong soul that held her together, that would keep her together. And Rachel knew Emma would always battle for what was worth the fight.
A/N: Ha! How do you like that beginning? :P
Sorry this took so long. It was so hard for me to come to the conclusion about how to end it, and I feel pleased with the way it turned out. I did orginally want to keep this very angsty, but as I listened to the song for which this story was named, I realized it ended on a slightly hopeful note, so I took the same approach with this story.