-Twenty-Five Days-

A Psychonauts Christmas Fanfic by Digitaldreamer

Day Sixteen: The Great Snow War

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Well, that whole "two updates today" thing didn't go quite as planned...I'm sorry guys, I'll try to catch up. There will be twenty-five chapters of this thing once I'm done, mark my words!

Right, so...I apologize for any mistakes this chapter, my beta reader is nowhere to be found...I think she may have gotten Twilight Princess, so I can't be too hard on her, though. Even so...right, I apologize in advance.

Onward!

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"Wow, I can't believe how much easier that job was without Tessie." Raz commented as he pulled on his jacket.

"I can." Lili muttered darkly as she pulled on her own.

Milla let out a light, airy laugh. "Well, at least the job is done, hm? The entire agency is decorated and ready for the Christmas Party on the Eighteenth."

Raz blinked in confusion. "There's a party on the eighteenth?"

"Yes darling, didn't you know?" Milla asked, cocking her head to the side. "That's when everyone's doing the secret santa exchange as well."

"The Secret Santa exchange!?" Raz sputtered, his eyes widening in horror.

"Yes, darling. Should be fun, hm?" The Brazilian asked with a smile.

"Um...yeah...sure..." Raz said, giving a nervous laugh.

Sasha frowned as he pulled on his scarf. "Razputin...have you found anything for Miss Zanotto yet?" He asked telepathically, casting the goggle-headed boy a meaningful look.

Raz winced. "No," He replied. "I've been so busy and...I just haven't found the right thing yet."

"Ah..." Sasha glanced over at Lili, brow furrowing. This was certainly turning out to be a bit of a mess...

"Well, looks like we finally have a weekend to relax! It's about time!" Milla said with a content sigh as the four psychics made their way out of the agency.

Lili scowled, rolling her eyes. "Oh joy, two days spent in that big, empty house. Whoo hoo."

Raz blinked in confusion. "You're there all by yourself? Even on weekends?"

"On weekends?" Lili snorted. "I'm lucky if he gets out of this building once every three months." She said as she pushed out the door.

"Oh..."The goggle-headed boy winced as he followed Lili out the door and into the parking lot. "Well, what about your mom?"

Lili visibly tensed. "My mom..." A far-away look came to her eyes, her expression darkening. "...That's none of your business."

Milla and Sasha shot each other concerned glances. Milla then opened her mouth to speak. "Lili--"

Raz cut her off. "Huh? What do you--" His inquiry was interrupted, however, when a large, white snowball suddenly came whizzing out of nowhere to strike him in the face.

At the sound of the loud WHAP Lili spun around, blinking in confusion. Raz looked just as baffled as he stood there, covered in snow. Milla and Sasha stared.

Then Lili started laughing. Very, very hard. "You look so...so...STUPID!" She giggled as she pointed at Raz's shocked face. "Ahahahaha--"

WHAP!

Lili blinked in shock as snow slid down her face.

Raz burst into laughter, doubling over and holding his sides. Milla blinked for a moment, then started giggling as well. Even Sasha had to crack a smile.

"Don't worry dear, you still look fabulous." Milla said between giggles.

WHAP!

Milla stumbled back, covered in snow.

"Okay, where the hell are these things coming from!?" Raz asked as he glanced around, brow furrowing.

WHAP!

"Over here, losers!" A loud, heavily-lisped voice cried out.

Raz blinked, glancing over to see a certain red 'fro and two very, very large ears. "Bobby!? Benny!?" He sputtered.

WHAP!

"Yes. Ow." Sasha grunted as he brushed some snow off of his jacket and glared towards the culprits.

"Sorry, Agent Nein!" Kitty and Franke giggled.

WHAP!

"Eep!" Milla laughed, shielding her face.

"Nils!" Elka screamed before ducking behind a car, dragging a drooling Nils (whom had been aiming for poor Milla's chest) by the ear as she did so.

WHAP!

"ACK!" Lili yelped, stumbling forward. "Milka! How could you!?" She cried as her assailant became visible.

Elton flashed a shy grin as he prepared another snowball. "Sorry, Lili!"

"Hey!" Raz cried as he dodged several shots. "Maloof! Mikhail! What are you two doing here!?"

"To put it simply, Razputin, I believe we all received your invitations." Maloof said simply.

"Yes, even in Russia. Goggle boy seen any hairless bears here in New York?" Mikhail asked as he hefted up another snowball.

"Invitations!?" Raz yelped as he was struck by another snowball in the back. "What invitations!?"

"Well, I got mine last week. Says we were all invited to spend the holidays here, eh?" Chops called out as he chucked another snowball at Raz.

"Good shootin', partner." JT complimented his buddy.

"I do not remember this. At all." Sasha muttered as he half-heartedly dodged snowballs.

"You don't? Aw, it's a great story." Vernon spoke up. "Want to hear it?"

"NO!" Everyone shouted.

"Well, anyway, we figured hanging out here for the holidays would be totally dope, you know?" Quentin said.

"Yeah! Lots of...roasting of chestnuts over an open fire and everything." Phoebe added with a dangerous grin.

"This is how we celebrate this...Christmas, then?" Chloe blinked in confusion. "You humans are so strange..."

"Whoo, Christmas!" Clem cheered, so excited that he really was doing little to actually contribute to the attack of the agents.

"Well...this is certainly...unexpected." Sasha said slowly before being hit in the back of the head with a snowball.

"Sounds like the work of Tessie." Lili muttered.

"Likely-- ACK!" Milla yelped as she was hit yet again.

"Well, we're all here now...I hope you don't mind."

The four psychics spun around to see Dogen standing there, hands behind his back.

"...How did you get there?" Sasha asked, quirking an eyebrow.

"Dogen! How dare you help the enemy!?" Elka cried.

"Get the traitor!" Nils cried.

A hail of snowballs rained down on the five, causing them all to yell and shield their heads.

"Why, sweetie, of course it's fine!" Milla said quickly.

"Yeah, sure! We're glad you're all here!" Raz added.

"GAH, STOP SHOOTING!" Lili screeched. Her yelling only seemed to encourage their attackers, however.

"I...do not think they will be stopping any time soon." Sasha drawled.

"Only one thing to do, then..." Raz grinned, then quite suddenly grabbed everyone and ducked behind Milla's car. "Fight back!"

"What!?" Sasha sputtered.

"What?" Dogen repeated, blinking in confusion.

Milla blinked, let out a small giggle. "I suppose you're right..."

"This is stupid." Lili scowled, crossing her arms. "I'm not--" She was cut off by a snowball hitting her in the back of the head. She then twitched, reaching back to wipe it off. "Alright, that's it! ATTACK!" She snarled, using telekinesis to gather up several snow balls at once and fling them.

And so the Great Snow War began.

From the start, Raz, Lili, Sasha, Milla, and Dogen were greatly outnumbered. It didn't help that their opponent's battle cry was something along the lines of "TODAY IS A GOOD DAY FOR SOMEONE ELSE TO DIE!" or "REMEMBER THE ALAMO!" depending on who was talking. But even so, they fought back valiantly.

Thus, the war was long and hard...

WHAP!

"Gah! Bobby!" Raz snarled as he was hit in the face for what seemed like the millionth time.

"Nah nah nah!" Bobby sneered, sticking out his tongue.

The harsh, frigid winter weather would have no quarter given...

"Teehee...snowflakes..." Clem giggled after being hit in the head one too many times.

There were terrible losses on both sides...

"NOOOOOO! THESE JEANS ARE DRY CLEAN ONLY!" Kitty sobbed.

The warriors fought long and hard...

WHAP!

"I'm on your side, you psycho!" Chops cried.

"Oh, sorry." Elka giggled.

And in the end...

"Ha! We did it!" Raz panted, his breath coming out in short puffs, sweat causing his matted hair to cling to his forehead. "We fended them off! We won!"

"Nuh uh!" Bobby cried out. "We won, dorkface!"

It was a tie.

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To Be Continued...

For those of you wondering where Crystal was...just wait, you'll see.