Chapter 3: Envy

Disclaimer: I only own OCs, if there are any, and the…plot…of this particular fanfiction.

Shinn woke up next to Stellar, who was sleeping soundly with her back to him. He glanced at his clock and groaned, rubbing the sleep from his eyes and yawning. He heard Stellar shift and opened his eyes to see Cagalli.

He sat up and held in a surprised exclamation. Stellar was still sleeping, curling onto her side. He sighed and hopped out of the bed, grabbing his clothes from the dresser before going into the bathroom. He went through his normal routine and checked on Stellar before leaving.

As he drove to the cursed hell-hole that was his workplace, he couldn't stop thinking about his conversation with Rey, and all the times he'd bumped into Cagalli and accidentally touched a part of her that Athrun barely got to look at…

He shook his head to shake those thoughts but they kept coming back. Did he ever really look at her face? Is it just lust? Curiosity? Masochism?

He parked in his usual spot (Athrun's) and debated going back home. He shook his head again. He'd just ignore her like always, no need to act like a pansy. He had Meyrin to bang in the hallway and Stellar to bang at his apartment, and he would probably get Luna back one way or the other anyway. He didn't need or want Cagalli Attha.

Yet he still wanted more.

He stepped out of his newly designed Camaro and glanced at Athrun's Corvette. He remembered a friend from high school who taught him how to hotwire a car without making any noise and grinned at the look on Athrun's face if he noticed his treasured car was missing.

He kept grinning as he walked to his desk and was even happier since he didn't bump into Cagalli. His grin faltered after seeing the new mound of paperwork and he slumped onto his seat. He sighed and started getting to work. The sooner he got it done, the sooner he could leave, the sooner he could party and get this whole day behind him.

"Oh look, he's on time today. I guess that meeting finally woke you up, Asuka."

He froze and his eyes widened but he quickly returned to normal to glare up at Cagalli who was smirking at his doorframe.

"You don't give me enough credit, it's not like I never do work and am always late." He grumbled.

"Usually, just not all the time apparently." She joked.

He scowled and went back to work, reminding himself that as long as he stayed mad the thought that he could possibly like her would remain far away.

"Sounds like someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed today." Cagalli murmured to Athrun as she sipped her coffee.

Shinn's head shot up and he contemplated shoving the coffee all over that newly washed white suit, and then thought of how it would get her white shirt wet and stained, as well as see-through. She would have to take it off and change into a new one…

'Shit! Quit thinking about that stuff!' he yelled at himself and ignored her comment.

Athrun and Cagalli glanced at Shinn's silent form disbelievingly and glanced at each other, surprised. Cagalli shrugged and smiled, thinking that she would have a peaceful day at work for once.

After an hour of working Shinn stood and stretched, already wanting to go back home and sleep…or bang Stellar again. He glanced at the rest of the work then headed out of his office to find his friend Rey.

"Hey, is Stellar still staying with you?" Rey asked when he found him in his office.

"Yeah, at least she was when I left. I'm not sure how long she's staying here for." Shinn replied.

"You didn't ask her last night?" Rey asked.

"No, I was too busy screwing her." Shinn answered and grinned. He noticed Lunamaria staring at him from across the hall; her office was near Rey's. She had heard the whole thing. He smirked at her and she glared before going back to her work.

Rey glanced from the two of them and leaned closer to Shinn. "Are you and Luna gonna get back together if she ends up leaving in a few days?"

"It depends on if Luna wants to apologize and can handle this." Shinn replied loudly while gesturing at himself. The girl glared up at him again so he smirked again, enjoying being a pain in her ass.

"I don't have to apologize for anything, Asuka; you're the one with the attitude problem!" she said heatedly.

"You didn't have a problem with it the other day when you were sleeping in my bed!" he shouted, getting angry as well.

Luna blushed and growled. "This isn't the time or place to even talk about this, you inconsiderate jerk!" she yelled.

"It's not my fault you're high maintenance! If you didn't like me so much why'd you scream my name so loud the neighbors had to call the cops the last time we had sex huh? You're just jealous I can get any girl I want and no one pays attention to you." Shinn yelled back.

Luna gasped and stood, about to punch him when she suddenly stopped and saluted. He raised his eyebrows and was nudged by Rey so he turned to see Cagalli glaring at him.

"What do you want?" he snarled.

"I want you to return to your office and stop causing trouble before I have you suspended." She replied in a low, authoritative tone.

He narrowed his eyes. "I'm not the one causing trouble; she just started yelling at me."

"I did not! You were bragging about having sex with some random girl you probably picked up last night at the bar!" Luna replied.

"It wasn't a random girl it was a girl I know very well. What's the matter Luna, you jealous?" he asked.

"Enough! I heard the whole thing. Both of you were displaying inappropriate work behavior, talking about sex at work is something I would expect from an immature young teenager, not Zaft war veterans." Cagalli said sharply before Luna could reply.

Luna looked down. "I'm sorry ma'am, it will not happen again." She mumbled.

Cagalli turned to Shinn who snorted, glanced at Rey and shrugged, then walked off. Cagalli closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She glanced at Rey who quickly went back to work and then walked up to Luna.

"I will make sure he understands not to talk that way or act that way at work. Just ignore him and he'll leave you alone." She replied and smiled.

Luna half-smiled back. "It doesn't work for you, though. He's always been like that; it's just gotten worse over the years. He's been through a lot but he isn't handling it very well." She replied.

"Yes well, don't worry about me, I can handle him. If he starts anything with you again or tries to hurt you let me know okay?"

"I will, and thank you." Luna replied and went back to her office.

Shinn walked to his office, looked inside to see the paperwork lying on his desk, then took off towards the hangar.

'Why is she the Representative of ORB? She doesn't deserve it, she doesn't even want it. She has no idea what to do with her power and has no control over anyone. I would be a better Representative, if I even wanted to be one. They probably wouldn't want me though, because I'd be too good for them and the stupid council wouldn't be able to control me like they do her. I wish I had more power so I wouldn't have to deal with this crap. I don't need this; I don't want to waste my life away in a cubicle while other people are doing something! I'm a war veteran for crying out loud! I deserve and should have a lot more than this; I should be treated like a king!' he thought angrily.

He entered the hangar and walked to his Gundam, Impulse. He thought about all the battles he fought in, all the accomplishments he's made. "It's all for nothing. I risked my life for nothing."

He went up into the cockpit and looked over all the controls, put his hands on the levers and touched the screen. Flashes of his battles kept appearing in his mind. He wanted more than this. He deserved more than this.

He sighed and got out of his cockpit. He wasn't allowed to use his Gundam, since they were no longer at war. The closest he could come to fighting was the flight simulator. He got in one and started it up, wanting to relieve some steam.

He didn't notice Cagalli come in and get in the simulator across from him. He was playing a regular game when a live opponent came in and it became a one-on-one battle. He was winning at first and then started taking hits until he was finally destroyed. He stared at the screen with wide eyes and gaping mouth as his high score was being replaced by…

"Cagalli!" he exclaimed as he read his opponents name.

"You have too little faith in me. Just because I'm a natural doesn't mean I don't know how to pilot a Gundam. Remember I actually fought in the wars." She said from beside him.

He got out of the flight simulator and regarded her warily. "Congratulations, you ruined my day and killed my buzz. Were you not done yelling at me or something?" he asked.

"We need to talk." She stated.

"We are talking."

"In my office."

"Why?"

"Because your attitude is affecting your work and other people's and that needs to be corrected. Follow me, and don't even think about staring at my ass." She told him.

"Why would I stare at your ass, you don't even have one!" he said as she turned to walk away.

"Then what were you looking at the other day after you bumped into me? Obviously there's something there that interests you." She replied.

His mouth snapped shut and he glared at the ground as he followed her to her office.

She sat at her desk and he sat in the chair opposite her and slouched down, wanting to get this over with.

"Please sit up straight and at least pretend you're mature." She said. He glared but sat up straight. "Thank you. I know you don't like working here, and honestly I don't like it either, but it's the only thing we can do while in the military right now. The war is over, but there's still paperwork to be done. Your meeting went well and you seemed interested in staying with the military, but if you've changed your mind I'm sure we can arrange something else for you." She began.

"I want to stay, I just feel useless sitting in a cubicle stamping papers. I want to do something. Can't you deploy me to PLANT?" he asked.

She hesitated. "I could, but that would take time and I would have to figure out where to place you, unless the Zaft Chairman has a place open. There's not much to do up there either."

He sighed and crossed his arms.

"Look, I know you've been through a lot and you're miserable, but you can't let that affect you here. I can't have you yelling at everyone and pissing everyone off. You know not to talk about sex in the office, especially not to another coworker and especially not about another coworker. Luna could use sexual harassment against you and also slander for all the things you were yelling about earlier. If you keep getting into trouble you're going to be discharged and jobless and I know that's not what you want. Please try to behave and I'll leave you alone, but if we have to have this talk again I'm afraid there will be consequences." She explained.

"I'm not intentionally trying to get in trouble. And she did start it. But that's beside the point, if you'd quit bothering me I wouldn't be as angry or prone to inappropriate behavior." He replied.

"I 'bother' you so you'll get some work done." She responded.

"Maybe I don't get work done because you bother me."

She sighed. "Shinn, just stay out of trouble and do what you're getting paid for, alright? If I hear of even one more situation where you're disturbing someone or have one more misstep I'll lower your position and you'll be even more miserable. And yes, I can do that. You're in ORB, that means I'm your boss at work and out of work, do you understand?"

He remained quiet and glared at her for a moment. "Fine. Just stay away from me and I'll be good."

"Fine, be good and I'll stay away from you."

They stood and saluted and then Shinn left.

"What was that about?" Rey asked when he stepped into Shinn's office later on.

"Tch, she was being Miss Big Boss. 'Stay out of trouble and I'll leave you alone' she kept saying. I only get in trouble when she's around." He exclaimed.

"Maybe you like getting into trouble, I mean, you're a bad boy, you don't like following the rules, it's just the way you are. She knew this during the war; I don't see how she expected you to act any different, especially since you have less ways to express your anger now that the war is over.

"Either that or you just like her yelling at you, maybe you're one of those guys who likes a controlling woman, a chick who bosses them around and dresses up in black leather to whip them." Rey replied.

Shinn gave him an odd look, unable to speak for a moment. Rey shrugged nonchalantly.

"Dude, no. What's with you and this idea that I have a thing for her? If I liked her I would have banged her already! And you know that I hate it when she yells at me like some dog, I can't stand women who boss me around, I can't stand anyone who bosses me around." He finally answered.

"Well, she's quite a challenge. Usually girls swoon over you and practically jump into your arms; she doesn't do that, so you don't know how to approach her because if you used any cheesy pick up lines she'd probably punch you in the face. Plus Athrun's staked his claim on her, and everyone knows that what Athrun has you want. It isn't enough for you to have Luna, Meyrin, and Stellar all over you. You want what you can't have." Rey replied.

"Quit doing that!" Shinn said.

"Doing what?"

"Being so deep and shit! You're freaking me out with all this philosophical talk, how do you even know this anyway?" Shinn exclaimed.

"You're very easy to read, everyone knows how you feel because you express yourself." Rey shrugged.

"Well can you not blab my secrets to everyone? Maybe I should just stop hanging out with you." Shinn said with narrowed eyes.

"Then who would you rant to all the time? Come on Shinn, you know that no one else can tolerate you because they don't understand you and think you're just being a whiny brat. I'm the only friend you have here." Rey told him.

"What? Nuh uh, I have plenty of other friends." Shinn said with his grin. Rey raised his eyebrows and the grin faltered again. "Yeah you're right, no one else can handle this awesomeness, they're all losers." He joked.

"Maybe if you would quit being a jerk you'd have more friends. Just a thought, I don't care either way, but a lot of people don't like to hear someone else tooting their own horn, whether they deserve it or not." Rey commented and walked away.

Shinn sat back in his chair and sighed. He glanced across his desk and saw a picture of him and Lunamaria, happily holding each other. He thought about finding Meyrin, but knew that it wouldn't really make up for anything. He wanted Luna.

He thought about their conversation earlier, well, their argument. He thought about how they had some good times, but mostly they were yelling at each other. He thought about how unhappy he was whenever they weren't having sex, and how he didn't always feel satisfied afterwards.

He realized he wanted more.

A challenge, like Rey said. Someone who has already been claimed. Someone that isn't as easily wooed as other girls. Someone who had the power that he sought. Someone who could keep up with him and wasn't high maintenance.

He wanted Cagalli.

He snorted in unbelief and got up. He glanced down the hallway and saw Athrun and Cagalli chatting and laughing.

He wanted that.

He saw men walking around with medals and high ranks, bragging about the trophy wife and sexy mistress they had at home in their pricey mansions they hardly lived in. He saw successful women who were at the height of their career, not needing a man or a family to be happy.

He wanted that success. He wanted the trophy wife and mistress, he wanted the medals and ranking, he wanted the mansions and beach houses and cars.

But would that really make him happy?

He glanced back at Athrun and Cagalli, two people who were born rich and practically famous, two people who seemed to have it all, yet he knew that neither of them was happy in their mansions with their cars, having all that stuff didn't fulfill them.

Cagalli laughed and smiled, closing her amber eyes and shaking her golden hair.

He blinked and shook himself. 'I'm happy the way I am, I don't need anything else, except maybe a more interesting job. I don't need her. Athrun can have her.' He thought to himself.

She turned and noticed him, her smile faltering a bit to a disappointed look, then she half-smiled and turned back to Athrun, who also glanced at Shinn.

"Hey Shinn, whatcha lookin' at?" Meyrin asked from behind him.

He turned and smiled. "Just those two being annoying as usual."

"Yeah, they just sit there and laugh and dangle themselves in front of everyone's faces. I mean look at Athrun, he can have anyone and he chooses the tomboy who doesn't even know how to be flirtatious and girly." Mey replied and pouted.

"Yeah, you're more his type anyway, or at least you could be his mistress on the side." He joked and she mock-punched him.

"I'm too classy to be the mistress, I may be flirty but I'm not a whore. Trust me; if I was getting paid I wouldn't need to come here every day." She replied.

He chuckled. Meyrin glared at Athrun and Cagalli, and Shinn watched her. She sighed and got a melancholy, depressed look.

"Why can't people just get what they want? Why does it always have to be like this?" she asked.

"I don't know, and I don't really care either." He replied.

"So, do you wanna do our usual sneaking around?" she asked.

"Is that really what you want right now?" he asked.

"Not really."

"Then no."

She nodded. "Well, see you tomorrow then."

"Bye." He said and watched her leave.

He finished his work and then left as well, feeling depressed after his conversation with Meyrin and Rey.

When he walked into his apartment Stellar was cooking dinner. She smiled when he walked inside.

"Wow, you made this for us?" he asked, not expecting her to do anything like this.

"Yeah silly, Stellar and Shinn are boyfriend and girlfriend now, girlfriends do nice things for their boyfriends, and boyfriends return the favor." She giggled.

He was caught off-guard. 'Did I ask her out? I don't remember asking her to be my girlfriend. Maybe she thinks that since we slept together that we're together now. I guess she doesn't know what casual relationships are.' He thought and smiled back.

"Well thanks, I didn't expect this, I was just gonna grab some fast food or something if you wanted." He said.

"Stellar wanted to surprise you with a home-cooked meal." She replied and kissed him.

He grinned and sat down, amazed. They laughed and talked throughout dinner and then went to sleep, too full and tired to do anything else but cuddle.

But the whole time he was thinking about Cagalli, and imagining her in Stellar's place.

Envy, a powerful sin, and deadly. With haughty eyes, being a false witness, and adding "a man who stirs up dissension among brothers" to your lifestyle, you have only four more chances to prove that the path you have chosen is not the wrong one.

Be wise in these next decisions, Shinn, or your budding life may be cut down short, at the height of your prime.

-Author's Note: Rey is still OOC a little, but I see him as the philosophical person who doesn't really care but is very insightful, and also the person who, because he doesn't care, can put up with Shinn's crap. Our boy has finally really admitted that he has a crush on Cagalli, or is it more than a crush? And what does Cagalli think on the issue? Why am I asking you? Please comment and let me know how you feel, any questions, concerns, or ideas are welcome. Critiques are always helpful as long as they aren't flames, because summer is here.-