Disclaimer: Shaman King belongs to Hiroyuki Takei, not me.
She says, "You're a masochist for falling for me,
So roll up your sleeves."
And I think that I like her, 'cause she tells me things I don't want to hear,
Medicinal tongue in my ear.
When will it stop? When will it stop?
-"Masochist" by Ingrid Michaelson
December 31, 1995
She huddled in front of the television, hoping no one would overhear. All she wanted was to watch the New Year's music special in peace and quiet. And hopefully that boy would leave her alone.
The door creaked open. She bit her lip. Please, not that boy. Please, not that boy. Please let it be Kino and not that boy.
Well, there's that girl.
She sat up straighter as he approached. He plunked ungracefully to the floor beside her. She folded her hands primly on her lap.
I never would have guessed that she would watch the music special. At least now I don't have to ask her to change the channels. I bet that wouldn't have ended well.
She plucked the skirt of her yukata. The boy slouched beside her, his elbows resting on his bent knees. She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye. He didn't seem to be paying attention to the chirpy announcer on the television. Instead, he looked…upset.
She hasn't spoken to me yet. Should I try to talk to her? No, no, I should wait for her.
He sighed deeply. She dug her nails through the fabric of her yukata and into her knees. Maybe I should talk to him, she thought.
I wonder if she'll ever talk to me. I wonder if I can get her to explain anything.
She took a deep breath. I need to say something, at least, she thought.
The door slid open. She flexed her hands as Kino and Matamune entered. There was no need to turn around and see if they were surprised.
Well, now. Maybe the children are getting along after all.
I wouldn't really call this getting along, she thought. We're just watching TV in the same place, after all.
The cat spirit seemed more surprised than Kino. "Yoh-" he started to say.
The New Year's Eve music show? What in the world-
Kino lifted the little cat by the scruff of his neck. "Now, then," she said. "Shall we take a nice hot bath, Matamune?"
Oh. She wants me to leave the children alone to get to know each other. All right, then.
The two of them chatted as they left the room as abruptly as they entered. The boy seemed to slump further down, averting his eyes from hers. She stared at her knees and forced herself to say something, anything.
"I just want," she said slowly, her voice strained and raspy in her own ears, "to see Ringo Awaya."
"I just want to see Bob," he said. He still didn't look at her. Silence fell hard between them again.
Should I say something? I don't know what else I can say.
"I'm surprised she was invited to sing at all," she offered.
"I could say the same for Bob," he said glumly.
The large afro-haired singer belted out his number over a bouncy techno beat, backed up by slender girls in jumpsuits and sunglasses. She watched them idly as Bob sang a tripe-loaded song about love and how he was the best. The audience applauded him heartily. "Weird song," she commented.
"Hers is weirder," Yoh retorted, hurt at the slight against his idol.
Ringo Awaya's song was entirely different- a strong raspy wail over the strumming of koto strings. "I'm not crying because you're leaving me," she sang, "it's just I never wanna see your face."
"She's kind of scary," Yoh commented.
"She only looks scary," she corrected. He finally looked at her, slightly confused. "She dresses like that and acts tough to hide her vulnerability. It's actually a song of deep compassion."
He smiled down at the floor. "Well, that's how you are too," he said. "Right?"
She spun to stare at him so fast she nearly got whiplash. Her ribcage suddenly seemed to have restricted too tightly to breathe. "I can kinda tell," he said. "A lot has happened since I got here. And I know you've had a hard life."
If she could have, she would have run. But for some reason it felt as if she had been bolted to the floor. She could only stare at him, eyes wide.
"You can read people's thoughts, right?" he said, looking up at her, smiling that gentle boyish smile at her.
She dropped her gaze to the ground. "Nothing good ever happens to me. What else do you need to know?" she asked blankly. "You should go."
"I'm not going home."
She glared at him, her teeth clenching. He slumped again, staring at the floor, his long eyelashes sweeping his cheeks. "How can I live easy while you suffer?" he said.
She turned sharply, sitting up as primly as she could manage. "Don't patronize me," she said.
"I'm not. I want to help you because it'll make me feel better," he shrugged.
"But that is patronizing!" she argued, whipping around. "I don't care whether you can live easily. I can't stand people! I don't want to get involved with anybody! Why won't you take a hint?"
He popped up as if she had slapped him again instead of yelled. Then he hunched over. "Well…you know…" he hedged, blushing.
I'm pretty sure I love her.
"It really sucks that you can read minds," he mumbled.
In a flash she was on her feet, all sorts of sharp comebacks popping up in her mind. "Weirdo!" she shrieked, and she slapped him so hard across the face he toppled over. She bolted down the hallway, threw herself into a vacant room, and slammed the sliding door so hard behind her she got splinters in her fingers. Weirdo, really? That's all I could come up with?
She pressed her back against the closed doors, her breath coming in gasps. The hand I slapped him with feels so hot!
"Hey, Anna."
Her hands froze on the handle of the door. He followed me? Why did he follow me?
"We could watch them ring out the old year on TV," he offered. "And then…you wanna go with me to the temple at midnight?"
The thought of the temple made her fingers clench. She had been there once, as a child, and while it was quiet and peaceful on a summer afternoon, it was New Year's. Everyone in the village would be there. Everyone with their thoughts and prayers and wishes and-
"The crowds might be hard on you, but it's the best time of the year to make a wish," he explained. "You make your wish at the altar, but you're not really relying on the gods. You're making a resolution. You just say your goals for the upcoming year. It's like making a promise to yourself." He paused, as if he was searching for the right words to say. "Don't you want to do something about your power?"
Her eyes burned and she screwed up her mouth. "But…I…" she stammered.
"It'll work out," he said quietly. "If the crowds bother you and a demon appears, we'll run away together. And if our wishes don't make your power more bearable, that's okay too."
She bit her lip. What could he possibly promise in order to make this better? she thought.
"I'll become the Shaman King and fix it for you."
All the breath seemed to leave her body. She stared into the darkness of the closed-off room, his words echoing in her ears. He would do that for me?
"This is kind of embarrassing," he said, half-laughing. "I'm glad there's a wall between us."
Her eyes continued to burn, as if something hot and searing was trying to escape. She barely heard him; her thoughts made her feel dizzy.
"I'm gonna watch TV now," he said. "Don't go to bed, okay? I'll be waiting up for you."
It took her a long time to force an answer. "Okay," she whispered in a small voice as tears that hadn't fallen in a long time trickled down her cheeks.
Author's Note:
Short but sweet. I love this part of the manga; they're both just so small and adorable and anguished. I hope I conveyed all of the emotions properly.
Also, this song is about twelve kinds of perfect. Ingrid Michaelson is a fantastic singer, too.
I meant to update this last week, but I left on a trip to Disney World and forgot. At least it was fun hanging around my old workplace! (Fun fact: I was a cast member for four years, as a campus representative of the Disney College Program and as a Disney-MGM/Hollywood Studios cast member at the Great Movie Ride, the Pixar Block Party Bash, the High School Musical pep rally, Beauty and the Beast, and Fantasmic!.)
And since I don't have too much to say today, on to the reader responses!
cm21: I love the Ozoresan arc too; it's so well-written and provides such brilliant backstory. I also tracked down the radio drama at one point. If you can find it, it's absolutely amazing!
hp-animation: Huh. I might have to write a oneshot based on that...
Reddragon13x: The loss of OneManga is devastating! I was counting on it to write this...
xXxGothicButterflySpiritxXx: This update wasn't terribly fast, but at least it's here! And I have the next two chapters completed...
A Nightmare You Love: I find it both fun and challenging to write Yoh and Anna as children. No one really does that, so I don't have any sources of inspiration, and even in typical fanfiction they're usually written as very flat: Anna yells at Yoh, Yoh fusses over being sent grocery shopping, he gets over it because he loves her, he returns home and catches her in a vulnerable moment, then someone makes dinner. I hope that this story kind of delves further into the more interesting aspects of their personalities.
zaza98able: I don't know if I can work in another non-canon Hao appearance, but he'll definitely appear when I reach that part of the manga. That's going to be interesting...
the terrorist: Anna is soooo deep in denial...about many things, poor kiddo. And I totally agree that the series could have used more YohxAnna. I'm not going to lie, when I got my new Shonen Jump issues in high school I would flip through the SK chapters for any glimpses of shipping! Now I'm writing this as an excuse to insert more shipping...I guess I'm ridiculous like that. Also, thanks for saying that I keep them in character! It's easier than it was in the beginning of my fic-writing days (back in good old 2003!) but it's still difficult in situations like this. And I'm glad you like the review replies! In the old days a lot of people did that, but it seems to have fallen by the wayside.
Next chapter: The oo-oni rears his ugly head.