Not Hungry

I tried to be quiet while entering the house, I didn't want Carlisle to know we were back. Emmett had other plans. My skin crawled as he called for Carlisle and my eyes shot him a look of betrayal. He shrugged and gave me the 'it's only for your own good' look. I crossed my arms over my chest and looked out the kitchen window with a sour face. When Carlisle was close enough I stuck out the wounded arm and let him look at it.

"I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself. I have degrees too." I mumbled as he started to unwrap his torn sleeve from my arm.

"I know." he smiled knowing I felt a little undermined. One look at the wound and he knew, "you didn't eat anything did you?" he questioned looking from my arm to my face. I couldn't bring myself to answer him. "Julia, you know out of all people how serious this could be. Did you eat?" he asked again.

"No."

"Why didn't you?" he started to look at my arm again.

"I tried. I wasn't hungry, I'm not going to eat when I'm not hungry." it was a half lie. I didn't need everyone worrying about me. This was just a scratch. It would heal. I shook off Carlisle's hand and walk to the kitchen table and sat down. I placed my arm on the table and started to play with it, examining it.

"Julia. You need to eat. It will help you heal."

"I'm not hungry." I shrugged.

He groaned. "It doesn't matter if you're hungry or not. You have to eat."

Alice's head popped in the door. "Lets go hunting!" she called cheerfully to me and I exhaled.

"I'm not hungry." I repeated again. By now, almost everyone was in the kitchen and they were all looking at me.

"Please." she smiled. I took a deep breath, if someone said one more thing I was going to lose it.

"Julia," my teeth gritted. "You have to eat."

"I can't!" I yelled and slammed my fist on the table then grabbed my wound. "This damn thing is repelling me from blood. I tried to drink but I can't! Every time I try to swallow I regurgitate it. I simply can't hold it down, it makes me feel sick." I shook my head and lookedbv down at the ground. "It's like there was venom on his claw or something."

Carlisle was the first to start talking again. "That would seem to answer it." he commented lowly. "Sorry I harped so much."

"No it's fine. I just didn't really want everyone to know, but I guess it's better that way." I didn't want Carlisle to be upset with himself. He didn't know.

"We should put venom into them." Emmett said angrily. "It doesn't seem to fair."

"They're mutts, they never do anything fairly." I rolled my eyes.

"Bastards." he mumbled and walked away.

I sighed. Now that everyone knew it would be much harder to keep this from Edward which was what I was planning to do. He was on his was home and I knew now I would never be able to keep it from him until it healed.

I got up from the table and headed up the stairs. Jasper was standing in the middle looking at me. As I caught his eyes a rush of clam came over me.

"You'll be okay, right?" he said swiftly as I took in the calmness. It felt good.

"Yeah, I'm a trooper." I smiled and continued up the stairs. "Thanks Jasper, I needed the chill pill."

"We all do sometimes." he laughed and continued down.

When I reached Carlisle's study, I got the gauze and wrapped my mutated arm. The cut was not as deep and the pink flesh was starting to form. You could see the process taking place. It was disgusting. I went up stairs and sat at my vanity. The reflection showed me why everyone was worried. My eyes looked as though they'd been hallowed out, dark and sunken it. My hair was flat, it's curl slowly had fallen out. I looked somewhat thinner, my lips not as full. I looked tired and not whole, as though I were missing something.

"Hate." I groaned and went to the bed. My small body didn't sink into the sheets and mattress. It kindly sat on top of everything, like a snowflake on hard dead grass. There was no way possible I could hide anything from Edward. For the first time I realized I had no strength or will power.

My arms ached and my head pounded. My legs felt like metal and my eyelids felt as though they'd never open again. My body was finally feeling like dead weight, what it had been for the past 80 years.

I rolled to the side, so my eyes could face the window. Even though I couldn't sleep, I could at least imitate it. I didn't want to move anyways, I had nothing to do. I couldn't eat. All that was left was to stay as still as stone, something we'd all become quite good at.

The sun set behind the trees, the shadow grew strong against my eyes. There came a light tapping at the door. It was followed by the doors slow creaking.

"You still alive?" I heard him question, but I didn't answer. "Figures. I leave you for a weekend, worried you'd get hurt, but leave just because you promise otherwise. Then, when I get home," he paused, I took a peak at him. His figure was leaning on the bed post his back to me. "I find you deader than I left you."

I smiled and a small giggle turned into a rough cough.

"Oh. So you are alive?" Edward chuckled and turned around revealing his surprised face. "But, you don't seem to be the same as when I left. Your arm." he touched it lightly as he spoke in whispers. "I should have been here." he removed his hand and sat down.

"No." I mumbled. "Then I would have had to protect you as well." slowly, I pushed my body up. "Besides, its healing some. Its better than it was before." I clenched my fingers into a fist. "I'm sure I could take out a few wolfs if need be." I smirked to him then stood. "How is Bella?" I walked to the window and looked out. My hand left its print on the windows fog.

"She's fine, mad though. I had to tell her why I wanted her to go to Jacksonville."

"Ew, I suppose that would make her somewhat upset. But she should get over it, you were only trying to protect her." I looked at him and shrugged.

"She doesn't need protecting." he rolled his eyes.

Then she disappeared. We both looked at each other then went to Alice. She had gone to see the wolves.

"Sorry, but why do you like her again?" I questioned sarcastically. He only shook he head and grabbed his keys. Then he was gone. I thought about following him, but I figured there was something better to do. Alice looked at me as my future slowly followed Bella's.

"You aren't even healed." she looked from my face to my arm.

"I don't plan on fighting anyone. Just tracking."

"Okay." she sighed and I was off.

*hide sheepishly*
I'm sorry it took so long.
I have been writing it, it just took a longgggg time
Trust me...i hate it!
Hopefully more soon
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