ELEVEN
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
January 20th, 2009
Sam hadn't meant to snap at Dean, but he was angry. He was angry because they were too late and another innocent person was dead. Dean's right. We would have been too late to save Walter Conroy regardless. Sam never would have been able to rid the man of the demon that had taken up residence inside without it killing him. But that didn't make it any easier to forget, though.
The powers he had could be used for good, Ruby had shown him that. Why did everyone else have to be so against him using them if they worked? Sam sighed and opened his eyes.
They had driven back to the apartment building in complete silence, Dean clearly wanting to avoid a blow out which only left Sam to stew in his own thoughts. He had tried once, much later, to get Sam to talk to him by bringing up the need to eat, but Sam had just grunted in response. Dean slinked out minutes later mumbling to himself and Sam had sat quietly, staring off, for several hours without moving.
He had been thinking about his time without Dean; thinking about the time he had spent with Ruby. The excruciating headaches he got almost every time he used his powers and how she would urge him to push past them. Eventually, as Ruby had promised, the headaches became far less painful and he was able to use his powers to completely rid demons from their host while keeping the person inhabited alive. In most cases, anyway.
Sometimes he was too late and the body was too battered and used for the soul of the person inside to survive alone. It was easier to deal with when Sam saw it firsthand rather than come upon the used shell of a person. At least then Sam could tell himself he had tried to save them. Walter Conroy was just another in a long list of people Sam had failed to save.
Sam turned over onto his side on the floor and searched the room for Dean's sleeping form. His brother lay a few feet away, curled in a ball, his breathing light as he continued to sleep. Sam hadn't gotten much sleep, his mind too wrapped in dark thoughts. He was afraid to fall asleep, afraid he would dream of Dean being tortured in hell, screaming his name.
In the nightmares, Dean's light green eyes would turn black as a twisted, maniacal smile spread across his face and Sam would hear the cries of agony as demon-Dean began torturing some poor soul. The faces of the innocent soul's Sam would see sometimes reflected people they knew, people they cared about - Bobby, Helen and Jo Harvelle, whom Sam hadn't seen in months. Even Sam's dead girlfriend, Jessica.
Sam sighed and pushed himself up, resigned. If he couldn't get some sleep then he might as well make himself useful. He got up and headed for the bathroom, trying to be quiet as he moved over the creaky wood floor. Sam splashed his face with some bottled water and changed into clean clothes. I should go get some coffee before Dean wakes up, he thought to himself.
Sam grabbed his jacket, slipped the Impala's keys from Dean's coat pocket, and headed outside. It had started to snow during the night leaving everything covered in a thick layer of white. Dean had begrudgingly parked the Impala in the abandoned lot again, so Sam began to trudge through the heavy snow.
By the time he made it to the car, the legs of his jeans were soaked through almost to his knees. He groaned when, after seeing the Impala buried under a thick layer of snow, he realized his gloves were locked inside.
"Just great," he groaned. Sam brushed off the passenger side as best he could and climbed in, shivering violently. His hands had turned bright a red and were numb from the cold. He turned the car on and cranked the heater, letting the heat from the Impala's vents melt some of the snow on the windshield while he warmed his hands. After awhile, he slipped his gloves on and climbed back out to brush the rest of the snow off the car.
It took Sam nearly an hour to clean off the car. Figuring Dean would be waking up soon, he maneuvered the car delicately out of the lot in search of coffee. The tires slipped a little as he drove. Once on the main roads, Sam saw things weren't as treacherous, having already been plowed and salted, and driving became a little easier. He found an open Dunkin Donuts a few streets later, ordered two coffees and a couple of donuts, and headed back.
Dean was just waking up, rubbing his eyes and yawning loudly, when Sam entered. Sam tossed the bag of donuts at him and he caught it skillfully, peering inside. "Just what the doctor ordered," he said, his voice still thick with sleep.
"I got coffee, too."
"Cool. Oh - jelly! Sweet!" Sam rolled his eyes and watched in mock horror as Dean shoved the entire donut into his mouth. "What?" Dean asked through the mouthful when he spotted Sam watching him.
"You are truly disgusting," Sam said, shaking his head. He took a sip of his coffee and relished the warmth as it slid down his throat. He watched Dean polish off two more donuts before finally relinquishing the bag back to Sam. Sam was happy to see his plain donut had survived the carnage and began to eat.
"So..." Dean trailed off.
"I'm okay, Dean."
"No more girlie freak outs, then?"
Sam rolled his eyes, but ignored Dean's comment. "I'm fine, I swear. Yesterday just hit me. Seeing that man's body there, just tossed off like someone's trash. And to think we were so close on the demon's trail." He sighed heavily.
"Trust me, I know. It bugs me too," Dean stated. "You just don't see me freaking out like a chick. There was nothing we could have done, Sammy. The man was dead a long time ago. The demon was just keeping the body warm. At least we know we're on to something. The demon wouldn't have gone to so much trouble the other night, trying to get us caught by the cops, and it certainly wouldn't have jumped ship if we weren't close," Dean reasoned, sipping his coffee as he watched Sam.
He's got a point, Sam thought. He walked over to the wall where their research was taped and began looking over some of the details they had compiled already. Nothing led to Lilith, which was what Sam was hoping for, but they still had a lot of information that could help find her.
"We're going to have to skip checking out the murder in Ridley Creek Park. Anything of use is now under about a foot of snow."
Dean groaned and Sam turned to see him stomp over to the window to take a look. He watched as Dean's lip twitched slightly in an obvious smirk when he saw the cleared Impala parked on the street in front of the abandoned building. There was no way in hell I was walking back through all that snow, Sam thought to himself.
"You're welcome," Sam muttered.
Dean grinned at Sam and gulped down the last of his coffee. "There's a way you can get in touch with Ruby, right?"
Sam stared at his brother. "Yeah, I guess so. Why?"
"Well, I had a thought last night," Dean started.
"That's always dangerous," Sam interrupted.
Dean threw his empty cup at Sam, but he dodged it. "Shut up, smart ass. Seriously, I think I'm on to something." Sam smiled and nodded for him to continue. "Remember yesterday how Ruby said she'd asked around about the pentagram and not even her contacts had ever seen anything like it?"
"Yeah?"
"And you know how both you and Bobby have come up with zip on a ritual that would use it?" Sam nodded. "Well, what if it isn't one? What if we've been trying to figure out something that doesn't exist?"
"The pentagram's a dummy?" Sam mumbled, glancing back at the wall, already on the same track. Of course! Lilith has us chasing down some false lead, some fake ritual that means nothing while she's planning something else. "It has to be big," Sam stated, his thoughts jumping ahead.
"What does?"
"Whatever Lilith is really planning. I mean, for her to go through all the trouble of leading us along like this, it has to be something much bigger than we expected." Sam was pacing now, glancing periodically at the photos and paperwork pinned on the wall. "I think you might be right, Dean."
"I love it when you say that," Dean replied with a cocky grin. Sam stopped and gazed at his brother. "We should call Bobby. See if maybe he thinks I'm right, too."
"Wouldn't you love that," Sam grumbled. He pulled out his phone and pressed the speed dial for Bobby.
"Hey Bobby. We think we might have figured out the pentagram," Sam stated as soon as the hunter picked up. "And you'll never believe this, but it was Dean's brilliant idea," Sam exclaimed.
"I think you might be right, Dean," Ruby said in mild shock. It had been a few hours and several conversations later since Dean had come up with his theory that the pentagram was a fraud.
"Nope, still not tired of hearing that, " Dean grinned. Both Ruby and Sam rolled their eyes and a smile tugged at Sam's lips.
"It would make sense for Lilith to plan something like this. She's done it before, although I've never witnessed it," Ruby continued. "It plays with what I said earlier, though. She might try and use her real plan to get rid of you and that's why she's going to so much trouble." Ruby glanced at Dean, before turning back to Sam. "I still think you should leave town," she added, eyeing him carefully.
"I think it's better we stay," Sam stated, looking down at the plastic water bottle he was holding. He looked up at Dean before finally meeting Ruby's gaze. "We have to at least try to stop Lilith." Ruby sighed but said nothing.
"So now what?" Dean asked, trying to break the silence that had begun to stretch. Sam and Ruby turned to look at him. "I mean, we know the ritual is probably bogus and this demon, Mammoth or whatever..."
"Malphas," Ruby corrected.
"Right, Malphas, is gone. On to some new body and any information we may have been able to get about Lilith gone with him. Either of you have any ideas as to where we go now? 'Cause I'm coming up with bupkiss."
"I'm coming up empty, too," Sam relented. He stared at the wall of photos again. "Maybe the angels know something?" He saw Ruby shudder out of the corner of his eye. "You might want to duck out for a little while," he said, turning to watch her face.
"That would probably be for the best. Do you guys even know how to get in contact with them?"
"Cas usually shows up when I need him to," Dean replied. "I've never tried to get his attention before, but I'm sure I can come up with something." He grinned and winked at Sam. What the hell is he planning? Sam thought, rolling his eyes.
"Well, I guess that's my cue to leave," Ruby said as she rose from the crate she'd been sitting on. "As soon as you know anything..."
"I'll call," Sam finished. She smiled weakly at him.
"See you around, Dean," she called as she slipped out the door. Dean turned to find Sam at the window again.
"So what exactly is your plan, Dean?"
"I'm still working on it. Once I know, you'll know."
"You mean you're not going to run through the streets screaming Castiel's name?" Sam smiled at the mental picture he had of Dean being subdued and put into a white straight jacket.
"No. That'd just get me locked up in the loony bin. I'm sure I can come up with something a little less theatric." Dean was putting on his leather jacket as Sam turned to look at him. "I should be back in half an hour."
"If not, I'll start calling the local asylums," Sam joked. Dean chuckled and left the apartment. Sam watched from above as his brother climbed in to the Impala and sped off. Hope your plan works, he thought with some concern. Sam stood looking out onto the white landscape below until his breath completely fogged the window, then turned and began pacing the room.
He hated waiting around while Dean was out there, some of the old fears from the year leading up to Dean's trip to hell still with him. As the half hour mark passed with no word from his brother, Sam began to worry. He was just about to call Dean when the door to the apartment opened. Dean strolled in, followed closely by Castiel. Sam shuddered slightly at the sight of the angel. It was an unusual reaction and he quickly realized it was because of the look on the man's normally calm face. Castiel looked angry. "What's up?" Sam asked, eyeing Dean carefully.
Dean glanced at Castiel before responding. "Well, I filled Cas in on what we've learned so far. It looks like there is a seal, a big seal, that Lilith's trying to open here. And from what the angels have gathered, there is more than one demon working to open it." He glanced at the angel once more.
"What's going on, Dean?" Sam was getting tense. He couldn't understand what was making his brother so hesitant.
"Well...now don't go blowing up, Sam, but the angels think Ruby might be in on something. Or at least she knows more than what she's been telling us."
Sam stared at Dean. Ruby isn't evil, he wanted to scream. He took a deep breath, trying to relax against the anger rising in his chest, and closed his eyes. "Ruby is not helping Lilith," he growled. He opened his eyes and glared at Castiel. "You can't accuse her of something on principle."
"By her very nature she is evil, Sam," Castiel replied. "You are too close to see this anymore." He turned his cold blue eyes to Dean. "Perhaps it is best to leave Sam out of this."
"Like hell you are," Sam yelled. He was seething now, the anger pulsing in his temples. Dean remained silent which only made Sam angrier. "Dean, tell me you aren't listening to this? Ruby has saved my life, our lives, on more than one occasion. How much more does she have to do to prove she isn't like other demons?"
"Calm down, Sammy. I'm not taking sides. I may not trust Ruby - hell, I don't even like her most of the time-, but I can't ignore her actions." Dean strode over to Sam and placed his hands gently on his shoulders. "She is a demon though, man, and we can't say for sure we know what her motives are." When Sam opened his mouth to protest, Dean shook his head. "We need to work this out on our own. I've heard what info Cas has and we've heard, so far, what Ruby's got. We've just got to go off the lifetime of training and knowledge dad gave us to figure this out." Sam glared over his brother's shoulder at the dark haired angel once more before meeting Dean's gaze. Dean raised his eyebrows, waiting for Sam.
"Okay. Fine." Sam stepped out of Dean's grasp and turned to look out the window. I'm not discussing anything until he leaves, he thought angrily. He heard Dean whisper something to Castiel and strained his ears, trying to make out the words. After a minute, Dean came to stand by his side. Sam glanced behind him and saw they were alone, the angel gone. "That really sucked, Dean," he mumbled.
"Yeah, I know. But they're mortal - or immortal, actually - enemies, Sam. They're bound to make accusations against the opposite side regardless of the circumstances." Dean lightheartedly punched Sam in the shoulder. "Cas got you a little hot under the collar, didn't he, little brother?"
"I just don't understand how they can still think that Ruby would be involved with Lilith's plans. She's stood by us far more than any angel has." Sam was watching his brother as he spoke, trying to gauge his response, to read his thoughts. Dean's face remained passive, unaffected. "Look what happened before with Anna."
"The thing with Anna was different." Sam cocked an eyebrow at Dean and he hastily continued. "I do get what you're saying about Ruby, though. I'll admit, I've seen her do some good things, but how can you say with absolute certainty that she doesn't have any demonic agendas? Despite how well you think you know her, Sam, she is a demon and they lie, cheat, and create mayhem on a pretty even basis."
"Ruby's not like that, Dean. Even you've seen that," Sam pressed.
"She's lied to you before. Don't forget that. What makes you so certain that she won't do it again? We were trained to send demons back to hell not take them out on dates. It goes against my better judgment to let Ruby live every time I see her. I'll admit she's come through for us on occasion and that's why I have reserved the right to send her ass back to hell until she gives me a reason to."
Sam could see he wasn't going to convince his brother of Ruby's goodwill, but at least Dean was willing to believe the angels were wrong about her involvement with Lilith's plans. He could feel his brother's questioning eyes boring into him so he turned to look at him.
"Thanks, Dean. At least for that much." He walked past Dean into the bathroom where he'd stashed a few of the ingredients needed for Ruby's summoning ritual and came back out into the makeshift living quarters. Dean remained quiet as he watched Sam work. Once the ritual was complete, Sam stood up and waited for Ruby to arrive.
A few moments later there was a knock at the door. "Come on in, Ruby," Sam called.
"That didn't take very long," she commented as she entered. Then, as if she could sense the tension in the room, she turned to Sam. "What's going on?"
Sam looked to Dean first before answering. "The angels think you're involved with Lilith's plans."
"What? You can't be serious," Ruby cried, spinning on Sam with a look of disbelief. "They're wrong. Sam you have to believe. I wouldn't work with Lilith. She would send me back to hell, or worse, before she'd let me anywhere near her plans."
"Ruby, relax. We know you aren't working with Lilith," Dean cut in. Sam gawked at his brother, shocked at the small note of sympathy in his voice. Ruby stared at Dean as well, a look of confusion etched across her face. "What we need to know is if you can find out anything more about the seal she's trying to break here. Are there any contacts of yours that you may not have tried yet?"
"There may be one, but it's a long shot that he may have any information of use. He's been flying under the radar since Azazel opened the Devil's Gate last year. He's on a lot of other demon's hit lists," Ruby offered.
"So what makes you think he knows something?" Sam pressed.
"Because he's been out in the open lately. That makes me think he's involved in something, something big. He wouldn't risk his existence if he wasn't guaranteed some kind of protection. Protection only Lilith would be able to provide."
"Well doesn't he sound peachy. How are you supposed to trust what he tells you if he's on Lilith's side?" Dean snapped. Ruby glared at him before turning her back to him.
"Dean's got a point," Sam stated. "How can you be sure he won't lie or double-cross you?"
"Because he owes me."
Dean snorted. "Okay, so no worries then! He owes her!"
"Dean, don't," Sam cautioned.
"What's your problem, Dean?" Ruby snapped, turning to glare at him.
"My problem?" Dean growled out angrily. "You expect us to trust that some demon, who sounds like every other demon we've sent back to hell, won't double-cross you and get us all killed? We're supposed to trust this on the simple fact that said demon owes you! Call me crazy, but that doesn't exactly sound like a safe, intelligent situation."
"Well, I don't see you coming up with any brilliant ideas," Ruby continued to rage. "Correct me if I'm wrong, Dean, but it seems your angel buddies have only given you useful information after the fact."
"Yeah, okay, let's say you may be right. How can you trust that this demon won't consider his debt paid before you have time to get away? How can you be positive that he will even honor his debt to you?"
"Maybe it's too dangerous," Sam finally added.
"This is ridiculous," Ruby cried, throwing her hands into the air. "Since when are you worried about me, Dean?"
"I'm not. I'm worried about what you could bring down on us."
Ruby rounded on Sam. "And since when can I not take care of myself, Sam?"
"I'm not saying that. I just think it might be smarter if..."
"If we sit here and wait for the apocalypse?" Ruby shook her head. "I don't need your protection and I certainly don't need your permission. I'll let you know what I find out," Ruby spat. She turned on her heel and stormed from the room, slamming the door behind her.
"That went well, didn't it," Dean grumbled.
"She's right, you know. We can't tell her what to do. If she wants to risk herself getting information, who are we to begrudge her? We wouldn't think twice about risking our own lives. And we have, several times. I'm just as cautious about all this as you are, but we need the help, Dean," Sam replied.
How can you still think Ruby's on the side of evil if she's willing to risk her life for us, Sam thought angrily.
"I just don't want this coming back to bite us," Dean relented. He sighed. "So now what?"
Sam shrugged. "Unfortunately, all we can do now is wait."
"Yay, my favorite part!" Dean muttered sarcastically. Sam smiled, glad the mood had shifted, and threw an empty water bottle at his brother. It hit Dean squarely on the forehead with a resounding crack and Sam burst out in laughter. "You're going to regret that," Dean growled playfully, before lunging at Sam.