Title: An Unexpected Surprise
Summary: AU Post-New Moon, Bella never jumped so Alice never had her vision and Edward still thought Bella was alive, so there was no reason for him to die. So they both goes on with their lives until Bella has enough and go visits some of the Cullens friends.
Rating: Teen
Warning: I'm not an American, I'm a 15-year old girl from Sweden but I have a A in English so I think you will understand, but I know I will make a lot of mistakes but don't stop reading beacause of that. This is a work in progress so if you liked this chapter, keep on waiting to the next chapter!
I don't own any of these characters. Stephenie Meyer owns all of it!

READ!: My program is still not working, but I will tell you when it does!

Chapter six: Lost In Myself

It felt like life was just getting harder and harder each day, maybey it was. Since the day Edward left I'd thought the pain would be the same. How stupid could I be? The pain was just growing bigger and bigger. That was not what I had expected, even if what Jake had said was true -that everybody knew that I had put up a charade this past months- I would keep it up. Like notning has happend, I wanted it to be like it used to. I don't like when stuff changes.

"Had a good time with Jake today?" Charlie asked when we ate. I had made wok with noddles. It wasn't his favourite but he thought it was okay, he didn't complain after all. And by the way, it was good with a change. That's okay. Switching food routins once in a while is just good beacuase when you eat the same food all the time it dosen't taste good, but if you change more often it makes the food taste better. Something I had learn from Grandma Swan when she used to be here in my older childhood. Now she's dead.

"Good, I guess"

"What did you guys do? He seemed a little angry. Were you to having a fight?"

"No, no, no Dad. Promise. We were just discussing things." I defended both of us. He seemed to belive it. I hope he did beacuase I was telling the truth this time.

"Like?" He wouldn't give up. I would bet my own life that Billy and Charlie had made some kind of a deal that they would try to get some info of what Jake and I were talking about. Sure Billy knew about the whole vampire-werewolf thing but Charlie didn't. And that wasn't the only thing we talked about, even if it was the most popular subject when it came to me and Jake. We could talk about sport, even if I isnn't the most athletic person, but Jake sure is.

"That's none of your buissnes" I said, maybey a little to harsh. But he didn't mind.

He knew all to good to not poke in my private life.

"Fine" He grumbled, lost in his thoughts. Probably trying to figure out what Jake and I talked about that was so much of a secret.

After a couple minutes Charlie seemed to be back in reality again.

"So how's school?" He asked curious. Maybey he was tryning to get some info from there too. I had notning to hide in school so why lie?

"It's acutally kind of good nowdays" I said as I stood up to take Charlie's and my dish.

"You're done?" I asked. He nodded while he wipe himself clean around his mouth.

"What do you mean with `actually´ ?". I knew he was going to ask that. I started to fill up the sink while I thought of a good way to tell him.

"You know I had it a bit tough lately. But it's starting to pass now." That last one was totally a lie. It was getting worse and worse everyday. But since Charlie always wanted me to be with Jacob I thought it would be a good idéa to make him think that Jake had a chane on me and to make Charlie happy 'cause I hadn't been the only one who was sad. Jake had said it to. I hadn't been fooling anyone with my charade.

"Oh, good to see that you are making progress then" He said, I could feel his eyes on my back when I made the dishes.

Charlie had already left the table when I was done so I said good night and went to my rom, but I wasn't tired so I took up a book that I was almost done reading; Wuthering Heights.

I had been so wrong about me not being tired. I almost fell asleep immediatley and the following weeks went slowly as I thought of the idea to help Carlisle or not.

I wanted so badly but didn't know how. How did he thought I could help?

Honestly, I'm a ordinary girl and they are fucking vampires! Seriously, a three year old could figure out that it was insane and crazy, if they knew that vampires exist.

So what if I did help them? What would it give to me? Sure I would get to meet them again (hopefully) and feel loved a little moment, but what happens after that? I know.

They would screw me like they did last time and leave me alone, nobody to talk to, to love, to laugh with, to thank for they lived -or well, at least half lived. But who should I live for? There's no reson to live without love or future. Right?

Sure I had Jake, but it just didn't feel the same. As I had said to him a few weeks ago straight to his face, that he was like a half Edward. He filled me with love and happiness. But it wasn't enough. And God, trust me. If I could take it back I would. You have no idea how bad I feel for that. The look on his face..To much..

EPOV

The wind slapped me in the face as I ran from the strangers among the trees -they were probably hikers from what I had seen- but of course I didn't feel the so called pain as it hit me in the face.

The scent of fresh human blood so close. Way to close. I barely made it out from from there without snappning their heads off.

But since I had left Bella I had tortured myself with human blood, not drinking it. Just so I could feel the undescribable scent which caused my throat to burn more than ever. It's imposssible to describe it perfectly, but the closest after `burning´ it's, well it feels like somebody has scratched on your throat from inside for like a million years. and then when the wound is unable the heal somebody drains the wound in acid so it burns the hell out of you. But that isn't enough. You have to multiply the pain probably a thousand time before you can reach my level.

And guess what, so much pain isn't enough to make me forgive for what I have done to my Bella. And I bare it every day. Just for her. To make me feel bad, horrible, awful, like a monster, a demon. Or what I really are. A blood-drinking vampire.

I still feed on animals, but not as often as before, now it's about once a month so the pain when I'm around humans become stronger. I actually try to be around humans so much as I could just to feel it burn on my throat. That's the way I let myself suffer in sorrow. If Carlisle found out about this he would be crazy. He would think that it would be so irresponsible of me to play with human life this way, but I didn't care. I didn't have a reson to live. Or well, I did. But I still couldn't be with her, so it dosen't count anyway. And Esme would probably cry tearless sobs if she found out. She dosen't want me to suffer like this. She cares to much, and loves me. God, I wish they never finds out.

I don't have a resident and I have left my family so I can be alone, so they don't disturb me with there depressing, forgiving thoughts. I wasn't the only one who had lost someone in September 14th last year. We all had. As fast as I was around my family they started pleading me that I would forgive them and so we could move back to her. Espacially Jasper. Of all my family's thoughts, it was his that made me think about it. But I refused and they accepted it. We had made a deal that we would never move back as much as we all wanted. It was for Bellas' safe and health.

There isn't any good for a human girl to be with a vampire boy. Only accidens and love. That was what had brought me to the decison to leave. If I truly loved Bella I couldn't let her be with me. Always in danger, never safe. If I loved her enough I would had the strength to stay away from her, for her to have a normal life with a normal boyfriend (which I hoped she had). And I had that strength, just beacuase I loved her so much. I loved her more then my own life.

I stopped on the top of a mountin to sit on a stone. The stone was hard, cold and empty just as me. My second soulmate maybey? 'Ha-ha'. You got some humor there Edward!

I closed my eyes to feel the wind as it blew through my hair. That I could feel.

Eventully I opend my eyes, only to find the sun on it's way down. It reminded me of Bella. The half sun that was visible now could be her eyes when she was to tired to have her eyes open . When she jumped between awake and asleep.

The bright yellow color would just be Bella, no reson. It didn't need a reson. She was just so happy when we were together.

The sunbeams could be her hair when the wind blew through it, like mine did right now. But her hair was brown, my hair was red and the sun was yellow.

And then it was the warmth. She was just always warm. Even if it was raining. Her skin would still be warm and soft against mine while mine was hard and cold forever.

Wherever I end up I'll always find something to do that I am reminded of Bella.

If I go to the Sahara desert I will just compare the heat to Antarctic. Her warm skin compared to my cold skin.

* . * . * . * . * . * . * . * . * . * . *

Five days later:

These last couple of days had been the same. Boring and sad. I wanted to know more about Bella, how she lived, was she happy? Or had I brought more pain to her, 'cause I had sure as hell brought more pain to me.

I needed advice, and since Emmett would just jock it away and Carlisle probably worked I only had one option.

"Ey Ed-man, how you doin?" I heard from the other end of my phone. I sighed in disbelief

"Jazz, don't ever call me that again" I threatened him.

"Sorry, but seriously, how are you? I haven't talked to you for months! I've missed you man."

"Perfect! Life is wonderful, birds chippering, the sun is shining and I sparkle! How do you think Jasper?" If he missed my ironi he was more stupid than I thought, but I knew Jazz was way smarter than me. Literally. "Sorry, man. But I'm a total wreck. I torture myself Jasper. I'm sick. I need help"

"Don't apologize, it was stupid of me to ask that. I shouldn't have asked. Sorry again. But what can help you with? I'm sorry to say this, but I don't think anybody can help you."

Great, that goes my hope.

"I was hoping you wouldn't say that." I took a deep breath even if I didn't need it, but it was hard for me to say this to anybody except for Bella, she was the only one I could open up for. "But I thought you maybey could give me some advice, I just need help Jasper. I'm desperate! I'm losing it. I can't bare the pain anymore. It hurts to much."

"Aaw man, just you saying this breaks my heart. Sure I will help. Anytime, anywhere. We are brothers, remember? Anything for you bro!"

"Thanks Jazz, I'm glad to hear that. The first positive thing that has happen to me for a very long time."

Jazz just let out a low sigh and started babbling abort something.

"Edward, you're still there?" Jasper called from the other line. "I really hope so or elsee I've been talking to myself"

"Yeah, I'm here. Just lost in my thoughts. Sorry. What were you saying?"

"I just propose that maybey we could talk man to man. It would be easier for you. Is that okay?"

"Um, yeah. Just promise me one thing?"

"Absolutley" He promised

"Do not freak out when you see me. I'm a mess, honestly. My clothes are all ripped apart. I bet I've leaves in my hair, my shoes are gone and I'm depressed, you will see it yourself when you come. When will you come actually?"

"Man, no good at all?"

"Nope"

"You sound terrible, I'll be there as soon as possible. I'll just say bye to Alice. Where are you?"

"Do you remeber our place in Montana? Twenty years ago?"

"Of course I do. We had so much fun there. What about it?"

"Well, I'm there."

"Oh, okay. Good, I'm not far away. I'm in Canada. See ya in two hours."

"Perfect, see ya bro."

And now I just had to wait. Our place -or well Jaspers', Emmetts' and mine actually- was a little cave that we had fond in the mountains years ago. No human could get here, it was between two cracks. So nobody knew about it.

I really hoped Jasper would keep his promise, 'cause I don't want him to freak.

I can't wait to see his expression. He won't recognize me.

My mind wander away as usual, one of the many things that Bella and I had in common.

I started to think of the first day we met.

I had thought that this was about to be pretty much as the day before. A boring High School day. I had been so much wrong.

As soon as she had entered the room something drag me to her. First I thought it was my "vampire-sense" that wanted to drink her sweet blood. And when she passed the fan, her scent just slapped me right in the face. I had never felt this for anybody before. Espacially not a human.

She was seated next to me -the only spot left- and under that whole hour I thought of ways to kill her. If I knew that we would fall in love, I would have killed myself just beacuse I wanted to kill her.

I thought I could snap all of my classmates heads of including Mr. Banner and then kill her in silence. Nobody would know, but I would need to get the hell out of there after that. But now when I think of it it may seem a little suspiciously. The principal and the secretary both have a class schedule of which students is in which class, and if all my classmates were dead and I would be the only one survived? Maybey it would be a little to suspicious.

But I'd made my way through the whole hour and then I had run away to our friends in Alaska, the Denalis. I had talked to Tanya and she had thought I should go back, she also thought something good could happen between me and this human girl. We both knew that I didn't belive it, but we didn't say anything about it.

The following week I had went back to Forks. I could sense her scent in the corridor so I knew she was here, I would never make through another hour with her if I didn't take some deep breathes. I knew they wouldn't help, but humans did this when they were nervous and I guess it had followed me to my vampire life. It was regular to me.

As I already knew she was sitting at our desk and drawing. I drag out my chair without her to look up. I must have scared her last week, I hadn't been very polite, I had leaned away from her as much as possible. As if she smelled disgusting, when she smelled wonderful in reality.

For the first time I noticed that I couldn't read her thoughts. What the fuck?

If I couldn't get some info about her myself, she would need to talk.

I introduced me and she too but as Bella. We talked about the weather and about her family, but notning about her. Except for that she did not like anything cold or wet.

The weeks went on and Bella and I grew a lot bigger bond. Since the day I got back from Alaska I had been watching her sleep. The whole night.

And one evening in May, I snuck in to her rom while she was talking to her Mom, she now knew that I was a vampire and strangely enough, so she did not care. She liked it.

We had leaned towards each other very slowly and then my lips gently touched hers for the first time, and then again. Soon her hands were tangled in my hair and I gripped her hips to drag her closer to me. I guess you could say our kissing were a lot more violent now, I traced my tounge under her bottiom lip and waited for her to let me inside her. She let me in and my tounge was inside her, our tounges played but at any second now I would force myself to stop before I would lose control completly. That night was the best night in my life. She was now mine.

"Why the hell Montana of all places?" Jaspers' voice echoed in the tiny cave I sat in.

Of course I was dragged out of my daydreaming and got back to reality.

"It's nice to see you to bro" He just smiled. "Well I needed to be alone for a while to think. Well, I've been here a few days." I hoped he thought I was been serious now, when he knew how long I've been here.

"Okay, but what the fuck Edward?"

"What?" I asked confused. He gave me a hint, he scanned my body from head to toe.

"Ey, promise breaker. You wouldn't freak out about how I looked! I told you I was a mess!"

"I'm not freaking out, I'm eyeing you." He smiled at how he managed to reverse the words so it sounded like he hadn't broken the promise.

"Yeah. yeah" I answered. I didn't care about that anymore.

"You look like hell!"

"Told ya so" I mutterd, I had warned him. When would he shut the fuck up? This wasn't his usual behavior. Sure he was lovning, caring, teasing, and irritating sometimes (the two last ones was mostly Emmetts' niche). But wasn't this a little over the top?

"I know that, but please Edward. Get a grip of yourself! This isn't healthy for anyone, and not for a vampire either."

Even if I didn't need to do this I did it anyway, it just felt like I needed to do that. I inhalad and exhaled deeply before I replied. If I wouldn't do this I probably would be launching myself at him. I closed my eyes, I didn't know if I could open my eyes to look at him. I didn't know what I would do.

"Jazz, please. Just let me talk. Would'ya?" My eyes still closed.

"Oh, sorry. Sure Ed. Keep talking. I shouldn't start talking about that if it wasn't for your own health. We all mi-". Before he could say anything else it was my turn to eye him, and finally he was getting the picture and he stayed quiet.

"If you are done talking now, could I have a minute to talk?".

He nodded.

"So, I called you beacuse I wanted to talk about Bella".

"Yeah, that was what I thought." He sat down now on the other side of the cave.I laughed a little. I was so easy to look through.

"Every day since we left, I've felt empty. Like there's on reson to live, but I can't give up the little life I have left. Not when she's still alive. But I don't want to live without her. Do you see my problem?". I took a minute or two for him to anser, but it felt like a year.

"Um, half of it" I gave him a confused look, which he understand and explained to me.

" But I don't understand why you just visit her?" He finished

"Jasper, if I visit her I will never be able to leave her again and I can't be with her. It's to dangerous, she could get killed. And I won't let that happend."

"Beacuse of me" He whispered looking down on the dirty grund we sat on.

"What?" I asked shocked. I did see his point but I was in shock, why would he bring it up?

"I almost killed the love of your life and it's my fault that you can't be with her." He was still whispering. He didn't dare to look at me, he thought I was going to rip his throat out or something like that.

"It's not your fault. Listen to me now. There's nothing good about you almost killed Bella. It only made me realize that there is no way for Bella and me to be together unless she's immortal."

"Then why don't you just make her a vampire?" Why wouldn't he get it? Oh that's right. I'm the freak who is able to read everybody's thoughts. Almost everybody.

I sighed. "Beacuse I don't want to end her life. I don't want to be a selfish monster who ended a innocent girls' life for my own good. I just won't. "

"Then just let somebody else do it. Carlisle would surely agree with that".

"I can't let that happen either. I would always have that in the back of my mind. I was the one who knew that Bella was been transformed to a vampire. And I didn't stop it, beacause I wanted her to be one. But still not."

He finally got it. But when he answered it sounded something like an idiot would say.

"Dude, you got a big problem." His eyes were almost attached on me and bigger than God knows what.

"Tell me about it" I mutter. To lost in my thoughts to focus on the rest of our conversation. Jasper stayed with me a couple of days before he went back to Canada where Alice waited for him. At least he had somebody waiting for him.

BPOV

"Isabella?" woke me up from my daydreaming. "I'm sorry sir, what were you saying?" I excused myself. I could feel the heat under my cheeks as they got warmer and redder.

"Class is out. You can go home now." I quickly looked around, only to find me and Mr. Banner alone. He had already packed his stuff in his briefcase and was about to lock the door to go home.

"Oh, sorry. I was lost in my thoughts." I gather all my stuff in a pile and was almost out of the door when he stopped me.

"Isabella, is it anything wrong? You have been pretty distracted These last weeks. Is this about Edward? You know you could always talk to the school counselor". Everybody in Forks knew when Edward and I were offically boyfriend and girlfriend and when we had offically broken up. You couldn't escape news like that in a small town like this. It's impossible.

"No, no. Of course not. I've just have a lot on my mind. School's almost done for the year so I'm thinking about my grades and stuff. I haven't been sleeping so good either. That's all. No need to bring in the school counselor" I assured him. My lie was too good to be true. I belived it myself. Of course I was thinking about Edward, and Carlisle. His email.

"Okay, but if you ever want to talk about anything you can just go to Charlotte."

I didn't have to ask, my face already look like a question mark.

"The school counselor?"

"Oh right" I half smiled, and so did he.

The drive went slow as usaul. The rain rushed down the road, as it had a deadline to meet.

When I finally made it to the driveway I took a deep breath before I put my cap on and ran as if it were between life and death.

I almost shaked myself dry like a dog does. But only my jacket almost got dry. Everything else was soaken wet.

I freshed myself up and went to my bed. I needed to think. The only thing that was on my mind. Edward. Carlisle had said that he was desperate for my help, but I didn't see how it was possible for me to help. Why hadn't I taken the time to write back to Carlisle? Beacause I didn't know what I would say. Afraid of how he would react. But now I did.

I'm so sorry for the slow update! But I haven't been home for like four days and when I did come home I had to clean all my clothes and pack again for my other summerplace. And we had a "kid-weekend" so every kid in my family (we're three) had one friend or two with us so we did all these games and went swimming in the lake and stuff like that. I came home yesterday so I wrote it done so I hope you like it!

The next chapter should be up in a few days or a week, I don't know. But don't stop reading! Bella is finally going to write back to Carlisle in the next chatper! ;)

Btw, do you like when I'm writing for someone elses perspectiv? Or should I hold on to Bellas'?

XOXO Alexandra