Screaming

Some things, are just too impossible to understand. Like the reason we have time. It serves no real purpose but to dictate how we make our life run. Like the reason we have color. Like the reason I went back to Bella, even though Edward had placed in my mind to never go back to her.

But some things we need to live. Like the sun. It gives us warmth, it also helps us tell time. Like shades, to give distinct qualities to the colors we see therefore giving difference. Like love. The ability to give up what you want for the happiness of the one you crave, even though they may never return it.

Love was the reason I returned. Love was the reason Edward would not return. And love was the reason Bella could never leave Forks. Love was the driving force for all of our pain, we just didn't realize it then.

She was driving slowly when I returned. Making aimless turns and going around blocks more then three times. She wasn't paying any attention to what she was doing and it was obvious. I found myself nervous for Edward's sake. If anything were to happen to her, it would mean both of their lives.

I followed far away, she wouldn't see me this time. She finally stopped, but it wasn't in front of the Swan residence. I couldn't tell what she was looking at, whose house this was, was oblivious to me, but for some reason she stopped. When she got out of the car, she eyed the motorcycles that sat near the unpicked up trash. She couldn't have possibly have wanted them.

Not more then five minutes later, a boy from the household was helping her place the motorcycles into the back of her truck. My mouth almost dropped. This action was uncalled for, unneeded. It went against what she had promised Edward she'd do, be safe. She didn't seem to care though, her lips were slightly upturned as the metal slid on each other, as though she'd accomplished something important. I shook my head at her incompetence and disregard to the fact the motorcycles were being thrown away, meaning they didn't function correctly, as well as how much harm motorcycles are for the uncoordinated. Or better put, people named Bella Swan.

No matter how much I wanted to stop her, it was beyond my reach. This time I wouldn't let myself be seen. I couldn't damage her more. I continued to follow her, and was surprised again when she didn't go home. When I continued to follow, I also thought more about why she wouldn't go home with the bikes. Her dad was a cop. He'd most likely disapprove on the fact his uncoordinated daughter was seeking thrill rides on something she didn't even know how to control.

I stopped when Bella came to the line. I could not pass this line and now I was stuck. I sighed not knowing where she was going and not being able to make sure she was safe. It was then I saw it. Two brown eyes glaring at me with unimaginable force. It was terrifying. It was a wolf.

Turning my head to the side, I tried to look innocent in his eyes but I knew it was far beyond obtainable. He growled in distaste but I stood firm. I could not cross the line, neither could he. Besides, I'd done nothing wrong, I'd not killed or bitten. None of the Cullen's had.

After awhile, the wolf sat to rest but never stopped watching me. There was a feud between us. An ancient one. I didn't even have anything to do with it though. I mean, I was there when the treaty was signed. But I'd told Carlisle loads of times how stupid it was. We obviously didn't hurt people and it wasn't like we were really on their land in the first place. I followed along just to make Carlisle happy. I'd done that a lot back then.

After what seemed like hours, I saw the familiar red Chevy pickup making its way back from La Push to Forks. The wolf was still there and growled as I turned to follow. Ignoring the rudeness, I watched Bella's truck get a head start, then began the trip to her house.

The motorcycles were gone. She must have know someone down there that could help her fix them. But the funny thing was, and maybe it was just the lighting, but looking in from the window, I could see her expression had changed. It looked brighter and I wasn't the only one who'd seen it. Charlie had seen it too. He went over the phone and called someone named Billy and ranted about how happy she and he was.

But that night wasn't easy for Bella, and it was painful to hear her mattress springs creak in distaste as she tossed and turned. My phone began to vibrate in my pocket as I looked in her window from the tree.

"Hello?" I asked Alice, still creeping in the window.

"How's she doing?" she asked me, her voice filled with concern. It should be, she'd lost two of her best friends.

"She went down to the res today. She happier, but it didn't really help on the dreams." I heard her gasp and say Jake under her breath. "What does that mean to you?"

"Well nothing too important, it's not like there's wolves down there anymore."

There was a long pause. We both picked up on it. "What?" we both asked at the same time.

"You first." Alice beat me to it.

"There was a wolf there today. He was guarding the line. And he was big."

"Oh no. Oh no. Were there any others?" she asked in a rush.

"No just him. Are you trying to tell me they weren't here when you were?" I asked getting annoyed.

"No there weren't." she said upset now. She then proceeded to tell the rest of the family about the news.

"Why does my life always have to be so much more difficult." I complained, half hoping she'd hear and not hear at the same time.

"It's a lot harder on this end." she commented with pain. She then put the phone on speaker.

"Anyways, they should start forming." I started again. "Don't they usually activate each others genes?" I asked mainly to Carlisle, who'd known I was talking to him.

"Most likely." he started.

"Can't you just sneak into the res and look over her?" Emmett asked while Esme hit his back lightly in distaste.

"And have myself killed? I'm sure Edward would love that." I rolled my eyes and they all went silent again. Wrong choice of words I guess.

"Edward would never want you to get hurt Julia." Esme was the first one to begin talking again. She was still upset though. "None of us would. We missed you everyday, and we still miss you."

"I have a feeling you miss Bella more." my voice was faint as I looked into Bella's window. It would be so easy.

Why are you thinking of that?! Alice shot at me so no one else could hear.

"I don't know." I rubbed my arms, how could I think of that, or even decide it as her future.

"We miss you both equally." Esme looked around at everyone as she said this.

"I miss you more." Rosalie uncrossed her legs then got up and left.

I smiled, knowing how much Rose and I never really got along. I was ashamed that this was the only way we could get our relationship to grow. "And then everyone misses Edward." I sighed.

"We don't blame you." Alice commented quickly seeing the guilt in the future. "It's just hard, because you're the only one whose up there, and Edward doesn't even know."

Bella's bed creaked and my eyes flew up. Bella twisted in an unexplainable way, a way that seem to hurt. She did not disappoint either. Bella's scream echoed around her room. It ricochet off the walls and flew around my head. It also filled the Denali house from the speaker phone. It was a skin crawling, spine breaking scream. Then it got silent. Esme seemed to sniffle as she sank into Carlisle's chest. It hurt her too. It hurt everyone, this must have been how it was before.

"I'll talk to you soon okay." I lightened my voice then turned the phone off and continued to watch Bella's pain, knowing what I was doing was wrong, but right at the same time.

OMG YES FINALLY AN UPLOAD.

ok so im on new moon as you can tell, and its so hard to write. majorly hard. ive been writing this for 2 weeks now....yeah i have been putting it off. so i hope you like it and hopefully ill upload soon again.

btw way to go twilight cast for winning every categorie you were in. Yall are Queens.

AND THE TRAILER IS SO AMAZINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG i love it.