-Twenty-Five Days-
A Psychonauts Christmas Fanfic by Digitaldreamer
Day Twelve: The Shopping Trip of Horrible Doom
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Another day, another drabble. This one's actually one of my favorites, it even amused my beta reader, and she's nearly impossible to amuse. Oh! We also finally hit fifty reviews! Thanks a lot for all your kind words they mean a lot to me. As long as I know you guys are enjoying this, it's good enough a reason to keep going.
Right so...I hope you all enjoy this chapter.
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And so it came to pass that December was flying by like El Odio in the streets of Blackvelvetopia, and Christmas shopping needed to get done. Thus, Raz, Lili, Sasha and Milla chose a Saturday to head to the mall, each with but one thing in mind: "Oh God I need to get people stuff out of social obligation, ahhh!"
Although, you know, there may have actually been the thought of friendly gestures and that thing some people call "love" too, but I digress.
The moment the four psychics arrived at the mall, they split up. Milla and Lili went one way, while Sasha and Raz went the other.
"So...secret santas?" Raz said as he walked, holding a crumpled piece of paper before him.
"It was that woman's idea. Not mine." Sasha muttered as he lit a cigarette.
Raz blinked. "Seriously? Wow...she's actually capable of a semi not-bad idea?"
"Don't say that, Razputin." Sasha hissed out of the corner of his mouth. "She may be watching."
The goggle-headed boy winced. "Oh yeah...right." He muttered, glancing warily over his shoulder. "It's like 'Big Brother', but creepier."
"If she had some sort of secret police everywhere, I would not be surprised." Sasha mumbled.
Raz nodded. "Yeah...well, even so, this isn't so bad. I got Lili...who did you get?" He asked as he glanced over his slip of paper again.
"Agent Shive." Sasha said simply. "Though I need to find something for Milla as well..."
Raz quirked a brow at this. "She still mad over the 'Lamp' incident?" He asked, quirking a small grin.
"You have no idea." The German Psychonaut muttered darkly, shoving his hands into his pockets.
"Well, at least finding something for her should be easy enough, right? I mean, you've been partners for like, ever." Raz said, glancing up at his companion.
"Fifteen years." Sasha said. "Not that that seems to help when it comes to that lamp..."
"Right. You should know her well enough, finding something for her should be easy." Raz said with a shrug. "Lili on the other hand...man, that's gonna be tough. I mean...what does she even like? I know she likes flowers...and cute things...and that's about it."
"Perhaps some jewelery?" Sasha suggested dully. "Although what would actually be in your price range, she probably wouldn't like..."
Raz groaned. "This is gonna be tougher than I thought..." He muttered, running a hand through his hair.
Sasha sighed. "Ach, women." He muttered, shaking his head.
"Amen to that." Raz agreed.
The two walked along for a moment before Sasha slowed down, frowning. "Hm...perhaps I will take a look in here." He said as he glanced over the displays for a certain shop.
"Oooh, cool!" Raz said, eyes wide. "That stuff is..." He then trailed off, face falling. "The kind of stuff I would like, not Lili."
Sasha patted him lightly on the shoulder. "Are you coming with me, or would you prefer to stay here?"
"I'll stay here." Raz sighed. Sasha nodded, then walked off. The goggle-headed boy watched Sasha leave, then sat down on a bench, putting his face in his hands. "Jeez...this really is harder than I thought..."
Meanwhile, Lili and Milla were making their way through various stores, glancing over this and that.
"Hmmm, what do you think, dear?" Milla asked, holding up a pair of sunglasses.
Lili rolled her eyes. "It looks exactly like his usual pair, Milla."
"Really?" Milla frowned, glancing over the sunglasses. "I could have sworn the lenses were at least a different shade..."
"No, it's the same." Lili sighed.
Milla cocked her head to the side as she glanced over the sunglasses. "Huh." She then placed them back on the rack, shaking her head. "Ah well, I'll find something eventually, Sasha's hard to buy for but not impossible. What about you, dear?"
"Me?" Lili asked, glancing up from where she had been observing a snowglobe in a bored fashion.
"Well, aren't you getting Razputin anything?" The woman asked, putting her hands on her hips.
"Oh...yeah...not like I have a choice, I got him for the secret santa thing." Lili grumbled, folding her arms. "I don't see the point, no one ever actually uses a Christmas present. They just get it, smile politely and say thanks, then shove it under the bed and forget about it."
Milla frowned. "Oh, come on now darling, that's not true. Well, okay, it may be with some gifts, but when you get a real gift that comes from the heart--"
"Save it." Lili muttered, rolling her eyes. "I get enough from all the damn TV specials."
The Brazilian Psychonaut let out a long sigh. "Lili, darling, I know after--"
"Oh my God!" Lili suddenly cut her off, eyes widening.
Milla blinked in confusion. "Sweetie, I was just--"
"No, look!" Lili pointed to the back of the store, where a great display had been set depicting several cardboard cutouts of the more famous agents from True Psychic Tales. And there, set within it, was a shining, perfect, first edition copy of Issue #25. "Oh my God...Issue 25...you can't get that ANYWHERE, not even on Ebay!" The brunette stuttered. "And it's autographed! And...ON SALE!"
"Oh my..." Milla murmured, her hand going to her mouth.
Lili gaped at it in shock for a moment. Then she shut it. "It's perfect!"
Milla frowned. "I'm not sure...it's rather...expensive..."
"Milla, I'm the daughter of the Grand Head of the Psychonauts."
"True enough."
Lili nodded. "Right, I'm going to--" She was then cut off as a middle-aged, rather hefty woman shuffled past, making a beeline for the display.
Lili's eyes narrowed and she scowled, catching up with the woman in several strides. She wasn't going to let this old hag steal Raz's present!
The woman glanced at Lili, and her eyes narrowed as she began to pick up her pace. Lili's eyes narrowed as well and she began to pick up her pace. The woman responded by going even faster, so Lili ended up going even faster than that by breaking into a jog. Upon seeing this, the woman broke into a run, Lili following suit.
The two raced down the aisle, knocking aside last minute shoppers and nearly breaking a few displays, both going as fast as they could.
Lili was pulling ahead, she reached for the comic…
And the woman suddenly shoved her away. Lili let out a cry, kicking out her leg and knocking away her opponent. Both the brunette and the lady slammed into the wall, causing the comic to shake in the display.
Lili growled, getting to her feet and glaring at the lady, whom was rising as well. The two glared at each other for a minute, neither moving. Finally Lili reached for the comic, as did the lady, each grabbing one corner of the sleeve.
"I saw it first." Lili snarled, fixing a glare upon the woman that was known to cause trained government agents to pee their pants.
The woman simply sneered back. "No, I believe I did. You can't have it, little girl, this is for my son."
"Yeah, well it's for my boyfriend."
"Too bad, you can't have it."
"It's mine! I got here first"
"No, it's mine!"
The woman scowled, tugging on the comic. Lili let out a growl and tugged back.
"Give it!"
"Sorry little girl, but I'm afraid I can't do that!"
"Then you leave me no choice..."
Raz and Sasha were now once again wandering through the mall, Sasha with one or two bags and Raz carrying one as well. "Darnit." The ten-year old muttered. "I've found everything but something for Lili..."
"Ah, don't worry." Sasha said, attempting to be comforting. "If all else fails, you can give Miss Zanotto a gift card!"
Raz snorted. "I think I'd rather spare myself the pain of having her shove it into my eye socket." He said.
Sasha chuckled shaking his head. "Again, do not worry. I'm sure you..." He then trailed off, brow furrowing. "Why is there a crowd gathered around that shop?"
"Huh?" Raz blinking, frowning. "Good question...think we should check it out?"
"Of course."
With that, the two Psychonauts made their way into the crowd.
"FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!"
"Damn, she must really want that thing!"
"Who do you think is going to win?"
"My bet's on the little girl."
"I dunno man, that lady looks pretty tough with her purse."
"Hey, is her hair smoking?"
"Ah, excuse me?" Sasha asked, tapping one man on the shoulder. "Can you tell us what is going on here?"
"Huh?" The man blinked, then shrugged and jerked a thumb towards the store. "Oh, that? Some little girl went psycho and attacked some lady over some gift. Guess it's rare or something."
It was then that a blur of pink suddenly rushed through the parted crowd, cackling something along the lines of "IT'S MINE, DAMNIT!" The blur was followed by a screaming middle-aged woman, whom the cashier was restraining as she tried to explain that the other girl had paid for the gift.
Both Raz and Sasha blinked, then glanced at each other.
"Was that..."
"...Lili?"
Silence for a few moments. Then both chuckled and shook their heads. "Nah, that's dumb." Raz said, running a hand through his hair. "Jeez, who'd be crazy enough to fight someone over a Christmas present?"
"'Tis the season." Sasha said with a small chuckle.
Raz snorted. "Right. Come on, we've still got time before we meet up with the girls, let's keep looking."
"Agreed."
With that, the two continued their way through the mall.
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To Be Continued...