WARNING: These oneshots are not for the faint of heart. They are real, raw emotion and reality from children who are abused sexually by people they thought they could trust. I am not going to dance around the subject matter. I am going to be real with you. If you feel you cannot handle it, then I appreciate it, I know that, and I accept it. But these things need to be written. You need to know what it's like every day for these kids, voiceless from the monsters that control their lives and make them powerless. If you've been abused, then you can sympathize easily with Lissa. If you haven't, then you cannot possibly imagine the pain. Thank you.
S.O.S
Chapter Two
June 2, 1893
Alyssa Mae O'Rourke liked to pretend she was a happy child. She liked watching the school children as they left the only schoolhouse in Tralee, running and jumping and having the time of their lives. They laughed and played and skipped and worried not about the terrible things like those Lissa worried about. She was alone in the world, lost like a moon without a planet to orbit around, without a purpose, without hope.
So, now, as she stood in the kitchen, listening to her parents fighting, she felt old. At eleven years of age, Alyssa O'Rourke felt very old. And very, very sleepy. She clasped her hands in front of her, after smoothing her wrinkled dress, and listened. They were fighting about her again. Weren't they always?
She'd finally gotten the courage to tell her mother about what The Monster was doing to her at night. How he crawled under her colorful blanket, whispering terrible things into her ear, touching her in a way only a man should touch his wife. And her mother was horrified. So now, she listened as The Monster told her mother that she was a liar. Why would Alyssa say those things? He merely liked cuddling with his daughter. If that is a crime, let him be hanged for loving his daughter!
And, just like all the other times, Mary would bend to his will, knowing in her heart what he was doing, but her head told her to submit. It was the way of a wife. Alyssa told herself quietly that she would never be a wife to any man, if this was to be her fate. Not even to Sean, with whom she harbored great, deep feelings of something like love.
Her insides warmed slightly at the thought of him. He was probably working in his father's shop, sawing wood and measuring lengths. Sean Conlon was her best friend. And tonight, they were making their escape to America.
Alyssa looked up when her mother entered the room, her dull red hair a mass of unbrushed ringlets. Her jade green eyes regarded Alyssa's Granny Smith apple eyes and something passed between mother and daughter. Mary had failed to protect her daughter and the guilt was written plain as day all of her face. But Lissa expected this. How could she be so foolish as to think her mother would defend her in front of her father?
"Alyssa, why don't you go play with your dolls upstairs?" Mary said, her voice sounding as tired as Lissa felt.
Both weighed down by the same man, but with different guilt. Lissa's guilt was that her body betrayed her time and time again at The Monster's hand, enjoying it while her mouth and brain cried out from the pain. She hated herself, hated her body for betraying her anguish to the monster that lived in her house. Mary's guilt, knowing her daughter was being abused, but doing nothing. To Lissa, this made her mother a monster as well.
Lissa held her chin a little higher, wanting to hurt her mother as much as her father hurt her, just so she knew what it was like to be burdened down by the weight of his threats, of his hand, of his fear-inflicting gazes. Mary looked away first, unable to look at the ghosts that haunted her daughter's eyes, knowing that the monster who inflicted them was the same man she shared her bed with.
But she couldn't face the reality. It was easier to pretend things weren't happening, so that Tralee wouldn't see the scandal of it. Not that it mattered. Mary had nowhere to turn to, even if she were to tell.
"Will you never stand up for me, Momma?" Lissa asked, shocking Mary at first. The shock passed through her well-trained face, the face that betrayed nothing, no sympathy, no affection, until it settled back into its emotionless state.
"Lissie, darling, I've enough stress in my life. Don't add to it with your wild lies," Mary said, sounding weary but her face, and her heart, betrayed no sympathy for her daughter.
And just like that, the last little thread of hope she had that her mother would ever be on her side, shattered. Mary would always be on the opposite side of the playing field. She would never choose her daughter over her husband.
Lissa didn't look away, didn't cry, didn't stomp in frustration. But she clamped her mouth shut as the scream welled up in her throat, wanting to burst forth. Instead, Lissa squared her small shoulders and marched herself from the kitchen towards the back of the small house, intent on packing her last few things for that night. The night when she and Sean would make their escape.
"Little girl."
Lissa stopped as a gruff voice called out to her. She turned her head slightly, seeing The Monster sitting in his chair, drinking brandy from a shot glass and smiling crookedly at her. He so terrified Lissa. So very much.
"Would you bring me my brandy from the cabinet, Aly?" he purred, using the name she so hated.
At first, she thought about walking away, but she was sure she'd get a thorough beating, on top of a disgusting grope if she even made an attempt. Swallowing her fear, she entered the monster's cave, taking the keys from his hand, careful not to touch him. She walked to the cabinet on the far side of the room and unlocked it, pulling out the brown flask. She glared at it while her back was still turned and then relocked the curio cabinet, walking both the alcohol and the key back to the waiting fiend.
She set the flask on the stand beside his chair and set the keys beside it, staring right into his terrible eyes. Desperate to leave, Lissa made a move towards the door when a large hand wrapped around her small wrist, tugging hard, forcing her to stand still.
"I love watching you walk, baby," he said quietly.
Acid mixed with fear rose in her throat and when the vice on her wrist was released, she all but ran from the room, his eyes burning holes in her back as she left him. She closed the door to her bedroom and glared at her bed; the bed her body was bruised and broken in. She hated it. Hated sleeping in it. Hated.
There was a trunk at the foot of her bed, where she kept her dolls. She'd hidden them underneath some old things inside of it, after she'd chopped all of their yarn hair off and pulled their button eyes off, so they wouldn't have to see the bad things like she did.
With a frown, she sat down on that trunk, looking around. Under the dark of night, she and Sean would make their escape. Sending a quick prayer up under her breath, Lissa climbed up out of her window, dropping to the grass underneath rather ungracefully. She stood up and dusted herself off from grass and dirt, and then ran headlong up the dirt street. She liked running. It was freeing.
She reached the Conlon's cottage in record time, smoothing her dress down shyly before she knocked on the front door. Maggie Conlon kept telling her to just come right in, since they were practically family now anyways, but Lissa's manners on top of her natural shyness prevented her from doing just that.
Maggie came to the door and smiled as she peered down at Lissa with bright blue eyes that reminded Lissa of Sean. "Hello, little Lissie," she said sweetly and Lissa smiled shyly.
"Hello, Mrs. Conlon. I hope I'm not bothering you," she said clearly, wringing her hands shyly in front of her.
"Not at all, darling. Come on in. We were just about to have lunch," Maggie said, inviting her in. The warm smell of lamb stew invaded her nose and Lissa felt her stomach rumble in response.
Lissa smiled and embraced Carolina when she cam running down the steps. Carolina was almost ten years old, with straw blonde hair and pretty blue eyes. Lissa liked the little girl, and she liked watching Sean interact with his sister. He was a good big brother.
"Lissie! I'm so glad you're here!" Carolina exclaimed.
Blushing, Lissa smoothed a hand down Carolina's free-flowing haystack of hair, like a mother would with her child. Like she wished her mother would do to her hair.
"I'm glad I'm here, too," Lissa responded, enjoying the child-like wonder and the innocence that permeated Carolina's little being. How so she desperately wished she could still have that innocence.
"All right, all right. Let's not hang all over Lissa, Carrie," Maggie told her daughter, giving her a swift pat on the bottom as she left Lissa to trot into the kitchen.
Lissa followed Maggie into the kitchen and smiled at Carolina, who waved at her from the table. She's adorable, Lissa decided mentally.
"Sit down, Lissie dear," Maggie said. "Carolina, come set the table before the men get home."
Lissa lowered herself into a chair and watched Carolina set the table, setting out bowls for the stew and spoons beside them. The front door was opened and Lissa felt her heart fluttering like around like some excitable bird.
"Hello there, little wood elf."
William Conlon entered the room, tall and strong with blond hair and bright blue eyes. The angles and planes of his face were sharp, making him handsome but the sweat on his brow gave him a rugged look. He came over and kissed his wife in greeting. Sean shuffled into the room and came to sit beside Lissa, leaning over to kiss her cheek out of instinct, almost completely copying his parents' actions.
Making Lissa smile was one of Sean's favorite things to do. It was a rarity, though, something she didn't do very often. She didn't like to smile. But for some odd reason, he felt compelled to continue to try and make her smile. He wanted to be the reason why she smiled.
So when Lissa's mouth quirked upwards in some semblance of a smile when his lips touched her cheek, Sean counted it as a win. They all held hands and said grace before they finally served themselves from the giant pot of stew. Lissa couldn't remember the last time she'd felt good enough to eat something, having constant nausea at home from The Monster lurking about. But now that she was away from her house, she found that she was starving.
A bowl and a half of stew in, the knocking began at the front door. The warm food turned to lead in her belly and she dropped her spoon, knowing instantly that it was The Monster.
"He doesn't know I'm here," she gasped and stood up, shaking all over. "I promise. I've not said anything about you all."
"It's all right, Lissie," Maggie said, standing up herself. "Sean, take Lina upstairs and don't say a word. I shall fetch you when this is over."
Sean stood up, picking Carolina up, holding her with one hand, grabbing Lissa's hand with the other. They raced upstairs and hid nearby to listen. Carolina was just fine with this, because she got up and went to her room to play with her dolls.
William answered the door, followed by Maggie. The Monster was all smiles when the door of the cottage was opened to him.
"Hello, there," he said pleasantly. "I seem to have misplaced my child. She has long strawberry blond hair, green eyes, uh… small and short. Have you seen her anywhere around?"
No. We haven't," William said stiffly.
Sean pressed closer to Lissa, pressing against her back while his hand held her shoulder. Every once and a while, a small tremor would shake his body. Lissa was shocked to realize that he was scared, too.
"Do you know of anyone who would know? I hate to think of my child out in the town all alone," The Monster pressed.
"No," William responded, just as stiffly.
The door closed then. No 'thank you'; nothing. Maggie was swearing in Gaelic and William was speaking to her in soft tones. Sean and Lissa stood up at the same time, padding back down the stairs. Lissa couldn't wrap her brain around the fact that perhaps these people actually cared about her. It was perplexing.
Night fell quickly upon the Emerald Isle. All that was left to do was go back to Lissa's house to get her knapsack of things to take to the new world. Maggie gave Sean the change purse full of money that would buy their voyage across the ocean, plus take care of food for a few days while Sean got a job.
Sean knew he was to take care of Lissa. He and his father had a very long talk about it that morning. Not like Sean found this a problem. Ever since meeting Lissa, he decided his sole mission in life would be to protect her at all costs. And he would do just that.
With one last hug goodbye, Sean and Lissa departed from his house and went for her house. Sean gave her a boost inside the window and she dropped soundlessly to the floor. Lissa crept to her bed and pulled her knapsack out from under it, smiling into the darkness. She was about to turn when her door opened. Lissa froze and turned as The Monster entered the room, staring at her with drunken eyes until he realized who it was.
"You!" he shouted and staggered towards her. Lissa evaded him easily, since he was drunk. "Get back here, you bitch!"
"Lissa, come on! It's time to go!" Sean called, waving her over as she dropped her things on the ground. She pushed herself against the hole in her window, bending herself in half, Sean pulling on her arms to get her out. The window was small and it wasn't easy to maneuver out of quickly.
Lissa screamed when The Monster's hand gripped her ankle, giving it a sharp tug. She turned her frightened eyes to Sean. His face set in a determined mask and he began pulling on Lissa as hard as he could. Lissa kicked and fought to get free but The Monster was much stronger that she was.
"Stupid whore! I'll break you for this!" he shouted, gripping her other ankle as it flailed backwards, trying to kick him. With one last effort, Sean pulled and Lissa kicked and she was out of the window.
Lissa fell forward and the both of them flopped onto the ground together. Sean grabbed her bag, pulled her up and the two of them ran off into the night, The Monster shouting and growling behind them.
"You bitch! I'll find you! No matter where you go, I WILL FIND YOU!"
The two children ran the entire six miles it took to get to the Fenit marina, which was very, very painful. Lissa though her lungs were about ready to throb out of her chest; they hurt so deeply. Her leg muscles felt taunt and heavy, and she felt like wanting to stop Sean so she could rest, but she couldn't. They couldn't.
They had to make it to the marina on time, 'else they wouldn't catch their ship on time and they would be up the creek without a paddle, so to speak. And Lissa didn't want to go home and face her father's wrath.
They stopped at the mouth of the dock maze to catch their breath. Sean handed Lissa a small decanter of water he'd brought with him, letting her drink half while he only took two small sips, letting her have the rest. Getting her out of Ireland was his main priority. He would tend to himself later. Lissa was who mattered most.
Pulling the money from his pocket, he handed two pounds to the toll man, who inspected the bills for fraud and then let the children pass.
Once safely aboard the SS New York, Lissa curled against Sean's shoulder and allowed herself to cry.
Thanks to everyone for their kind words. You all keep me writing. :) Next up: how Lissa and Sean got separated. This is so sad. It's tempting to just let them stay together. So I tried my hand at third person point of view, as you can tell. Ehhh, what do you guys think? I'm not sure how I feel about it.
CTB!
xx Wicked
PS- I've posted the link to the summer fanfiction contest on my profile. Vote for me perhaps? (I'm pushing for best couple but I'm not being picky or nothin'... C: )