-Twenty-Five Days-

A Psychonauts Christmas Fic by Digitaldreamer

Day Fourteen: The Cold Shoulder
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Right, so I was less sick today, but exhausted none the less. Man this fic is tiring...I may have to call off next weeks CP update too, just to keep up with this and get the various other fics and pictures I need to do for the holidays done.

Good news is I'm so busy I don't have time to spiral into my usual bouts of depression...of course I'm also so tired I get dizzy taking five steps...oh well.

Onward!

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Truman Zanotto was a very busy man. As the Head of the Psychonauts, he certainly had quite a big job. Most of his days were spent glancing over case files, listening to people yell at him over the phone, and watching annoyed agents come stomping into his office to demand to know why he had just assigned them some random case in Brazil.

Thus, when his door burst open, Zanotto was hardly surprised, nor was he motivated to look up from the paperwork in his hands. "Yes, yes, I'm rather busy now," He muttered without glancing up. "If you could just--"

"Dad, we need to talk."

Truman let out a sigh. "Lili, I'm--"

"Truman, darling, I don't think you understood that. We need to talk." A long-fingered, gloved hand reached out to push the papers out of the way, revealing to Truman the angered faces of his assigned Holiday Committee.

Truman blinked, then gave a small, nervous chuckle. "Ah, it's...you guys. Uh...how's the decorating coming?"

Lili scowled, putting her hands on her hips. "Um, not too well, no thanks to Tessie."

Her father blinked in confusion. "What's wrong with Tessie?"

"What's wrong!? SHE'S INSANE!" Raz exclaimed.

Truman's brow furrowed. "Razputin, that's how the general public would describe most of the agency, and I will not have you--"

"Truman, darling, he's telling the truth." Milla said, cutting him off.

"Her plans are ridiculous! She wants us to have the kind of decorations that would make the elves at the North Pole jealous!" Raz cried.

"She put me in an elf costume!" Lili cried.

"Yes, have you seen her plans for the lights display!?" Milla exclaimed.

At the mention of the lights, Sasha twitched.

"Yeah, she got Sasha deep-fried!" Raz exclaimed.

"An elf costume!" Lili repeated.

"She completely ruined the kitchen!" Milla continued.

"Well actually, I did that..." Raz pointed out.

"Relax, darling, it wasn't your fault." Milla said gently.

"And it was green and red with little bells..." Lili continued to rant.

"I would like to point out that with all this work that woman has piled on us, she has not helped!" Sasha exclaimed.

"Yeah, that's right! She hasn't lifted a finger while we've been slaving away!" Raz cried indignantly.

"Yes, and she always has that...disturbing smile on her face." Sasha shuddered.

"Oh, don't forget the 'Christmas Cheer™', now!" Raz sneered.

Milla shuddered.

"A GODDAMN ELF COSTUME!" Lili shrieked.

"She's creepy!" Raz yelled.

"Amen to that!" Milla agreed.

"And above all else, the oddest thing of all..." Sasha began.

"DOES SHE EVEN HAVE A LAST NAME!?" They all screamed at once.

Silence.

Truman sat at his desk, his hair blown back from the wind of his agents complaints. He then shook his head, smoothing it out. "Huh...wow. I didn't realize she was actually that bad...I was just busy and needed someone to do the decorations. She volunteered..." He then paused, frowning thoughtfully. "Funny, I don't think I know her last name either...that's odd."

He let out a sigh, running a hand through his thinning hair. He was getting far too old for this. "I'm sorry guys, I didn't know she'd be like that. How can I make it up to you?"

The four psychics all glanced at each other, then smiled.

---

"One, two, three...HEAVE!"

Tessie landed in a small helicopter with a heavy thud, her arms and legs bound by strands of shimmering tinsel. "W-what!? What's going on!?" She cried, her green eyes frantic as she glanced around.

"Oh, well, since the decorating is finally done and you did such a wonderful job, we figured we'd send you on a little vacation!" Raz explained, his hair whipping back from his face as the chopper whirred to life.

"Yeah, we heard Antarctica's really nice around this time of year!" Lili said with an evil grin.

Tessie's eyes widened. "What!? ANTARCTICA!? But...but...this is so not Christmas Cheer™ !"

"Oh, we know. That's why we've converted to Judaism." Sasha drawled sarcastically.

"WHAT!?"

"Yes, well, you know, darling. Eight days instead of one and all, eight smaller fire hazards instead of one big one...you understand, right?" Milla said, flashing a winning smile.

Raz snorted. "Yeah, we were going to convert to...er...Kwanzanissm--"

"Kwanza is a Pan-African holiday, Razputin." Sasha corrected.

"Whatever. The point is we would do that, but they only do seven days, so...well, you know." Raz shrugged.

"But...but...you're supposed to celebrate Christmas!" Tessie sputtered.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever lady. You can spread your 'Christmas Cheer™ ' or whatever to the penguins." Lili snorted. With that, she nodded, waved to the helicopter pilot, and the four psychics stepped back.

Tessie let out a shriek, bucking and kicking in a desperate attempt to get loose. "But...but...this isn't right! I'm supposed to spread Christmas Cheer™ ! CHRISTMAS CHEER™ !"

"That's nice, Tessie, if that is your real name." Raz said with a grin, giving a cheery wave that the other psychics joined in on. "Have fun in Antarctica! See you...oh, in about six months, if you survive."

With that, the helicopter rose into the air, Tessie's enraged shrieks only just heard over the whirring of the blades.

"YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME! I'LL BE BACK! I'LL BE BACK!" She screamed. "DO YOU HEAR ME!? I'LL BE BAAAAAACK!"

"Good-bye, lady!" Lili called back.

"Have fun, darling!" Milla said in a sing-song voice.

"Good luck with the subzero temperatures!" Sasha added.

Raz's grin widened. "And remember..."

"CHRISTMAS CHEER™ " They all shouted as one.

With that, Tessie was born away to the land of ice and snow, never to be heard from again.

...Or so we hope.

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To Be Continued...