Special thanks to carameL, xxandlovesaidno, xXxGothicButterflySpiritxXx, Reddragon13x, yehey, the terrorist, JessicaArgueta12, and zaza98able for reviewing!

Disclaimer: Shaman King belongs to Hiroyuki Takei, not me.

This chapter is based on chapers 164-166 in the manga.

I feel the knife going in,

I'm feeling anxious.

Not enough to kill me, I thought it'd happen fast.

But I'm feeling it now and I feel anxious.

Sleeping inches from me, I let it pass.

-"Knife Going In" by Teagan & Sara

December 30, 1995

Anna trudged down the streets in Aomori. Stupid Kino, she thought. Stupid candles. She sighed. Stupid me.

Kino had caught her snitching candles and had promptly sent her out to the village with a shopping list. She knows I hate it, she thought glumly. So why torture me like this?

The old woman still didn't know about the demons that appeared when she went out in public. Anna preferred to keep it that way. Better to keep her own secrets and deal with her own problems.

Her shoes clacked on the pavement and the winter breeze lifted her hair off her neck. The village bustled with people preparing for the new year and the upcoming festival. She blended quietly into the crowd.

People rarely noticed her anymore. That was fine. She was used to being ignored. It made things easier, actually. The less she was noticed, the less likely it was for an oni to appear.

Of course, just because they didn't pay attention to her didn't mean she didn't hear them. She was ten years old now, and her curse- what Kino called the gift of reishii- had strengthened. Not only did she hear the thoughts of those around her, but she saw them too. She could see the stories behind them, and they were ugly.

She walked down the sidewalk, huddling in the warmth of her coat and oversized scarf. Her steps slowed. She liked wasting as much time as she could, testing the limits of her strength. It was almost a sort of game to see how long she could go without the appearance of a demon. She had yet to win.

She passed by a small café, ignoring the delicious scent of hot noodles. Her small allowance didn't really permit spending on food, and besides, she needed to get her errands done.

A boy about her own age burst out of the café. "Hey, wait, Matamune!" he hollered. Despite the cold of the day, he only wore a short-sleeved tee shirt and no coat. His dark hair was pulled away from his face into a ponytail, and a pair of orange headphones bounced on his neck. "Matamune!"

He skidded down the sidewalk and halted mere feet away from her. She stared at him coolly. He stared back, his breath puffing into clouds in the cold air and a slight blush rising on his cheekbones.

I almost ran into her. Oops.

She frowned, her lips thinning. "You're in my way," she said. Her eyes narrowed. "Die."

Anna brushed past him. He froze where he was, staring wide-eyed into space. His thoughts rattled into her head.

"You're in the way, die?" Is that any way to talk to a total stranger?

His thoughts filtered into hers, and she caught glimpses into his life. He had traveled there from Izumo. And with a cat, it looked like. He had a family back home, a mother and a grandfather. Lucky.

"Hey! Wait a minute!" he called.

She paused and glanced over her shoulder at him. He looked upset, but the blush spread across his cheeks and he faltered. "Err…" he stammered.

"Don't talk to me like you know me, or I'll kill you," she snapped. His soft dark eyes were unsettling; she didn't want to keep looking at him.

And then she realized why.

The longer he looked at her, the more she knew about him. She saw an old man- the boys' grandfather- addressing him. He called the boy Yoh. He was sending Yoh to Aomori to meet his fiancée.

So this is the boy I'm supposed to marry, she thought, her heart thudding against her ribcage.

"I'm sorry," he apologized, his cheeks pink in a combination of cold and embarrassment.

She's so cute. I've never seen another girl like her before. But why is she so mad at me?

She bristled. "Pathetic," she said sharply. She turned to walk away. "Yoh Asakura. To think that someone like you would be my future husband."

At the sound of his name, the boy turned and fled. She stormed down the street, running his thoughts over in her head. I can't believe he thinks I'm cute, she fumed. No one gave him that right.

Her shopping bag bumped against her knee as she stomped away and ducked into a side alleyway. She realized her breathing had quickened, and she did her best to calm down.

I've met my husband, she thought. I'm ten years old, and I've met my husband.

He was actually nice looking. He was nothing like the boys she had briefly met in school, or like any of the boys in the village. She wondered if he was as nice as he looked.

She crept out of the alley and circled back to where she had met him. He was long gone, just as she had suspected, but she followed the maze of streets to where she thought he might have gone.

It didn't take long to find him. He had gotten his coat and bag from the café and was making his way to the northern part of town, towards the river. She followed him quietly. Stupid, she thought. He doesn't even notice anything.

He strolled down to the riverside and plunked down on the snowy bank, watching the chilly water flow by. She ducked behind a piling on the bridge and watched him.

"That freaked me out," he said out loud, his breath puffing into the cold air. "She called my name and I freaked out and ran away." He sniffled and wiped his nose on his sleeve. "But it doesn't make any sense. Why would she threaten to kill me?"

You were in my way, she thought, frowning. You startled me. She set her shopping back beside her shoes and peeked around the piling.

He sighed deeply, staring out over the churning water of the river. "So that was my fiancée," he said thoughtfully. "Maybe she saw a picture of me. Maybe that's how she knew who I was."

He set his chin on his folded arms. She leaned a little closer.

Well, she is kind of cute.

She scowled as a blush rose up on his cheeks. Anna glowered in his direction. He shivered, as if he could hear her death threats in his head.

He stood up, brushing the snow off his pants, and made his way back towards the bridge. She hid out of his line of sight, but followed him as closely as she dared.

"I'm so clueless," he sighed, kicking at a rock. "Are all girls like that? I don't talk to any of the girls at school."

He trudged down the streets, frowning. Anna followed him. Why isn't he going towards the inn? she wondered. I thought he was going to see his grandmother.

He shuffled away, his hands in his coat pockets, his headphones bouncing on his neck. She found herself fuming inwardly. How can he be so relaxed? she thought. He acts like it's no big deal. He doesn't know anything. What a child.

"And now I'm totally lost, aren't I?" he sighed as he walked down the street.

Anna felt the familiar pull of a demon forcing itself out of her. It stalked away and followed the boy. Her heart pounded in her chest.

He turned around and his dark eyes widened. The demon stared him down. The boy rubbed his eyes in disbelief. "You die," it panted, its hot breath blaring into the air.

Anna followed as the boy took off running, the oni at his heels. "Another death threat!" he screeched.

He's doomed, she thought.

"What the heck is that thing?" he yelped. "I've never seen a ghost like this!"

Stupid, don't shout about it, she thought. The humans will hear you.

He was far ahead of her by then, and she could see him trying to fight back. He summoned leaf sprites in droves, but the oni merely batted them away. None of the people strolling down the street seemed to notice him. Of course they couldn't see the oni, but surely they would notice a ten-year-old boy shrieking and swatting at an invisible enemy.

Definitely doomed, she thought to herself. Her shopping bag bounced against her knees as she walked down the street.

Suddenly a small cat spirit appeared at the boy's side. She crept closer and hid behind a building about a block away- close enough to hear their conversation, but far enough away that they wouldn't be aware of her.

"What is that thing?" the boy screeched.

"A demon," the cat spirit said shortly. "They show up, now and then. They are lost souls, filled with frustration, resentment, and regret. These feelings fester and grow more terrible with time, and when the hatred can no longer be contained, they take material form and strike out."

Anna leaned her back against the rough brick wall of the building and stared up into the steel gray sky. So that's what it is, she thought.

On one hand, it was a relief to hear that there was an explanation behind the demons, but at the same time, it scared her. Am I really that angry? she thought, her heart thunking against her ribcage like a heavy drumbeat.

The little cat struck down the demon; it dissolved into a cloud of red dust and vanished. The boy plunked to the ground, breathing hard. He seemed to still be in one piece.

"Can you stand, young master?" the cat asked. The boy nodded, dazed. "Very good. Come, Kino is waiting for us."

The cat looked towards her hiding place. There was a curious light in the cat's eyes, but she stared back as boldly as she could manage.

"Your fiancée awaits," the cat said to the boy, even though he was still looking towards her.

Anna turned away, her back to the wall. She stared down at the dirty sidewalk. "He felt my presence even though I was hiding," she said softly, her voice oddly loud in her own ears. Her stomach twisted at the thought of the cat's deep, condescending gaze. She looked up blankly. "Curse that split-tailed cat."

She hid behind the storefront for a while. As much as she hated being in the village, she dreaded going back to the inn. She would have to talk to Kino, she would have to face the cat. And of course, the boy would be there.

She walked slowly down the street, the bag full of boxed candles bumping against her leg. It's a miracle the oni didn't kill him, she thought. He's lucky that cat showed up when he did.

She wondered what would have happened if the oni had succeeded. So far, no one in Aomori had ever been killed by one of her demons- but then again, humans couldn't exactly be touched. A boy with shaman powers…that was a different story.

He could have died, you know, her subconscious reminded her rebelliously. And it would have been your fault.

She struggled with the sudden feeling of guilt. Nothing happened, she reassured herself. He's fine. And even if something did, it wouldn't have been your fault.

The inn loomed up in front of her. She wished fervently that she could run away and avoid all this, but she had no other option. Her entire body felt strange- her chest felt tight, her throat seemed closed up, and her eyes stung. She didn't know what to make of it.

Anna dragged herself to the side door and slid it open. Evidently the boy had beaten her home; his shoes lay neatly on the floor. She kicked hers off, not caring where they landed.

She walked to the guest lounge, her small feet making next to no noise on the wooden floor. "Well, speak of the devil," she heard Kino say. "Here she is now."
Kino's been talking about me, she thought unhappily. Probably telling him all sorts of awful things.

For some reason, that made her more upset. She slid the door open and stuck the shopping back through the crack. There was enough space to see into the room- Kino as implacable as always behind her dark glasses, the cat's smug face, and the boy looking partially shocked and partially scared.

Words failed her. "Here," she said, her voice cracking. She dropped the shopping bag and slammed the door shut.

It didn't mean she couldn't hear them, though. "What kind of greeting was that?" the boy demanded.

"It seems you've been snubbed, Yoh," the cat said mildly.

"No kidding!" the boy said. He sounded angry. "It was her. I didn't get a look at her face, but-"

She heard the boy skidding across the floor, as if he was chasing after her. Swiftly she ducked into the hallway, but she heard Kino rebuke him. "It won't do any good to yell at her," the old woman said sharply.

"I came all the way to see her, and she threatened to kill me," the boy protested. "What am I supposed to do?" She heard his heavy footsteps as he stomped back to the warmth of the kotatsu. "I know you wouldn't have chosen her if she didn't have a lot of talent, but you've spoiled her. Her manners stink."

Anna stood up straighter, leaning against the wall. He doesn't know anything, she thought bitterly.

"Young fool," Kino reproached. "Words mean nothing to Anna."

She fled then, running pell-mell up the stairs to the safety of her own bedroom. As soon as she was inside she slammed the door and locked it securely. She flicked on the light, her fingers shaking.

"Calm down," she said aloud, her voice sounding thin and tremulous in her own ears.

Her fingers still shaking, she ripped the scarf from her shoulders and shrugged out of her coat. Her bedroom was cold; it felt like a knife going through her skin. She sat down in the middle of her bed and hunched over.

What's wrong with me? she thought. Why can't I just let go of this?

She stayed like that for a while, still sinking into the feelings that had held her captive since she began her walk home. It was an old game- encouraging the tightness of her chest, the constriction of her throat, the heaving of her shoulders, the burning behind her eyes.

She was trying to cry.

But just like every time she conducted this little experiment of hers, she was left with just a headache and no tears. She stood up slowly and let herself out of her room. Between the cold and the ache in her body, all she wanted was a hot bath.

She made her way down the dark, silent halls, looking forward to the rush of hot water and the clean stinging scent of soap. That would make her feel better.

But as she approached the bathroom, she heard voices- the boy's tenor, the cat's soft rumble. She froze outside the door and ran back to her room.

She could feel their thoughts still singing into her as she fled. The cat was older and wiser than she gave him credit; his perception of her went beyond merely sensing her presence. The boy was confused, and hurt…and in love. His thoughts cut into her cleanly, and it hurt.

Why doesn't she like me? Does she not want to get married, or is there something about me she doesn't like?

She swallowed the lump in her throat as she sank down to her bed. His thoughts continued to cut into hers.

And why did that demon try to kill me? Did it have something to do with her?

She laid down on her cold bed, her hair fanning out across her pillow. Her head pounded as his thoughts ran through her mind.

It's not you, she wanted to say. It's not your fault. It's…it's mine.

She remembered what Kino had called her during the telephone call to her daughter: "a piece of damaged goods."

Damaged. That's me. I'm damaged.

She stared blankly at the dark wall. Her dolls stood as sentinels, their faces sweet but vacant. They offered no comfort.

As she huddled there, shivering, she prayed that the gift would leave her, that she could wake up the next morning with her mind silent of all thoughts save her own.

Usually that offered some kind of solace, but tonight there was no peace. She stayed awake, cold and unsettled, as a terrible thought continued its painful course through her consciousness.

If he marries me, I'll ruin him. I have to tell him to leave.

And although it was sensible, although it was a good idea, it still felt as painful as a knife plunged through her heart. She didn't sleep at all that night.

Author's Notes:

OH HAI THERE YOH.

I'm so excited! Things are happening! Yoh is completely adorbs!

I've already written the next chapter for this bad boy, but I'm off to be a counselor at church camp for the week (fun fact: I teach a middle school Sunday school class) so there shan't be a new update until about Friday or Saturday. But hey, at least there will be one, right?

Quick question: I base each chapter on a song; does anyone actually listen to them? Or better yet, do you listen to it while reading the chapters? Inquiring minds want to know...

And now, on to reader responses!

carameL: Hao has his reasons. :P It seemed like a very Hao-ish thing to do, checking out the girl that the Asakuras hope to use against him. And you're welcome about Keiko. She's a very interesting character, and I wish she had appeared more in the series.

xxandlovesaidno: Yup, that was him! And I hope you enjoy this update.

xXxGothicButterflySpiritxXx: AND HERE IS YOH! XD

Reddragon13x: The use of the pinwheels isn't exactly stated, but they're all over the mountain, so I'm guessing they're considered special. In my head, I imagine that they're used to see where the spirits are moving.

yehey: Gah, I had trouble making it feel like Anna truly hates people. But I figured out how to develop it. It involves a great deal of denial. So...hopefully it'll develop better.

the terrorist: Thanks for picking up on so many of the little subtleties! I try to make my stories complexish. And seeing as how Anna is a little bucket of complexity and angst, she makes my job easier. :P I really love the character of Keiko Asakura; I've written an AU multichapter (that has the king of all sucky endings) and a oneshot about her. I might go through and write some form of prequel involving her...

JessicaAgueta12: Yay! Thank you!

zaza98able: Your reviews crack me up. They're like a page's worth of a run on sentence, and I love them. :P And I hope you really like this chapter because ZOMGYOH.

Next chapter: Anna tries to send Yoh away.