A/N: This fanfic is set sometime between the Invasion of Konoha and Sasuke Retrieval story arcs. It is a work of fanfiction and has nothing official to do with the licensed version of this anime and manga in any way whatsoever.
I must give many thanks to my wonderful friend Twilaa-chan, who offered to beta this chapter so I could post it at last. Everyone, sorry for the wait!
Distracting and a Great Bother
(part five)
The impact of that tiny smile blindsided me, as if it had snuck up behind me and caught me in an inescapable shinobi embrace. That slight expression--the curve of his lips, the barest crinkling of his eyes--held me mesmerized. Even though I had only been in his presence for a mere hour, I knew that a smile from Ai-kun was something amazing.
But I couldn't decide what it meant. Is Ai-kun welcoming my help? Is he calling my bluff? Or is it something else completely? I realized my mind was too shaken to arrive at any conclusion, so I tucked that incredibly distracting question away in the back of my mind for later. Ai-kun needed my attention right now and debating hidden meanings would hardly accomplish that, let alone make any progress in sending him on his way...and beyond my reach.
My determination renewed, I carefully kept my sight fixed upon the innocuous shower knobs as I walked toward him through the foggy room. My skin prickled at the caress of the scented air, and I fought down a shiver. I stopped just out of reach of the shower's spray, next to where he sat on the wash stool, to crouch down and twist off the water.
Silence enveloped us. It filled the room and the scant amount of space between Ai-kun's damp body and myself. The drops that trickled from the showerhead hit the tile in a slowing, staccato beat that seemed to mock my increasingly pounding heart. Afraid to look at him, still staring at the faucet, I listened to Ai-kun's shallow pants. The soft sounds echoed inside my head, and I realized my own breathing had increased until we were in unison.
Look at him.
Sluggish and dizzy, I let my hand fall from the faucet knob into my lap.
You have to look at him.
I flattened my hands upon my thighs and turned my head to face him.
He never stops watching me. This time, his eyes were half-closed, only the thinnest sliver of pale blue visible through the dark red lashes, but I knew he was observing my every movement. And if shinobi observation skills were anything close to what the rumors said, he was perfectly aware of my inner turmoil...though I desperately hoped he didn't know why.
I kept my eyes locked on his face; I was simply too afraid to let my gaze wander over the rest of him. Being so close to him at this moment was torment enough, since my imagination did not need any help. Indeed, the prudent minority inside me insisted that if I didn't end this intimate moment quickly, something very bad would happen.
Clean him up first.
I forced my lips apart, but could not speak louder than a whisper. "Are you finished washing?"
He nodded. Even though it was slow, the movement made two drops of water that had been dangling on the tips of his flattened bangs drip free and land on his pale cheek. Captivated, I watched them trickle down his face and the urge to lean forward and lick them from his skin attacked me.
With an agonized gasp, I collapsed backward onto the wet tile and clapped my hands over my face. I could see those two drops perfectly in my mind. What if I had done it? What if I did it now? What if--
My frantic thoughts were abruptly cut short when Ai-kun gently touched my shoulder. I froze, as shocked as though he had slapped me. The water drops clinging to his fingers were quickly absorbed by my thin shirt, which only intensified the heat I could feel from him. I began to tremble again.
His fingers tightened.
He's worried about me. I'm not supposed to act like this.
I took a deep breath of the moist air to brace myself, let my hands drop, and sat up to face him once more. I barely kept from jolting backward in shock. He had moved while I had been caught up in my distress, leaning in so close that his face filled my vision, and I could feel his breath on lips. Every remaining coherent thought inside my head vanished.
His eyes searched my face, flicking across my brow, my cheeks, my mouth. My breath caught in my throat as I watched him study every detail, his expression thoughtful and curious. Finally, his eyes came to rest on my lips.
My face burned bright red. He knows! He's figured it out. And now...now he's baiting me!
Slowly, giving him time to react, I placed my right hand on his shoulder.
His eyes flickered at my touch, and vehemently reciting every curse word I knew inside my head, I carefully pushed him away. Not trusting myself to speak, I slowly shook my head.
His face hardened. The sight stabbed deeply into my heart. I sat back from him and lifted my hand from his shoulder to place it back on my lap, before he could shake it off. I did not let myself look away from his anger. A muscle in his jaw trembled, and he sharply turned away.
I couldn't stay in here with him. The temptation was too great for me to renege on my decision. I looked over to my bathtub and saw that he had already filled it with water and turned on the heater.
"Do you still want to soak in the bath, Ai-kun?" I asked him, the words sounding hoarse.
He nodded curtly.
"Do you need help getting in?"
"No."
I flinched from the cold anger in his tone, shamefully glad that he could not see the pain I knew was clearly on my face. His voice had always been so soft when he spoke before.
"All right." I stood on the tile, careful to keep my balance, and backed a step away. "The clothes are still outside the door. I'll go find something for you to eat. Something light, so it won't hinder you when you leave." It hurt more than I had expected to say that last sentence, but I knew it had to be done. I turned on my heel and walked to the door, this time opening and passing through without hesitation. I pulled it firmly shut with a true and final click.
I'd had my chance and let it go. Without a doubt, I knew it would not be offered again.
I staggered forward to lean once more against the opposite hallway wall in a daze. The astonishment at our role reversal had been like a bucket of cold realization was dunked over me. Unconsciously or not, I had brought this on. Ai-kun had only been reacting to the messages I'd been all but screaming at him since I found him on the riverbank. I had manage to convince myself that he was untouchable in any way beyond platonic, but apparently he did not feel the same. The knowledge that I had been able to keep my internal vow was a small consolation against the pain that I had so clearly caused Ai-kun. He had taken an enormous emotional chance by expressing an interest in me...and I had shoved it right back in his face.
Angrily I swiped at the tears trying to fall from my eyes. Damn it! Damn it all! Especially damn whoever pummeled Ai-kun into my river and landed us in this awkward situation in the first place!
Tears burned in the back of my throat as I marched the short distance to my den and forced myself to truly see what he had done.
Forget the lost and waterlogged kitten. This was Ai-kun: a slowly burning coal of emotion that could explode into an inferno at the slightest provocation. Unpredictable. Impressionable. And fickle, just like any boy his age. But unlike the others, Ai-kun had another layer: he was undeniably lethal. A death-wish from Ai-kun would be horribly real. The mess of my den, the vast amount of damage he had wreaked...this had happened merely when he had seen my painting of the Konoha Kyuubi. If a simple illustration could provoke this from him, what havoc could my continuous teasing create?
I had to stop it. Subconscious or deliberate, dangling myself in front of him was completely irresponsible and cruel. Not to mention life-threatening for me.
With a troubled sigh, I hugged myself and turned away from my den. I walked back down the hallway, not pausing when I passed the closed door of the bathroom. I had to send Ai-kun on his way as quickly as I could. It was the only ending to this fiasco that I could possibly allow.
In the laundry room, I pulled our wet clothes from the washing machine and resignedly separated them, only shoving his inside the electric dryer. I'd never been so grateful to my house's previous owners for including their expensive appliances in my purchase. Thanks to the machine, his clothes would be dry in a portion of the time it would have taken on a line outside in the muggy night air.
I tried to keep my attention focused on what I was doing as I prepared food in the kitchen. I pulled several of my onigiri from the refrigerator and set a package of miso to heat on the stove. On small serving plates, I laid out slices of tofu, daikon, naruto, and a portion of the large fish I had roasted for myself the day before. Fresh rice and tea were started cooking. I also set a variety of fruit in a bowl on the table, in addition to plates and chopsticks for us both. Ai-kun could eat as much or as little as he wanted.
I placed two more onigiri, an energy bar, and a can of juice inside a small bento box and wrapped it inside a large handkerchief. I yanked the knot very tight. I wasn't sure if Ai-kun would welcome civilian food for travel purposes, but I would offer it anyway.
The food preparation finished, I paused and realized I had nothing left to do but stir the miso until it was finished. The bathroom door was still closed, and I could see the light was on through the crack at the bottom. Restless, I found one of my countless sketchpads and a pencil to keep myself busy. I doodled for a moment, then quickly sketched the vague form of a head and torso...heavily-rimmed eyes, short hair, the tattoo...the muscles in his taut body, his hardened face when I had turned him away.
I swallowed down my remorse and gazed down at the rough drawing. I owed him an explanation. I wasn't a little girl who had no idea of her affect on the opposite sex. But what could I possibly say to assuage him? "Ai-kun...you were right, but I can't give in to something like that, not with a boy half my age." Like that would help things. Ai-kun seemed intelligent, I was certain he had already realized that for himself. Did the reason really matter? I had refused him. That was the end of it.
It seemed best to keep things short and to the point. An apology, nothing more. Ai-kun didn't invite conversation anyway. Morosely, I finished the sketch, signed and dated it for posterity, and flipped to the next page. I lost myself in my art, filling the white page with small studies of Ai-kun. His face and form came to me with frightening ease...making me feel guilty for having studied him so well. With a few hard lines, I developed a promising sketch farther, brining out the imminent threat and danger of Ai-kun that had lured me into this bothersome mess in the first place.
The back of my neck prickled. I suddenly jolted and snapped my head up to see Ai-kun watching me from the hallway. The small dragon shirt fit him rather well, though the shorts had been as baggy as I feared. His hair stood up in jagged red spikes and the faint scent of green tea reached me, even over the food.
I blushed and quickly stood, setting my closed sketchpad behind me on the counter. I hope he doesn't know what I was drawing. After my refusal of his advance, drawing him seemed intimate and inappropriate, though that hadn't occurred to me until after I was almost caught.
With a tentative smile, I gestured at the opposite chair. I turned away to wash my hands and bring the rest of the food to the table. The only sound of his movement was the barest whisper of the borrowed clothes when he sat down. Another silent reminder of what he is. It would do me good to remember it.
I glanced at him from the corner of my eye. He was still watching me, his face stoic. I poured him a glass of hot tea and dished out rice and a portion of soup. Without speaking, he picked up the chopsticks and took a tiny bite of the rice. I waited a moment, silently watching his miniscule bites and controlled movements, before I sat down in my own chair and began to eat as well.
We ate without conversation.
I was nibbling on a naruto held in my chopsticks, mind purposefully blank, when I felt his eyes upon me. I looked up to see his guarded face staring at me once again. I paused, staring back, then quickly pulled the rest of the fish cake into my mouth, chewed, and swallowed.
He averted his gaze, the motion sharp.
The small circles of color I saw on his cheeks made me blinked in surprise. He's blushing? But...why?!
My amazement was abruptly interrupted by the sound of a familiar, aged voice shouting through my back door.
"Minami-chaaan!"
We both jumped.
"Minami-chan, I know you have a gentleman caller in there! I saw you leading him from the river! And you without a chaperone!" An indignant thump echoed from off my porch. "Scandalous!"
I sat frozen for a moment, transfixed by the image of Ai-kun being a 'gentleman caller', until another loud thump and yell of my name shook me out of my reverie. I quickly set my chopsticks down on my plate and wiped my hands on my napkin. "It's just my neighbor, Uwasa-obaasan. She's such an old gossip...I'll go shoo her away."
I stood from the table and turned to give Ai-kun a reassuring smile--but he had vanished. Uwasa-obaasan's insistent calls continued as I walked to the door, searching what I could see of my house's interior for any sign of Ai-kun.
"Minami-chan! You open this door this minute!" I heard her bang her walking stick on something hollow. "And what is this ridiculously large gourd? Geh! It's filthy! What are you two doing in there?" She whacked the gourd again.
I sighed and decided to let Ai-kun stay hidden. Shinobi likely need to be paranoid...keeps them alive. In the back entryway, I stepped out of my house slippers, into my geta, and opened the door to ruefully greet my nosy neighbor where she stood in the porch light. "Good evening, Uwasa-obaasan."
She glared up at me, her wrinkled face further creased by her disapproval. "Minami-chan! No single girl should ever be alone with a non-relation man!" She reached out with one wizened hand and tugged me onto the porch. "It's so dangerous, your living alone!" What if he were to take advantage?"
I fought down an ironic laugh. You have it backwards, actually...not that I'll ever admit it. Out loud, anyway.
"Obaasan, it isn't like that at all. He's just a boy I'm helping out."
Using her stick, she deftly hooked the doorknob and pulled my back door closed in one strong jerk. "Is that so?"
I stared at her in confusion. Obaasan's mouth had formed the words, but that had definitely not been her voice.
She smiled darkly, her yellow teeth glinting in my porch light. The deep male voice spoke from her lips again. "Thanks for holding him up for me."
Eh?
Uwasa-obaasan vanished in a poof of thick smoke. I gasped in shock, inadvertently breathing in the fumes. I coughed and staggered back against the shut door, my eyes tearing up. I waved my hand to dispel the haze and tried to find the doorknob. A man impersonating Obaasan?! Why?!
A hand shot out from the cloud and easily clamped around my upper arm with an iron grip.
I peered at the hand in confusion and rubbed my eyes against the clearing smoke. That's not Ai-kun's hand...it's much too big. My eyes left the hand holding me, trailed up a thick black sleeve, and came to rest upon a full-sized man wearing a dark coat decorated with garish red cloud designs.
He grinned down at me over the coat's high collar.
"So where's the brat, Minami-chan?"
(completed 6-24-08, last tweaked 6-24-08)