Treasure Hunters
Author Notes: Yay! I'm so excited for this chapter! So excited I'm posting it a week earlier than scheduled!
Review response first!
LunaticV: I always thought Smoker would be the kind of guy who would be intimidated by homosexuality and especially m-preg. Thinking about other men being gay makes him think he could be gay, thinking about other men making babies makes him fear he could make a baby. As for talk of promotions, he probably knows that Coby is overly ambitious. He doesn't care about promotions himself, but he needs to keep Coby on board with his plan.
Disclaimer: Still don't own anything!
Chapter 7: Shoe
Suggested Track: "The Love Cats," The Cure; "Should Be Loved," Blue October
The archipelago had begun to spread itself before them before two weeks were out. Zoro could understand what Nami and Robin had said about the archipelago being a maze: now he could see bits and pieces of land breaking the wide, deep blue, and he could only wonder how deep and wide some of the land masses went. However, there had been no trouble yet, and Zoro wasn't planning on jinxing anything. Sanji had already put the entire crew on rations out of nervousness, and though everyone was still eating and the fish were still biting, the heat was steadily rising. Even Robin had not known about the terrible heat that hung in a haze over these islands, and it was miserable, humid, and sticky.
The heat had everybody down, except for Luffy. He barely even seemed to notice, and the only adjustment he made was removing his shirt. He sat happily bare-chested, his fingers drumming his tight, swollen middle, watching steam rise from the water. Other crew members were doing what they could to keep cool. Nami had broken out a kiddie pool and filled it with ice and seawater, and she and Usopp were down to bathing suits and sitting in it. Franky was down on the lowest deck, below the Soldier Dock, doing some repairs with a well-iced cola and a fan running to prevent his circuits from overheating. Robin was under a parasol with an iced drink, and Sanji was preparing a chilled gazpacho for lunch with frozen tomato juice cubes. Chopper was in his office reading under the bed where it was shady. Zoro was unstoppable, and he was, to the disgust of most of the crew, still training Gilly. Even as the rest of the crew tried to cool themselves, they could hear the stomping and slamming as they sparred in the muggy, sun-steamed crow's nest. Brook, who seemed immune to the heat, was watching and even assisting Zoro in demonstrations.
Gilly was taking a short break and wringing cold water on her head while Zoro and Brook quietly discussed what technique he wanted to teach next. Zoro and Brook were fully dressed but for their shoes, and Gilly was dressed in shorts and a tank top. She was still sweating bullets, but she watched intently as Zoro imitated Gilly's two-handed style with one sword, demonstrating something to him. He sheathed the sword on his belt next to two empty scabbards as he turned back to Gilly. Brook pulled his saber from his cane.
"Okay, Gil, pay very close attention," Zoro started, as Brook began haphazardly twirling around and giggling to himself behind Zoro. Gilly giggled right along. Zoro ignored the laughter. "We're going to practice our defense. This is a very important thing to learn if you're going to be a good duelist." Zoro continued to ignore Brook as he twirled and skipped his way in front of Zoro. "See, Gil, here on the Grand Line, you will meet many strange, ostentatious, and tricky swordsmen. No matter what your opponent is doing-" Brook suddenly turned and swung at Zoro. Without even turning, Zoro whipped out the sword and blocked the blow. "You have to be ready to defend yourself." He turned and smirked at Brook, before throwing him off. Brook chortled, as Gilly's jaw hung open.
"Daddy, you didn't even look!" Gilly squealed.
"I could hear him coming by the change in his biorhythm and the sound of his footsteps. They made his intent very clear the second he changed it." Zoro smirked, obviously pleased that he had impressed her. "Of course, that's another thing you have to remember. No matter what, if you're faced by another swordsman, never get distracted. You'll have to learn how to watch for these changes; a change in the smell of their sweat could be the only warning you have. Even if you think he's your friend, he could pull a blade on you at any second."
"Well, now, don't be afraid of everyone!" Brook cut in. "Yohohoho! Some people, even swordsmen, can be trusted! For example, you will never have to worry about myself or your Papa surprising you unless we're training."
"Right." Zoro rolled his eyes. "I guess you won't have to worry about being attacked by a true swordsman if I'm around," he added. "No true swordsman would pass up the opportunity to duel me just to hurt a little girl. Once you're bigger, you'll actually be challenged on your merits as a swordsman. However, you still need to pay attention to people who you think might hurt you. Whenever you carry your sword, even if it's a wooden sword, you are showing that you are prepared to fight. Besides that, you're a pirate, and you're sailing with us." Zoro smirked. "So, let me show you how you, with one sword, should block and throw off a blow."
The stomping began again, and Nami groaned. "It's so hot. How can he make his only daughter do that stuff?"
"Please, you've seen the man," Usopp grumbled. "He went swimming on Drum Island just to see if he could stand the cold."
"Someone should give the poor girl a reliever. I bet she'd appreciate a swim right about now," Robin stated absently. Luffy turned from the figurehead with a grin.
"Daddy to the rescue!" Luffy cheered, and shot himself up to the top of the rigging to enter the crow's nest. Robin giggled softly, and Usopp sighed.
"How is he going to put Zoro off training Gilly? Nothing stops Zoro's training! They're just going to argue with each other, and that can't be good news!"
"They never fight, Usopp, not since before Gilly was born," Nami reminded him. "It's probably because they're friends before lovers, and they agree on just about everything." Her grin shifted to sly. "And despite how we know Luffy is, Luffy knows Zoro better than Zoro knows himself. He can use that man like I use Sanji."
Gilly was watching both Brook and Zoro with sharp little eyes when Luffy entered. Brook and Zoro seemed to be standing quite still, with their arms folded and their eyes turned away. Gilly didn't even look at Luffy when he came in. Luffy could see a few bruises on her elbows from tumbling, and one on her head, and it was obvious (to him) that she was learning something. She had her sword sheathed, and her eyes darted between her opponents. Suddenly, Brook drew a wooden sword and swung over his head at her. Gilly drew her sword almost as quickly to block, pressing her palm to the blunt edge of the blade and positioning her legs to support herself even as he came down on her. Brook struck her hard, her knees bent as she tried to support the hit, and she tumbled to the ground. "Aw, poor little Gilly!" Brook crowed, dancing victoriously, as Gilly rubbed the new bruise forming on her knee. Zoro dusted her off, and checked her over quickly. Brook stopped spinning. "Is she okay?"
"Nothing major. I saw what happened, kiddo." Zoro took a damp washcloth from the bench and dabbed her knee. "See, you were supporting the blade, but you need to support the hilt just as much. When you're bigger and fighting one-handed, you won't want to have your hand on the blade at all, so you need to put your strength there. You need to have that arm at the right angle so you can use your strength to its fullest." Zoro smiled at her. "Got it?"
"I got it," Gilly mumbled, rubbing her head.
"Aw, Zoro," Luffy chuckled, as he wrapped his arms and one leg around Zoro from behind. "Be nice to her, eh? It's hot. It's really hot. You should let Gilly take a break." Zoro grinned nervously as Luffy pressed himself into his back and traced circles on his thigh like a slutty high school girl. Brook chortled eagerly and began jumping up and down in place.
"Oh, Master Zoro, do go on! Do go on!" Brook was utterly wiggling with glee at Luffy's tantalization of the swordsman. Gilly stuck her tongue out in childish disgust.
"Are you gonna start kissing?"
"Sure, why not?" Luffy slid in front of Zoro and began to kiss his mouth. Zoro loosened up, sheathed his sword with one hand and wrapped his arms around Luffy. He couldn't resist the feel of Luffy's warm hands on his sweaty back. It sent chills running down his spine. As they continued to kiss, Luffy slowly spun Zoro around, and as Luffy squeezed one hand to massage Zoro's neck, the other hand slid to Zoro's lower back. Brook continued to giggle wildly as Luffy sucked and teased Zoro's lips. Gilly was covering her eyes and had her tongue stuck out. However, when he'd turned Zoro away from Gilly, Luffy waved his hand at Gilly and Brook behind Zoro's back. Gilly, who was covering her eyes and ignoring her fathers' tender moment, didn't see, but Brook did, and he could interpret it clearly: 'Scoot.'
Brook picked Gilly up and rushed from the gym to give Zoro and Luffy privacy. He knew that every once in a while, Luffy had a stroke of genius, and these moments had to be appreciated. This was one that would make everyone happy.
Zoro pushed Luffy against the wall, drawing back briefly to look at Luffy's face. Luffy's lips were moist from Zoro's tongue, his body damp with sweat. He brushed a strand of Luffy's hair back from his face and pulled off his hat. "Sneaky bastard," Zoro managed to swear as he pulled his lips back from Luffy's, still grinning as his body tensed in their embrace.
"It's so hot. I'm so hot," Luffy crooned, as he slid a sweaty hand down the back of Zoro's pants and the other through Zoro's hair. "Looking at you in all those clothes makes me feel hot. Take them off."
"Hey there, strangers!" Usopp laughed as Gilly clung to Brook's back and Brook descended the ropes. "It seems like we barely see you anymore! Hey, Brook, is it hotter up there than it is out here?"
"It's so hot in there, it makes my skin crawl!" Brook replied as he set foot on the deck.
"Or it would if I had skin!" Usopp and Brook chorused, before breaking into laughter together. Gilly shuddered and jumped off of Brook's back.
"Ick!" She stuck her tongue out, and toddled towards the wading pool. She stared at the melting ice for a moment, at Nami in her bikini, and thought for a moment. Finally, she jumped in, clothes and all, and rolled around in the water to chill herself. Nami laughed.
"Rest up, kid. You're lucky you got out of lessons early," she teased. "I can't imagine how you can put up with that heat! I'm not doing anything at all, and I'm feeling awful."
"Still, Nami? You know, you keep complaining about feeling sick, but you didn't see a doctor last we were in port," Robin mused. "If I recall, you were ill even then."
"I'm not that sick," Nami snapped back, flapping an irritated hand at Robin. "I just feel nauseous. Now quit talking about it."
"Quit talking about what?" Sanji asked as he approached Nami and Robin from the galley with a tray of gazpacho. He distributed bowls to Robin and Nami, a smaller one for Gilly, and then for the men of the crew.
"Don't worry about it," Nami replied sharply. She took a sip of the soup, and gave Sanji a thumbs-up. "Good job! This would be great with tortilla chips."
"I'd make some up for you, but I don't think I could take frying in that kitchen right now." Sanji wiped his brow. "It seems to be much cooler on the lower decks, but Franky's still sweatin' his ass off. And Chopper- well, Chopper could definitely use a few minutes in the ice. I'm pretty sure he's stewing in his skin."
"Oh, Tony's not doing well?" Brook looked over. "If someone held his head over the water, no doubt he'd be alright in that little pool."
"Sounds like it might be a plan," Robin agreed quietly. "I suppose it wouldn't hurt me to get in the water… You know, Nami, I've an idea. I'll run a bath with cold water."
"Is there even a cold faucet in the bath?" Nami asked, raising her brow. Robin smiled sweetly.
"I don't need one." Robin stretched her fingers out. "I suppose a bucket brigade from the kitchen will suffice." Nami and Sanji both looked on with awe as a trail of hands wrapped around them from the galley to right beside them and grabbed the bucket they had used to fill the swimming pool. It passed the bucket into the galley, and the hands vanished. Sanji quickly rushed to follow them, and saw the hands lined up the ladder to the bathroom, passing buckets of water and empty buckets back and forth. He walked back to the deck with his hand on his head.
"That's like a scene from a horror novel… but it's still so ingenious it's beautiful. If I didn't know better, I'd think I was hallucinating." He flopped into a deck chair and sighed. "So, what are you planning on doing with that cold bath?"
"I thought that the men with their Devil Fruit powers and Franky's lack of buoyancy could enjoy the nice shallow pool, and Nami, Gilly, and myself could enjoy the nice cold bath." Robin smiled a bit. "Even if I am cursed, surely I can trust Nami to keep me from drowning." As if on cue, a trail of hands appeared with Chopper passing between their palms. Nami rose and left the pool to let the fleur-trail dump Chopper in the shallow water. Chopper, who had been apparently asleep, jolted to awareness and gasped in a panic.
"Can't swim, can't swim!"
"Come on, Gilea, your clothes are soaked through with seawater." Robin picked the sopping toddler up and held her at arm's length. Sanji, Usopp, and Brook glanced at each other as the crew's women vanished up the stairs, and all thought at the same time.
"You know, since the water's cold, there will be no steam to obscure our view," Brook pointed out. Sanji grunted and kicked Brook in the chin.
"Watch it, creep!" Sanji snapped.
"Hey, why are you getting so upset? You know you were thinking the same thing!" Usopp barked. Sanji grunted, and took a drag on his cigarette.
"They've got Gil with them. You can't talk about peeking on girls if you're talking about peeking on little girls! Otherwise, I'd be there in a heartbeat." Brook simply laughed at Sanji.
"What if we don't look at the little one?"
"Nobody looks at the girls in the bath, damn it," Sanji declared, folding his arms. "As proof of my word, even I will not go watch Robin and Nami naked in the bath!" Brook and Usopp laughed; they found it very hard to believe him when his pupils appeared to be shaped like hearts and blood ran from his nose.
"So, are you going to do it tonight?" Robin, who lounged in the bath, asked Nami. Nami was scrubbing Gilly's back, and Gilly was cleaning between her toes. Nami glanced at Gilly, thinking, and sighed.
"Yes, we were talking about it," Nami replied reluctantly. "I suppose it's only fair."
"Don't worry, I'll help you set it all up," Robin assured her as she pulled herself from the bath. Gilly continued to naively scrub her legs and front. "Now, what is the plan?"
"We arranged our night watches side by side, so we can use all that time, and then your watch is after that. If all goes well, most everyone else will be asleep, so we can have all the privacy we want." Nami smiled distantly and began to rub the dirt from behind Gilly's ears. "He says he's got everything else covered. I'll trust him."
"Well, well. That's surprising." Robin smiled, and seated herself behind Nami. "I'll help you with your hair. A girl deserves the chance to feel pretty once in a while."
"Wow, thank you, Robin!" Nami smiled. "I know it sounds silly, but it's supposed to be special."
"Of course it is." Robin smiled knowingly. Gilly glanced over her shoulder.
"What are you talking about?" Nami and Robin both giggled at the little toddler.
"It's a big-girl secret. Nothing for you to worry about," Nami chirped. As Robin washed Nami's back, Gilly scrambled around to clean Robin's back.
"I can be in on big-girl secrets too!" Gilly whined. "I do things like a big girl!"
"Gilly, it's a super, super secret," Robin replied over her shoulder. "You wouldn't be allowed to tell anybody. Not your Daddy, not your other Daddy, not Uncle Usopp or Uncle Franky. Not even Doc Chopper."
"Secret-secrets are not fun unless they're shared with everyone," Gilly retorted.
"This secret is not meant to be shared," Robin replied gently. "Isn't that right, Nami?"
"Yeah… that's right." Nami nodded. "Anyway, Robin, why don't you ever…?"
"You mean, have a date night?" Robin smiled softly. "Who do you think I would have a date night with?"
"Well… just for fun. Nothing serious! I couldn't see you being with any of the available men on the ship," Nami giggled. "Maybe Franky, emphasis on the maybe."
"It'd certainly pass the time," Robin remarked to herself. "But I've had men in love with me before, and I find it most unpleasant."
"Oh? Are you saying you'd prefer a woman?" Nami teased.
"Not at all. I simply don't like the thought of being protected by someone and indebted to them in that way." Robin shrugged, and began to comb Nami's hair out. "I suppose I can understand you from that standpoint. You don't want to be protected, that's why you try to pretend everything is exactly the same as it was."
"Things are the same. That's exactly the point. Only one thing has changed in the slightest, and I'm not sure how much more needs to change." Nami held as still as she could as Robin's fingers nimbly worked through her hair.
"Do you like the change thus far?" Robin asked.
"Yes." Nami giggled. "I like it a lot. Gilly, stop pestering Robin and come over here. I'm going to give you special nice-looking hair."
"Oi, Gilly! You don't look ready for a fight!" Zoro laughed as he saw the three ladies emerging from the bathhouse in their towels. Gilly had her hair smoothed into little curls and waves down her shoulders. Nami's hair was neatly swept into a braided bun on the side of her head, and Robin's hair was done the only way Gilly could- little pigtails at the nape of her neck. "Thanks for keeping an eye on her, Robin." Zoro scooped her up and hugged her.
"Oh, don't take her back to keep training!" Nami sighed, but Zoro simply laughed.
"Are you kiddin'? Nah, it's time for her afternoon nap." Zoro set her down. "Let's race to see who can get to the cabin first!"
"Yay!" Gilly cheered, and ran off. Zoro chuckled, and leaned against the wall.
"She wins. Good night." Zoro propped himself against the wall and closed his eyes. Robin and Nami stared for a moment as he began to snooze, and slipped away with their towels tight around them.
"That must be what he's like in the afterglow. Wonder where Luffy is?" Nami mused aloud.
"No doubt, asleep already in the crow's nest," Robin chuckled. She couldn't help wondering how anybody could be as easy as he was.
Luffy returned from the crow's nest still tired, and the crew enjoyed a dinner together of cold sushi and chilled soba. The evening was starting to cool down, and after dinner, most of the crew went to the lounge or to sleep to prepare for their evening watch. Sanji, who had not eaten dinner with the others, approached Brook as he took up his violin to play some evening music.
"Oi." Sanji murmured in his ear. "I'll get you a pair of panties from one of the girls on the ship if you do me a favor."
"I'm listening," Brook replied, keeping his voice even as he continued to play.
"At around 11 tonight, play some romantic music. Maybe something good for dancing to. Just for fifteen minutes or so. Small favor, but it's really important to me."
"I understand, Sanji. I'll entertain you during your watch," Brook chuckled. "Panties in advance?"
"Panties on satisfaction, Brook. Panties on satisfaction." Sanji patted his shoulder and strolled away.
This was not the first odd happening that evening before lights-out. Franky spotted Sanji working in the kitchen on something hot. Nami was seen trying on different earrings. Last, when most of the crew went to sleep at the 9PM lights-out and Nami went on watch, Sanji was still awake in the kitchen. Sanji had placed a table with a white tablecloth and a vase of flowers on the deck by the bow, and Nami was waiting on one of the two chairs. She was not at all dressed for night watch; instead, she wore a pale blue evening dress and dangling star-shaped earrings. Sanji came from the kitchen wearing a suit jacket over his usual black pants and vest.
"I'll be doing service tonight. Glad you're here, my sweet," Sanji said with a grin. "I prepared a delicious dinner for this special night."
"It is a special night. I'm glad we can celebrate together," Nami replied sweetly, her chin resting in her palm. She blew him a kiss, and he chuckled softly and caught it in the air. "One whole year, huh?"
"Yeah. A year. I can barely believe how quickly it's gone by. I remember you said you wouldn't make it a week," Sanji chuckled. Nami laughed too.
"Makes me feel a little silly when I think about it. Can I help you at all?"
"Nope. Just stay there and enjoy this beautiful view, my swan. Fortune is with me tonight, and the night sky is so beautiful I could not have better arranged the stars myself. Tonight, I'm celebrating you." Sanji bowed at the waist and went back to the kitchen. Nami smiled to herself, and waited on the deck with her eyes closed.
As the pair ate dinner together, Robin kept watch over the ship and over their activities. She watched as they chatted and laughed, and she smiled somberly to herself. She turned to the stern of the ship and sighed as she watched the stars blinking in the steamy night. Behind her, she heard footsteps, distinctly heavier footsteps. "What is it, Sanji? Shouldn't you be down there with Nami?" She asked instinctively, but was greeted by a considerably different voice.
"Sanji?" Robin jumped when she remembered there was more than one person with men's footsteps on the ship, and turned in shock to see Luffy standing there with a curious look on his face. "I thought Sanji took a later watch than this."
"He does, as do you. You've got the dawn watch, Luffy." Robin managed to keep her panic from her voice. "Whatever are you doing up?"
"Kid was keeping me up. I wasn't asleep, no matter how much I wanna be," Luffy grumbled. "What are you doing out here?"
"Nami asked me a favor," Robin said softly, dismissively. "Why don't I get you some chamomile tea from the kitchen to give you rest?"
"No, I can't sleep when we're arguing." Luffy stood next to Robin, staring out behind the boat.
"Oh, you and Zoro had a quarrel?"
"Nah, of course not. Me and this one." Luffy pointed at his tummy.
"I didn't know you could have an argument with him," Robin remarked with a soft giggle.
"He wins a lot. I think he's smarter than me," Luffy added. Robin covered her mouth to hide another laugh. From below, there suddenly came echoing piano music playing a waltz, and Luffy turned around. "Hey, is Brook up?"
"Oh, Luffy-" But Luffy was already gazing over the deck at Sanji and Nami.
"Ho!" Luffy gasped. Sanji and Nami were hand in hand, waltzing on the grass by the mast. Nami's eyes were alight with joy, and Sanji's serene grin betrayed a pure sort of happiness. They were utterly in their own world as he twirled her across the deck and she spun on the tips of her toes, graceful like a cat. Robin grabbed his hand. "Oi, Robin, look at this!"
"Luffy, let's go get you a snack. I'll unlock the refrigerator for you," Robin said softly. It was all she needed to do to make him forget.
"Yay!" Luffy was immediately distracted and followed Robin down towards the kitchen. Robin sighed softly in relief, as the thought of food kept his mind off of the music. Still, she listened to them as she ushered Luffy into the galley.
"Sanji, you didn't have to do all this," Nami said as the music swirled in the air.
"I wanted to. It's a special night," Sanji replied with a grin.
Robin managed to get Luffy back into the men's cabin and got herself back onto the top deck, but Sanji and Nami were already gone. They had cleaned up while she had kept Luffy distracted. She went back to the women's cabin to sleep, but she stopped outside. She surveyed the door for a moment, and sighed to herself. She took a seat on the floor beside the door, and covered her face with her hands. "Another night…"
"Oi, Robin!" She flinched as she heard Luffy's voice shouting again.
"Shhh!" She shushed him exasperatedly. "Luffy, please!"
"Eh?" Luffy blinked. "Is something wrong, Robin?"
"Please, please, be quiet!" Robin whispered urgently. Luffy yanked himself up to the second level and sat beside Robin.
"Why do we have to be quiet?" Luffy whispered back.
"Because, Luffy- it's lights out. Only the one on duty should be awake, everyone else gets to sleep. Including you." Robin rubbed her forehead.
"Oh. It's Brook's watch, right?" Luffy asked. Robin nodded, and Luffy thought for a moment. "When's your watch, Robin?"
"It ended fifteen minutes ago," Robin sighed.
"Why aren't you asleep?" Luffy asked. Robin paused, and glanced back at him. He stared at her for a moment, clearly reading her, and grinned, concluding, "You can't sleep either. So, we will not-sleep together."
"Of course," Robin replied dejectedly, and brought her knees to her chest. Luffy tried to do the same, but failed. They were silent for a moment, before Robin glanced at Luffy. "Does Zoro know you're up?"
"Nope. He's asleep. Also, Franky's out cold, Usopp's snoring, and Chopper is curled up too. Brook's on watch, and Gilly's been asleep for hours. So, it's okay." Luffy nodded to himself. "Does Nami know you're up?"
"Yes." Robin didn't elaborate further, until Luffy leaned to look Robin in the eyes.
"Robin, why aren't you in bed? I would be in bed but I feel worse when I lay down. You don't have this-" he patted his midsection- "sitting on your tummy. You could be in bed."
"Oh, for heaven's sake," Robin groaned. "Luffy, I'm very tired, but… Nami asked me to give her privacy."
"Ohh. Why?" Luffy didn't wait for a response. Instead, he got to his feet and went to the door. He creaked it open just a bit, and peered in.
On Nami's bed, he could see two shadows moving and hear soft moans. He tilted his head and squinted. He could make out discarded clothes and three shoes on the ground, and Luffy saw a pack of cigarettes dropped near the door. Luffy calmly shut the door and took his seat next to Robin. There was a moment of silence again, before Luffy burst into giggles.
"They're doing it backwards!" Luffy giggled, and Robin choked out a laugh as well.
"Yes, but I think they prefer it that way," Robin corrected quietly. "See by the door?" She pointed over her shoulder at the hinge, and Luffy looked to see a shoe, one of Sanji's, left there. Neatly. Precariously. Intentionally. "That's their sign that they would like a few moments of privacy."
"Why don't they ever do it down in the men's room?" Luffy asked, tilting his head like he had water in his ears.
"Because it's much easier to ask me if they can have the room alone for an hour than to exile all the other men and one child." Robin sighed. "It's only truly inconvenient when they fall asleep together and forget to let me back in. I go sleep in the sick bay when they do. And they do make it up to me. For this evening's interlude, Nami has already said she will take my shift tomorrow night, and Sanji has offered me choice of tomorrow night's dinner. I don't need it, but I suppose it's not all bad." Robin smiled slyly at this. "I think I will ask for some powdered-sugar teacakes for a snack."
"You're so generous, Robin." Luffy grinned. "So, how long have they been doing this? Ooh, and do you think there are wedding bells ringing?"
"The wedding bells are in the past, Luffy," Robin corrected him gently. "Think hard. What happened about a year ago?"
"Oh, yeah, Brook joined our crew!" Luffy grinned.
"And tonight, Nami and Sanji celebrated their first anniversary," Robin added.
"Man, I missed the wedding? I must have been asleep. I can't believe nobody told me!" Luffy scowled, but Robin patted his shoulder.
"Luffy, they didn't tell anybody. There wasn't even a proper wedding. Luffy, do you remember Absalom?"
"Yeah, that man. Nami kicked his ass good, didn't she?" Luffy beamed.
"Yes, well… the fact is, Sanji did most of it because Absalom had kidnapped Nami. Nami finished the job, but she was only-half aware that he'd been involved at all. The way Sanji tells it, he saw her in that wedding gown Absalom had dressed her in and saw an angel. The way Nami tells it, from what little she remembers of it, she could see his intentions in defending her honor were pure. Sanji showed that he was in love with her-"
"And then they got married?" Luffy cut in.
"Not quite." Robin smiled weakly, turning a little pink. "When Absalom had Nami, he almost married her. Once all was said and done, Sanji decided to defend her honor for good…"
"Nami." Nami turned at hearing her name, and saw Sanji in the doorway to the library. He looked weary and dejected. Nami wasn't at all used to see him looking at her without him looking amorously at her.
"Is something wrong?" Nami crossed her arms in front of her chest nervously.
"I just wanted to return this to you." Sanji held out a piece of paper- a marriage certificate. "I took it away from that lion-faced pervert just to be safe. He already put your name on it- must have gotten you to sign it when you were barely conscious- and I didn't want him signing it and filing it anywhere to make it legal. Take it, destroy it, whatever you like." Nami gingerly took the paper from him and squinted at it for a moment. She scowled and crumpled it in her hand.
"Sanji… you signed your own name on it!" She shook it in his face, and he looked away from her. "You idiot! You signed a marriage certificate with my name on it as the bride and yours as the groom!"
"Just so nobody else can sign it." Sanji puffed a long stream of smoke into the air. "It's not legal, I didn't file it with a notary. I just wanted to be sure nobody else used it. Shred it. Throw it into the sea. Burn it and throw its ashes into a volcano. Feed it to Luffy. Just… I don't care." Sanji turned to leave, and Nami dropped the certificate and grabbed his shoulder.
"Why didn't you give this to me before? Before you signed it?"
"Because I… I wanted to pretend!" Sanji clenched his fists. "I wanted to pretend, for just a goddamn minute, that I ever had a chance to be married to you!" Nami stomped her foot.
"Are you kidding?! I'm too young to be married!"
"And let me guess- never to a pervert like me?" Sanji whirled around, scowling furiously. Nami had never seen him frown at her before, and she was too shocked to speak. "A man can have dreams, can't he? I met you and I was smitten with your every feature." His fists were clenched, and there was a dark fire in his eyes. "I let you push me around and treat me like dirt because I wanted you to pay attention to me. I fell in love with you, and you're completely indifferent." Nami shivered, still unsure of what to say, as Sanji lit a fresh cigarette and took a long, long drag. He spoke again as he exhaled. "I came to terms with that a long time ago. But I saw you in that wedding dress, and I dreamed that you'd wear something like that for me and be mine. I love you like hell, but I know you're never going to feel the same way about me!" Sanji turned away again. "I just want you to be happy, even if you'll never be happy with me. I had my dream, and now it's over. It's time for me to wake up!" Sanji started to walk away, but Nami reached and grabbed his hand.
"You… you actually love me? You know how hard it is to tell when you flirt with other women all the time?!" Nami couldn't help but raise her voice.
"Because I appreciate and admire them!" Sanji barked, shaking her hand away, but he lowered his shoulders and took another drag off his cigarette. "You're the only one I really love, but that's a dream I have to give up on. Can I go now? Let me just go be alone for a while. Then, I can put on a happy face and pretend this never happened."
"Wait- Sanji-" Nami grabbed his hand again. "Sanji, let's talk about this." He whipped his arm away from her.
"What the hell is there to talk about?" Sanji snapped, shutting his eyes and shaking his head. "Stop doing this to me. I don't want to be angry with you!"
"Fool." Nami stepped in front of Sanji. "Look at me." Sanji forced himself to look Nami in the face, and could see that she was frowning in thought rather than anger. "Now, if you were to be married to me, would anything change?"
"What do you mean?" Sanji was struggling to keep his voice low.
"I mean, you'd still let me fight and be a pirate and make maps and steal treasure?"
"Of course I would. I would never ask you to change. Only thing that'd change is that you'd have me to come back to," Sanji grunted, looking away again, but Nami grabbed his chin.
"You wouldn't treat me any differently?" He looked her in the eyes, and she let go of him.
"I'd want you to at least show me some affection once in a while, but that's it."
"Would you still flirt with other women?"
"Yes I would, but only as a formality of my position as designated pervert. It doesn't meant anything to me. It hasn't for a while."
"And if I said I wanted out?"
"I wouldn't stop you." With that, Nami let go of Sanji and looked back at the certificate. His rage faded as he wondered at her utter calm.
"This marriage certificate is no good," Nami finally stated. "It needs to be sealed… like this." Nami turned to him and wrapped her arms around his neck. She planted her lips on his, pressing herself against him, and he instinctively wrapped his arms around her waist. She released him, and he gasped for breath.
"Nami- what-"
"It's official. We're married." Nami smiled at him as he gaped at her in utter confusion. "I give it a week, but I'll give it a shot."
"N-Nami… I love you!" Sanji cried, throwing his hands in the air. Nami winked at him.
"Good." Nami beamed.
"They asked me to sign as a witness, and they filed that certificate at the next island they landed on," Robin concluded. "They keep up appearances, they don't talk about their marriage, but when they're alone together, they're happy as a couple. I probably wouldn't even know if Nami didn't tell me herself, but she wouldn't want to change it for the world."
"Wow, they're so lucky." Luffy grinned. "So, when are they going to tell everyone?"
"I think Nami said she'd own up to it when they had no other choice. Sanji would do it this second. From what Nami tells me, their biggest quarrel is that she won't wear the ring Sanji got her." Robin shrugged. "But Luffy… you can't tell anyone now." She gave him a somber look.
"If that's what makes them happy," Luffy agreed cheerfully. "But are you happy? It can't be fun getting tossed out just so they can do the naughty thing."
"I won't begrudge them their vows, Luffy. I'll just wait until they finish and Sanji leaves, and then go to sleep." Robin smiled wearily, and Luffy peered in the door again.
"He is asleep." Robin sighed and covered her face.
"Luffy, can I stay in the men's room tonight?"
"Hehe, sure." Luffy beamed. "Just try not to be jealous of them, okay, Robin?" Luffy tapped his fingers together. "I know you'll get married and be a great mommy someday." Robin smiled weakly.
"I don't worry about that. Let's just go rest, okay?" Robin stood up and turned to Luffy, who was twiddling his thumbs pensively. It was an unfamiliar look for him, and Robin offered him a hand. He took it and she pulled him up to a stand. He immediately folded his hands around his middle, suddenly becoming rigid. Robin watched, as he still stayed in place, staring down thoughtfully.
"I've really lost the argument this time," he said slowly. "I'm pretty sure I need to go see Chopper."
"Luffy?" Robin gasped, pushing his hair back from his eyes. She looked into his face and saw the pain in his eyes and the fear on his face. She stared as he dropped back to his knees, cradling his belly in his palms, completely sure she was imagining the entire scenario and yet so terrified that it was real. "I'll wake Chopper," she whispered, and rushed away, but Luffy shivered in place. He took a few deep breaths, and finally let out a terrible, gut-wrenching scream.
End Notes: Ohnoes! The suspense!
Did you enjoy it? Review!
WTF you're writing about straight people?! Review!
WTF why aren't Sanji and Zoro fucking? Review!
Do you have a suggestion? Review!
Do you have a question? Review! (Answers not guaranteed, but hey.)
Anything to say at all? Review please!