Maximum Ride: Finding Myself, Chapter 5
Crack! Dylan head flipped sideways with a loud sound. Ouch. Iggy stopped, slightly breathing hard, and tried to listen for Dylan breathing. Yes, I let the blind kid fight first, 'cause I wanted to see how good Dylan was with no immediate danger or adrenaline in his body. 'Cause I'm nice like that. If you read between the lines right there, that meant, "Sorry Iggy! Don't be offended!"
Iggy found Dylan, which I could have done, he was breathing that hard. Dylan was sitting up, which was a good sign, meaning nothing was broken.' Cause the last thing we need is medical people swarming the area.
"You OK?" I asked offering my hand to him. He nodded, wiping his bloody nose on his sleeve before taking my hand.
"Angel?" I called her. Her blond head bobbed up in the sunlight, looking at me. "How 'bout you have a go?"
Dylan groaned." Thanks, Max. Way to boost my self-esteem, by getting beat up by a seven-year old."
I shook my head, trying in vain to hide a smile. "Then fight dude!" Iggy said. "You're as about as exciting as a sack of potatoes."
Ok, I was trying to be Miss Tender for Others Feelings, but Iggy had hit the nail on the head. Dylan was about as fast as your average slug, and had as much will to fight as I had to sing.
And I don't sing. At all.
Inwardly groaning, I watched as Dylan and Angel set up to fight.
"ON your mark, GET set, GOOOO!" Nudge screamed and stepped out of the way.
I won't bore you with all the details, but here is a rough sketch of what happened.
Angel's fist slammed into his head. Angel's knee went in his stomach. Angel's foot kicked between his legs. He staggered and bent down, allowing Angel to scissor-kick his neck. He went down, and she stood, winner, hair flying away in the wind like a movie scene.
"CUT!" Gazzy yelled. "This isn't a movie, Gazzy." I told him, mentally wishing I just hadn't had an extremely funny thought. I mean, if this was a movie, it'd be reversed. Wouldn't it?
But ya had to hand it to the poor sap; he didn't give up until he was down. Perseverance goes a long way with me, if you're in my Good Book. Which I couldn't tell with him just yet.
I mean he had worked for a psycho-path. Dr. Gummy Hanz, the guy whose pic you'd see if you looked up: The-most-moronic-idiot-and-guy-who-will-destroy-the-earth in the dictionary.
No, I'm not sure that's really in there, but it should be. And his real name was Dr. Gunther Hagen, bit I like the first one better. Let me tell that guy once and for all: there's a reason body parts are inside you, rather than on the outside. Sicko.
The grunts of Angel trying to sweetly help Dylan up brought me back to the real world.
Absentmindedly I reached out my hand and he took it. Pulling him up took all my strength, with Angel helping.
Man! He needed to go on a diet! He weighed as much as a grown man.
I guess he got skipped in the lightweight genes.
Up, he looked me straight in the eyes, and told me the worst thing he ever could have thought of in his life.
4 words.
" I wanna fight you."
Iggy and Gazzy stopped rolling around in the grass, and Nudge looked up from gathering strawberries in surprise. "You... Wanna... Fight... Max!" was predictably her first reply.
"Are you bonkers?"
"Dude, do you have anything valuable?" The Gasman asked him.
"Valuable as in...?" Dylan prompted him.
"Valuable as in something you want to give someone to remember you by." Iggy told him. "'Cause there isn't gonna be nothing' left of you but a bag-o'-bones.
Dylan visibly paled at that, and I tried to keep my guts inside me by not laughing.
Finally I could help it, and choked out," I'll be right back."
Half running, half flying with my wings spread wide I had to get out of there. On the top of the hill I fell over laughing like a maniac, and rolled down the other side, I couldn't help it.
Literally.
If I had an Indian name, it would be this: The-One-Who-Laughes-Incontrollaby-And-Can't-Help-Herself.
Or something like that.
Wheezing I sat up, just to fall over in another fit of giggles. See what stress does to you? It turns you into a sleep and sensible deprived goofball of the millennium. Or longer.
Did I mention how I couldn't stop laughing?
It was all so hilarious, and I finally sat up and wiped the tears from my eyes.
Standing me wobbled and laughed, before flying back up the hill and back to my Flock. I landed with out falling over and busting a gut, so points to me.
"What was that about?" asked Gazzy. "Nothing," I mumbled trying to get my emotions under control.
Turning to Dylan, I set up to fight. He returned the gesture, feet and hands ready for the ultimate smack down. With him going down.
This isn't going to end well for him.