Caught
I looked at my piano for inspiration, but nothing came. We'd been home for about a week and the one thing that Jacob did right was get Bella grounded. It was nice to see Edward not drooling down her throat every second of the day.
I don't drool! He shot at me from his room.
Denial. But it was good to be home. The atmosphere, cold and rainy, seemed like a close personal friend. Then there was the whole coven, which were acting like nothing ever happened, that I never left and Edward never had his self loathing period. We were going to start redecorating next weekend, it just felt right. The door open and shut and Edward's worried voice caught me from my thoughts.
"Why are you on the floor?" he asked first thing. I was positioned with my legs out of the window and my face against the above window. My feet were getting wet and my pants were dripping from the constant rain.
"Actually, I'm more out the window than on the floor." I smiled as he sat on the piano bench. The first three notes of our song played. "What would you need?" I arched my eyebrow in question.
"Did you go to Italy?" his voice spoke silently.
My smile disappeared instantly. His question had caught me off guard and frozen my brain instantly. "No." I breathed. "Why would I go there?"
"Because…" he trailed off to what we both were thinking, him on a suicide mission in Volterra. "I thought I saw you there…"
"Are you sure you weren't just making it up?" I smiled lightly, faking it.
"I thought that too at first, I thought it was a way to come to terms with you. But I thought Bella wasn't real either. She was, I think you were too." he looked at me with his eyes ominously, trying to hide it. "You went to her too didn't you? Your scent is extremely strong in the tree by her room."
My jaw had to have dropped to the floor. I squeezed my eyes tightly and tried to wake up. This couldn't be real; we hadn't fought this whole time. His long arms wrapped around my small body tightly causing my eyes to shot open and look at him in shock.
"What are you doing?" I asked into his chest.
"Thanking you." he mumbled into my hair.
"Why? I didn't do anything. I didn't listen and I didn't protect her. She still almost died, I didn't get Victoria, and I couldn't even get through to you." I looked back out of the window. "I tried twice and failed both times. If it weren't for Bella, we'd both be dead."
"You did what you could. You did more than I did." he retracted and looked out the window as well. "Sorry."
"I should be apologizing to you." I laughed. "I went against your word, again."
"You never listen to me." he smirked. "I should learn, shouldn't I?"
"Yeah, you should." I thought of myself at Volterra and how I would have been had Aro done what he'd said he would.
Edward turned and stared at me bewildered. "You offered yourself?" he questioned like the idea was absurd. "Why would you do that?"
"I figured that a life without you was worse than knowing you were happy without me." my voice wept as I drew my legs into the window and tucked them into my chest.
There was a long pause. I guess we were both afraid to speak.
"A world with you being something you don't want to be because I messed up isn't right." he said lowly and angrily. I wondered if he was upset with me. "I'm upset at myself." he looked out of the window. "And I called you dangerous…" he muttered.
"I'd give up anything for you Edward. No matter what the cost, even if it meant you hating me forever. So would you. I understand why you left Bella more than anyone else could. It's hard not being the right kind of person the one you love needs."
It was silent again. We sat there a long time, not saying anything like we used to. The clock chimed six in what seemed to be a matter of minutes. We both had plans. He had Bella I had Alice.
"So, you're shopping tonight?" he asked helping me up.
"Yeah, you're going to play Charlie for a fool?" I smiled and looked at my wet pants and headed over for the closet.
"I'm not playing him for a fool!" he chuckled.
"Yeah right." I called out to him through the shut door and worked my way into a new pair of jeans. "You and Bella, both being accepted into U of A, like you'd ever want to go there." I rolled my eyes and came out of the closet.
He was lying on my bed. "Well she won't let me help her get into any good colleges." he chuckled and got up. "Besides we want to go to college together."
I rolled my eyes.
"What?" he questioned as we went down the steps.
"Nothing, nothing." I held my hands up to show innocence.
"Yay! You guys aren't fighting anymore." Alice said excitedly at the bottom of the stairs.
"We were fighting?" I asked Edward, who smiled in return.
"I don't know, were we?" he said playing along.
"I hate you both." she stormed to the kitchen.
I looked up at Edward then looked at the clock. "You should go; Bella's already suffering enough without you. If you're a minute late she may go into trauma." I smiled and looked at him then opened the door for him. "Bye Edward."
"Bye Julia."
I watched him leave with my head leaning against the door panel. After, I turned and made my way to the kitchen to find Alice sitting patiently on a stool. Her smile was bright and so were her thoughts.
"Excited are we?" I asked her, heading for the keys.
"Very, we haven't done this in forever." she got up and followed.
"It hasn't been that long really." I grinned and grabbed the Volvo's keys from the rack, her thoughts grumbled. "Something wrong?"
"Edward still owes me a Porsche." she huffed as we continued to the car. She was wearing dark blue jeans with faded wash stains tucked into knee-high heeled boots. Her white shirt was half covered with a purple vest that complemented the deep purple flowered scarf she wore as a head band in her hair. Her amber eye shined in the moon light. I, on the other hand, was wearing pink Chucks, black skinnies and a tee shirt that was from an extremely old concert. I was almost positive the band was dead.
I chucked and unlocked the car. "Don't worry he'll get it. You know he will." I passed the key to her after getting into the car. "So where exactly are we going?"
She smiled. "We're going graduation shopping." she added a wink.
"Tormenting Bella?" I smirked.
"It's one of the things I do best." she put the car in gear quickly and drove away from the house. "It's funny though. She like, doesn't want anything. She didn't even want a birthday party, and that was just with the family. She needs to open up more."
"So you're…"
"Inviting the whole graduation party. Yeah." her hands spun the wheel so were on the road.
"And you've run that by Carlisle. I mean, we usually don't show people our crypt." I looked at her, grinning while my hair fell to the side.
She slightly punch my arm. "Yes, I have." she shook her head playfully, like it was a fact I should have known. Which I did, of course.
It wasn't long before we pulled into the parking lot. The shopping consisted of outfits, which took about an hour and a couple thousand. Then we shopped for lights…lots of lights. Small lights, large lights, disco balls, platforms that lit up, the works. We got decorations, like streamers and ceiling hangers. Then we got the plates and napkins and plastic wear. The last thing we did was order the food, though we wouldn't be eating any of it. We stayed out until ten then headed home.
"Do you think everything will stay this way?" I asked her. I was driving this time and my hand were gripping the wheel tightly.
"Something buggin' you?" she continued to look out the front window.
"It's just, before everything seemed so stationary, now its all chaotic. It doesn't seem stable." my head shook with the words.
"You make your own future. I know that more than anyone." her smile returned. "The future changes, but that only if you want it to. Were all given more than one choice." she was looking at me now. Her hand lightly rested on my own. "I think things will be different, in good and bad ways. It'll make life more exciting, that's for sure."
I nodded slowly in agreement. I found I was thinking of Edward more than myself. It was right and wrong at the same time. He could take care of himself. He was as strong as I, maybe not as wise, but strong. He was in love. I wasn't, not like him, or anyone for that matter. In the whole aspect, I was alone and it hurt. There was a missing piece of my heart, and it felt like it would never be filled.