A/N: this story contains adult themes which may be offensive to some readers. It includes subjects such as suicide, sexual content, abusive behaviour and such, and also uses language that may not be tolerated by some readers. If that isn't for you, I wouldn't read on :)
All twilight characters, universe, themes and everything related to the twilight saga are thanks and owned by Stephenie Meyer.
Charlie was just what I needed.
When I first came out he wheeled me to the car, insisting that I may still be too fragile. He made sure I was comfortable in my room with pillows and shit, and that whenever I needed something I got it within 3 seconds of asking. He would come up to me every hour and he would send me frequent text messages from his spot on the couch.
But after a day or two, we settled into what seemed a perfectly functional routine. We just got on with our own lives. Chit chat wasn't really what we did. He would ask me how I was and I would tell him be safe, and that was our relationship. It was easy.
It was just what I needed.
With settling in to Charlie's, I almost forgot about Edward. But at night, when the silence, he was always there, waiting for me, as I drifted to sleep. I'd dream about him. It was something I was trying to keep under control and I often stayed awake as long as I could to hide from him. I didn't fucking get it. Why was he haunting my dreams? On many occasions I almost drove round to tell him. Tell him that he can't just get under people skin and crawl his way into their minds like this, but I didn't know where he lived and my confident cowardice talked me out of it every time.
It was so fucking hard to ban him from my brain.
So hard. I knew that there was a reason he saved me. He didn't just stumble across my body or stumble across my house. There was a small and stupid and perhaps somewhat wishful part of me, which thought that he may, just may, have been looking for me. But this, I also didn't understand. I hated him for it. I hated him for making me think about him and dream about him. I would sit in my room all night livid with anger, for this beautiful boy, who in so many people's eyes had saved my life.
I think even Charlie started to notice. He'd give me weary looks and stare at me, creasing his forehead. I could hear his mind churn. He wasn't subtle, I can tell you that.
When Monday finally came I'd almost worked myself up into a fit and convinced myself that home schooling was for me, but when my alarm went off at 6.15 I got out of bed without any trouble and dragged myself off to the bathroom.
When I got downstairs Charlie had already left, but had scribbled a note and stuck it on the front of the fridge.
'Have a good day Bells. Be safe. Charlie xx'
I took it down, dropping the magnet purposely that was holding to the frigde on the floor and let it roll under the table. Did he think I was stupid? What with the Charlie? With only the two of us living in this house, it was evident that he was the one who had written the note. I wish he wouldn't treat me like I was four either. I stole a biscuit from the cupboard and glugged down some squash that had been left on the side. Edward was turning me into a moody bitch.
This was going to be a fucking awful Monday, I could tell already.
My truck trudged into the school parking lot with its obvious spluttering and its usual trail of smoke behind it, i was surpirsed that everyone standing behind didnt get gased immeadiately.
All day, everyone insisted on telling me I was the new girl and offering to sit with me at lunch or walk me to my next lesson, and every single one called me Isabella.
This dick called Mike Newton hung at my feet. Offering to pretty much live my life for me. I didnt need some spotty boy ruining my peace. Fuck, I didnt need a boyfriend, I didnt even need friends. If he wanted a quick shag, I'd be up for that, It might realease some of my anger, but even that I wasnt sure if he was the right guy to be fulfilling those kind of needs. He probally tell all his friends and I could really do without being the 'slut'. Not on my first day anyway.
All my lessons were pretty boring, but when it came to last period biology I perked up. I liked biology, I was good at biology, and as far as I knew, Newton wasnt in my biology.
I got there and introduced myself to the teacher, he seemed pretty alright, didnt make me do some big speech or anything. He just pointed me in the way of the only spare seat in the class. Most of the kids were already sitting and staring so i tried my very hardest not to fall over my own feet, which was tricky, i can tell you. I looked up and saw Newton, oh, fuck, well thats the lesson ruined. He moved out the way and I realised that he didnt sit near me. I thanked the lord silently to myself. I blinked and in the millisecond my eyes were closed Mike moved out the way and there goes the earlier comment, My day was now ruined. I sighed heavily. i had to sit next to him. Edward fucking Cullen.
Just what I needed.
Sometimes I feel so happy. Sometimes I feel so sad. Sometimes I feel so happy, But mostly you just make me mad.
Linger On - The Velvet Underground