Beautiful Music
By My Self Indulgence
Chapter 4
Awkward Encounters
"You're home early." Jackson noted, looking down at an obviously trashed Jared propped against the couch.
"Don't even get me started. Fuckin' bitches, man." Jared slurred, his swaying was starting to make me dizzy.
"Why are you still up it's…?" He continued, looking at the non-existent watch on his wrist. "It's fuckin' bright-O-clock." he finished with a belly laugh.
"I was, uh…." Jackson started, not quite sure how to continue, so I stepped out from behind him.
"Oh, hey." Jerad mumbled, finally noticing my presence.
"Hey, Jerad." I replied, prepared for the shit storm to begin but assuming he wouldn't remember me, especially given his current state.
I was wrong.
Jerad stumbled off the couch, balancing himself against the perimeter of the room as he wobbled in our direction.
"Hey! I know you.." he spit out, eyes half closed.
"Hey…I know her." He not-so-whispered to Jackson while awkwardly pointing at me.
"So I hear." he replied patiently.
"Wow! Blast from the fuckin past." Jerad bellowed as he fell back into the wall.
Jackson threw his arms out instinctively to catch his sloppy friend and guided him back to the couch.
"Lucky son of a bitch." He said shaking his head at Jackson.
"Best. Blowjob. Ever." he huffed into Jackson's ear, probably assuming I couldn't hear him.
"Am I right? Or am I right?" He smirked, settling back into the cushion.
"OK!" I shrieked, clapping my hands together, Jerad winced at the sound.
"Now that we're all besties, I need food! So you," I poked Jackson in the chest as I walked towards the stairs. "be ready when I get down."
"What's her problem?" I heard Jared stammer as I ran up the stairs, not waiting to hear Jackson's response.
Perfect! Just perfect! I thought as I tugged the death-trap pants back on.
I sat on the edge of Jackson's bed to pull my boots on and tried to collect my thoughts. I buried my face in my hands and was willing myself not to hyperventilate as heard the door open. I refused to look at him, afraid of what I'd
see in his eyes. Maybe he didn't give a shit, but I felt like a douche. Even though my little tryst with Jerad was almost a decade ago, they were friends….it was awkward at best.
Up until today my plan for leaving everything behind worked beautifully, I just hoped this was the only skeleton that would surface. I moved here to escape that part of my life and I was happy to leave it where it belonged…behind me.
"Ugh!" I grumbled, finally lifting my head up.
"Hey." Jackson whispered, throwing an arm around me in a loose hug.
"It's fine. Don't even worry about it."
"No, it really isn't though." I whined. "You really know nothing about me, and now this is what you have to base an opinion on. Now I look like a slutbag, and I'm not.!" I ranted.
"I don't think that." he assured me, trying to catch my eye.
"Ugh, Jackson. Really? Because even though you're the first person I've slept with in forever…..I've still somehow managed to suck every dick in this house."
Jackson started to smile, but let it fade when he realized I wasn't trying to make a joke.
"It's just shit luck. Now, if you were to, I dunno, run down stairs and blow one of my best friends, that would be a different story. But the fact is, it was 10 years ago. Let it go and smile already, damnit! "
He was smiling, but I could tell Jackson was getting a little aggravated with me, and as much as I didn't want to admit it, he did have a point. Maybe I was blowing it out of proportion. If he didn't care, why the hell did I, right?
"You're right. But," Before he could cut me off I put a finger to his lips.
"I don't just fuck random guys I meet at bars, ya know. Well, I do now, I guess." I laughed out the last part, causing him to smile behind my finger.
"Well, I don't usually." I muttered, defeated.
"Hey," He huffed as he pulled my hand from his mouth and held it in his.
"Considering I'm the random guy you fucked, I'm glad you made an exception."
I couldn't respond because he pressed his lips to mine, effectively shutting me up.
"You're such a bad influence on me." I joked as I straddled him and laced my fingers in his hair.
"You done pouting now?" he teased and bit into my lower lip before fully consuming me.
Before I could process what he was doing, I was on my back, Jackson hovering over me sporting a devilish grin.
"Not if this is the reaction it gets me, I'm not" I swooned.
"Shhh" he scolded, holding my wrists behind me with one hand as his eyes bored down into mine.
I complied, a little taken aback, albeit turned on, by this sudden onslaught as he kissed me roughly. I kissed back. I tried to catch my breath when his lips released mine but my attempt was futile as he latched onto my neck, hard. I gasped, both out of the pain and pleasure of it all , Jackson snapped his head up in response, glaring at me.
I wasn't sure how to respond, I half expected him to snarl at me like a possessive lion at meal time. He must have saw the slight fear in my eyes because his expression relaxed and a candy-coated smile stretched across his face.
"Let's go get some food." He mumbled, dropping down to sweetly kiss my sore neck.
"…Okay" I hesitated waiting for an explanation that didn't come.
"I gotta grab my shit from the dryer, I'll be right back." He explained, leaving me at the edge of the bed in a daze.
I grabbed a lighter and a stray cigarette from his dresser and headed out to the balcony.
What the hell that was all about?
Fuck, these jeans are giving me a hysterectomy.
Maybe he's bi-polar?
Whatever, I liked it.
I feel like I pissed myself.
Damn Wind. Damn Jackson for getting me all juiced up.
Maybe I'm a masochist.
Hmm.
I laughed at myself as I stubbed out my cigarette. I stuck my head inside the sliding door and called out to him.
"Jay?" No answer. I turned around to grab his lighter off the table.
"Mmmhmmm" I heard in my ear, startling me.
"Damnit! You scared the shit outta me!"
"Sorry, what's up, you ready?"
"Yea, I'm ready. But, would you mind swinging by my place real quick first? These pants are killing me."
"You could just leave them off." he offered, popping the button open.
I poked him in the ribs before refastening it.
"Oww, damn. Yeah I'll take you." He huffed, rubbing his ribs.
"Or, I could go get them and you could stay here to catch up with your boyfriend."
A look of disgust broke across my face and I tried to form a reply before he quickly cut me off.
"It was a joke." He groaned. "Too soon?"
"You're such a dick." I hissed, but I couldn't help but laugh when he did.
"C'mon asshole, you're buying me breakfast."
The whole Jerad "non-situation" pretty much dissipated by the time we pulled up to my house. It was still in the back of my mind, but, Jackson was right, it was 10 years ago and in all actuality, it was kinda funny.
"Welcome to the mansion!" I joked as we stepped inside. "Heff is around here somewhere."
Jackson chuckled, until he saw a pudgy cat trot around the corner.
"Heff?" he questioned.
"Yeah. He's my neighbor's, they're away for the weekend." I answered, tugging down my zipper.
"You don't waste any time do you." Jackson purred, as he slid his hands over mine from behind.
"Slow your role!" I laughed.
"You. Sit." I said pushing him into my favorite fluffy chair.
"Stay!" I added with a chaste kiss. "I'll be right back."
I all but sprinted up the stairs gladly tearing off the borrowed pants. I flipped open my phone, speed-dialed Lori and hit speaker.
"Mornin' Sunshine!" I bellowed.
"Hey, ho!" she laughed "Well, how was it? Get your cherry re-popped?"
I tossed the phone on my bed and tore through my drawers while I toed off my boots.
"Amazingly fuck-tastic! Lo, migod, this kid is uber talented!"
"Oh, uber, huh?"
"Shut up! I'm still "O"ing here." I laughed, pulling on a less nerdy pair of pink boy shorts and some loose fitting hip-huggers.
"Good. You needed it. Are you going to see him again, or was this more of a wham bam situation?" she wondered.
"I haven't technically stopped seeing him, he just brought me home to change and we're getting breakfast. And no, no paints were harmed in the process." I assured her before continuing.
"But, you'll never guess who his roomie is."
"Nelson Mandela? She said, laughing at her own funny.
"Jerad Fucking Anderson" I yelped.
"Ha! No way! How's he lookin' these days?" she cooed.
"Exactly the same, but so not the point here, Lo!"
"Sorry," Lori cleared her throat and attempted to sound serious as she continued,
"Is it a huge issue for….ummm…drawing a blank here?"
"Jackson!" I yelled
"Oh yea!" she giggled.
"He says he doesn't care, but…." I trailed off as I heard my door creek open.
"Did you call me, baby?" Jackson asked as he poked his head in.
"No, just talking about your sweet ass." I explained, pointing to the open phone on my bed.
"Helllooo! I'm still here. Keep it G rated!" Lori groaned.
"I'll call you later, bye!" I said shutting the phone on her.
I laughed when I realized that I hadn't put a shirt on yet and grabbed my "Chocolate Jesus" fitted tee.
"You really are a big Waits fan." Jackson smiled as he yanked the shirt from my hands.
"Oh yea, he's a genius."
"Don't go to church on Sunday, don't get on my knees to pray. Don't memorize the books of the bible. I got my own special way." I sang.
"It's gotta be a chocolate Jesus to keep me satisfied." He chimed in and we both laughed at the shared moment as he pulled me into a hug.
"You're kinda perfect, you know that?" he said, almost shyly as I took my shirt back and pulled it on.
"How's that?" I questioned, heading out the door as he followed.
"You're basically Jerad with tits."
"Whoa. What? What the fuck does that mean?"
"That didn't come out right. What I meant was, you're like one of the guys."
"Ahh, that's lovely." I huffed, not sure I liked where this was headed.
"You're funny as shit, can drink most guys under the table and you have impeccable taste in music" he clarified.
"So, what you're saying is I'd make a great drinking buddy?"
"No. Well, yeah. But, no. Yes, you're like one of the guys but, rolled up in a sexy-as-hell woman who I couldn't possibly maintain a platonic relationship with."
Jackson looked up at me, hoping his ramblings would pacify me.
"Good save!" I laughed, dropping my glare. "And thanks, I think."
"So, what do you want to eat?" he quickly changed the subject.
"Food, preferably." I chuckled as I followed him out the front door.
"This way." I called over to him as he walked towards the truck.
"There's a good place just up the street."
Jackson caught up to me and laced his fingers in mine, butterflies took over my stomach.
I don't think I'll ever stop loving this.
I felt a familiar vibration on my hip and Jackson grabbed his phone, reading the text with a laugh.
"What's up?" I asked and he handed me the phone so I could read it.
Bring home grub.
"Jerad?" I questioned.
Jackson nodded and dropped the phone in his pocket as I pulled him to a stop.
"We're here." I beamed, happy to finally get some food in my system.
We exchanged random small talk over breakfast and took our sweet time finishing our third round of coffee.
"I need a cigarette." I groaned, eyeing the "No Smoking" sign in the window. "That's one thing I miss about the 90's. You can hardly smoke anywhere now. I'd probably hang out here all day, but I need nicotine with my caffeine or I just don't function properly." I laughed grimly.
"Ha, that's a song actually, it's called The Lonesome Ballad of Lonesome Boy".
"Who by?"
"A good friend of mine who passed away a few years ago, Spencer Bell."
"Oh, I'm sorry." I rubbed his arm awkwardly, I'm not good at comforting people.
We got up to leave and both had our cigarettes out before the door fully shut behind us.
"We're such addicts." I laughed. "So, how does it go?"
Jackson looked at me, confused.
"The song, can you sing it?" I clarified.
"Oh, yea. It goes," He cleared his throat and began.
"I'd be at the diner now, but you're not allowed to smoke inside and I can't afford to compromise the few devices that I have that help me write." He paused waiting for my response.
"I love it, go on!"
"Yea, it's a great tune. You gotta hear him sing it though. I'll get you some CD's later."
A smile broke across my face as he continued my make shift serenade.
"I've gotta smoke I've gotta be alone, frequently I've gotta burn one to my dome or two, it helps me figure out what a saxophone would do. So I can have a melody, one that I can stick inside of you. And you can hum it on your way to wherever you go and if I'm lucky you will start to think that even though, your girlfriend don't understand why you're always sad, there's someone who knows exactly that. That's me, I'm the lyricist, it's not my job, it's my disposition. I gotta let you know this life is rich, we're not alone. You see it's really me that I'm trying to convince.
"I love it!" I clapped, probably looking like an idiot. "I really do, I'm excited for my CD's now! Was he in the band with you or?"
"No, but he was in a band with Ben J, you'll meet him and Ben G, and Marty the Bananager, too. You'll have a monkey overload." he promised.
"Good, I can't wait!" I said, excited that he was making future plans that included me.
It was almost 1:00 by the time we got back to Jackson's truck, Jerad's doggy bag in tow.
"Did you want to come back over?" He asked, eyes hopeful.
"I definitely do. But, you should probably get some sleep." I sighed, rubbing the circles under his eyes with my thumbs.
"Probably." He pouted as I slung by arms low on his waist and pulled him into a kiss.
"Mmm, bacon!" I mumbled, making him snort out a laugh.
"You have my number, use it!" I instructed as he got in and shut the door.
"I'll give you a call when I wake up, okay?"
"You better, cowboy." I half yawned, tucking his hair behind his ear. "Jackson" I sighed and with one sweet kiss he was off, leaving me swooning on the sidewalk.
I fumbled inside and up the stairs, almost tripping over a sleeping Heff. I tossed my shoes across the room and before succumbing to a blissed out euphoria, one thought popped into my head.
I am totally going to fall in love with him.