Outside Looking In

I sat alone in a white room, facing the wall on a wooden chair. I was wearing a purple strapless dress and 4 inch purple lace up heals and the diamond heart necklace Edward had given me long ago. I'd done a photo shoot today to get some easy cash and I didn't plan on changing out of these cloths for awhile. My hair curled around my round face and my silver-gold eyes (gotten from bird blood and deer blood) shown in the bitter moon light coming from the side window.

As I shut my eyes, everything came vividly into view, not as if I needed to close my eyes. Everything Edward had done to this point had gone through my thoughts. I saw everything, from everyone's point of view. As of yesterday, Edward was now Bella's hero, saving her from an oncoming car that had slid on black ice. He'd done something unthinkable, changing fate. He'd done that already, with me, but it seemed wrong when he did it with her. It seemed unfair though I knew it wasn't. Everyone besides Jasper and Rosalie had a horrible problem with it and they were looking for revenge.

Jasper's point was understandable. He wasn't going to let anything come between him and Alice's life together. People knowing the Cullen's were vampires would be very bad on their end, and as well as everyone's end which brought us to Rose. She couldn't stand Edward for saving her, but she also couldn't stand knowing that Edward preferred a human over her un-humanlike beauty. She wasn't alone on that aspect. They both wanted to go kill Bella to get over the horrible mess and of course, Edward wouldn't allow that. The rest of the family didn't mind and after a little talk from Alice, Jasper calmed down some as well. But Edward was going to have a problem with Rose. She never backed down easily and he knew that.

Since I knew that I'd have to watch everything closely that went on from now on, with money in the Cullen family account, I'd bought a small house in Washington, Massachusetts. It was quite cute, and quite small and quiet. The white room brought piece and the white wall which sat straight in front of me worked as a projectors screen. This way, I didn't have to have my eyes closed the whole time, I could project my thoughts and a vision played out in front of me like a movie. But this movie seemed more like a television drama.

Everything was so topsy-turvy. Nothing was the way it should be and it was Bella's fault. My head was kept repeating that, 'this is Bella's fault, that girl doesn't belong' but my heart was telling me totally different.

'Bella wouldn't have meant anything if you hadn't left.'

After that my head would say 'nothing would have been different. Edward would still love Bella.' Then my heart would take the blow because it knew that statement was true. It actually seemed as though Edward loved this human more then me and that hurt, deeply hurt. It hurt so much I wanted him and couldn't stand him at the same time. It was if as though he were saying he loved me, but then leaving me behind. But the truth was, any part of Edward that did love me was gone now.

But that couldn't be right. Edward and I had always shared a connection. Something that seemed blood related, but in our case venom related. But no one else in our family had the same connection as us, it was deeper then venom, it was ourselves in a whole. But now it seemed as though…Edward wasn't thinking of me at all. He hadn't for over a month and how far could I let it go on. And it wasn't only Edward who had stopped thinking about me.

It was everyone.

Except Alice. Every time Alice looked at cute clothes that she'd love to dress me up in, she thought of me and when she saw my future as well. She missed me. So did Emmett and Jasper, and Esme and Carlisle.

That got my hopes up. But it still hurt that Edward didn't care about me anymore. I suppose I should have just excepted it.

So I tried.

If he didn't love me, that was okay. My other part got the better of me.

The only problem is, I still loved him. I couldn't reject the thoughts that I wanted to because I really didn't want to. It wasn't fair. I'd know him longer than her, knew him more than she could possibly hope for, but he just didn't care. That didn't matter. And now, I was alone in a battle I'd already lost.

I couldn't understand, was how I'd let it go this far, on both ends.

I should have never left and this was all my fault. The phone in my pocket started to vibrate, making an annoying tune. Its vibration startled me and I fell of the chair and began laughing at myself. A vampire who could hear peoples thoughts scared by the most annoying sound something could make. I pressed the green button with out looking at the screen. I knew who this annoying tone belonged to.

"Hello Alice." I giggled into the phone.

"You're coming back?!" she cheered into the phone.

"No. I'm not you must have seen someone else's vision." I soiled her joy. She didn't deserve to be happy, she was going to replace me too.

"Edward just did the stupidest thing yesterday." she began to tell me.

"He save the girl from the van and disrupted fate making life harder for himself." I finished for her.

"Oh yeah, so can see thoughts. But anyways guess what!" she finished excited again.

"What Alice?" I groaned.

"She's going to be my best friend!" she replied happily into the phone.

"Great. So now you replacing me too?" I replied swallowing a dry lump in my throat.

"No! No ones replaced you Julia." she sounded appalled by my accusation.

"Edward has, and soon you will."

"Julia we all love you the same way we had before you and Edward left over a year ago. Even Rosalie misses you, a little bit." she added with a smile in her tone.

"No." I shook my head.

"Yessss." she sounded playfully.

"Look Alice I'm busy."

"You aren't busy." she caught my lie. "You are sitting in a white room, in Washington, Massachusetts, staring mindlessly at the wall, watching what is going on from someone else eyes."

"Okay Alice." I said angrily. "Then I just don't want to talk to you. I'm replacing you with this nice designer dress I have on and theses nice designer shoes."

"I'M HANGING UP BEFORE YOU HANG UP ON ME!" she shouted then the phone went dead.

I couldn't even talk to a friend right. I was loosing everything and it was my own fault.

I sighed and sat back on the chair and continued my movie. Looking through Edwards mind to get a quick flash back was easy enough. Once caught up, I saw what Edward was no planning to do.

He stood outside Bella's house, looking up into her window, finding the best way to creep in. My hand clenched to fist on my knees as he continued up the tree into her rust window, being careful not to make to much noise. He crept in slowly and shut the window behind him.

Smiling at his success, he started to move around. He took in her scent and looked to the things in her room making small connections and jotting down notes in his mind. When she moved some he shot around to see if she'd woken, but she hadn't. Not long after that she called his name perfectly and he was finally hooked. He'd never be able to leave Bella now.

I had no chances left.

Hello all. Okay I have a question that I reallllly need an answer to...Do vampires bathe?
Okay thats my question also I'd like to know if theres anyway you all think I can improve my writing.
Sorry for the delay in uploads, I've been busy ; /
For all of those who are new to Julia and havent read her before story this is the link to my first fanfic. I'd love if you read and reviewed it.

http://www*fanfiction*.net*/s/4328729/1*/%3Cb%3EBreaking%3C_b%3E_*%3Cb%3EButterflies%3*C_b%3E

remove the *