Chapter 6: Sloth
Disclaimer: I only own any OCs I happen to throw in.
Shinn watched some TV, not quite tired yet, until he realized nothing good was on. After acknowledging there wasn't much he wanted to do or was in the mood for he decided to call it a night.
He trudged into the bathroom and brushed his teeth, then plopped down on his bed, not bothering to change clothes. He knew he should check his money supply and see where he was at after the splurge at the casino, but he didn't have the desire.
'I'll do it tomorrow.' He told himself. He started to drift off to sleep, a blond tomboy on his mind.
The next day was Sunday, and Shinn slept in until late afternoon. He assumed Cagalli would wait until Monday to deliver his suspension papers, since they technically didn't take effect until the next workday. He tossed and turned, staying in bed as long as he could manage before his growling stomach made him get up in search of breakfast.
He went into the kitchen to assess his options. The more he looked around, the less he wanted to make anything. His stomach lurched, growling as he scowled down at it. He sighed and threw on some fresh clothes, brushing his teeth and rubbing his eyes.
He raised an eyebrow at the mirror, but decided he didn't always have to look sexy whenever he went out. Besides, it was just for breakfast.
He opened his wallet and grimaced, apparently he had spent more money than he would have liked the other day at the casino. However, with his stomach going haywire and the thought of preparing food taking forever, he decided he had enough to run by a fast food joint.
'Stupid greed. Why do I always want more? Why can't I just be satisfied? I'm gonna end up homeless if I keep this up.' He thought to himself as he drove.
He went to a drive-through and picked up a greasy meal, already eating it as he drove home. He wolfed it down quickly and went to throw the bag away when he noticed the garbage can was full. He stuffed it down anyway, not wanting to mess with it.
He tripped on another shirt as he made his way to the couch and cursed. He surveyed his apartment and noted it needed to be cleaned up, but the TV was more alluring.
As he flipped through the channels, he knew he had stuff to do around the house. He had to wash the dishes, do laundry, empty the trash, and clean the house. However, his muscles refused to do anything but press the buttons on the remote control.
'I'll do it tomorrow, before Cagalli comes.' He thought. He furrowed his brows. 'Why would I care what she thinks about my place? If she thinks it's a mess that's her problem, she has maids to clean up around her huge mansion while she frolics around with Athrun.'
He kept flipping through the channels because the only thing that seemed to be on was romantic movies and shows. He wanted to watch something with action, or something funny. Every channel seemed to have some kind of love theme. Bachelors and bachelorettes, rock stars and celebrities looking for love on reality shows, romantic movies, soap operas, and moral stories.
He sighed and gave up. He had some gaming systems set up with plenty of action games to go along with them, so he decided he'd try to beat the ones he was far along in.
After spending a few hours and only getting angrier, he gave up and wondered what to do next. His overflowing laundry basket practically screamed at him, but he ignored it. He was on suspension; he might as well have fun before he had to go back to work. Besides, it was the weekend, he wasn't supposed to do any housework on the weekends, he was supposed to enjoy the two days he wasn't working.
After contemplating his options, he decided to head out to the beach. He normally didn't go alone, however, and so thought about who he could bring with him. Usually he'd call up Luna and tell her to wear a skimpy bathing suit, or sometimes Meyrin when Luna wasn't up to doing anything.
Both girls were out.
He practically threw Stellar out, and asking her to come to the beach with him would only send mixed signals. Besides, he didn't want to listen to her talk in the third person about what could be bothering him.
Stellar was out.
He didn't even think about asking Rey because one, he was suspicious his friend might actually be gay, two, he would only talk about Cagalli the whole time, and three, Rey wasn't the beach type anyway, and it wouldn't be fun if they just sat there.
Rey was out.
"Ugh, I wish I had cooler friends." He grumbled to himself. He didn't want to go alone, but he didn't really want company either. No whining babes and boring friends, but then what did that leave him with?
He didn't have anyone else to hang out with, he couldn't stand Zala or Kira, Cagalli was definitely out of the question, and he didn't bother getting to know anyone else. He had a few acquaintances, but no one else to drag to the beach.
'Well, there goes that.' He thought. He glanced at the clock; it was late in the day. He had wasted time flipping through channels and playing video games, so now there wasn't much he could do to have fun.
He slumped down on the couch again. He had a few movies, he could probably pop one in. His stomach growled again and he groaned. He didn't feel like making dinner and was out of the quick and easy meals he usually ate. He decided to head out again to get some dinner and then hit the bar. Maybe he would find what he was looking for.
He went to the normal restaurant he liked and ate his fill, only tipping below ten percent because he was running low on funds. He headed over to the usual bar and ordered a beer. It had been a few days since he'd come, but there was nothing new.
A few girls were eyeing him, but he didn't have any interest in them. He wondered why all of a sudden he felt so empty, but couldn't find anything to fill him back up. He blamed Rey for bothering him so much about Cagalli.
So what if he liked the blonde? She was clearly out of his league, which pissed him off even more. As much as the tomboy didn't like to admit it, she was high class and could only date high class. Athrun was a perfect choice because he was the son of a former chairman and one of the top ranked ZAFT soldiers.
Shinn was just a ZAFT Elite, it gave him some status, even a shot at being a commander, but there was no war going on. He had no ties to government or politics, and he had no interest in either. There was nowhere to go because nobody wanted to start another war, and he didn't dare ruin that peace just because he was bored.
Besides, even though they had a lot in common, she wasn't his type. He dated hot chicks that he could ignore while only pretending to listen as they gabbed about their day or anything new. He would get them a few gifts which bought him some sex, and someone to drag around when he felt like doing something else. When he was bored, he dumped them. On the side he usually had casual sex with any female who would hook up with him that was hot enough to risk getting caught with. There was never real interest or feelings; the deepest he ever got was with Luna.
And now she was history. He finally pissed her off enough that she wanted nothing to do with him. Normally when they broke up she would come crawling back or he'd decide she suffered enough. It was an on-and-off relationship, but he imagined it would have lasted a bit longer than this.
Stellar wasn't really a relationship either, she was more a spur-of-the-moment, caught-in-the-action fling. He didn't want to date her because she was too high maintenance, plus she got annoying after talking in third person long enough. And of course Meyrin was nothing, because she had the hots for Athrun.
So now he didn't have a chick in the wings.
Or did he?
Was what Rey said true? Was he using Meyrin just like she was using him? Did he have the hots for Athrun's girl, just like she had the hots for Cagalli's man?
He didn't like to think he had a crush on Cagalli. He had plenty of reasons why, she really wasn't his usual date, she was an authority figure (his boss, really), they argued too much, and he still held a grudge against her family.
He knew he could rationalize through all his reasons, but he wanted to hold on to some anger, some part of him in the past. He lost his family; his parents and little sister, he didn't want to lose himself as well.
While the thought was a bit exaggerated, he figured that if he let go of his anger and rage he would let go of himself and would be something completely different. He thought that he would lose whatever ties to his dead family he had left.
When he was angry, it was because of what happened to them, and he felt connected to them. He used that rage to fight which gave him an excuse to fuel his rage even more. If he let go, if he forgave, he would have no more excuses. He would have nothing. He was clinging to his anger because it was all he had left of his former life, with his family and friends before the war. He didn't know what he would do without it.
It was stupid and childish, but it was true. He knew he couldn't be angry forever. He knew he had to grow up and be mature one day. But he was afraid.
He clenched the glass of beer tightly, fighting the urge to fling it across the bar. He wanted to get in a fight, but knew it would solve nothing. He had nothing to do with his rage now, no war to use as an excuse to have it. What would be the harm in letting it go? He couldn't use it anymore; it was only causing him more problems anyway.
Why not forgive and forget?
"Hey stud, why are you sitting here all alone? Your girlfriend break up with you or something?" a girl asked as she slid onto the seat next to him.
He hesitated, but didn't want any casual sex tonight.
"No, I just wanted a night to myself." He said, hoping that would give her the hint to leave him alone.
She pouted but persisted. "Aw c'mon, you look a bit down. I could cheer you up." She drawled slyly.
"No thanks, I'm fine." He replied.
She frowned. "Hey, I see you in here all the time with a new chick. The one opening I get I take it, and now what? You've decided you're gay?"
His eyes widened. "I'm not gay. I'm just not in the mood right now."
He was surprised she was pushing so hard, even when he knew he didn't look his best. Did women like him that much?
"Not in the mood? But you're always in the mood! Look, my man won't put out, and some of my friends have been with you and told some great stories, so I figured we could help each other out here. It's just my luck the one time I offer you're 'not in the mood'." She grumbled.
"W-what?" he was stunned. So it was just sex she wanted. He couldn't wrap his head around the fact that a woman wanted to use him for sex instead of the other way around. He felt like a manwhore because of her words, and it stung.
"Whatever, I can see you're not on game tonight, I'll find someone else." She spat and left.
His eyes were wide but then he shook himself. 'That was…different. It's never happened like that before.' He thought. He realized how his life had become, all the one-night stands and flings. Using people and taking out his rage on anyone close enough. He shuddered. He felt like an animal.
'Maybe I really do need to change. I've made some pretty bad decisions, and now look at the mess I'm in. I lost my girlfriend, am about to lose my job, have almost no money left, and I keep pushing people away, people that could help me.' He wondered.
'But I don't know what to do. How do I completely change myself? Am I really that bad? Maybe I just need to work on a few things, like my anger and how I treat women. But I can't just change all of a sudden. It takes time. I really don't feel like changing just yet. I'll wait and talk to Rey and maybe even Luna when I get back to work. There's no point changing right now, with no one to see.' He decided.
He would wait, he would enjoy his suspension as much as he could and maybe talk to his friends about his attitude and any adjustments he could make. He was too lazy to start now, especially after the rut he put himself into. He would climb out of his hole some other day, when he was ready.
At least, that's what he kept telling himself.
Tsk, tsk. It seems your downward spiral is increasing in speed. Starting with pride, following into lust, after which turning to envy, then anger, coming to greed, and now sloth. Your "lying tongue" is now added to the wardrobe of the fallen, which needs only one final piece.
With these torrid emotions raging throughout your mind, your body has become corrupted. You have one more chance, Shinn Asuka. One more chance until there is no way to ever change. Your destiny awaits.
-Author's Note: Our poor young hero is falling to the depths, yet he has one more chance. Can Cagalli rescue him in time before it is too late? This chappy is rather short, but I hope the laziness gets across well enough. It's not just physically, it's emotionally as well. Anyways, please review and tell me what you think. Only one more chapter, maybe two if I feel up to it, left of Sin and Shinn, so stay tuned!-