Paper Cranes

When Rosalie left, I couldn't find myself to talk to Edward. He kept trying to talk to me through thought, which was only making me more upset. Soon I completely shut him out and went over to the window. I placed my fist on the glass and leaned on it. My eyes glazed over the trees and I cleared my head. It couldn't get much worse than this I figured.

I went to my piano, but could find no inspiration and the rain outside had stopped. I continued to my desk and found a pack of small origami papers. My eyes shifted to the blank ceiling overhead, then pack to the paper. I picked up the paper and sat on the carpet. The plastic crinkled in my hands as I tore it off quickly. There were multiple colors, a rainbow of assortments. In about 15 seconds, my hands had folded a paper crane.

Soon enough, I had over a hundred cranes. They sat positioned around me. I continued to fold as I sat cross legged on the ground. The birds were all different. Different patterns, different colors, different shades, different sizes. I was so into folding the papers, I didn't hear Edward knocking on the door, or his rude entering.

Edward sat next to me and didn't speak. He held a sewing needle in his right hand and gently started to puncture the birds in the middle of their backs so they would hang evenly from the ceiling. He'd seen my plan as I had thought it up and figured helping me would put us in good terms…he was wrong. I looked at him, but he didn't look back. It was as if we were four year olds again, neither of us talking, both to stubborn to apologize first. Finally, he started to talk, slowly mumbling like he was shy.

"I'm sorry." he stated bluntly.

"Doesn't change anything." I shrugged and looked back down at my hands. There was nothing else to say. Nothing else was truer than that. Him apologizing didn't change how he felt for Bella and it didn't change the situation we were in. That was it. We were still stuck in the same position as when we started.

"I'm not purposefully hurting you." he commented offensively. "I don't want to ruin our relationship and I don't want you to be alone either."

"I'm not going to wait around and be your back up for when Bella falls through. I'm not going to wait forever. It's simply not my style." I looked over to the window and saw the sky painted with grey. The color made the green of the trees darker but more defined. "And why should I deny Seth? He doesn't deserve to be hurt."

"Then why get his hopes up?" he finally looked up at me and the paper I was folding ripped in my hands.

"Don't you mean get my hopes up?" I emphasized my through gritted teeth. He didn't reply. But I knew that's what he meant and his silence only frustrated me more. "Perhaps you shouldn't get your hopes up." I shot at him and slowly watched his expression crumble.

"What do you mean by that?" he retorted.

"What if," I started, grabbing another piece of paper. "What if Bella decides she doesn't want to be a vampire, that she doesn't love you enough for that. That she'd rather have Jacob where she could remain human and stay with her family. What if she'd rather die old than be forever young?" I finished and took in his expression. He was looking at the ground, his body didn't move from its hunched over position. His eyes went soft and his voice was as low as a whisper.

"You act like I haven't thought of that…" he paused, as if he were collecting his thoughts. "I always think of that. It always reminds me of when you left. Then I have to stop thinking about it. Going through that again, with Bella, would be devastating." he looked up at me. My face held guilt and foolishness, I'd hurt him on purpose. "But I wouldn't stop her. Just like I didn't stop you. I know I could have came and carried you off and you would have come back with me. But I didn't want to force you to do anything you didn't want to."

We sat there, staring at each other in the silence. "Sorry," I mumbled breaking the bitter silence between us.

"I don't want you to apologize Julia." he continued puncturing the birds. "I want our relationship to be fixed like old times… When it was us. When we were friends and we weren't always fighting with each other."

I couldn't think of anything smart to retaliate back with so I just nodded. "Me too."

It was dark as we were riding up in the Mercedes. My body sat positioned behind the steering wheel. We, Alice and I, were coming back from Bella's house. Her stuff rested in the back seat, ready for her arrival tomorrow. I wouldn't have come, but I hadn't drive Carlisle's car in awhile and I wanted to make sure I still had my excellent control.

"Please stay for the sleepover," she pleaded…again. This was the tenth time.

"No." I repeated bluntly, once more. My hands turned the wheel gently, with grace as we pulled into the drive.

"Why not?" she whined.

I sighed as the car came slowly to a stop. I pushed the emergency break in. "Because," I turned and looked at her, placing my hand on Bella's bag, "I don't want to. And I finally have a appetite. I want to hunt, real food, not wimpy deer blood."

"Can't you just wait?" I pulled the bag to the front and looked out the front windshield. "You can take a trip with the girls." she smiled.

"No." I turned and got out of the car. I swung the bag over my shoulder and started for the house. In the background I could hear her huff and stomp out of the car. It was followed by the passenger door slamming. Of course she wouldn't be happy with just the Porsche.

"Ayeeeee Julia!" Emmett called out to me as I enter the side door. I nodded to him and tossed Bella's bags to Edward with a smirk.

"Alice?" he asked me.

"Sulking." I confirmed.

He nodded, knowing how she was. Sure enough, right after that, Alice came in glaring and slamming the door fiercely behind her small body. She continued sulking up the stairs. He followed her, then continued to his room.

"How are you feeling Julia?" Carlisle questioned as he entered pulling his sleeves down.

"Great," I smiled and displayed my arm. There were no indents, just four slashes that weren't as pale as the rest of my skin, almost as if that one part of my body were still human. "I think it makes me look tougher." I speculated, looking at it with pride.

"It took long enough to heal." he took it in his hands and started to examine it. "Hopefully the coloring will go back though."

I shrugged. "Doesn't really bother me."

"It probably made your arm weaker." Emmett chuckled deeply.

"Maybe you stand a chance now." I smiled and started over to the stairs.

"Oh come on Julia, like you could ever beat me." he smiled.

I rolled my eyes and turned at the foot of the steps so I could look him in the eyes. "Please Emmett, you fall at my hand every time. Don't even try to deny it."

I went upstairs and instead of going to my room, I took a detour to Edward's across the hall. He was staring at the large bed and determining if he had put it in the right spot.

"Why does it even matter?" I questioned jumping onto it and laying down. I sunk into the over soft gold comforter. I had such perfect taste. "It's not like she's going to like it either way."

He looked at me with frustration. "Stop saying that." he demanded and placed her bags neatly at the end of the bed. "You're giving me false hopes."

"I told you not to buy it." I stared at his ceiling. "But it is comfortable. She'll end up using it," I paused, "if you give her the right persuasion." I smirked and his hands pulled my ankles and somewhat yanked me off the bed. Before I fell to the ground he grabbed my wrists and held me up.

"If you aren't going to be nice, you can go lay on your own bed." he whispered in my face.

I stuck my tongue out at him as he let go. "You should be more careful with me. I'm weak remember."

"Don't try to play that with me. I know you can still hold your own." he straightened the sheets with a slight tug. I continued to my room.

The ceiling was now covered in origami cranes, giving the room a more artistic feel, as if it really needed anymore. My bag of cloths rested on my bed, it's white sheets almost illuminating off the gray outcast from outside. I went over to my mirror and looked at my reflection. My hair hung loosely around my head, a headband pulling back my bangs and the other hairs that wanted to make their way about my face. I was wearing capri-leggings and a long shirt. It wasn't proper hunting attire.

Swiftly, I moved over to the closet and picked out some capri-sweatpants and a white cami. The fit was perfect. Edward had already gone downstairs by the time I put on a hoodie. He was asking Carlisle if I should stay, if it would help for mine and Bella's relationship any. His reply was that it probably wouldn't because we really didn't know each other. Grabbing my bag, I went down and headed for the back door. As I passed the boys, who were clumped on the counter I nodded and said lets go.

"Is that what you're wearing?" Emmett asked as he hopped of the counter and grabbed his things.

"I don't get dressed up to eat." I told his as I waited by the jeep. He popped the trunk and tossed my bag in. We piled in, Carlisle sat in the front with Emmett in the drivers seat, which left me, Edward, and Jasper in the back. I sat between them, our hips barely touching.

We listened to annoying pop music the whole way. It was the reason why I had sat in the middle. The spot made reaching up to change the station far to easy. It was the radio station that repeated the same songs every hour, Edward hated it.

Why are you doing this? he asked me painfully in our heads.

You know I'm a masochist. Plus, I don't like it when you talk behind my back. And look, I nodded to Emmett who was now lip singing the Britney Spears song. He's enjoying it. Edward groaned and sunk into his seat.

The ride seemed longer than it usually did, the best explanation for that was because I was so anxious. What if I really couldn't eat now, if I couldn't hold down blood like I thought I could? And if that were the case, I'd still be hungry. Worse than I already was now.

"How much longer?" I whined, holding the r for an unreasonable amount of time.

"Oh, no." Edward moaned. "Julia's reverting back to her terrible twos." My head snapped to his face and my eyes stared him down. Quickly, my fist punched him sharply in the leg. His hands held the area as he grinded his teeth and glared back at me.

"Calm down you two." Carlisle instructed. Almost instantly, Jasper sent a heavy sheet of mellow over us. "We're almost there."

As the car came to a stop, I practically leapt over Edward's lap and out the car door. He would move slow just to irritate me. Once out, I took a deep breath in through my nostrils, only to remember I couldn't smell. I stepped out of my shoes and dug my toes into the dirt. It was cold and moist. Perfect.

"Excited?" Edward questioned as he continued out of the car and to my side. I nodded yes while looking around for a trail to follow. All the colors spoke to me. My own personal hunting map. Then I found the most delicious color.

Mountain lion.

Carlisle quickly told us what time we were to meet back at the jeep. As he finished, I took off. My body stepped on the path, following it like a hiking trail. Edward quickly came up behind me, he knew I was heading for his favorite. He didn't pass me though, he could have because I wasn't as fast as I usually was. His mind told me he didn't want to make me feel bad. It was sweet. It was as if I had my own Edward back, how we used to hunt together. When it was just us.

We stopped outside of the mountain lions den. Inside there were three cubs and one mother, the sight of her made my mouth water. I knew instantly I'd be able to hold her blood down.

"I call the mother." I told Edward while smirking as the mothers ears perked.

It was dinner time.