Treasure Hunters
Author Notes: I'll be honest: this chapter has perhaps one of my favorite scenes from the entire story. However, this scene breaks one of my few rules: I used a Japanese term several times. The term used is "okama." Okama is Japanese slang for a gay man, usually implying an extremely feminine gay man. For example, Mr. 2 Bon Clay is an okama. I have elsewhere transcribed it loosely as "tranny," or a transsexual. I hope this makes things mostly clear!
Disclaimer: Have you seen it in the manga? Then I don't own it. All belongs to Eiichiro Oda.
Chapter 11: Shoot Me
"I know exactly why you are doing this!" Zoro snarled as he confronted Sanji. Chopper was right on his tail, crying wildly. It had taken Zoro two days to fully recover from his injuries, but his temper had only bubbled under the surface, building pressure. Now, the fight picked up exactly where it had left off. Chopper was halted at Sanji's appearance, as he had been before; he hadn't even bothered to comb his hair, and he looked like he hadn't slept at all. Zoro, however, couldn't give less of a shit. "You…"
"Why am I doing what, exactly?" Sanji grumbled around his cigarette. He looked far too exhausted to argue, and his tone betrayed it too. Zoro, however, did not seem to notice or care.
"You don't want to find Luffy. You don't want to find our captain, you… you mutineer!" Zoro's voice rose again. Chopper wailed and clung to Zoro's leg.
"Please don't do this!"
"Chopper, you- you know what this means to me," Zoro murmured to the reindeer. "But him!" He glared back at Sanji. "I know your problem. You don't like okama!"
"What the hell?" Sanji cocked his eyebrow, and Zoro raised his voice.
"On Alabasta! I distinctly remember you saying, 'I'm not interested in okama.' You know, I was always worried about this!" Zoro clenched his fists. "You think that because I'm Luffy's partner, we're just a couple of worthless okama and you don't give a shit about either of us as human beings!"
"When did I ever say that? I just said I'm not interested in okama! You're not okama! It's a goddamn nightmare of mine to get trapped by a shitty queen!" Sanji glowered in wrath.
"Homophobic coward," Zoro growled. "Do you have it in for me and Luffy? You afraid of us?" Franky rushed in from the main deck at the sound of the argument, and Brook entered from the lounge to listen.
"Who are you to talk? You're not even man enough to call yourself 'gay' or Luffy's 'husband.'" Sanji got to his feet and moved closer to Zoro. "I have my reasons for wanting to find Nami first! We need a navigator, but you just want to find your goddamn lover!"
"You're afraid of me. You don't want me and Luffy to be happy, dammit!"
"I just don't like okama! I don't care what you guys do, you aren't okama!" Sanji snapped. Zoro's eye twitched, and none of the witnesses believed what happened next.
Zoro grabbed Sanji by the shoulder, pulled their faces close, and smashed Sanji's mouth against his in a kiss. Franky, Chopper, and Brook could only watch the look of pure horror on Sanji's face as Zoro kissed him, and Sanji tried to push Zoro off and squirm away. When Zoro finally let go, he stepped back from Sanji and put his hands on his hips.
"O-" Zoro shook his hips to the left. "Ka-" He lifted his back leg. "Ma!" Zoro did a ballerina pose reminiscent of Mr. 2 Bon Clay, juxtaposed against his purely dignified glare, much to the horror of all around him.
After a tense moment, he dropped his limbs and folded his arms, his expression completely serious. Sanji turned to Brook, Franky, and Chopper with a very, very, very sad face. He tried to mumble something, but finally dropped to the ground with a sickly look on his face. Zoro simply began to laugh, and Sanji groaned as Franky, Chopper, and Brook joined in. He got to his feet, still scowling, and glared at the witnesses.
"That… never leaves this room. I don't want to hear you tell anybody about that! And you! You're crazy!" He whirled back to Zoro. "You are made of so many kinds of crazy I'm pretty sure I met your mother when I was getting tail in the psycho ward!" Zoro continued to laugh at Sanji's stammered comebacks, Chopper was pounding the floor, Franky was laughing so hard he was bawling, and Brook's skull appeared to be spinning around. Sanji was making absolutely no progress in stopping them, so he switched tactics to intimidating them. "Hey! Shut the fuck up! Chopper, I'll cook you right now! Franky, I'll kill you too! And Brook, I'll take your jaw off with a pair of bolt cutters if you don't chill the fuck out right now!" The three of them quickly tried to clamp their mouths shut to regain control, letting only small giggles escape.
"Defensive, aren't you?" Zoro teased with a smirk. Sanji whirled back to him with a desolate look on his face.
"Why did you slip me the tongue?!" Franky, Chopper, and Brook lost it again, but Zoro maintained his composition with a smirk.
"To prove a point. I sure as hell didn't expect you to like it." Zoro held his head high. Sanji moaned and rubbed his eyes.
"I feel like I just cheated on my wife with a hippopotamus. And you're a shitty kisser!" Chopper, Brook, and Franky stopped laughing. Zoro scoffed, before looking up and tilting his head like a curious dog.
"Wife?" He turned back to Sanji. Sanji froze, and hung his head. "Wait, you're married? To who?" Sanji shivered, put his cigarette out and lit a fresh one, and Zoro glowered and advanced on him. Franky stepped forward to get between them.
"That's enough, both of you," Franky finally growled. "Now, you both have ulterior motives for wanting to save either Luffy or Nami first, and Zoro, look at me!" Zoro scowled and glared at Franky. "I built another boat out of the wreckage, so we are going to search for both! But I am not going to let you two argue like children over this!" Franky turned to Zoro first. "You. Why do you want to find Luffy first? Be honest!"
"Because he's our goddamn captain!" Zoro snapped. Franky scowled and tipped his sunglasses down his nose to give Zoro a disapproving glare. Zoro looked away. "And I love his dumb ass. And my kids, including the one he's got in him."
"Good." Franky looked over at Sanji, still scowling. "Sanji, why do you want to find Nami first?" Sanji was silent, glaring at the wall. Franky reached out and grabbed him by the nostrils and started to pull him forward.
"Ow! Ow! Ow! Quit it!" Sanji pushed Franky off and rubbed his nose, before looking back to Zoro. "She's my wife, she's carrying my kid!" Zoro's eyes widened. He considered this silently for a moment, not knowing what to say. Franky heaved a massive groan.
"Okay. Now that this is all cleared up, it's time you two settled this like men." Franky reached into a high cupboard and took out two bottles of ale. He gave one to each, and pointed outside. Brook opened the door for them, and Franky glared when they hesitated. "If you two lay a hand on one another, I'll come out there and kick your asses." The two of them glared resentfully at each other, then Franky, back at one another, and stormed outside. Franky grumbled to himself, "Honestly, who gave those two the right to breed?"
Sanji and Zoro took a seat on either side of the foremast to look off at the ocean on both sides and not at all at one another, cracked their bottles, and each took a sip. They were silent for a few minutes. Finally, Sanji looked over his shoulder to Zoro. "It was last year, right before Brook joined up. You were asleep. We didn't really tell anyone. I guess you'd know about that." Sanji looked away with a very slight smirk.
"Yeah." Zoro didn't even jump down his throat at the taunt. "Makes you feel kind of stupid when it comes out."
"Damn right," Sanji muttered, wilting a little bit. "I feel like a total tool." Zoro sighed.
"So, she's pretty much just conceived?"
"Not a clue. She just found out, but for all we know, it could be more than four months."
"Jeez." Zoro hissed under his breath. "Did you two try to prevent it at all?"
"Nope. Kind of stupid, really." Sanji sucked on his cigarette. "Like we were asking for it the whole time. We didn't even talk about it. We didn't plan this baby. I don't know if she even wants kids!" Sanji scowled at the ground. "I want kids. I want like ten kids. But we didn't plan this one!"
"Nor did Luffy and I, and I didn't even think I wanted a kid until I had one," Zoro muttered. "But let's agree, as men, that we need to take attempts to prevent future unplanned procreation."
"Agreed. Drink." The two clinked bottles over their shoulders and took a chug. They were silent for a few moments, and Sanji started again. "You lost them both. What the hell happened?"
"Ugh. Robin said she had Gilly, so I went for Luffy. But he just sort of slipped through my hands before I could grab him, and then Robin... I screwed up. I shouldn't have let him go on that ship in the first place, I should have tied him to the mast! But he would have been pissed off at me."
"Yeah… I was just being an asshole to let Nami go alone. We had this awful fight a few days before that. I called her stupid, she told me to go fuck myself, and we hadn't spoken since. At least you tried."
"No excuses," Zoro stated emptily.
"Eh. I'll drink to that." They tapped bottlenecks again and drank. "So, do we have kind of an understanding here?"
"Yeah, I got it." Zoro turned to look back at him. "Your wife, your kid. Luffy and my kid… and Gilly. God, Gilly." Zoro sighed. "It killed me to see her and Robin fly off like that. I hope she's still with Robin."
"Must suck," Sanji murmured. "Luffy went one way, Gilly and Robin went another… Hey. Gun to your head, who do you save? Gilly or Luffy?"
"Hm? What, in this game of yours, I can only save one?" Zoro grumbled, and Sanji nodded.
"Yup. Gun to your head, pick one. Gilly or Luffy. Or your son, if he's been born. Gilly, Luffy, or the boy."
"Gun to my head?" Zoro smirked. "Shoot me." Sanji chuckled softly at this.
"Right. I guess what we'll do is let you take the Mini-Merry and the Franky-Positioning-System receiver so you don't get lost. You can even use the homing autopilot once you've found them. We'll use the shitty rowboat for when we reach islands, and I think Franky's working on an outboard motor for it. Keep in contact with us. Find the captain. Find your kids. If you find Robin and Nami and Usopp, bring them back. Divide and conquer."
"Yeah, we'll get further in getting us back together if we split up to look," Zoro agreed quietly. The two men tapped bottles again and drank.
An agreement was made between men, and the search began. Zoro took his favorite photographs of Luffy and Gilly from his storage box and tucked them into his haramaki, and he left the Sunny on his own the next morning. Sanji, Chopper, Franky, and Brook continued on the Sunny, waiting for any good news.
"Here we are, young Gilea." Mihawk stopped the raft at a lush green island. Gilly peered over the side. Robin opened one eye, and closed it before Mihawk could possibly notice. "This is one of the more inhabitable places on this Archipelago. You will find fresh, drinkable water and some lovely, exotic fruit trees. I have already sent for a rescue boat that will get you back to your family." He took a plank and set it on the side, making a thin ramp to the shore. "You will disembark here."
"Okay. How will we get Auntie Robin off?" Gilly took up her little sword to ensure she had it strapped on. Mihawk smiled a small, devious smile.
"Nico Robin will not be coming with you. I have alternate plans for her." Gilly's jaw dropped. This, she had not expected.
"But- Auntie Robin! You're going to give her to the Marines who hate her!" Gilly protested. "Please don't take me away from Auntie Robin!"
"I will not give her over to the Marines. I don't think the way you were treated was fair. It was dishonorable and backhanded, and I found it distasteful. Therefore, I will be leaving her elsewhere. You will begin your journey here." Mihawk patted her head as she stared, open-jawed, up at him. Finally, she held out her hand.
"Promise you won't hurt Auntie Robin?"
"I promise." Mihawk took her hand and shook it gently. Gilly stepped onto the ramp and ran down it, holding her hands out to the side for balance. She turned and watched sadly as he shoved off, with Robin still sprawled near the back of his boat.
Once they traveled some distance from the island where Gilly was left, Mihawk went to Robin's side and leaned very close to whisper in her ear: "You may stop pretending now. I have known you were aware for two days." He dropped a canteen of water at her side. "You will die if you do not have some fluids, and I would not like to break my promise with the young swordsman due to neglect." Robin, knowing it was useless to pretend otherwise, sat up and drank heavily. Mihawk went back to the wheel. "In exchange for saving your life, I will expect you to have the courtesy not to take mine. I will be keeping my promise with the young swordsman and you will be left on another inhabitable island."
"Why do you insist on separating us?" Robin asked hoarsely.
"It is as I said. She has a journey to take from here, some things in the world that she must see alone, and I do not have the audacity to change the path Fate has set for her." Mihawk drove on, and he did not speak to Robin again.
A few hours after leaving Gilly, Mihawk stopped on another island. This one had a few ruined buildings on it. "This is where we part, Nico Robin." He set the plank in place. She got to her feet, though unsteady from her injuries, and steadied herself on the railing of the flatboat until she got to the ramp. Mihawk took her hand and stepped into the water to help her down the thin plank, his eyes fixed on her as she walked. He stood on the sand beside her, and when he let go of her hand, she collapsed to her knees. "This is a deserted place, and if you hide yourself well, you will not be found. Give yourself time to heal."
"Thank you, Lord Mihawk." Robin bowed her head. "Is there… anything… I can do for you?" She looked up at him without lifting her head. He shook his head.
"It has been a privilege to meet you. Behave yourself. I hope you are rescued before too long." Mihawk turned on his heel and left, and Robin dropped back onto the sand. She closed her eyes and tried to think. All she could do was wonder if Gilly was alright, and what had happened to the photograph of her.
She must have fallen asleep when she closed her eyes, because when she next opened them, it was night. She only awoke when she heard the distinct 'click' of a gun cocking in her ear and the clap of handcuffs closing on her wrists. She looked up to see Commodore Smoker in front of her.
"Good news, Coby," Smoker said over his shoulder. "We've got bait."
"Hello, birdie." Red-Haired Shanks chuckled softly as the falcon hopped around on his head like a little sparrow. It had woken him from a nap, but he didn't mind. "What do you have for me?" He reached up and took the capsule off of the bird's leg. He shook the paper out of it, and the falcon flew off. Shanks unrolled the slip of paper, and grinned. "Well, well!" He looked at it on both sides. "Well, well, well! Hey guys, come look at this!"
"What's up, boss?" Ben Beckmann looked up from cleaning his rifle.
"I got mail! It's awesome mail!" Shanks rushed over to where his three senior crewmen were sitting. "Take a look at this!" He handed the paper to Ben Beckmann. It was a photograph of a rather cute little girl with tears in her eyes and moss-green hair.
"Hmmm. What a face," Beckmann remarked, smiling a little, and he passed it to Lucky Roux. He let out a little peal of glee.
"Aww! I could just eat her up! What a cutie!"
"Damn right!" Shanks laughed. "Come on, who knows this face?"
"Oh, I'd know that face anywhere!" Yasopp slapped his leg. "I can almost hear that voice saying, 'Take me out to sea with you!'"
"I wonder why she looks so sad," Beckmann mused.
"It came from Hawk-Eyes, and I know why he sent it to me and why she looks so sad." Shanks grinned. "Whose sad, pouty, 'Take-me-out-to-sea-with-you' face is that?!"
"Luffy!" The other three cheered.
"Except she's not pouting because she can't go out to sea. She's pouting because she got separated from her crew and she's all alone." Shanks flipped to the other side of the photograph to show a short note in red ink, written in neat print.
"Do you think the rumors are true, Captain? Could this really be Luffy's daughter?" Yasopp tried to look at her face again.
"Sure as hell looks like Luffy," Lucky Roux chuckled. "But it just breaks my heart to think of the poor little girl all alone! Is there anything we can do?"
"Yeah, we can't just leave her!" Yasopp insisted. "We should go get her!"
"We can't keep her, Yasopp," Ben Beckmann reminded him soberly. "We would have to return her to her father."
"Luffy doesn't need to know we're helping him, either," Shanks remarked, rubbing the scruff on his chin. "But still, Mihawk gave me coordinates of where he left her, and I'm not putting that information to waste. I'm going to check with a few of my contacts, and we'll arrange a little-girl relay!"
"Here's the plan. I've got a friend who's recruiting in that area, so I'll send him to her coordinates. He'll get her to an island another of our allies is using as a base, and from there, they'll get her to a crew who will get her back to her dad!"
"Sounds good to me," Lucky Roux agreed cheerfully with his captain.
"Those photos the Marines had were real. I wonder where Luffy got a kid," Beckmann mused, smiling to himself.
"Don't think too hard about the where, Ben. And don't think about where she got green hair either," Shanks tempted with a grin. Ben did think about it, and winced. Shanks burst into laughter. "And the best part is- rumors go, he's getting another one! Let's just hope we can get him back to his little girl really soon."
"Don't you want to meet the little girl too?" Yasopp wondered.
"I will, someday, when the time is right," Shanks chuckled. "Let's just see what path Fate leads us all on."
End Notes: "O-ka-ma!"
I laugh every time I picture Zoro doing that.
So, what did you think? Any questions? Comments? Concerns? PLEASE REVIEW!